Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Chelsea. And most likely the plot….if there is one…
Summary: SEQUEL to The Diary of Lily Evans Lily Potter, formerly Lily Evans, is happily married to the handsome Mr. Potter. Chelsea Fanrae, her best friend, decides that life just isn't the same without a diary following them everywhere…
A/N: I actually really hate the summary for this…but it's the best I can do right now. Anyways, THE SEQUEL IS HERE! Aren't you happy? I hope you are. Enjoy…
The Diary of Lily Evans, nowait, Potter Chapter One
A Letter to Lily in her NEW, FABULOUS DIARY– From your best friend in the ENTIRE universe, Chelsea Fanrae
Dear Lily, I'm sorry I couldn't make it for your birthday, but I WILL arrive soon! Who would have guessed that the floo network would be down?I thought I would have run into trouble with all the snow over here in Canada…but apparently the floo network is crap during this season. It supposedly has something to do with all the fireplaces being used. One of my room mates ended up in Guam the other day, and she was just trying to get to her parents house, which is only a city away. So, thus is why I decided to owl my gift to you. I expect lots of documentation, even if I arrive tomorrow!
PS: turn the page and you'll find an extra gift…
THE WEDDING OF JAMES POTTER AND LILY EVANS
DOCUMENTED BY CHELSEA FANRAE
So dear Lily, I am scribbling (magically, that is) madly away on this nice table napkin (although paper CAN be conceived as tacky, Lily-kins. Not to mention all the trees it's killing…tisk tisk. But I like the little flower design on the edge) because you just had to go and use the last page in your diary. I for one will NOT let the wonderful reception dinner go un documented!
(the food is wonderful, by the way)
That's because I helped James and Lily pick out what to eat.
Sirius! What are you doing! Did I give you PERMISSION to write on here?
I'm the groom's best mate. I have just as much right to document this as you do.
Diaries are a very GIRLY thing, Sirius.
I'm very secure with my masculinity. You should know that, of all people, Chelsea.
Do NOT bring THAT up. I'd like to ignore that our 'relationship' EVER happened. Now go before I curse all you're hair off. Or maybe I'll even curse your 'masculinity'.
You wouldn't dare. Not at Lily and James' wedding.
Do you REALLY want to test that theory?
Not particularly, no.
Good. Then put down that wand and LEAVE. You have no right to magically write your perverse thoughts in here.
Perverse? What perverse thoughts? I have kept all of those in check! I haven't once mentioned how hot the girl sitting two tables over is and how much I want to---
Don't you DARE finish that sentence!
Well you're the one who brought up perverse thoughts.
Who has perverse thoughts?
REMUS! STOP! BOTH OF YOU!
She thinks I am perverse.
Well you are.
That cut me deep, Moony. That cut me deep.
Why do I even bother? I can't put this in Lily's diary now.
Why not?
Because, Remus, it's not documenting anything. It just filled with Sirius and I bickering.
Well that's what's happening, isn't it?
Only on this bloody table napkin. Not what's actually going on at the party!
The only thing that's happening is people are talking and dancing. See look, over on our left, there's Lily and James, laughing and dancing the night away. Happy Chelsea?
I guess.
You're just bitter because now you aren't the special person doing all this documenting all by yourself. Now you have to share the credit.
Oh yes, because James and Lily are going to be thrilled…
They will be! Lily likes my documentation! It's because of documentation that they even got together!
Nuh, uh, it was all my doing. I told Prongs to not give up and---
SIRIUS BLACK YOU'RE IDIOCY CAUSED OUR ROOM TO BE DYED PINK AND LILY AND JAMES TO BE EVEN MORE MAD AT EACHOTHER THAN EVER BEFORE!
She has a very viable point, Padfoot.
Point, shmoint. They got together afterwards.
Can someone get me some fire whiskey?
Later – alone, in the women's washroom
I had to hide in here to get away from Sirius. He's driving me nuts. James looks happy though. Almost like he's died, gone to heaven and married and angel named Lily.
Mmmm…I think I rather like fire whiskey.
Did you see the giant stack of wedding presents? One looked like a toaster. I like toast. Nice and crunchy…but still slightly soft in the middle.
LOVE the party favours too, Lils. Then again I DID pick them out. Candied almonds…my favourite. Ok, so typically they're for Italian weddings but they're so bloody good. Remember how I stole all the samples from that wedding planning place? And then we ate a whole bunch while we were making up all the little bags and had to go buy more? Yeah, that was fun.
Do you think it'll be that same. Even though you're married now? I mean…geeze….the diary's gone and all we have left is this…
Why am I crying? Oh merlin…no stop you bloody tearducts…maybe more wire fiskey will help…
I mean fishing wire, nooo…that's not it…fire wire?…no, that's not even a word…fire…whiskey! Yes…fire whiskey.
Even later – table of cards
Hahaha…Lily, why are there three of you?
Merlin, Chelsea you're drunk…
Well this is certainly interesting.
Chelsea, why don't we go to the bathroom and get you sobered up, ok?
What was that, Sirius? I can't read you're writing very well…Some thing about a large baboon and getting my snowbird up?
I'll be right back Moony
Mhm…I'll document a bit. You know Lily, you and James have disappeared. I hope I don't fond you off snogging in some broom cupboard like that time you both skived of charms (which shocked me until I remembered you could ace charms with your eyes closed). I almost feel like searching for you and then laughing when I find---oh look, you just wandered inside and….IS THAT A HICKEY I SEE? Oh look at that, you're blushing and James is fawning over you…and from what I can just hear of your parents….they're already ganging up with the Potters and discussing your 'soon to be child's' trust funds. Oh, here comes Wormtail…oh dear. He just walked in on Chelsea and Padfoot snogging madly in the bathroom.
Even Later than Even Later
Sirius here. Moony is off still trying to sober up Chelsea. He's decided I am not responsible enough to do the job. I mean honestly…it was one little kiss….and SHE KISSED ME, ok? SHE KISSED ME! What was I supposed to do? Be rude and shove her off? Lily, you know I'm not a rude person. Moony has informed me though that I'm to act as if this never happened and to destroy this, but why should I do that? Like Chelsea says, proper documentation is a must.
Well ok, maybe I should destroy this. Chelsea won't have any memory of what happened in the bathroom but if she reads this after she'll kill me. Ok, I'll do it right now-----oh look…some of those tasty candied almonds…
So, Lily, aren't you happy I documented everything? I haven't even re-read it. And truth be told I don't remember much of that night (remember the killer hang over?) I was in a hurry to send this to you too, so I just haven't had time to read it and relive all those wonderful memories. Well, see you when I get there!
Dear Chelsea,
To please you I have copied and taped in a copy of this letter into this nice new diary you have bought me…
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
I can't believe you're gone out and bought another one! Do you not remember all the havoc it caused last time? Need I remind you of the TWO times we ended up standing on toilet seats in various bathrooms?
Yes, yes, that might have happened anyways…but goodness gracious Chelsea Fanrae…
And for the record, I recommend that you read your nice, documentitive table napkin. I'm sure you'll realise that you now have a total of three bathroom incidents.
Cheers,
Lily
A/N: So, how was it? Does it make sense? It makes sense to me…but I'm not the best judge of sensible-ness, most of the time. If you review, I'll update faster…and you'll get a lovely….jar of mangoes! And if you don't like mangoes you can have a jar of the fruit of your choice! Review!