An interview with Darth Gravid, Dark Lord of the Sith
(Approx. 595 BBY - 552 BBY)
INTERVIEWER - Hello, Lord Gravid. May I please have an interview with you?
DARTH GRAVID - For what purpose? What is it that you need to know about me?
INTERVIEWER - Not much is currently known about your reign as dark lord. For example,
why did you attempt to incorporate some jedi philosophy into your sith teachings? Both the
jedi and sith have opposite views on the force.
DARTH GRAVID - The jedi and sith are similar in some ways. Do not forget that the sith order
was once a part of the jedi order. Ajunta Pall, considered by many to be the first dark lord, was
once a powerful jedi master. Both jedi and sith alike desire the same goals; peace, justice and
security for the galaxy. Our methods to achieve these goals are somewhat different. The jedi
want democracy, while the sith seek control. The way in which each side views the force is different.
INTERVIEWER - According to the "rule of two" as first ordained by the legendary dark lord Darth Bane,
a sith apprentice is to wrestle the mantle of dark lord from their master by fighting, and killing them.
And yet you were given the title of dark lord by your master. Why did you never fight and kill him?
DARTH GRAVID - Because I never felt the need to. If there is no reason to kill, then why kill? We sith
are no longer butchers, like in times past. My master promoted me to the position of dark lord, and then
retired to live the rest of his life surrounded by loving family and friends. I wish him all my best.
INTERVIEWER - But doesn't that violate the rule of two?
DARTH GRAVID - Not really. The rule of two is meant to serve as a guideline, so that the sith never again
fall into the traps of previous generations of sith, like they did under Lord Kaan and his Brotherhood of Idiots.
With only one master and one apprentice, that will never happen again.
INTERVIEWER - Do you ever travel? Every play tourist and go sightseeing?
DARTH GRAVID - No time nor need to. Jaguada has everything which I require.
INTERVIEWER - Do you enjoy any favourite foods?
DARTH GRAVID - Anything that has been deep fried. And hard boiled eggs. Most species of birds and reptiles
lay eggs. Put a little honey mustard on them, and they taste great. You really should try them.
INTERVIEWER - That sounds delicious. Do you enjoy any hobbies or pastimes?
DARTH GRAVID - I do a little gardening. A few years ago, in the outer rim territories, I came across a hybrid
plant, a cross between a meat flower from Dagobah, and a coma-bloom from Sojourn. It smells like death itself.
The perfect flower for a dark lord.
INTERVIEWER - What is the stupidest thing that you've ever done, if I may ask?
DARTH GRAVID - When I was ten years old, on a visit to Dathomir, I once ate an egg from a Dathomiri rock dragon.
I was severely sick for almost three months. At one point, for over 40 minutes, I was clinically deceased.
INTERVIEWER - Is the glass half full, or half empty?
DARTH GRAVID - I never use glass. I breaks very easily.
INTERVIEWER - Is there any advise that you would give to future generations of sith?
DARTH GRAVID - Two things. 1) Never eat unknown eggs. 2) Never underestimate the jedi ability to be annoying bastards.
INTERVIEWER - Thank you kindly, my lord for your time.