Ed stared, a mix of emotions taking over his horrendously blank face. Confusion, fear, hope. The complete whiteness around him, drowning out the noise in his head. "So I wasn't wrong." He turned toward the gate. "My theory of human transmutation is possible. The answers are all here." He placed a hand on the gate, looking at the creature that called itself 'all.'
"Please, you have to let me see it again. Show me the promiseland." The barely visible creature merely stared back at him before finally opening its mouth. "I'm afraid I can't do that. I've shown you as much as I can for the toll you've paid." The creature sounded almost sad, but all he heard was that gloating tone in his voice. "Toll?" The creature gave him an unnatural smile as it leaned forward into his personal space. "Don't tell me you didn't know," It said and he vaguely felt pain in his leg and heard himself groan with the pain of it, but he felt so impossibly numb.
"This can't be happening," He stated, but he was suddenly no longer in that white space. He was in his house, bleeding out and his brother was nowhere to be found. He screamed in pain, his thoughts incoherent and all over the place. "What have I done?" He cried for his mom, turning toward the alchemic circle only to gasp in shock at what he saw. Whatever it was, it was definitely not human.
He pushed aside the numb feeling in his chest in exchange for some urgency. He needed to get his brother back and he needed to get himself bandaged up so he wouldn't bleed out. He figured the latter would be his first priority, seeing as he was already feeling dizzy from blood loss and he figured that if he didn't get the blood to stop that he would very quickly find himself passing out.
So he dragged himself toward where they had left some bandages, at first just there in case they had cut their fingers too deep, but then there because there was still the change of an unwanted alchemic response, no matter how perfect their circle was. Alphonse had insisted after reading a story in the news about a state alchemist who got caught up in some alchemic feedback and died because the circle was meant to drag out a specific element out of the environment, but because there was none of that element there, it fed off the man's body instead. Ed had felt it unnecessary then, but now he found it a saving grace as he wrapped the bandages around his new stump.
Blood was still staining his hands, that on his leg starting to become dry and crusty, while that on his hands still wet enough for him to do what he needed to as he dragged himself back toward the fallen armour that had been knocked over during the transmutation.
"You won't take him too. Give him back. He's my brother." He righted himself by the suit of armour and used the blood on his hands to draw a circle onto it that would bond his brother's soul to the armour. "Already played my part. Take my leg. Take my arm. Take my heart. Anything, you can have it! Just give him back! He's my little brother! He's all I have left!" He screamed in hysterics, clapping his hands together to finally perform the transmutation that would bond his brother's soul to the armour.
After a fearful moment, the armour finally started moving and he heard his brother's voice gasp in shock at the state Ed was in. Ed finally lost his balance, toppling over onto the floor sideways and he gave a relieved giggle as even more tears poured down his face until he was full-blown laughing, while his brother worriedly questioned him about what was going on.
He only vaguely recognised that his brother had at some point gone and grabbed some more bandages and had righted him, so that he could wrap the bandages around his body. It was only then that he registered the new set of pain in his shoulder and realized that his arm was now gone, though he didn't particularly care at this point (he supposed that he probably should, but he was way too relieved that his brother wasn't dead because of him).
As his brother finished wrapping the bandages around him, he picked him up in his cold, and now rather large for a nine-year-old's arms. Ed's eyesight was starting to get blurry and he was having trouble staying awake, but he could now hear and pinpoint Alphonse's worried rambling.
"Why? Why would you do that?" He heard Al whisper, his armour shaking much more than it should have been. He was worried for a moment that the armour may not have been strong enough to hold up actual movement, especially after years of sitting in their father's study. Or even worse, that he'd gotten the bond wrong and it wouldn't hold Al's body, but then he heard what sounded like sobs coming from the armour and he curled into himself.
He did this. His brother would never be able to truly cry again like a normal kid. And how many other things would he no longer be able to do now that he'd sealed him to a suit of armour?
He tried to focus his brain back onto what Al was saying, but his mind kept wandering to moments when he'd promised to take care of his brother in their mother's place. And he was doing a pretty shitty job, but at least his brother was alive.
"I kept my promise, man."