Soul Eater and any other intellectual property I may mention do not belong to me.
Excalibur was not, as so many believed, arrogant, or needy. He acted that way because the One True King, the successor to King Arthur, needed to handle the greatest of idiots and self-important asses the world had to offer without succumbing to the idiocy and stress or giving in to their demands. So far, he had yet to find anyone who could pass his test; in fact, it almost seemed as if no one understood the true reason for his actions, and simply believed that he was a pompous ass himself.
"If you're going to be my master, you must first please me. To do this, you must do the following things for me: My mornings begin with a cup of coffee with cream at the café. My afternoons begin with a cup of hot tea with two lumps of sugar. In the evening, I change into my pajamas."
"Why did you even bother saying that last bit?" I muttered.
"Fool! My legend begins in the twelfth century! Now, do you know what this hat is? No? Fool! The taller the chef's hat is, the greater the chef."
"So, you're saying that-"
"Fool! Who said that I was a chef?"
It was at this point that the newest attempt to become king kneeled down, placed their hand down upon Excalibur's hat, and stared into his eyes.
"I'm not gonna put up with this shit. Either you stop rambling and insulting me, or I find a weapon that doesn't treat me like a worm who should be thankful for the mud between your toes."
Excalibur had never been spoken to like that; everyone who had sought him was either a power-hungry fool, a spineless coward who would bend to his every whim, or too brutish to be a true king. This one, however, spoke their mind, and wasn't willing to put up with his nonsense. They showed promise. Now, one last test.
"You arrogant fool, who do you think you are?! I am Excalibur, my legacy goes back to the twelfth century! You cannot treat me like that, I am the holy sword! If you ever hope to wield me, you must abide by my rules and do what I say."
"Screw that. You need me, not the other way around; I don't care if you're so noble, you're nothing but a chunk of scrap metal without a master. Unless you can get it through your head that I'm not gonna let some asshole from a time when everyone thought slavery was okay and had zero understanding of the world around them boss me around."
And with that, Excalibur had a new owner.
"Well, my good sir- hey, where are you going? Come back!"
Not again.