I lay on the table, every inch of my body in pain greater than I had ever felt. But somehow, all I could think about was the life inside of me.
"Get it out!" I screamed- I needed to be heard through all the commotion.
I looked into Edward's face; this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Carlisle wasn't here. When I looked into Edward's eyes, I saw what I already knew being reflected back at me. He couldn't guarantee my safety; my life- and that scared him.
I'd been faced with death so many times in the past couple of years that it was almost nothing new. But this time, it was the one I loved that was killing me. My child- Edward's child, trying to escape. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me- he was just so strong. I could feel my ribs cracking, but I just yelled again-
"Edward, he's suffocating! Get.Him.Out!"
I saw the look on Jacob's face when he realized that I didn't care about saving myself. It was a look of disgust, of contempt for the creature that was doing this to me.
Someone bent down- I couldn't tell who- and sliced my stomach open. It felt cold, like there was ice cold rain pouring out of my stomach by the gallon. I gasped at the sensations and squeezed my eyes shut.
I felt the child being pulled out of me, taking my life force with it. As soon as the child was free, I let go. I heard Jacob suck in a breath, sharp and quick. Why? Had I died? In all of the chaos I couldn't tell what was real or imagined.
Then I felt something sharp pierce the skin above my heart, and I knew I was still alive. I could smell Edward's sweet breath, taste it on my tongue. I opened my eyes just enough to see Edward bent over my wrist. I turned my head and saw Rose holding our child.
For that moment, everything went still. The commotion froze, the chaos was quiet. Our child, Edward's and mine- a girl, I thought.
I felt the fire filling my veins then. It seemed to have no starting point, and it spread like wildfire. I looked into Edward's eyes, then surrendered myself to the flames.
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The next thing I remember was voices. It was Carlisle and Edward. I tried to speak, to let them know I could hear them, but my throat was still burning. And then, a firework seemed to shoot straight into my heart- my heart sped up, faster than it ever had. It was going to burst though my chest, I was sure of it. With one last flame and a burst of ice, the beating stopped.
XXXXX
When I opened my eyes, everything looked different. My mind was hazy, but my vision had never been so clear. Everything was too sharp, too defined. I heard someone shift on the couch downstairs- I could hear them breathing. That's when I realized what had happened.
I was one of them.
I sat up with a jolt, surprised at how fast I could move. Normally the motion would have made me dizzy- but not now. I looked around the room at my family, and it was like seeing them for the first time. How couldn't I have realized what they were the first time I saw them? Were human eyes really that imperceptive?
I saw Rose, her face blank. Her hair was even brighter, and she was more beautiful than I ever knew was possible. Emmett was next to her, his face amused. He was grinning happily, his arms crossed. He turned to his left to look at his brother, and my eyes followed. Jasper looked hesitant as he turned to Alice for guidance. She was beaming, the bright lights radiating off of her skin. Her hands were clasped in the classic pose of sheer excitement- I had to suppress giggles. She had known from the beginning that this would happen, and she finally had her wish. No one ever bets against Alice.
Next to her stood Esme. Her warm gaze was even more welcoming than the first time I ever saw it. Had it really only been two years ago? The memories seemed so far away. She held Carlisle's hand, his other arm folded across his chest. The only way to describe his expression was proud. Carlisle was proud.
I saved Edward for last, knowing he would still make my breath hitch. The anticipation made me giddy with excitement. As soon as I saw him, I gasped. He was even more beautiful now. He stood with his hands tucked into his pockets, awaiting my reaction. I looked into his eyes and felt a spark deep inside of me that was all new. If I could have blushed, I would have. I could almost feel my heart speeding up just like it used to. I wanted to run into his arms and test my new, indestructible body. My passion for him seemed to grow stronger along with my body and mind.
He smiled as he slowly reached his hand out to me. I walked towards him, shocked by my grace. That would certainly take some getting used to. He reached his other hand forward and stroked my face, across my cheek and down my jaw line. His skin was no longer cold to the touch, and it startled me to realize that he still gave me butterflies. I looked into his eyes, realizing for the first time that someone very important was missing from the room. My child- where was my daughter? Panic set in, intensified with my new range of emotion and perception.
"Edward."
My voice sounded like a wind chime at the perfect pitch.
"Yes?"
"We have a child."
He nodded, a smile of genuine affection spreading across his face. I could tell he was unable to stop it.
"Where is she?"
His smile turned secretive; he was trying not to laugh. I could tell I was missing out on a secret.
"She's downstairs with Jacob." He paused. "See if you can hear."
I froze and tried to hear downstairs. I found two heartbeats easily, though they were beating at different rates. I breathed in through my nose- no longer a necessity, but a habit. I could smell Jacob- and I couldn't suppress my laughter. It was an airy sound, musical. He really did smell bad; I wrinkled my nose at his scent, but let it relax when I caught a new scent. It smelled like Edward, but mixed with… strawberries. It was her, I knew it was.
I looked right at Edward and said, "I want to see my daughter."
I watched him as he looked at Jasper, not sure how to reply. Jasper spoke slowly, carefully.
"I don't know if she's ready… I can't feel anything new, but…"
I realized that they thought I would hurt my daughter- my own flesh, my own blood.
Carlisle cut off my train of thought and Jasper's sentence. "Edward will take her hunting first. She's ready. Just look at her."
Everyone did look at me. I felt like I was in a circus or on display at a wax museum. Edward spoke then. His voice was low, but I knew we could all hear it. He kept his eyes on me as he said,
"She's even more beautiful than before."
I felt the memory of a blush sweep across my cheeks.
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I felt refreshed like I never knew I could. I had speed and agility- I'd never run without falling before. The whole time I kept speeding up; I was faster than Edward. I needed to see my daughter.
"What's she like? Describe her to me."
Edward didn't need to read my mind to know who I was talking about. He stopped running and I followed suit. He took my hand, his eyes lighting up, and said,
"She's like nothing else in the world."
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Although the journey home only took a few seconds, it was agonizingly long. Every bone in my body ached to meet my daughter. I had an itch that wouldn't stop, no matter what I did. I had no memory of her; my pain had clouded everything. I tried to remember a time that I needed something so badly. My need to hold my daughter surpassed every need I had ever felt. The hole in my chest when Edward was in Italy was nothing compared to the ache I felt now.
Edward opened the front door to find Jacob sitting on the couch and Rose in the corner, her back to us. Edward looked at me and asked me if I was ready. I merely nodded; I was at a loss for words. What words were there to convey how badly I needed this?
The rest of my family filed into the room, no doubt hearing Edward's question. Once the family had assembled, Edward gave Rose a nod. She walked towards me silently, holding my child in her arms.
The instant I saw her, my memory flooded back to me. I remembered lying on the table, thrashing in pain. But everything had grown slow and peaceful when I saw my daughter in Rose's arms and I knew she was safe. The calm from the memory washed over me now and made me even more eager to meet my child.
"I want to hold her."
Rose looked to Jasper, then to Edward. Jasper nodded that it was okay as Edward spoke.
"She has a way of communicating. It's impossible to describe- just let her show you."
As if she knew what Edward was saying, our daughter pressed her hand to Rose's cheek. Rose closed her eyes, concentrating on something I couldn't see.
"She wants to show you," she whispered.
I held my arms out to her, my child. She climbed from Rose's arms to mine with ease and grace. Her skin was warm to the touch, and I knew mine probably felt cold to her. I studied her face and noticed for the time how old she looked. Wasn't she only a few days old? She already had hair that fell in curled locks down to her shoulders. I noticed it was Edward's hair, and she had his mouth, too. She looked more like a young toddler than a newly born infant.
And then, I looked into her eyes. They were my eyes, big and brown. They were understanding and knowledgeable, full of depth and secrets. A spark lit inside me- I'd never felt so complete. There was no denying that she was my child.
She pressed her left hand to my cheek then, and I gasped. I was seeing myself- sweaty, bruised and bloody. I flinched at the image- the picture was so clear, it was like traveling back in time or looking into a mirror. Then she showed me myself now, pale with crimson eyes. I smiled as I realized that she still knew who I was- that I was the same person as the bruised and battered girl from her memory. Her mother.
She took her hand off my cheek and leaned into my neck, closing her eyes. Edward put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed. I was holding my daughter. I'd escaped death yet again, and I'd saved her- the one I love, my daughter. I needed to repeat it to myself to believe that it was real. I was a mother and a wife, I had a family. I felt like my heart was racing, though I knew it wasn't. I felt like every vein in my body was a livewire, the sparks filling up my body. I looked at Edward as I rubbed our daughter's back- Jacob and the rest of the Cullens had gone into the next room; I could hear them shuffling around. Edward leaned in and kissed my cheek while we watched our daughter sleep in my arms.
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After some time of watching her sleep, I had memorized her completely. I knew every contour of her body and every line in her face. Her palm was pressed to my neck, and I could see her dreams. They were happy dreams, filled with my face and Edward's.
She needed a name, one that suits her. Everything about her was special; her name should be no different. I looked at Edward, who was still watching her dream. She would be named after Edward, the one thing that I loved as much as her. But what feminine name could I get from Edward?
I heard Alice gasp from the dining room. I recognized the gasp as the signal that she had had a vision. As I realized this, a name floated into my head.
"Renesmée." Alice and I breathed the name in unison. Of course, she would be named after her grandmothers. A name so unique that everyone would know how much she was loved as soon as they heard it. Her middle name would have to be the same, then. For Charlie and Carlisle, her grandfathers… Carlie.
Renesmée Carlie Cullen.
She was dreaming of Edward and I now. She showed me a memory of him and I looking at each other, our eyes twinkling. She saw what everyone could see- we were happy.
I looked down at my child. No matter how many times I saw her, she still took my breath away. I kissed her soft hair, softer than down, and then whispered, the sound a melody as beautiful as her,
"Renesmée."
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