This is a one shot and sequel to "Faithless". This is set after the episode "House of the Holy" It deals with religion, and is not intended to offend or convert anyone. This is in Dean's POV Enjoy. Reviews are much appreciated
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Faithful
Give Me Something To Believe In
-------------------------------------------
God's Will. That's not something you see everyday. Heck, it wasn't even something I believed in. God, angels, Jesus --- were all just myths to me. Jesus was a lunatic, God was a lie, and nobody is an angel. I was an athiest or agnostic, I guess you could say. I lived my life of sex, drugs, rock n' roll, and kicking demons ass. I never bothered to question: where did this evil come from?
So, here I am: Motel Starlight, reading an old Bible I found in the drawer. I thought places like this stopped leaving Bible's around, but this place is pretty old and I guess their traditions are too. I opened up to Genesis, but it sounded too much like Greek mythology. I flipped over to the infamous Revelations, and it really caught my attention. Was this or will this be the world I am living in? Is there hope? Will there be no evil one day?
As I read the words in red, I realized something. Jesus wasn't just a bumper sticker, he wasn't just a man who loves everyone; He was firm and a leader. He doesn't sugar coat anything.
I read even more throughout the night. One verse caught my attention: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life" I thought of my dad after reading that. Where was he? In Hell, a little voice in my head told me. I didn't want to believe it, though. And I knew if I kept living my lifestyle, that's where I would soon be.
I heard Sam stirring and starting to wake up, so I quickly hid the Bible away. I honestly don't know why. I suppose I felt naked, ashamed, wrong with it. I knew Sam would be thrilled to see me actually reading God's Word without laughing. I didn't want him to be thrilled. I don't know what I want, actually.
Before Sam awoke, I squeezed in a prayer to God. Help me, Man. I don't want to live this way, but it's all I know. I know you require a lot to be "saved" or whatever it is. I gotta say, I don't know if I can do the whole avoiding sex until I'm married. I don't think I can do a lot of that stuff. Dude, I guess what I'm saying is, can you help me? They say you can make my path straight; so please, before I could continue my prayer, Sam said something.
"Huh?" I turned over to him.
"I asked if you wanted me to get you some food? I'm starving."
"Uh, sure."
Sam started to get up and threw on his sweater. He was already in his pants. Then he grabbed his wallet. "Oh, by the way, Dean," Sam said, "You should check out Psalms and Proverbs."
I didn't know what Sam meant until ten minutes after he left. I didn't even realize he was referring to the Bible until I remembered what Psalms and Proverbs was. I grabbed the Bible and began reading a few passages in there. I found myself filling with hope and potential happiness.
When it was time to leave for a new gig, I bought a Bible at a small bookstore. I found my way to Paul one night, and read about the struggles of the flesh I'm not alone, I thought, even back in the Biblical days...people struggled. It was then I prayed more seriously. It was then I found faith, and turned my life over to God.
I began thinking of the first time I really prayed. It was after I met Layla. I miss her. I wonder if she knows that I'm reading the Bible. I wonder where she is. I wonder if she'd be happy. I wonder if I'll ever see her again.
THE END.