TONIGHT
ON THE ABC WEEKEND SPECIAL SATURDAY MORNING MOVIE…
"It's fun working with technology, as long as it's not confused for talent, in and of itself." — The J.A.M.
STEVEN SPIELBERG PRESENTS / PRESENTA / APRESENTA…
THE STORY OF A MILESTONE IN MOTION PICTURE HISTORY…
Calamity picked him up and signed, "Hello, Mr. Rodriguez. This new movie is flowing very smoothly."
The rodent looked at him and spat with bristled fur and very low ears, "Well, yoo can estop floweeng eemmeedeeately. Estop de prodocshonn now!"
"What?"
"Yoo herrd me! Estop feelmeeng!"
Unsure why he was giving such an order, Calamity lowered his ears slightly and flashed a huge sign above him that read, "EVERYTOON, SAVE IT!"
Some of the crew shrugged and began turning off the reflectors.
"No, we'rre not gonna 'save eet'! Tell evereetoon to go home! We'rre estopeeng everee seengle moovie rright now and shotteeng down forr at least one month!"
"WHAT?!" blurted both cast and crew alike.
"Don't josst estand derre, yoo mangey coyyotteh! Tell dem!"
Even more shocked at the order, Calamity lowered his ears completely and flashed an even bigger sign that read, "EVERYTOON! GO HOME UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!" The canine then turned to his boss and flashed a smaller sign, "Lightning, what's going on?"
Mary stepped up, just as shocked and surprised as the rest, "Yeah, what's the matter, Mr. Rodriguez?"
The mouse paced on Calamity's paw and grumbled, "The Rapper, dat's what's de matterr! Dat estoopeed Warrnerr Brodderrs 360-deegree moovie, The Rapper!"
At that, Sneezer and Sweetie smiled and began singing on the console, "Ah, The Rapper! In west Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground was where I spent most of my days—"
"Eet's no joke, yoo two!" squeaked their boss, swishing his tail. "Eet's a sensashonn! Toons arre escreameeng forr morr!"
"More whut?" asked Banjo.
"Morr 360-deegree moovies!" Lightning rubbed his face and head in unspeakable worry and frustration.
WHEN THE FOURTH WALL WAS BROKEN FOREVER…
Lightning's form stood straight and said, "Hello. Dees ees a demmostrayshon of a 360-deegree moovie. Note dat eet ees a perrfect non-transparent non-aleeased non-peexelated 24 meelleeon colourr 360-deegree hologram of myself. Note dat I even generate shadows, and dat I'm talkeeng een fooll v20 Binaural Surround Sound™."
Not only that, but the rodent's form was "walking" around the platform, enabling all the spectators to see both his face and tail at one point or another.
HOLLYWOOD…
The crowd outside the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood was swelling by the minute. It had taken quite a number of police officers to keep the street and the red carpet clear, more than in any previous premiere that had happened here before. And even though it wasn't the stars' first film, the fact that it was their most recent was enough to bring out the crowds in droves.
2027 A.D.…
"This is Mary Heartless, live from the red carpet of the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood! This is truly an incredible night, ladies and gentletoons! Just about every star in Hollywood is arriving here for the Rodriguez Brothers' premiere of Snatched From The Wind, the most talked about movie of 2027! And all around me, you can see and hear everytoon eagerly awaiting the arrival of Banjo 'Possum and Mary Melody!"
Apparently, that was the crowd's cue to roar in anticipation. Just then, a black hover-limousine zoomed up the street, and the whine of its turbines died down as it settled on the pavement. Then, the butterfly-type door swung open with the characteristic hiss of its control pistons.
WHEN 3D WAS LEFT IN THE DUST…
For Mary, meanwhile, everything was spiralling out of control. She was about to say something, but Calamity beat her to it. He signed, "Now just wait a moment, Lightning! A 360-degree movie? Are you sure? Shouldn't we wait until we see how The Rapper turns out after a few weeks?"
"NO! Everee estoodeeo ees jumpeeng on de bandwagon, Cal! Everee seengle theatrre een de country ees eenstalleeng hologram projectorrs, tearreeng out de normal seats and setteeng up de double-ampheetheatrre arrangement! Orr worrse, some theatrres arre even being torrn down and getteeng rrebuilt from zero weeth de new setup! And we'rre not gonna be left out!"
AND NOT EVERYTOON WAS READY…
The feline face-palmed, and with his ears low and hackles raised, signed, "SEXY!"
Mary blushed again, but did as directed. She shifted her legs, curved her spine, and placed her left hand on her hip.
Banjo crossed his arms, but then remembered that he had to act with his tail, so he uncrossed his arms and tried tapping his hips slightly. And his tail flopped on the floor once more.
AND THOSE WHO WEREN'T…
Those in the audience who were looking directly at that laughed even louder, because it looked like Banjo was trying to play the maracas with his tail.
Naturally, the actor was quite proud of his accomplishment. "Slick tail action, eh, Lil' Mary?"
The actress just shook her head and rubbed her eyes.
WOULD STRIKE AT THOSE WHO WERE…
"Well, what are we gonna do now?" asked the doe.
"Nothin'. Yew're gonna dew absolutely nothin'."
The three turned to the door, and there was Banjo The Woodpile 'Possum, dressed in a white sports jacket and pants.
A HUMANMAID…
"Well, if you want to know from the start, it would be impossible to tell any story of my career if I didn't include my lifelong friends, Sweetie and Sneezer." She gestured carefully at her companions on her shoulders. "We met when we were kids; we grew up together, and ended up working together!"
A JAGUAR…
He leaned toward her and added, "A stage actor. No green screens, no teleprompters, only one take to get it right, and a real set on the stage. And not just any stage: the 360-degree stage, mind you…"
AN OPOSSUM…
…He simply added with happy ears, "Ayeeup! We had plenty o'fun makin' it, an' we hope all y'all had fun seein' it tonight!"
CAUGHT IN A STRUGGLE TO SURVIVE IN A TECHNOLOGICAL UPHEAVAL…
Her finger silenced him, and she replied, "J.A.M., it was more than just incompatible computers and programming bugs." She rubbed her aching head, "It was…so much more than that…"
AND IN A BATTLE FOR TRUE LOVE…
The humanmaid crossed her arms and scoffed, "'Li'l Mary'. Can't that guy take the most 'gentle' of hints?"
Sweetie looked at her, "What, haven't you heard? He's IRRESISTIBLE!"
"Yeah, he told us so himself, yup-yup!"
Finally, the sunset faded away, leaving the couple alone as they shared their first kiss in a loving embrace…
MARY MELODY IN HER FIRST FEATURE LENGTH MUSICAL…
She slid gracefully and tossed her scarf around her neck to keep both ends behind her. As she approached the corner, she sang:
"I'm slippin' on the ice!" She grabbed the street signpost and swung herself around it twice, making the snow on top of it fall on her head.
"Just slippin' on the ice!" Mary released the post and continued gliding down the sidewalk.
"For a fabulous pratfall…"
AND IN HER MOST EXTENSIVE CLASS PROJECT YET…
She shook her head, "I…I should have been stronger. It's not fair to you guys that we had to dump all the work we had so far!"
The humanmaid continued, "And now we had to rush this new film in order to get it in on time! Are we even going to get a passing grade for it? You know it counts for a third of our final grade!"
ALONG WITH MANY TOONS YOU ONLY SAW IN PASSING…
An orange-haired woman in a yellow coat told her red-brown-haired husband in a black coat, "That was a total bust."
A trio of very tall and very angry hillbilly opossums in dark blue coats padded out, all with angry features. One of them snarled, "The Rapper wasn't much better than this, but at least one could see it without any glitches!"
The red-haired boy, now in a neon-red jacket, pranced out, alongside his friend, another red-haired boy with jeans, a blue jacket and a blue cap, and both were imitating Mary's line with definite mockery: "I love you, Billy. I love you, dear Billy. I love you, dearest Billy…!"
BANJO THE WOODPILE 'POSSUM AS YOU'VE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE…
"Billy Bob", ears low, crawled almost feline-like through the burning and smouldering rubble of what was once a mansion, trying to find his human girlfriend, the love of his life.
He called out, "JOSIE! JOSIE!" Though he had to stop and cough several times.
Suddenly, he finally saw her, lying face down and unconscious under a thick wooden beam that was still burning in some spots of its top side. "JOSIE!" he screamed. He slithered deftly around "Josie", and with uncharacteristic strength—and muscles that he definitely didn't have before—he slowly lifted the beam from her body, pushed it away, and dropped it just inches from her head.
AND A HUGE SURPRISE AWAITS EVERYTOON AT THE END…
"J…J.A.M., you're not going back to Mexico for good, are you? You're not…leaving…me—us…are you?"
IT'S TIME TO SING…
"No, the heart that has truly loved never forgets," She leaned up to hold his head in her hands. "Billy Bob" was startled, naturally, but only for a moment. He smiled with relief, raised his ears, and sang as well:
"But as truly loves on t' th'close…"
IT'S TIME TO DANCE…
"Oh, we are the toons of the chorus!
We hope you like our show!
We know you're rooting for us,
But now we have to gooooooooo!"
IT'S TIME TO ACT, FRONT AND BACK…
Furrball padded away a bit and turned his back to them. He signed, "Happy." Even though the opossum and the humanmaid couldn't see his face, the way the cat curled the tip of his tail, raised his ears, stood on his toes slightly, and relaxed his fingers, clearly conveyed gladness.
"Sad."
He lowered his ears and shoulders, and let his tail drop to the floor. In fact, every muscle on his back and legs seemed to sag.
CREE SUMMER FRANKS
"…am I a good actress?"
LUKE RUEGGER
"Why, yes, of corrse I'm yoorr boss! And I own dees estoodeeo and evereeteeng een eet!"
CANDI MILO
"Patience, lovermouse, I am about to be BRILLIANT!"
KATH SOUCIE
"Song of the East, yup-yup!"
"Josie ees, 'ow yoo say, workeeng een ze fields where she belongs, mon amour."
CALAMITY COYOTE AS HIMSELF
"But just remember, Melody, you might be trading those skates in for wings and a halo!"
LITTLE BEEPER AS HIMSELF
A male red roadrunner in a black tuxedo stepped out, followed by what could only be described as a female sphinx wearing a white gown. They, too, walked up the carpet and into the theatre amidst the roar of the crowd.
ROB PAULSEN
"Later, Li'l Mary! See yew there! Ah'll be countin' th'seconds!"
THE J.A.M.
"Um, are you sure that it's in your best interests to be seen in public with me?"
SPECIAL APPEARANCES BY
NOEL BLANC
"…but da fantasy part will be dat it will include…toons."
JOSÉ RAMIRO ACOSTA PÉREZ
"N…no problem, Mary, you know you can count on me!"
JENNIFER CLECKLEY
"We're preparing you for some 'slick tail action', lover boy."
TRESS MACNEILLE
"It sucks!"
FRANK WELKER
"Unfortunately, I have the only bullet left in this house. Don't worry, I ain't gonna kill you here and now. I need to capture you alive and bring you to General Lee himself to collect my reward…"
MELLENY BROWN
"…You just watch as the numbers go down the toilet within the hour in those minute updates."
ARE
She slid gracefully and tossed her scarf around her neck to keep both ends behind her.
SLIPPIN' ON THE ICE: THE EXTRA-VAGANZA
She extended her arms and one leg, speeding down the street, before jumping into a triple twist and landing on her left foot to glide backwards once more.
A BODY CAST AWAITS…
A tall white teenager with purple-dyed hair, wearing a pink coat and black pants, apparently caught by surprise by the ice, was stumbling and slipping her way toward her.
IF YOU FORGET YOUR SKATES…
The teen's feet flew out from under her and she slammed on the sidewalk flat on her back.
NEXT / NÄCHSTE / NÄSTA / A CONTINUACIÓN / A SEGUIR…