Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't own the the characters, the plot, or Degrassi. If I had a mind as creative as that then I wouldn't be wasting my time writing fanfiction. :)

Author's Note: So, this is my third attempt at a Degrassi fanfic. I am thinking of maybe turning this into a multi-chapter story as I have many ideas as to where this story-line can go! If I get positive feedback, I will probably update his and let my muse take me wherever it may. This was written at 1:00 AM so please excuse the roughness around the edges!

CHAPTER ONE

BETWEEN THE DRINKS AND SUBTLE THINGS

"Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart..."

"Clare."

Eli looked like a deer caught in the headlights as he whispered her name, staring at his former girlfriend, who was coincidentally frequenting the same party as him. Sure, they had a handful of mutual friends, but this was the absolute last place he had ever thought he would see Clare Edwards. It just wasn't her kind of scene. In fact, it wasn't even really his kind of scene. It was reckless, dangerous and inappropriate for him to be there, never mind her.

Clare didn't seem to notice Eli's existence, or acknowledge the presence of the crowd of strangers surrounding her. Her mind was occupied with many other things, which led her into this part of the city to begin with. She had heard rumors of these kinds of parties, these underground hideouts where teenagers and college students co-mingled and excessively used harmful substances. She needed this. She needed this kind of atmosphere to make her forget about her fractured family, her recent step-brother who was a former almost-lover and her mother's new life which seemed to flow perfectly if Clare herself was left out of the equation.

That was why she had left to go live with that girl, the stranger, the one whom she trusted even though she knew she shouldn't. Clare needed to believe in people again, to believe that there was still good people who helped those in need.

Eli thought about going over to Clare and approaching her head-on, to make a later run-in less awkward. He thought better of it. She probably didn't want anyone to know she was there as much as he didn't want anyone to recognize him. Instead, he walked over to the makeshift bar area and grabbed a beer from one of the coolers. He cracked it open with a deafening "snap" and greedily swallowed the foul tasting liquid.

He needed this scene to feel something again. Sure, he was doing a lot better now that he was in therapy and on medication that seemed to balance his mood swings. Eli just felt like something was missing in his life still. No matter how much medicine they shoved in his direction, or how many professionals he spoke with, Eli felt like there was a black hole in his life, one he couldn't fulfill. It just seemed to be devouring him, consuming his life. His friends, Adam especially, were great. Even Fiona was helping him in ways he doubted she realized. Eli just needed this kind of place to be free, to feel something, to try to fill the void that was plaguing his life.

Clare accepted a red solo cup that was overflowing with a brown liquid. It smelled atrocious, a mixture of alcohol and spice. She brought the cup to her lips and sipped slowly, cautiously, waiting for the fluid to fill her mouth and touch her taste buds. It took a lot of effort to swallow, her gag reflexes working overtime as they tried to deny the liquor's entry into her body. This was Clare's first alcoholic beverage, ever. At sixteen she shouldn't have been drinking, especially to drown out her problems. She couldn't help it though. The immediate urge to drink until every problem in her life was diluted was unbearably overwhelming and too tempting for her to pass up.

Eli nodded in the direction of some people who would say hello as they passed by him. His eyes never left Clare, though. They tracked her every move. He watched as she drank one cup, and then moved on to another. Eli wondered, although briefly, if he was the cause of her pain, if she was drinking tonight because of ultimately something he did. Then he thought better and remembered that she had moved on, that she had her own life and her own boyfriend. The thought alone made him take another chug from his emptying beer can.

Clare was feeling good, a buzz warming her body from the inside out. Her head felt funny, fuzzy, but relaxed. For the first time in a long time she felt at peace, and it was an odd sensation. The worries she held were still there, but they were so dimmed that they seemed entirely unimportant. Her hips swayed to music that was only playing inside of her head and she didn't even blink an eye when a guy replaced her second drink with a third. In fact, she welcomed it, and drank from the cup as soon as it was placed in her hands.

"Hey there, Pretty Girl! What are you doing here all alone?"

A man, who looked a lot older than herself, stepped next to Clare, his pearly teeth flashing menacingly in her direction.

"Oh… Uh… I'm not alone. My friend's just… in the… bathroom?" Clare winced as the last few words came out as more of a question, but was too drunk to catch herself.

"The bathroom, eh? What do you think about joining her in there? The three of us…" The man placed a dirty hand on her shoulder and leaned in to kiss Clare, but she was pulling away, shaking her head.

"Oh, no, I… I can't. My boyfriend's just... he's getting me a drink. He'll be back soon," Clare stuttered, one hand trying to push the intruder away while the other rested against the wall, as she tried to steady herself.

"Well what your little boyfriend doesn't know won't hurt him now, will it?" The man cornered her, his larger frame holding her smaller one hostage against the wall. There was no way for her to escape. Clare panicked, her hands swatting at him in every direction.

"Please… just leave me alone…"

The man just chuckled as he leaned in and sloppily placed his lips on top of hers, crushing them, bruising them with the force.

"You heard her. Leave her alone."

At the sound of a male's voice, the man stopped, turning his attention to Eli, who stood there with narrowed eyes. Eli was prepared to fight. He wouldn't let anyone get away with harming Clare. Instead of being provoked, the man simply shook his head and walked away, unveiling Clare's trembling body.

"E... Eli?" Clare didn't know if the alcohol was playing tricks on her, making her delusional. It wasn't possible for Eli to be here, to be the one saving her from what could have been the worst experience of her life.

"Clare, what are you doing here?" Eli spat harshly, ignoring the fact that her heart was still beating a mile a minute and tears were storming down her cheeks.

"Eli…" Clare said again, softer, her head moving to rest against the wall. She wanted to run as far away from that place as she could. She wanted to get out of there so she never had to see that terrifying man again. She just couldn't get her legs to move. They felt like jelly. Her mouth felt like she had wads of cotton in her cheeks and the room felt like it was spinning faster than any merry-go-round she had ever been on.

"Jesus, Clare. This… This isn't you!" Eli hit his fist against his pant legs and shook his head. "You don't belong here. Get out. Go home."

Clare looked up at the familiar emerald eyes and hurt stabbed at her. He was telling her to get lost. He didn't even want her. Jake didn't want her. Her mother didn't want her. Her family didn't want her. Clare closed her eyes, and against her better judgment, reached for her drink, sitting on the edge of a milk carton box. She drank it quickly, her back turned to Eli, so she wouldn't have to look at another person who didn't need her.

"No. No, no, no!" Eli followed Clare's movements and wrapped his pale hand around the cup, pulling it out of her hands. "You've had more than enough, Clare."

"Eli, no, please…"

"Clare."

Her name was spoken so sternly, Clare stopped, her eyes meeting his. She felt sick to her stomach and her head felt so heavy. All of a sudden she was so tired and she wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and sleep for hours.

"Let's get you home."

"I... can't walk."

Eli rolled his eyes and placed his arm around Clare, supporting her, as the two of them made their way to the exit of the building. Once they were in the cooler air, Clare seemed to sober up a bit.

"I really don't feel well."

"You'll be okay. Probably not tomorrow though," Eli scoffed, a smirk rising on his face.

Clare simply nodded her head and allowed herself to be led to Eli's hearse. He opened the door for her and she clumsily climbed in, allowing him to buckle her seatbelt as if she were a toddler. Eli took his seat on the driver's side and started the car, starting the all too familiar journey back to Clare's house.

"Where you goin'?"

"To your house."

"I… I don't live there anymore."

Eli furrowed his eyebrow and glanced at Clare, wondering whether it was the truth or the alcohol that made her say what she did.

"Then… where do you live?"

"I don't know," Clare said softly, her head resting against the window. Her eyes fluttered shut and she was pleased to realize that this gesture made it feel like the world stopped spinning, at least for a second.

"Where should I take you then?"

Eli asked incredulously, but got no response. Clare's breathing had evened out and she was already passed out. Eli had no choice but to take her back to his home. CeCe and Bullfrog were gone camping for the weekend, which would make things slightly more tolerable. Still, seeing Clare, bringing her to his home, just made his heart hurt. He missed Clare, missed talking to her, joking around with her, being there for her. Eli missed her, even as just a friend. What were they now? Acquaintances? Enemies? Eli didn't really know. He just knew that even if she hated him, he would never let anything bad happen to her.

Eli pulled Morty into the driveway and carefully prodded Clare, to wake her up. Getting no response, Eli lifted her up and carried her inside of his house and into his bedroom, gently laying her down on top of his bed. She stirred slightly, and her unfocused eyes searched for his.

"The room's spinning."

Eli left the room for a moment before coming back in and handing Clare a bottle of water. "Drink that. It'll help."

"Do you promise? The room will stop?"

"Just close your eyes and try to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

Clare took a few gulps of water and tried to put the water down, but Eli gently pushed it back up to her mouth. "Drink all of it. You need to rehydrate."

She obliged and finished the water before laying back down on the bed. "Stay with me… Please?" Clare's voice was so little that Eli wasn't sure he had heard her correctly. It wouldn't be appropriate for him to lay down with Clare. They weren't even really on speaking terms in normal everyday circumstances. He was sure a sober Clare would be appalled at waking up in the morning with her crazy ex-boyfriend next to her.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. I'm going to take the couch."

"Please, E—" Before Clare could finish, she turned over the side of the bed, promptly throwing up on Eli's carpet, as her body rejected the alcohol she had poisoned it with previously.

Eli looked away, before his instinct kicked in and he pat Clare on the back. "Shh, Shh," he heard himself making the comforting sounds as he realized Clare was crying. She was more than crying, actually. Clare was bawling. Eli had never seen her so upset. Her body was shaking with tears and she barely got enough gasps in to get any oxygen.

"Clare, calm down. Please, you're going to make yourself sick again. Shh," Eli's arms wrapped themselves around Clare's shoulders and he rubbed them gently, pulling Clare into an upright position as he began to rock her frame. It was something his mother used to do when he was upset when he was a little boy, and it always calmed him down.

Clare's cries didn't die down any, but her small arms wrapped themselves around Eli and clung tightly, as if she never wanted to let go.

"Take a deep breath. I got you, Clare. You're okay," Eli whispered into her hair, closing his own eyes.

The traumatic experience with the man at the party, her home life, her drunken state, everything had gotten to Clare all at once. She felt like she was suffocating and her cries seemed involuntary. She felt like she had no control over her emotions as the tears kept flowing from her eyes. She did as Eli instructed and took a deep breath, which helped quiet her cries some. Before she knew it Eli was trying to shove another water bottle down her throat, and she sheepishly drank from it.

"Th-thank y-you," she stuttered as she wiped more tears off her cheek with the back of her hand.

"You don't have to thank me Clare. I care about you. I always will."

Clare smiled and sniffled, as Eli pulled back the bed covers and helped her get underneath them.

"Try and rest some, okay?"

"Please… please stay." Clare's eyes filled with tears again and Eli nodded his head to avoid another round of sobs.

"I'll sit here." Eli gestured to a seat next to his bed and he made his way to sit down.

"All night?"

"All night."

For the first time in awhile, Clare felt cared for and needed and most of all, protected. It didn't take long for her to drift into sleep.

As soon as her breathing evened out, Eli felt his own eyes well with tears. He honestly loved this girl with all his heart. Watching her like this killed him. Knowing that she was so close, but so far out of his reach from what they used to have, tore his heart in two. As she slept, Eli bent over her and placed a kiss onto the top of her forehead before kneeling down. One of his hands held onto one of hers and he rested his head on the bed beside her. He fell asleep, pretending that things were back to the way they used to be. He pretended that everything was once again perfect. And for a moment, before he fell into slumber, that blackhole that was plaguing him for months, seemed to have disappeared.

Reviews from wonderful readers like you would be much appreciated!

Tell me if you hate it, or if you liked it. I'd like to get feedback to know what direction to take this in. :)

xo Mur