Disclaimer: I do not own Brawl, but I do have a Wii and Brawl… XD
Disclaimer: I do not own Brawl, but I do have a Wii and Brawl… XD
Yay a new story… I was reading the new tier list, and I got this idea. Beware this story is so random that it's probably going to be even more random than my author notes…
Ike: How can anything be more random than your author notes?
Me: You'll see… Anyways, enjoy XDXDXD
Chapter 1: I Fight for my Friends
Kirby waddled around Final Destination were several of the Brawlers hung out or fought. But Kirby wasn't looking for a fight, or for a place to chillax. He was here for something much more important…
Master Hand had called on him with a mental message because Crazy Hand was high on cocaine again and Tabuu childishly decided to turn him into a trophy with his Off-Waves. But Master Hand also got hit and became a trophy as well. He met up with Captain Falcon, who was currently in a Brawl with Meta Knight, the strongest and most revered in Smash Manor. Meta Knight had taken no damage and lost none of his lives at all. Captain Falcon however was on his last life and had 178 damage.
"Falcon Pun-" Captain Falcon began. But Meta Knight had rushed in front of him and Side Smashed him off the screen.
"Victory… is my destiny…" He said in his deep voice. He then noticed Kirby watching his fight.
"Ah, hello, Kirby," Meta Knight said. "Are you looking for a rematch?"
"Maybe later," Kirby said. "I'm looking for Master Hand…"
"Master Hand?" Meta Knight blinked. "I saw him with Tabuu a while ago, I think they went that way." Meta Knight pointed in the direction he last saw them.
"Thanks, I'll see ya in the Neutral Zone later…" Kirby said. Meta Knight nodded and vanished from the stage. Kirby waddled to the direction Meta Knight had told him and encountered Master Hand and Crazy Hand in their trophy forms.
Kirby sighed and tapped the base of Master Hand's trophy form. Master came back to life, sighing…
"Thanks, Kirby, I owe you one…" Master Hand said with relief.
"No problem…" Kirby said. "Why did you make Tabuu use his Off-Waves anyways?" Master Hand sighed.
"It all happened a few minutes ago," Master Hand began, "I was giving Tabuu his daily ride."
"Meaning he bound you with the Chains of Light again?" Kirby asked. Master Hand nodded then he continued explaining his story.
Flashback
I was giving Tabuu a ride as usual. It was so peaceful, except for the loud shouting of "Mine, the smash ball is mine!" from the lower tiers and the breaking of necks by Snake. Other than that, it was quite peaceful until…
My twin brother came in, and he was sniffing cocaine…
"AHAHAHAH!! LALALA!! I'M SOOOOOO HIGH!! OH, HI BRO!! WHY ARE YOU HERE? AND WHY ARE YOU SO… DOWN…?" Crazy Hand asked in a hyper voice.
"I'm not down…" I said matter-of-factly. "And have you been sniffing the cocaine I confiscated again? I thought I told you not to take it!"
"I KNOW, BUT I COULDN'T RESIST, I JUST LOOOOOOOOVE BEING HIGH!!" Crazy hand said in his hyper voice. I sighed. Tabuu saw that I was having problems.
"Neh neh… if you want I could always use my Off-Waves…" He said in a childish voice. "Can I? Please!! I wanna use the Off-waves!! Off-Waves, Off-Waves!!" Tabuu continued like this until I became very irritated.
"OK, YOU CAN USE THE FREAKING OFF-WAVES, NOW WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!" I then came to realization on what I had said, and Tabuu's face quickly changed into a wide grin.
"Yay, Uncle Master Hand let me use the Off-Waves! I love butterflies! And now I can be one!" Tabuu grew butterfly shaped wings from behind his back, I simply watched in horror.
"Wait, Tabuu, stop!" I frantically yelled. "I didn't mean it…!"
"Too late!!" Tabuu said childishly as he unleashed three powerful sonic waves that instantly turned Crazy Hand and I into trophies.
'Tabuu…' I told him mentally.
"Yes?" He squealed childishly and happily.
'I… hate you…' I muttered. Tabuu giggled.
"You're just joking, I know Uncle Master Hand loves me! Well, I'm going to go play with Duon and Galleom, Bai bai neh…" Tabuu giggled some more as he flew off.
'Wait Tabuu, turn me back to normal… Aw shit… he can't hear me… Well… I guess I should call for help…' I sighed mentally… and that was when I sent you the mental message…
Flashback end
"Wow… that sucks for you…" Kirby said. "Glad I came in time…"
"Yeah good, thing…" Master Hand sighed. "Anyways, I should go after Tabuu, before he Off-Waves anyone else… Oh yeah, I need to reward you for helping me out… What do you want?"
Kirby's demeanor suddenly turned from calm and serious to a strange, goofy face of a six-year old. "Anything… you ask? I WANT CANDEH!! GIMME CANDEH!!" Kirby said in a sugar high voice, jumping up and down energetically. Master Hand sweatdropped.
"Uh ok…" Master Hand said, dropping a large pile of candy out of nowhere. Kirby jumped into the pile of heavenly candy.
"MINE, IT'S ALL MINE!!" Kirby said, swimming happily in the pool of candy while eating the candy, Smarties, Laffy Taffies, Hersheys galore. Master Hand sighed and left Kirby to swim in mountain of wonderful candy.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
"This is just great…" A blue-haired swordsmen said.
The blue-haired swordsmen sighed as he heaved his massive, double edged sword on his shoulder. He was currently in a Brawl with Bowser, a character slightly higher than he was in the Tier List. His opponent had just received the power of the Smash Ball and became Giga Bowser, and both of them were on their last life. Ike sighed as he prepared to battle the giant beast.
"It's over, Ike!" Bowser grinned. "Like this, I can't flinch! Even with Ragnell's might, it's impossible to knock me off the stage."
Ike grinned. "We'll see…" He then dashed in with a Quick Draw and followed with an Aether. Bowser didn't even flinch from the combo attack and unleashed a shadowy punch with his fist. Ike cringed as he was sent flying. Ike recovered and used Quick Draw to get back to the stage.
'So much for that…' Ike thought. 'Time for plan B…'
Bowser dashed in at incredible speed. Ike raised his sword for a side smash. He was making the riskiest move ever… If Giga Bowser didn't change back, he would take the attack and lose… but if the transformation ended, his side smash would send him off the stage.
"It's over, Ike!" Bowser roared. "I wi-" Before he could attack, Bowser's Final Smash had ended, turning him back into Bowser.
"Aw shi-" Bowser began. Ike grinned as he slammed his sword down hard and sent Bowser flying off the stage. Ike heard Master Hand say "Game!!"
"The winner is… Ike!" Master Hand boomed. Bowser was in the back, grumbling to himself angrily.
"I fight for my friends…" Ike said, thrusting his sword on the floor. Ness and Lucas came in.
"Your friends suck…" Lucas said in an annoying voice. A vein popped on Ike's head.
"What did you say?" Ike growled angrily.
"You heard us…" Ness said annoyingly. "Your friends su-"
Ike didn't hear anymore. He slammed the two obnoxious boys into the air with his flaming sword.
"Great… Aether!!" Ike shouted, barraging the two obnoxious brats with powerful slashes and kicks. Finally he sent them flying with his final blow. He then groaned. Some thing worse than Ness and Lucas came in…
Fan girls…
The fan girls squealed "Ike, I love you!" or "Ike, marry me!" Among them was a blue-haired swordsman with slick hair. Ike whimpered silently to himself.
"Hi, Ikey poo!" The swordsman said, giggling. "Nice match you had! I'm so glad you won!" Ike's eye twitched.
"Hey, Marth…" Ike said meekly. "I gotta get outta here…" Marth grabbed his shoulder.
"Why don't you stay with my gal pals and me?" Marth pouted. "Do you hate us that much?" Ike's eye twitched even more. Just then, a swift figure with angel wings carried Ike away. The fan girls, and Marth suddenly became an angry mob.
"That guy is kidnapping our Ikey poo!" Marth growled. "Get him!"
"Yeesh… tough crowd…" The angelic brunette said, rolling his eyes. Ike was crying with tears of relief.
"God… Thanks for the save, Pit…" Ike said. Pit smiled, his eyes sparkling.
"No problem Ike-sama!" He said in a sweet voice. "That bully Bowser was bothering me! But you beat him up for me… It's only natural I repay the favor!"
"One problem though…" Ike said.
"What?" Pit asked, cocking his head.
"Exactly how are you suddenly able to carry me so easily when I'm a part of the heavy class?" Ike asked. Pit's face suddenly looked grim.
"Good question…" Pit said. Suddenly the two began plummeting towards the floor.
"This suuuuuuuuuuucks…" Ike groaned as he headed toward the ground.
"All troops, move out!" Pit shouted, calling on his Centurions pals. Hordes of small warriors came in flying in and carried Pit and Ike to safety. Ike sighed with relief.
"Nice… save… Pit…" Ike said, his adrenaline pumping like mad. Pit smiled.
"So where to Ike-sama?" Pit asked. Ike sighed.
"I guess we'd better get back to the Smash Manor…" Ike said. "Master Hand doesn't like to be kept waiting…" Pit nodded and ordered his Centurions to fly to Smash Manor.
Smash Manor
Smash Manor was a huge mansion run by Master Hand himself. All the characters from Brawl rested here when the day was over. There were four floors, divided by the tiers, the Top Tier floor, the High Tier floor, the Middle Tier floor, and finally the Low Tier floor.
Fighters were placed in their rooms according to their ranking in the Grand Tier Tournament, a huge tournament which decided who would go in which room. The Top Tiers were the leaders of Brawl and the top fighters. Among them were R.O.B, Falco, Mr. Game and Watch, King DeDeDe, Snake, and finally, the best fighter in Brawl, Meta Knight. The High Tiers weren't as good as the Top Tiers, but still were highly respected. Ike was a part of the Middle Tier, they were well balanced fighters that were not overly skilled at fighting, but weren't so horrible that they lose instantly. The Low Tiers were the worst fighters in Brawl. They never even got past the preliminaries of the tournament. Ike's eye couldn't stop twitching when he saw that Marth was one of the High Tiers.
"No matter how many times I see the Tier List, I can't believe that that gay bastard is one of the High Tiers…" Ike said, his eye twitching in disgust.
"Well, besides being a gay creep," Pit began. "Marth is a very talented Brawler, even reaching the semi-finals before losing to R.O.B in the tournament… But what I don't understand is that you can easily get up to Top Tier if you tried hard enough… So why don't you try?"
Ike heaved Ragnell over his shoulder. "Cause I fight for my friends…"
Pit glomped Ike affectionately. "You're so cool!! I wish to be as cool as you!!" Pit squealed, his eyes sparkling with affection. Ike sweatdropped.
"You're ten tiers higher than me…" Ike stated. "There are plenty of guys cooler than I am, like Meta Knight…"
Pit looked thoughtful. "Mmmm… Meta Knight is too serious… Ike-sama will always be my idol!! Tiers don't matter to me! Ike-sama will always be my number 1." Pit said once again glomping Ike affectionately. Ike sweatdropped. Ike then heard yelling in the distant.
"What the hell were you thinking?" A teenage girl dressed in an elegant dress asked a slightly older boy, who dressed in green. "Going up against Wario, a High Tier, when you're second from the bottom? You could've gotten hurt!"
"Yeah? Well it wasn't as bad as Captain Falcon." The blond boy retorted angrily. "He's the lowest tier, and he went up against Meta Knight! I'm not so insane that I would go up against someone like him. Besides, he was asking for it… Farting in front of the lower tiers while they weren't looking… I needed to give him a piece of my mind!"
"Yeah, and you completely embarrassed yourself…" The girl stated matter-of factly. Just as the blond boy was about to retort back, he and the girl noticed Pit and Ike, watching them arguing.
"Oh, hi, Pit!" The girl said. "You've grown a lot since I last saw you at the tournament."
"Hi, Zelda!!" Pit said cheerily, glomping her affectionately. "It's been so long since the Grand Tier Tournament!"
Zelda smiled. "Still energetic as usual I see…"
"Sup, Link!" Ike grinned.
"Yo!" Link grinned back, giving Ike a series of high fives in the form of a secret handshake. "Are things going ok between you and Zelda?"
"Does it look like its going ok?" Link asked, his eyes flashing at her. Zelda's eyes flashed angrily back at him. Ike and Pit sweatdropped.
"I… see…" Ike said. Just then, Marth came in.
"IKEY POOOOOOOOOO!!" Marth said, running as fast as he could.
"Shit! I really gotta get outta here! Good luck with your relationship, and c'ya!" With that, Ike and Pit dashed as fast as they could. Link and Zelda sweatdropping.
"Poor Ike…" Link said, sweatdropping. "I would hate being in his situation… being chased by that gay bastard…"
Zelda smacked Link on the shoulder. "Respect the higher tiers! Even though he's a bit creepy, Marth's actually a great guy! I should know, Peach and I had tea with him once…"
"And you didn't invite me?" Link growled. "I like tea, too, you know! You should know that! We've been dating for five years!"
"Are you implying that something is going on between us? First of all, he's infatuated with Ike right now! Second of all, you know me just as much! Besides, Marth is gay, he's not interested in girls! We're just friends!"
"That's what he wants you to think…" Link grumbled.
"Why are you so negative all the time?" Zelda asked. "Did you get hit by Luigi's Negative Zone or something?"
"And why are you nagging on me all the time?" Link retorted back. "I'm doing my best to keep our relationship intact, and you're on my case 24/7!"
"Ugh, that's it, I had enough!" Zelda Side-Smashed Link out of pure rage. Link felt the magical spell course through his body. Zelda realized what she was doing and released her spell.
"Oh, my God…" Zelda said worriedly. "Are you ok?"
"Do I look okay?" Link squeaked. "My head hurts like hell, no thanks to you! And why are you so big all the sudden?"
"Uh, Link, I didn't grow… You shrank…" Link raised an eyebrow.
"What are you talking abo-" Link began. Then Zelda took out a mirror, showing his reflection. His eyes widened in horror. He no longer looked like his teenager self. Replacing him was a chibi-sized version of him with cat-shaped eyes.
"HOLY SHIT!!" He yelled in his squeaky voice. His yell filled the mansion up, getting the attention of everyone in Smash Manor.
Me: What did I tell you… Random, eh?
Ike: … this was… a bit too random… and Marth creeps me out… I liked him better when he was Puerto Rican…
Marth (from Three Swordsmen Adventure): PUERTO RICO!!
Pit: IKE-SAMA!!
-Ike gets glomped-
Kirby: CANDEH!!
Tabuu: OFF-WAVES!!
Marth: IKEY POO!!
Ike: SHIT!!
Link: IMMA FREAKING MIDGET!! TURN ME BACK!!
Me: I can't, even if I wanted to…
Link (Toon Link…): I… guess so…
Anyways, hope you enjoyed the first hilariously random chapter of Tier Terrors. Look forward to more soon! And don't do drugs, unless you want to be like Crazy Hand…
Crazy Hand: COCAINE!!
Honou
e