This is the sequel to my first Juliark-fic, "You have stolen my heart" - .net/s/6873468/1/
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I don't own Dalton, the fic by CP Coulter where these characters are from. I don't own any of the songs used, or the Sonnet. The latter is by Shakespeare. The song "Need you now" is by Lady Antebellum and the song "Stolen Hearts" is by Dashboard Confessional.
AN: I couldn't find the date of Parents' Night anywhere so I decided to have it one week after Valentine's Day. If any of you know the correct date, feel free to let me know. And please let me know of any mistakes, grammatical or others.
Enjoy!
Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore
Julian sat cross-legged in the middle of his bed thinking. Wanting. Longing. Pictures, some of them from magazines and some of them personal photographs, lay scattered all around the floor; pictures of him and his best friend. On the wall above his desk were photos of him and Derek and Logan. It was when he saw all these pictures together that it became all so clear, and Julian couldn't believe he hadn't realized it before. From a distance the difference was hard to catch, but when you looked closely it was evident that the brunette's smile varied depending on who was on the picture with him. The smiles that shone at him from the floor were radiant and reached the eyes, whereas the smiles on the wall were brilliant in that fake Hollywood style; smiles that didn't really reflect any emotions.
The actor let himself drop back on the bed, closing his eyes in wonder. How? How had he not seen it? How had he been so oblivious to his own feelings? He felt like he had been struck by lightning, but the evidence was there on his floor and on his wall, clear as day. This wasn't something new; it had been a long time coming. Weeks. Months. Heck, looking at the pictures; even years.
He reached for the phone and hit speed dial.
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
"J. Hi. Something wrong?"
"Nah, just the usual. Couldn't sleep."
They were routine now, these phone-calls. Ever since that fateful day; Parents' night. Julian still had nightmares, and the only way he could fall asleep was listening to Clark's soothing voice.
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
Flashback
While Derek tried to get rid of the mess on the front step, Julian slowly made his way up to his room, leaving his bags by the entrance as he walked in a haze. Once there, he closed the door quietly so as to not get anyone's attention. Then he slid down and started crying. He didn't know how long he'd sat like that when he heard a knock on his door.
"Julian" Derek whispered. "Let me in, will you? I brought your bags."
Julian opened the door just enough for Derek to slip in before he slid back down to the floor. Derek had never seen Julian this weak before; it was as if all the fight and spirit had vanished as soon as he saw the "message". His eyes were bloodshot and he sat hunched up like a child in the corner behind the door.
"We need to tell Logan!" Fierce head-shaking from the boy on the floor. Derek couldn't say he hadn't expected that. He went over to crouch down in front of Julian while saying "Then we need to call the police or at least tell Murdoch." Another fierce head-shake. "Julian... This is serious."
"D, don't you understand? This person knew I was leaving tonight. This person watch my every move and we have no idea who it is. If we tell someone, the stalker will know. The best thing is to just stay here for the time being and be watchful." After delivering this, Julian went back to staring emptily out into the dark room. He had been somewhat flippant about the threats before, but what he'd seen tonight had shocked him. This was serious. Derek hadn't dealt with his friend like this before, and was at a loss of what to do. Julian solved it by telling him that he wanted to be left alone.
"But..."
"I'm going to call Clark. He'll understand." And that summed it up to Derek; he had no idea how to deal with stuff like this. He slowly made his way to the door while telling Julian to call him if he needed anything. He heard Julian lock the door as soon as he had closed it behind him. This was bad. Derek stayed put outside the dorm room until he heard Julian on the phone with Clark.
"Hey, J" Clark sounded happy on the other end, until he realized the time on Julian's end. His voice laced with worry he said: "What's wrong? It's well after midnight at your place."
Hearing Clark's worried voice brought Julian a set of fresh tears. "Clark," he managed to get out in between the sobs, "I'm scared. I got another threat tonight."
Clark felt like a cold hand squeezed his heart. "Shhh. Just take your time, J, and tell me everything."
After Julian had told Clark what had happened, they went on to discuss what they should do. Clark understood why Julian didn't want to tell anyone at school. It was too risky. And since Derek had already gotten rid of the evidence there wasn't much the police could do at the moment other than up the security, which again would bring a lot of unnecessary attention.
"I'm catching a flight from LAX tomorrow morning."
"Clark, you really don't have to. I'm sure you're busy with band-rehearsals and stuff."
"Of course I'm coming. I was going up there for Parents' Night anyway, so I'll just get there a week early. And besides, when your best friend needs you, you drop whatever you're in the middle of and get to him. You would have done the same for me."
Clark was right. Julian would do anything for Clark. "Okay, thank you."
"You just stay put in your room, J. Don't let anyone but Derek in. And if you'll text me his number I'll give him a call." And just like that the older boy took charge of the situation.
Julian had moved from the floor to the bed during their conversation. But he was still in the same hunched position as before. And that's how Clark found him 15 hours later.
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
He heard a soft knock on the door and the shuffling of the key card before Clark came rushing in like a knight, handsome as ever but with worry etched in his features.
"Thank you, Derek. I'll take it from here and will let you know if we need anything."
And as Derek closed the door, leaving the two of them, Julian leaped off the bed and rushed into the open arms awaiting him. They stood like that for what felt like hours, Julian finally able to breathe normally while Clark stroked his back and held him closely. No words for now, just the comforting feeling of security and of being loved and understood.
The afternoon and evening were spent talking and playing video games, and sometimes they just sat there in silence contemplating the situation Julian was in. Bailey and Adam both came to check on Julian, but Derek firmly denied them access to his room, telling them that Julian didn't feel well.
All around them life went on as usual at Dalton Academy; they were all used to Julian not being there and didn't think anything unusual was going on.
The evening dragged on and it became more and more apparent that Julian was exhausted. He hadn't slept in 38 hours, and was yawning every few seconds. In spite of the grave situation, Clark couldn't help but smile at how cute Julian looked. He went over to the bookshelf to browse through the books Julian had left there when he packed his bags, knowing that Julian felt relaxed when someone read to him. Everything Julian didn't have to do himself was like heaven to the young actor, as he normally had a schedule befitting a workaholic. He sat on the bed next to Julian, who was by now laying, eyes closed, on his side facing Clark and holding on to the pillow as if his life depended upon it. His body was still tense and rigid, but as the older boy read, he became more and more unstrained.
And then sleep finally came to Julian, as he laid there drifting off to the soothing sound of Clark reading Shakespeare's Sonnets.
Not until Clark was absolutely sure the other boy was sleeping did he move on to his favorite sonnet. #75. He closed the book carefully and put it away. He knew this one by heart.
So are you to my thoughts as food to life,
Or as sweet seasoned showers are to the ground.
And for the peace of you I hold such strife
As 'twixt a miser and his wealth is found;
Now proud as an enjoyer, and anon
Doubting the filching age will steal his treasure
Now counting best to be with you alone,
Then bettered that the world may see my pleasure;
Sometime all full with feasting on your sight,
And by and by clean starvèd for a look
Possessing or pursuing no delight
His voice was but a tender whisper in the dimly lit dorm room. The bright moon made the trees outside cast long shadows across the floor and the Dalton grounds lay quiet and deserted in between the buildings. Julian lay peacefully, his chest rising and falling steadily with each breath he took, a small smile playing on his lips. Clark reached over to smooth the brown hair off his forehead before placing a featherlight kiss there. Then he tucked the blanket around the boy he fell more in love with every day, and went over to the window seat to watch over his scared friend.
Save what is had or must from you be took.
Thus do I pine and surfeit day by day,
Or gluttoning on all, or all away.
Elsewhere in the building Derek worried about his friend, but he knew that Clark could provide something he and Logan couldn't. The costar could somewhat relate to what Julian was going through. Moreover; Julian was opening to Clark. That was something Derek had tried to achieve but failed. Logan didn't even know what was going on, and was now laying in his room staring blankly at the roof wondering what it would feel like to be normal, and why he wasn't. Why he couldn't feel anything. And why he couldn't seem to care about anything other than Kurt.
Over in Hanover House Adam was in the middle of his nightly routine of kissing all the photos of his Julian that he had plastered on the wall inside his closet. In the prefect's room Laura Bancroft was trying to no avail to convince her brother that he should look into the new boy, as she and Dwight had sensed some bad vibes around him.
In Windsor House the Tweedles were as per usual wrecking havoc after curfew as the rest of the boys got ready to settle for the night. Dwight, staring out through the window in his room, at a safe distance and protected by the ring of salt, couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going on somewhere not far away.
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
When Julian woke in the morning it was with a smile on his face for the first time in weeks and he felt wonderfully rested. There were other prominent feelings there as well; contentment and happiness. For the first time since he got back to Dalton his dreams hadn't been haunted by a set of piercing green eyes. When he got up he saw the blonde sleeping on the window seat, his long frame in an awkward position. Although Julian felt bad about waking him, he was more concerned about what that position would do to his back and neck, so he went over to nudge his friend awake.
"Hey, popstar!"
Clark's eyelids fluttered open, revealing his mesmerizing dark blue eyes. For a split second Julian was dragged into their depths, until he remembered why he had woken him.
"You should go lie in my bed. You'll be regretting that position if you stay here any longer."
"True that. What about you?"
"I'm feeling more rested than I have in a long time. I think I'll get my stuff out of the bags. Seems I won't be leaving anytime soon."
His flippant tone did nothing to lessen the seriousness of the situation. It was still clear that Julian realized the graveness of the threat. But seeing Clark in his room made him feel safe, - made him believe that he would get through this. And Clark's easygoing and responsible personality had a calming effect on Julian. At Dalton and in Hollywood he acted like, and was perceived as, a badass primadonna, but with Clark he didn't feel like putting on an act. With Clark he could be himself for better or worse.
Clark went to sleep and Julian put his room back in the order it used to be. Clothes in the closet, pictures on the wall, books on the shelf. Soon it was as if he had never intended to leave. The only odd thing out in the room was the blonde stretched lazily on the bed, his sun bleached hair tousled and his clothes rumpled after a long day and uncomfortable night. The sun had just started to let its rays play across the Dalton grounds, and one ray had found it's way to the bed and was now warming Clark's face. The sight was one Julian could have relished for hours, but afraid that the light would wake the popstar from necessary sleep he went over to close the curtains.
At the window he took a moment to look out across the extraordinary garden at his school. It really was very beautiful, with lots of small paths and tall trees and colorful flowers. Right now it was bathed in morning light, the sun reflecting in the morning dew on the grass. It was quiet and deserted, apart from a bird or two. Off in the distance Julian could see Mr. Tamerlane tending to his beloved Magnolias. And under a giant old Maple tree he could see Dwight and a girl, he figured it must be Justin's sister, having an animated conversation. Good for him, Julian thought. He had, for some unknown reason, a soft spot for the hunter. After all he only wanted everyone to be happy and safe, just like Bailey, only a tad more crazy. He smiled to himself thinking about these altruistic boys as he closed the curtain and went over to the bed where he curled up next to his friend and went to sleep.
And so the days went by like that; with Clark and Julian mostly staying inside playing video games, talking, reading and going through some new scripts. Reed hung out with them a lot, getting to know his step brother, and both of them were happy to have Julian as a buffer if it should get awkward. Julian on his end was happy to be distracted from thinking about the stalker. The Tweedles came by too, sans nerf guns but with their crazy existence, making them all laugh. Adam came by several times a day but Derek always refused to let him see his Julian. The Hanover Kid became more and more frustrated.
While Julian relaxed with his friends, someone else on campus was looking out for him and trying to figure out who the stalker was. Han had happened to glance at his monitors when Derek got rid of the "message" He couldn't exactly make out what it was, but he knew it was bad. And as he knew about Julian's stalker he put two and two together and got "serious threat". It was time to call in the troops. He understood the necessity of being discreet, and chose to get a minimum of people involved. That's how the Tweedles, Bailey and Dwight gathered in Han's den before daylight the day after Clark's arrival.
These were their missions: The Tweedles were to do as they always did; causing mayhem everywhere to distract people from finding out what was going on, and to try to get information. Bailey was to keep his eyes and ears open to anything going on in Stuart House, and to prevent anyone unfamiliar from getting close to Julian. Dwight was to do some serious hunting all over campus to try and find out if the stalker could be anyone at Dalton. He was allowed to involve Laura, and together they paid particular attention to the new kid in Hanover.
Then the day arrived. Parents' Night. The day almost everyone dreaded; the boys who didn't have parents coming longed for their folks to pay attention to them, and the boys who did have parents coming would rather they didn't come and put so much pressure on them.
Present time
Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before
Julian sat back up in bed, willing it to open. Willing Clark to come to him, the way he did before. While listening to Clark's caring voice telling him about how a bunch of cows ran away from Corey's ranch in Kansas, and how they had chased after them on horseback to get them back in the paddock, Julian tried using telepathy to get Clark teleported to his room. His attempt turned out to be rather telepathetic.
Oh, how he longed to gaze into those eyes.
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
That he was thinking of Clark in other terms than friendship wasn't something new. He was well aware that the popstar was drop dead gorgeous, and Julian had wanted him on more than one occasion. But it was tonight he had first recognized it as love.
It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
Flashback
It was Parents Night, and the first guests arrived early. Julian figured he needed to get back into things sooner or later, and decided to venture out for the day. He was joined by Derek, Clark and Logan; the latter not completely accepting of the popstar but a stern look from Derek made him hold it in for once.
The group was soon joined by the Tweedles and their sister Audrey and they went to sit in one of the lounge areas in the garden. Before long they heard someone calling Logan, and they looked up to see a beautiful woman just a bit older than themselves looking around frantically while trying to avoid getting her stilettos stuck in the grass. "Michelle, over here," Logan called back. She continued to look wildly around the garden until Logan realized he needed to go get her. It was obvious that Michelle was thrilled to meet them all, and happy to get away from the "old people group tours" as she called the guided tours for parents. It turned out that she had a little cousin who was deaf and therefore knew sign language, so she and Audrey had a lively discussion about the latest fashion trends. They sat there for a couple of hours, talking and chilling, all the while trying to avoid the frenzy that went on all around them. This day was the most important annual event at Dalton. Around noon they decided to raid the lunch buffet, the Tweedles leading the way. Derek told them he'd meet them there, as he was off to greet his parents and little sister.
Adam had managed to talk his parents out of coming. He didn't want them to interfere with his life. Finally he was able to see and talk to Julian after one week of loneliness. He stared at his wall of pictures one last time before carefully closing the door and walking out into the vast garden. Today he would be able to stare at the real thing. He felt himself tremble in anticipation.
The hunter pair had been keeping an eye on Adam all week, but the only thing they had noticed was how he had gone to see Julian every day, and how sad and bitter he seemed when he returned mission unaccomplished. But the bad vibes around him hadn't decreased, so today they were going to up the search. Standing around the corner of the Hanover House entrance, they saw him leave the building with a spring in his step. Laura shivered and glanced at Dwight who'd narrowed his eyes at the Hanover kid. As soon as Adam was too far away to notice them, they snuck inside and up the stairs. They could hear Justin guiding the parents through the common areas. Quickly they opened the door to Adam's room using the key card the Caterpillar had provided them. And then the search began.
To an outsider recognizing Julian, the group walking towards the food area on the other end of the grounds looked very much like the actor with an entourage. That was the sight that met Adam as he neared his Julian. The spring in his step immediately gone, he stopped in his track and could do nothing but stare. Stare at the brunette surrounded by blondes. Clark; that popstar that was on Something Damaged with his Julian, the twins; Evan and Ethan, the despised Logan, and two girls he didn't recognize.
Adam felt his head spin. His frustration had reached its boiling point and he clenched his fists and felt like screaming at the top of his lungs. He was angry. How could his Julian be blinded by those people? They didn't know him like he did. They didn't understand him like he did. They didn't love him like he did. His head didn't stop spinning. His head ached. His heart ached. His whole body ached. It just hurt so much. He had to make it stop. He had to do something.
He felt the cold steel pressing against his abdomen and instantly knew what he had to do.
"JULIAN" Julian and the rest of the group turned around to look at the person that had screamed the actor's name. Laura and Dwight came running out if Hanover House at that exact moment. Julian saw the sun reflecting on the piece of steel. And froze in shock. Adam? It was Adam? That's all he managed to think before the trigger was pulled.
The gunshot echoed across the vast grounds of Dalton Academy. Then it became quiet. All too quiet.
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
It really did seem like forever, but in reality it was just a few seconds before everyone started talking frantically and checking to see if the rest were okay. Evan and Ethan were looking agitatedly around for Audrey. Since they couldn't call for her, they became worried when they couldn't see her. "Evan, Ethan," they heard a woman's voice, "she's here with me." In that instance, Michelle became their favorite talking flower. She had managed to drag Audrey with her to the ground, and was laying there protecting her with her own body.
Julian was in shock. He had been dragged to the ground by Logan, but was up in a second, madly looking around for Clark. What he saw made his heart skip a beat. Clark, as always, was in charge of the situation. After he had made sure Julian was safe, he had very cautiously made his way over to the kid laying in the ground. He didn't have to look closely to see that there was no hope for this boy no matter how quickly the ambulance would get there. He was dead. The shot had gone straight through his heart. Clark called 911, telling them to send an ambulance and a police car to Dalton Academy. When he hung up he went to talk to Justin who had ran out of Hanover as soon as he heard the shot. That might not have been very wise considering he didn't know if there'd be more shooting, but he had to find his sister. Had to make sure she was alright. He needn't have worried. Dwight was on the ground hugging Laura to him and shielding her with his body, his holy water and bag of salt disregarded a distance away. Laura opened her eyes to gaze into those of her hero before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Dwight was startled by the contact, but a bright smile soon made his eyes light up.
Once they realized the danger was over they rose, however reluctantly. They had an important message for Justin and Charlie, who had just come running from Windsor. "Hey, Justin. Charlie." Dwight's tone was serious, letting them know that this was not one of his crazy ideas. This was real. Justin gave him a nod of gratitude and crushed his little sister to him in a tight hug. Laura had to tell him that she couldn't breathe before he let her go. The younger kids then told the prefects about their finds. Justin figured this wasn't the time to berate them for doing something so extremely dangerous, and merely nodded before going off to meet the police.
Clark left the rest to Justin and Charlie, and went to find Julian. The brunette was standing shell-shocked with the rest of the group, now including Derek again. Clark took Julian by the hand and asked Derek to walk with them. They agreed that Clark and Julian would stay in the common room for now, fearing that the dorm room might be so small it could make Julian panic.
Julian went to sit on the couch. Whoever had the idea that chesterfield sofas are comfy was sadly mistaken. They are cold and hard and uninviting. But they were the only couches in Dalton so they had to do. The actor sat hunched up at one end of the furniture, his forehead resting on his knees and his whole body shivering. Clark went over to grab a few blankets which he tucked around his friend, before he sat down next to him. Julian turned around to face him and buried his face in Clark's chest. When Julian was out of tears, they talked. It became clear that Julian blamed himself for what had happened, and no matter how forcefully Clark tried to make him see that some people are unstable and can't be helped, Julian felt guilty for dragging the rest of Dalton into his mess of a life.
Clark left from time to time to get updated on the situation, but the rest of the day was spent next to Julian, holding his hand when needed, hugging him when needed and talking when needed. As the sun settled outside, parents were leaving (they had tried to go on as planned with the event, but not even the most self-absorbed of the parents could pretend that the shooting hadn't happened). Reed, having finally gotten rid of his mother, looked in on the two actors, but decided to leave them alone after seeing them both half asleep holding on to each other.
Later that night, while watching over the sleeping boy on the couch, Clark remembered a quote from a TV-show he had seen: "You know you love someone when you can spend the entire night sitting by the fire, watching them sleep." He hadn't realized how true that was until this moment. He could sit like this forever, watching his J. Lost in his own thoughts he started singing softly,
"You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart"
As the days went by Clark slowly but surely got Julian to understand that Adam's actions were not his fault. He suspected the actor would always feel somewhat responsible, but at least he got rid of some of the feeling of guilt. It also helped that the other boys came by every day to show their support. And every night Clark watched his J fall asleep to his voice singing or reading. Only when he was absolutely sure he was asleep did he sing
"You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart"
Present time
It was now three weeks since he had seen Clark. Julian was the one who had told him to leave. Told him that he needed to start taking care of himself again. Told him that the administration had had about enough of Clark staying with him. What Julian didn't tell him was that he was scared that the longer Clark stayed, the more dependent on him Julian became, and he feared that he would not manage without him at all if this went on any longer. The popstar reluctantly agreed to leave, telling Julian that he was to call him if he wanted to talk, no matter what time.
It was during that first night the nightmare came. Julian woke with a start from dreaming that Adam didn't shoot himself, but everyone around Julian. He sat up in bed, chilled to the core, and reached for the phone. Every night since, Clark had lulled him to sleep.
As Clark continued telling stories about the happenings on the ranch, where the band was gathered to work on their next album, Julian made an important decision.
Whoa, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt
than feel nothing at all
He wasn't going to do the same mistake with Clark as he did with Logan. He knew it would hurt like hell if Clark didn't feel an inch of what Julian felt for him, but he would rather have that painful feeling than always be wondering what if...
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
"Hey, J. Not that I don't love talking to you and helping you, but shouldn't you start going to Derek and Logan instead? They're right there, more able to comfort you whenever you need it."
"Thing is, popstar, I don't want them. I don't want them to be the ones to comfort me. I don't want either of them in any capacity but friendship anymore."
Clark's heart skipped a beat on the other end. Could it be? "Is that true, J?"
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
"True as the sun rising every day. You are the one I need. You are the one I want."
"Well then, remember when you caught me playing that song at the farewell party? It was for you. Only you. And I have sung it to you every night since I got to Dalton."
Oh, baby, I need you now
Julian's heart beat so loud he was sure Clark could hear it. He put the phone to his heart, and it was true, Clark could hear k'thmp, k'thmp, k'thmp.
"Clark, I am in love with you. Do you think you could sing that song to me now, so I can hear it for the first time when knowing it's for me?"
"You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart"
And then sleep finally came to Julian, as he laid there drifting off to the soothing sound of Clark singing song after song meant for him.