by Waterfall
Hunger... boredness, hunger. Someone, so sad - abandoned! Anger and hate, sadness again. Happiness!? Anticipation, joy... lust. Pain, sorrow - Fear! Deep, deep fear. Hunger, sadness, fear - joy! Curiosity, glumness - pain! Sorrow..! Love - hate! Hate! Fear! Happy - sad! Fear! Sorrow! SORROW!
"Stop it! Please stop it!"
17 year-old Jeremy Jonah Jones was sitting behind the main building
of the school, holding his hands over his ears, pleading and sobbing. The
feelings didn't disappear any more; they were always in his head now. Happiness,
anger, lust, hate, sadness and fear. The last ones were the worst, because
they made him feel so helpless. He wanted so much to help, and he couldn't.
Couldn't.
"I CAN'T!" he shouted, and stumbled to his feet. Almost blinded by
the tears running from his eyes, he ran through the school gate and on
towards the mountains looming nearby.
It wouldn't do any good to go home, there were always so many people nearby. So, as always, he ran in the opposite direction. Up the steep tracks, past the little creek and the big trees where the children used to play, up towards the overhang at the far, far top of the mountain. There he stopped, collapsing right on the edge of the cliff, sobbing and gasping for air. There were almost no feelings up here, just the distant buzz from the woodcutter's lodge far below. If he only could stay here forever...
"What would you eat?" he asked aloud, mocking himself. "Where would
you sleep? Wouldn't it be just as bad, living here... all alone?"
The sentence ended in another sob, as he thought of his parents, his
sister and his brothers. To never see them again... never hearing them
say 'I love you', never hold them...
"NO! I'd rather DIE! I didn't want this!! I don't want this! I DON'T
WANNA BE ALONE!!"
His scream echoed through the landscape, scaring the birds into flight.
For a moment he just sat there, entranced by their graceful flight high
above the ground. Then he looked over the cliff edge. The town looked like
a Lego city from here, so tiny. And the forests and fields around the city
were like big carpets with the few roads making fascinating patterns, like
a modern painting. Slowly, he got to his feet and walked right to the edge,
pushing a few pebbles over it wit his feet. They fell and fell, tumbling
through the air. Would it really be so bad, jumping?
"Flying..." he murmured. "Just like the birds..."
"Not quite."
"What?!"
He whirled around, almost falling over in the process. Two strong hands
caught him and held on tight, pulling him away from the tempting emptiness.
When he looked up, he looked right into a pair of intense, brown eyes.
"It wouldn't be quite like flying"
"It... You..."
It suddenly seemed impossible to form an intelligent sentence. The
beauty of the woman in front of him, compared with the shock of discovering
that he wasn't alone, left him stunned and bewildered, in such extent that
it took him along time before he realised that if he hadn't seen her with
his own eyes, he would have thought himself alone.
"Your feelings! I can't hear them!" he gasped, almost too frightened
to be happy. "What did you do? Is it over?"
The strange, Chinese-looking woman shook her head, a sad expression
on her face.
"No, Jeremy. It will never be over, never go away. I am simply blocking
my thoughts from you."
"B-but..." he stuttered, unwilling to believe her. "But I don't WANT
it to be like this! I'm going CRAZY!!"
Unable to help himself he burst into tears again, thinking of the people
he loved, the people who loved him, the people he had to stay away from
if he didn't want to hear their every thought...
"Hush! Hush..." Her arms enfolded him, and she rocked him slowly. "You
won't go crazy. Not if I can help it. You see, that's why I'm here. To
help you control this gift."
"It's not a gift!" he sobbed. "It's a curse, and if I have to live
like this the rest of my life, I'll rather jump! I WILL!"
"That would be a big mistake," she told him dryly. "It might seem like
flying at first, but then you'll hit the ground, and that'll be totally
different. Splat. No more Jeremy."
Then her voice softened, and she started stroking his hair. "You might
feel that way now, kid, but when I'm finished with you, you'll have learned
to accept your gift, to live with it - maybe even to love it."
"How?" he asked in a small voice.
"Well, for a start, I'll teach you how to shield your mind from others,
like I'm shielding my mind right now. Then I'll teach you how to use your
gift to heal. Not only are you a strong empath, you have also got the potential
to become a very good healer."
"Oh."
They sat down on the ground, and both of them were quiet for a while,
giving Jeremy time to think about all he'd been told. After a while, he
turned to the woman.
"May I ask you a question?"
"Sure. Ask me anything you like."
"What exactly is an empath?"
She smiled at him.
"It's a person who can sense other people's emotions, like you can."
"Oh. Are you an empath too?"
"No. But I can heal, just like you. And I can help you. You see, that's
also part of my gift. Finding other healers, so I can help them. And so
I can teach them how to defend themselves."
"Defend themselves?" Jeremy repeated, shocked.
She nodded gravely.
"From what?"
"From people who would hurt them. From people who do not see what we
do, but only what they think we are - monsters."
"But... there's no such people here! No-one would..."
"Not yet, because none of them know what you are. They might change
once they find out."
"No!"
He stared at her, didn't want to believe that it could be true. But
he'd heard them talk, he knew their innermost feelings. Some of them were
like that. Some of his friends were like that. But how did he know
if this woman was any different?
The thought suddenly struck him, and he started wondering. There were
so many strange things going on right now that he didn't know what to believe,
let alone who to trust. Then he remembered another thing.
"How did you know my name, anyway?"
"I've been watching you for some time, figuring out how to approach
you. I've never done anything like this before..."
She sounded unsecure, almost nervous. But why? Because she was afraid
he'd reject her help - or because she was trying to lure him into a trap?
If he couldn't trust his friends, how could he possibly trust her? There
was only one way to find out...
"Let me read your thoughts."
"What?!"
"I want to know if you're telling the truth."
"Yes, of course. If you're ready..."
She closed her eyes, and visibly relaxed as her shield went down. He
reeled backwards when her emotions struck him with full force.
Anxiousness. Fear. Hope for the future. A strong need for healing entwined with a just as strong need for destruction. The love... for friends. For him? For him.
"Enough! Enough!"
Immediately, the emotions vanished. He fell down on his back, holding
his head. This wasn't what he had expected. She loved him? Why?
"Are you all right?" she asked, bending over him and touching his forehead.
"I'm fine," he answered her. Then, before his nerve failed, he went
on: "Why do you love me?"
"Love you?"
She looked so shocked that he didn't think she'd known it.
"Yes. Didn't you know?"
"No. But I guess... I guess part of it is because you're so brave.
You carry a heavy burden, and most people would have succumbed to it long
ago. And perhaps... because there's something between us, something I can't
explain. You are my pupil and I am your teacher. Can't you feel it?"
He looked at her, and he felt nothing.
"No."
"Try harder."
He looked again, this time trying to see whom she was inside instead
of what she looked like. On the outside, she was really beautiful. But
on the inside... she was so sad, and so full of anger. A healer and a destroyer.
Love and Hate intertwined. As he thought about this, her paradox, it was
almost as if he was feeling it instead of thinking it. How come he suddenly
knew her so well, when he'd only met her a little while ago? Maybe there
was something there...
As of its own will, his hand reached up and touched her face. It was as if a dam had broken. It washed over him; all that was her, all she had felt, all she was feeling! By her surprised gasp he realised that she was experiencing the same thing. He looked into her eyes and let the wave wash over him.
* * * * *
"I believe you," he said, when they'd both recovered from the experience.
She smiled at him, and ruffled his hair.
"I know you do. I feel it."
"This is so strange!"
"I know. I didn't think anything this would happen."
He knew her name now; it was Guinivere. She was a mutant, just like
he was. His teacher. The thought filled him with pride, but it also made
him sad.
"What is wrong?" she asked him, having noticed his change of mood.
"I have to leave, won't I?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so. You won't be good company for a while."
"My parents..."
"We'll explain it to them. And I don't think it will take as long to
teach you as I thought, not with this psychic bond we seem to have acquired.
You won't be gone for long."
"How do you think they'll react?"
"I don't know, darling. But whatever happens, I'll be there for you."
She gave him another smile, then reached over to him and enveloped
him in hug. He returned it in full.