This is my first uploaded story, but not my first story. Oh God. The memories of the horribly written NaruHina fics... *dies*
Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater! I only own the idea to make this story. If I owned Soul Eater, I would've made Death the Kid shoot Spirit. Seeing as that hasn't happened yet, do you believe me?
:~SE~:
Maka hated April Fools Day because Soul would always pull some humongous prank on her. She would end up cleaning the mess, or cleaning up herself, and never got to pulling a prank on him.
She was trying to come up with the perfect prank when the hospital called, concerning her physical she had gotten the day before…
………………April Fool's Day………………...
Spirit was ecstatic. Why, you ask? His little Maka-chan wanted him to come over and talk! He was skipping merrily down the sidewalk to go see his daughter at her apartment. For some reason, he was singing an altered Barney theme… repetitively.
"I love Maka! She loves me! We're a happy family! With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you! Won't you say you love me, too?" Spirit was picking up unfortunate civilians off the street and swinging them around, then throwing them into random directions. People who saw the queer father were mentally scarred, knowing that their lives would never be the same after that terrifying moment.
When he finally arrived, Maka was waiting outside of her apartment with a worried look on her face, probably concerned for her father's well-being.
"You wanted to talk to me Maka-chaaaaan?" Spirit asked with a lovey-dovey tone. "Papa, it's important."
Spirit lost the happy-go-lucky attitude and became serious. "What is it Maka?" He asked in a more serious, fatherlike tone. Maka sighed. "Well… just promise that you won't get mad." He nodded and held out his pinky finger to her. She grabbed it with her own pinky finger. "Promise," Spirit swore.
"Papa I'm… well…" She held up a black and white picture. Spirit took one glance at it and knew exactly what it was.
…
…
…
…
Maka's father was as white as a ghost. He was trying not to get mad, but it was rather difficult, so he asked, "Who's…?" Maka replied, "Soul-kun." For some reason that made Spirit even more upset. He had trusted Soul not to do anything to his daughter.
With anger rising inside him, he asked, "Where is he?" Maka looked at him hard. "I want to… talk… with him."
Maka sighed in relief. "Soul-kun doesn't know yet. He's at Shibusen, probably talking about his man-issues with Black St--" before she could finish, he had run off. "Papa! Wait!" It was too late- he was over the hill. She ran after him.
………………………………
Soul and Black Star were sitting on the ground, their backs leaning against Shibusen, having some sort of interesting man-conversation.
"…and then Tsubaki hit me right in the forehead with a shuriken!" Black Star ranted. Soul grunted in a knowing way and said, "Damn strait. I hate how abusive girls can be towards us cool guys. Kid's lucky that he the man in his partnership."
Black Star gave Soul a look that said, 'You're kidding me right? Kid… the man… in any type of relationship.'
Soul replied to Black Star's look, "Err… yeah your right. I guess that the gay guys are the ones that never get hit." Black Star nodded in agreement.
"We should try being gay sometime!"
There was a silence. They were staring at each other. Black Star started leaning towards Soul.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?" Soul shouted as he quickly scooted away from Black Star. Black Star quickly shot back, "What are ya? A homophobe?" Soul shook his head in disagreement. "No… I'm a 'sexually-interacting-with-men-besides-hugs'… ophobe."
He went into a fetal position, rocking back and forth saying, "I'm cool… I'm cool… Not gay… But very happy…"
While Soul was in his hypnosis, Black Star saw something coming over the horizon. "Huh?" He squinted, but still couldn't make out what it was, so he stood up.
Coming right towards them was an infuriated Spirit. "Uh… Soul?" Soul looked up warily and responded, "What?"
Black Star pointed at the death scythe that was getting closer and closer and closer. Soul gazed to were he pointed. Spirit's arms transformed into scythe as he approached the two. Both of the boy's eyes were big with fear. "Crap," they said in unison, and then jumped out of the way as Spirit's arms dug into the side of the school. When he pulled them out, there were two large craters in the side of Shibusen.
Somewhere, Kid sneezed, knowing that something somewhere was now unsymmetrical, sending him into panic.
"Hey pops? What's the deal?!" Soul yelled at the man. Spirit ran towards him with killing intent. "Shit," Soul mumbled to himself before transforming his right arm in a scythe in time to block an attack. The fight went on; metal clashed with metal, making loud "clinks".
Blow after blow, Spirit wasn't even scathed, but Soul had some nicks. Soul countered one of the attacks and pushed off of it to give himself some distance from the crazy father. "Seriously pops! Why are you attacking me?!" Soul yelled.
Spirit was shivering with anger, his head down. Then he looked up and shouted:
"MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER IS PREGNANT BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!" Soul stumbled back and fell to the ground. "WH-at?" Soul's voice slurred. "Dude!" Black Star said, just as surprised. 'I thought that "doing it"with Maka was just a dream,' Soul thought in fear and surprise.
Out of instinct Soul yelled, "No way! Cool guys don't get the girl pregnant!!! The frikin' condom must've broke!" That was a dumb thing to say…
"ADMITTING TO IT?!?!? DIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!"
Black Star was pretty sure that he had heard enough, and ran home.
Spirit ran towards Soul and was going to do a vice grip on him when…
"PAPA!" Maka yelled. The death scythe stopped in his tracks and turned to look at his daughter. Spirit started to go over to Maka, but Soul beat him to it. He grabbed her shoulders. "Maka, are you really pregnant?" She didn't look at him. He grabbed her chin so that she would look at him. As he looked down into her eyes she whispered:
"April Fools, Soul." Looking extremely pissed off, Soul leaned over next to her ear and whispered, "Don't think this is over. I'll get you yet."
With that said, Soul ran over to his motorcycle and drove off.
Her Papa, now completely confused, asked, "What the…?" Maka replied, "Papa… Do you have a calendar? It's April Fools Day." "Oh….," Spirit said. With his head hung low, Spirit walked home. He really, really wanted to kill Soul, even if Soul didn't do anything to his Maka-chan.
Maka sighed. Then she suddenly froze. She looked around. "Crap. Now I have to walk ALL the way down the hill!!" Maka madly exclaimed and stiffened her shoulders in frustration as she began her downhill journey.
………………Evan and Albarn Residence………………...
As soon as Maka walked in, a bucket of chocolate syrup fell on her, and when she went to take a shower, instead of shampoo, it was caramel. When she got out of the bathroom to go yell at Soul, a bucket of week old milk fell on her. Also, when she opened Soul's door, a bucket of honey fell on her, followed by Soul throwing some peanuts, that he was eating, at her in a childish manner.
That night, Soul slept over at Black Star's house, and poor Soul had to convince Black Star that Maka wasn't pregnant, and the whole talk about the condom was in a dream.
MEANWHILE… Maka's mother was wondering where her ultra-sound picture of Maka was.
AND…Death the Kid was collapsed on the ground with blood spurting out of his mouth from the sight of Shibusen. Patti was laughing at his pain while Liz was calling a carpenter.
ALSO... While Patti was laughing, she was thinking about how she would spend the money that Maka gave her to get Kami's ultrasound picture.
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER! …EXCEPT ON APRIL FOOL'S DAY! …AND ON MAKA'S TIME OF THE MONTH!
I'd very much like reviews. Yes I would! 3 Alas, I have nothing to give you if you review... *sob*