Once upon a time in the messed up world where the two most dangerous college age kids in the existence of everything reside, a huge disturbance in the force was made. By "College age kids" I mean 20 year-olds Aerra Carter and Avery Bordwrighter, and the "huge disturbance" refers to the events described by the rest of this tale.
The following is all based on a true story and should not be re-enacted by ANYONE. Ever.
~007 is the father of Indy~
Before we begin this disgrace to literature, I have to explain to you the situation of our main antag- sorry, protagonists.
Aerra and Avery would be best bros if they were guys, but they're not so they have to stick with 'best friends'. They usually run around being awesome and disrupting the peace with their derping. However, despite their immature behavior and slaughter of the English language, they both attend the University of California, Los Angeles on full scholarships because they are scarily intelligent.
They live with Aerra's aunt in Malibu. Yes, the Malibu where a certain genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist lives, because Aerra's aunt is filthy rich (not kidding on the filthy part; she didn't get her money through the most honest means). The house they live in is large (the Christmas tree will definitely fit in the living room) and the decor is insanely expensive in the upper half of the place. The house sits on a hill and the lower floor is the only place Aerra and Avery hang out/live on because although they have a devil-may-care attitude nearly all day, everyday, they do have some reservations. Aunt Audrey is usually out of the house for weeks on ends to unleash her party-animal self in the casinos of Vegas, which Aerra thinks is stupid but does not protest since they get the house to themselves most of the year.
Anyway, it was one of those times when Aunt Audrey was away and the girls were so extremely bored that Avery decided to use her magic skills she learned from the forbidden section of the library to summon random "fictional" characters into their house.
Of course, the stupid spell couldn't deposit the characters all at once into the house, oh no, it had to spontaneously spit them into the world in different places.
This is how it all went down.
~Gatoraaaadddddeeeeeeee~
The Backyard: 9:12 AM
Aerra Carter was partying hard, jumping up and down on the couch while blasting classical music out of a boombox she bought at a thrift shop and waving twizzlers everywhere. Why was the couch in the backyard you ask? No one knows really. I don't even think the couch knows why its there.
"YEAH BABY YOU'RE A FIIIIRREEEEWOOORRRRKKK! C'MON LET YOUR COL- FNFDJKFN!" she sang then yelped when something fell from the sky and landed on her, a cracking noise heard as her poor spine snapped and the whole three-seater couch sunk into a 10-foot crater from the force of the impact. At the same time, another object crash landed in the nearby pool, which was shaped like Jim Carrey's face (cause Aunt Audrey thought he was hot or something).
"Fudge muffins..." she groaned.
"WHOADUDEYOUVETOTALLYBEENCRUSHEDBYTHEROOFTHATSSOAW ESOMEAHAHAHAHAHA!" Avery shouted upon falling from the sky and landing near her BFF.
A tick mark appeared on Aerra's head and she leapt to her feet to point dramatically at the Japatalian girl.
"YOU JUST BROKE MY BACK WOMAN! I'M GONNA BE PARALYZED FO LYF NOW! I'LL HAVE TO TROLL PEOPLE WHILE IN A WHEELCHAIR!"
Avery just crouched there laughing.
"I find that hard to believe considering you are, after all, standing there. On your feet. Standing." A huge, devilish grin appeared on the face of the full grown child. "And for the record, it wasn't me" she half sang "I was standing on the upper level grinning like an idiot like I always do and the floor just caved" she gave a closed eye smile (she is part Japanese) and started jumping off of walls and singing in italian due to sudden boredom.
Aerra twitched before going wide-eyed and bursting into those fake anime tears.
"Alas, I have been spared ye a tragic fate by thy hand of cheap construction workers. I have never been so-" she paused and ripped off her mother's drapes that she somehow put on in the past minute. "Nevermind, I can't do this accent." She deadpanned.
Avery laughed "Did thy mother knoweth you had worn her drapes?" Just then a brilliant idea popped into her mind "Hey, you wanna go to 10880 Malibu Point 90265?" A mischievous grin spread across her face as she spoke of a certain billionaire's California home.
A blank look was directed toward Avery.
"Do you even have to ask?" she said flatly, before a cunning gleam shone in her eyes. "Let's go right now!" she yelled and sprinted toward the garage where their hovercraft of awesome (aka hovercraft of Prussia) lay in wait.
~sort of magical time skip brought to you by a pair of Johnlock Bromance shippers~
The Kitchen of Tony Stark: 10:19 AM
"BORED!" Bang!
"BORED! BORED! BORED!" Three more gunshots resounded throughout the house as obviously bored out of her mind Avery Bordwrighter shot a smiley face she had spray painted on the wall. This is what she did whenever she had nothing to do.
She cocked the gun to fire yet another shot and remembered she had only loaded only 4 bullets in her colt m1917 revolver. Muttering a few swear words in Italian, she threw it aside.
She was shaking with the need to do SOMETHING, and brushing off JARVIS' every verbal attempt to get the devious duo out of the house. They had arrived at Tony's house some time ago, and JARVIS had let them in.
Well... let wouldn't be the best word... the pair being genius and all... they had hacked JARVIS and proceeded to waltz into the luxury home like they owned the place. Upon JARVIS' release, he had immediately yelled (if the AI was even programmed to do that) at them both to get out. Of course they refused. The devious duo do what they want. Aint nobody messes with the devious duo... Aint. Nobody.
Assuming the AI had already informed Stark of the unannounced entry, they figured they had time to kill until metal face arrived. A few minutes passed, and thats when Avery pulled out her paint and pistol.
"Ms. Bordwrighter, will you please stop wrecking the building?" JARVIS pleaded.
"BORED!" Avery whined, hitting her face on the marble countertop. "Geez could Tony-kun be any slower!? Tell him to move faster!" She whined.
"Chillax dude," Aerra said absently, furiously clicking away at the computer, "and look what I found using the world's best technology~"
"What...?" Avery asked, a hopeful gleam in her eyes.
The giant TV monitor turned on to reveal unreleased footage of their favorite thing.
"I struck oil." she said, smirking in triumph.
Avery's face lit up like a christmas tree.
"NOWAYIVEONLYHEARDRUMORSOFTHISTHINGZOMGILOVETHISTH INGSOMUCH!" Avery squealed
If JARVIS had a body, he would've jumped back in fright. And worn a smashing suit and bowtie. Because bowties are cool. Also a pocket watch... maybe carry around a daily planner, and wear white gloves... oh, and don't forget the awesome mustache!
Hmmm... maybe no mustache...
Anyway, back to the matter at hand...
"Well it seems like the British tried to pull a James Bond and had already filmed the third season but they weren't gonna release it until November this year, and only in England at that." she snorted. "The idiots forgot that Americans speak English too so all I had to do was hack into BBC and get the files, which is a relief because I'm too lazy to translate anything."
"So...they tried to hide him from us, eh...?" A menacing purple aura surrounded her as Avery spoke.
"Indeed my devious partner. Indeed."
"Ms. Carter, please refrain from hacking off of Mr. Stark's computer, you might get him into trouble."
The two girls looked at the ceiling (JARVIS being disembodied and all)
then to each other and broke out in laughter.
"Thats the point~. Well... mine anyway" Avery said with a wave of her hand.
"But doesn't Mr. Stark have the best lawyers in the world?" Aerra said innocently after the laughing fit.
"Thats besides the point, Ms. Carter" JARVIS said.
Avery rolled her eyes. Just then, she heard the door open and shut.
"Oh good, you're back. Sir, these two girls have refused to depart from the premises. And, I'm afraid, they've also been intent on wrecking the kitchen wall." JARVIS said "What shall we do sir?"
"I'll handle it, JARVIS." Tony said walking into the room, "Now who are you and wha- oh!" He said, looking up "Avery, how nice of you to visit." He said smiling
I'm pretty sure JARVIS would've like, totally facepalmed:D
"Whoa you two know each other!?" Aerra yelled
"How do you think I got his address?" Avery said, giving another closed eye smile.
Aerra facepalmed for JARVIS then patted one of the computer monitors sympathetically. "I learned not to question the things she does and so far we've only gotten arrested twice."
"I apologize JARVIS, I failed to tell you about Avery. Shes welcome here anytime." Tony said smiling after hugging Avery and petting her on her head. "What brings you two to my home?" Tony asked, walking to the fridge and noticing the smiley that had been shot at. He turned to Avery. "I'm sorry, did I keep you waiting?"
Aerra looked at Tony Stark with a whole new level of respect at that comment. Anyone who didn't mind Avery using guns indoors was fine in her books.
"A little~." Avery said, smiling her closed eye smile of smiley-ness again. "Don't worry, its fixable."
Tony smiled and grabbed some yogurt from the fridge.
Wait. Aerra just realized something kind of important and elbowed Avery in the gut. Pretty dang hard at that.
"Ow, what is it?"
"Aren't you going to introduce me dude?" she whisper-yelled.
"Thats a very good idea." Avery said with a look of... great... idea-ness "I'll do that some other time though."
A depressing little raincloud materialized over Aerra's head. 'I'm being shafted...'
Noting the change in atmosphere(and not caring all that much...), Avery turned to Tony.
"So what's new, Tony?" She asked
"Not much really. There have been some very strange occurrences lately. People popping up everywhere and going insane over strange things." He said, taking a spoonful of his yogurt into his mouth. "You wouldn't have anything to do with it would you?" He asked. His eyes alight with suspicion and amusement.
Avery giggled and a halo appeared over her head.
"Well possibly~"she chimed "Anyway, what happened to that guy you caught? That cute, black haired guy that wrecked your tower? Nokia or whatever right?"
Tony sweatdropped, looking at her like 'are you kidding me?'
"Loki is in Asgard, facing justice. Why do you care?"
"It interests me." Avery shrugged
"Honestly..." Tony sighed
"Also, about those incidences... what exactly happens? To the strange people, I mean." Avery asked
"They appeared out of nowhere. They started wandering around, some talking about ghosts, others of time travel, one even started going on about a ring." Tony looked at Avery cautiously. "Seriously, you didn't have anything to do with it right?" He said, his voice apprehensive.
"Well... I might've messed up on one word in the incantation..." Avery sighed
"Dammit Moon Moon!" Stark exclaimed, hitting the counter and suddenly bringing up that thing Avery showed him on tumblr when they met. Avery jumped and hid behind Aerra.
"THAT. IS. MAHOGANY!" Aerra yelled.
"Kya~a! Im sorry! I didn't pay attention in Latin!" Avery sobbed, going chibi and crying gigantic tears.
"Didn't you read them off from the book...?" Aerra asked
"They were in runes..." Avery said with a sniffle.
"...there was an English translation you know."
"It doesn't work in English..." Avery sniffed again "It probably would've been worse... if i did it in English, I probably could've put them in different worlds and messed up the dimensions..."
In response to that little bit of info, she got a dog bark.
Wait.
"WHY IS THERE A DOG IN HERE?" Stark yelled pointing to the oversized dachshund. For reals, this dog was the size of corgi but it looked like a brown dachshund and wore a bowtie and a jet pack.
Avery shrugged.
"I don't know any oversized dachshund characters..."
"THERE YOU ARE!" Aerra cried, tackling the dog and squashing it flat. She scraped its abused body off the ground and held him out for everyone to see.
"This is my dog, Sir Williamsworth of Detroit. He was a present from my cousin Flynn. He gave him to me right before he ran away to Bolivia to escape the FBI and MI6 manhunt for him. Flynn's kind of a criminal."
"Oh yeah now I remember!" Avery said "Doesn't he owe money to Burger King too?"
Tony facepalmed.
"How in the name of the Holy Roman Empire did I get mixed up with you?" Tony sighed.
"I threw potatoes at your car window, then followed you to your meeting on that ship, and then saved you from a giant whale." Avery said smiling innocently. She turned to Aerra. "Do you think we should go check out those weird incidences with those characters in which I may or may not have something to do with?" She asked.
"It would probably be for the greater good of mankind if we didn't go and make the mess bigger, but I'm quite bored with this place so..." she sat on Sir Williamsworth of Detroit, "LET'S GO! AGAIN!" and she sped off on her jet-packed dog like Jimmy Neutron and Goddard.
Avery jumped up.
"YEAH!" She muttered an incantation, sprouted wings, and took off like a monkey from a box, following her friend.
Tony Stark stood there with a look of fear.
"JARVIS, call S.H.I.E.L.D. and tell them to monitor those two." He said with a hint of panic in his voice, "I swear on Hawkeye's life that-"
He was interrupted by the lights turning off and the song "I'm Sexy and I Know It" filling the room as Dummy rolled in.
Tony glared at the poor robot.
"Really?" He asked
Dummy just started moving his arm in way that resembled dancing.