Author's note: Hey all, haven't heard from me for a while, and….uh, well I really don't have an excuse for that. But I'm here now with a hopefully funny yet really strange fic. This was inspired by something I saw in Angel, can't remember what ep, but Cordy startled Fred similarly to this story, cept of course Fred didn't have a gun. If you don't find this funny, I understand, it is more than slightly weird. .
Disclaimer: I don't own Angel
Fred sat out in the garden of the Hyperion, she had only started coming out of her room a week ago, and she was still startled easily. For some reason she had a machine gun in her lap, where she got it from, no one will ever know.
She sat peacefully, taking in the sight and scent of the beautiful flowers. It was almost completely silent, the walls and shrubbery blocked most of the noise from the outside. So really, Cordelia had what was coming to her when she snuck up on Fred.
"Hi" said Cordelia. Fred, acting on reflex jumped up and shot Cordelia with the machine gun, she went down like a ton of bricks.
Fred stared in horror at Queen C's body, she didn't hear Gunn come in the gate to the garden. "Hey," he said. Fred was again startled and shot Gunn too. Angel was alerted by the second round of gun shots, he hadn't heard the first because he had been in the shower singing Don't Worry, Be Happy. He ran out into the garden with nothing but a fluffy yellow towel around his waist.
"Fred!" he yelled when he saw the bodies of Cordelia and Gunn, "What happened?!"
"They startled me and let out a war cry of 'Hiiii!'" Then she shot Angel too because she just realized he had startled her. She walked back up to her room humming Don't Worry, Be happy.