As SG-1 walked through the wormhole into the gateroom, Hammond noticed something was off right away. Major Carter arrived first with Dr. Jackson, who kept casting concerned glances in Sam's direction. Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill, seemingly oblivious to Daniel's concern, arrived right after them. Hammond took the looks to heart though. Through the years, he had come to rely on Daniel's emotional intuition when it came to the members of his number one team.
"Welcome back SG-1. Get showered and checked out with Dr. Fraiser. Debriefing will be in 01.00 hours."
"Yes sir." replied O'Neill
Sam gave the guys dibs on first showers and trudged wearily towards the infirmary under the unnoticed gazes of Hammond, Daniel and now O'Neill and Teal'c as well.
One hour later part of SG-1 and Hammond were gathered around the briefing table. Everyone was very aware of the empty chair next to O'Neill were Carter usually sat. Sam came rushing into the briefing room with mumbled apologies and hurriedly sat down next to O'Neill. The three men cast concerned glances at each other.
The briefing took over two hours, during which Daniel spoke almost non stop about ancient Celtic tribes and how the inhabitants they were attacked by could be traced back to earth through the rituals they had been preforming before they had become aware of their presence. After being ambushed by the natives, they were taken to the village and were put in their version of cells, which were really just holes dug into the ground in a ring spaced 10 feet apart. The holes themselves were ten feet deep and three feet by three feet wide.
When Hammond heard the description of the cells, his eyes flew to Major Carter whose eyes were trained on her notepad in front of her, as they had been the entire. Hammond's reaction was not lost on Jack and as the briefing came to an end, Jack spoke up.
"General, can I see you for a second sir?".
"Okay. The rest of you are dismissed. What is it, Jack?"
"Is there something that I should know about sir?"
"What do you mean Colonel?"
"I saw the look you gave Carter, sir. And it wasn't just a casual glance. Now what in the hell is going on?!"
"Watch your tone Colonel!" warned Hammond
"I'm sorry sir, but I don't appreciate being left in the dark in matters that concern my team. Now, what is going on with Carter?"
"Major Carter has been involved in some situations that you are not aware of, and one of those may be the cause of her current detachment."
"What kind of situations?"
"Let's just say you weren't the only one involved in Special Ops during the Gulf War."
"Carter?! She was Black Ops? I thought she flew during the Gulf. That's what the file you gave me when we first started said."
"She did fly. But she was recruited to take part in numerous missions as well as flying bombing missions."
"Why wasn't I aware of this? And what does that have to do with how she is now?"
"Her involvement in these operations was strictly need to know. It wasn't thought necessary to inform you of these things. You of all people should understand that."
"And how does all of this relate?"
"Major Carter was captured during one of these missions."
"She managed to escape, but not until after almost two months in a prison camp. If you'll remember, when you described your "cells" from this last mission, that's when I became concerned."
Hammond waited for Jack to digest the information he just told him before continuing. Carter had been a prisoner too? How could she have not have said anything? What triggered her memory on this mission?
"Okay. I understand how that screws you up, but we've been held as prisoners before. Why is this time any different?" asked O'Neill
"The camp that Major Carter was taken to was different then most. The women in these camps were forced to perform certain...ah, acts...for the men in the camp. In between these acts, they were kept in holes in the ground. When a man wanted her again, they would drop a ladder down to her. This kept up for two months until she escaped. She had tried escaping when she had first been taken to the camp, but was caught while trying to free other women."
"Thank you General. If you don't mind, I think I'll go find Carter and make sure she's okay." Jack said distractedly.
"Colonel, before you go. There is another matter I'd like to discuss with you. I've become increasingly aware of your feelings for Major Carter over the years."
"Sir the Zay'tarc incident-"
"No, I have been noticing it from the moment she challenged you to a wrestling match. I understand that she's a very attractive woman, but you know as well as I do that it's against the current regulations."
Hammond paused and watched Jack squirm in his seat before continuing.
"So, naturally, that means that we have had to change the regulations."
Jack started defending himself and Carter before the words sunk in.
"General, the Major and I have never let our feelings interfere with our missions and have never acted on tho-...what did you just say sir?"
"I said, that's why we have changed the regulations. As my second in command, you receive a memo on this matter." Hammond replied while trying to hide a huge smile that was threatening to break through his composure.
"What exactly are you trying to say sir?" asked Jack wearily.
"I'm saying that the President has decided that due to the secretive nature of the Stargate Program, as well as other Top Secret programs, that fraternization regulations have been relaxed for these specific facilities. Now, I suggest that you head to your office and find that memo that outlines the new guidelines and then head out and find Major Carter's location. Oh, and Jack. Take the memo with you. We both know that Sam might be a little hesitant without written proof."
Jack jumped up and leapt for the door, but stopped before leaving.
"Thanks George, for everything."
"Your welcome Jack. But be careful. You'll have a whole galaxy of pissed off aliens and humans coming after you if you screw up. Now go before I change my mind."
"Thank God that briefing is over." thought Sam as she pulled her coat on. As soon as they had been dismissed, the blonde Major had hurried out of the room and grabbed her coat and keys and was now half jogging half walking down the halls of the SGC.
"Major Carter! Major Carter! Wait, do you have a couple of minutes? I wanted to know what you thought about my new program for tracking the planets we've visited."
Sam turned and had to resist the urge to slam her head against the wall as she saw who the annoying voice that was keeping her hostage here belonged to.
"Maybe some other night, Dr. Felger." replied Sam and tried to make a run for it.
"But it'll only take a minute!"
"We already have a program to track the planets that we've visited. It's the one the Colonel input when he downloaded the Ancients technology and I've modified it twice myself." Carter wearily added
"I know, but I thought we could use something more up to date. And it'll only take a few hours to look over the program coding."
Something inside Sam snapped. She twirled around, eyes blaring, and teeth grinding and yelled
"No Felger. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Is that clear enough for you?! I'm going to leave this mountain at a semi normal time and forget everything in it, and that includes you and your damned programs that always end up screwing us over some how! SO, if you don't mind, Good Night!"
With that Sam hit the button on the elevator and stepped inside. While standing there waiting for the doors to close she heard a very familiar set of footsteps coming down the hall, followed by a very familiar voice.
"Hold the elevator! Felger! Would you stop standing there like a damn idiot and stop those doors! Carter! Dammit Sam!" yelled Jack as the doors quickly closed as Sam hit the close button. She'd hate to be Felger right now, having to stand there and catch the brunt end of Jack's temper, but she really didn't want to talk to anybody at the moment. She just wanted to be left alone with her thoughts and memories and to be able to leave it all behind for once.
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"What in the hell is wrong with you?! Did you forget how to stick out your arm?! That's all I wanted! Will you answer me dammit?!" bellowed Jack.
Felger answered a few moments later.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to do. Major Carter had just yelled at me about how she was leaving and how my programs always, and I quote, "Screw us over some how" and I guess I was still in some kind of a shock." he said bewilderedly
"Carter YELLED at you?"
"Yes, I asked her to help me look over a new Gate program and she just started yelling at me." Felger replied in a hurt tone.
Jack didn't hang around long enough for Felger to whine anymore. He took off towards the stairs and started fumbling with his coat and keys as he finally reached the sign out sheet. He scribbled his name and noticed Sam had managed to get out of there almost ten minutes before him. Considering the slowness of the elevators, Jack knew she must have been trucking it out of there.
He jumped into his car and quickly sped out of the SGC parking lot and turned his car towards Sam's house. Fifteen minutes later Jack pulled up in front of Sam's house and looked at the empty drive way confused.
"Think Jack. Where else would she go?" He quickly checked off locations from his mental list. She'd be too upset to go Grocery shopping. She wants to be left alone obviously, so she wouldn't go to Daniel's or Janet's houses. Suddenly something clicked in Jack's head and he remembered Daniel saying she visits some local stable every now and then.
"Well, it's worth a try."
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Sam sighed as she felt the cool mountain air rush across her face as the mare she was currently riding sped through the tall grass. She had always loved speed, her Indian held a very special place in her heart, but she couldn't achieve the same sense of release when she had to worry about speed limits and driving conditions. He had learned at a very young age that horses were a great release for her. When her mother died, she had practically lived at a local stable where they were stationed, and now she was glad she had started coming to this stable a few years back. It had been when they finally got Jack back from Edora and had pulled that double agent crap with all of them. Since then it had gotten her through a lot more since then, but now she needed it more then ever. When she was in the "cells" as the natives called them, it took every shred of self control not to start screaming and clawing at the walls. She had just sat down quietly and focused on getting herself and her team mates out of there alive. When they finally had made it out she couldn't escape the memories that kept flooding her psyche. Images of the dirt stained clothes she wore when she could and were torn off every time she emerged from the hole. She remember the sweaty men and their fat fingers on her body and the stench of the whole camp. Sam closed her eyes against these images now and felt the wind whip across her face and pull the memories away from her. She was going to catch hell from Janet for riding in the dead of winter, but she didn't care. She needed this. And this was one thing she could have.
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Jack pulled up out front of the stables about two hours later, after finally locating the stables through many calls to Daniel and the operator. As he got out of his truck he pulled his coat a little tighter around himself and headed inside huge barn.
A barn hand looked up from the horses hoof he was picking out and called out a welcome to him as he stood up.
"It's getting cold out there isn't it?" asked the friendly man
Jack smiled. "Yeah, just a little."
"Can I help you with anything?"
"Yeah, actually, you might be able to. Have you seen a tall blonde around here lately? Her name is Sam."
"Yeah! She's out riding now. She's kind of hard to miss."
"Do you know where she'd be right now?"
"Probably just running the dickens out of our mare in the fields out back. It stretches back about twenty acres back from here, but she's been out for over an hour and a half, so she should be heading back in here pretty soon. You're more then welcome to walk on back there and see if you can catch her. Good luck though. That girl loves speed. It's like she's in her own world when she on a horse."
"Thanks, I think I will take a walk back there." replied Jack as he started towards the end of the long barn.
The cold air bit against Jack's now warmed face. He started walking back towards the direction the friendly man had pointed. It took Jack a good half hour before he finally saw Sam's blurred image racing across the fields. She was barreling across the field at a full gallop and looked totally free under the cloudless night sky. The mare's breaths came out as huge puffs of steam and Jack knew she had been riding her hard for a long time. From his position behind a small shrub he could see Sam's tear stained face as she finally slowed about a hundred yards away from him. She scrubbed a rawhide covered hand across her face to clear away any remnants of her emotional release and then leaned into the horse.
"That's a good girl, Lacey. I know it's cold, let's head in baby."
With a warm stroke down the horse's heaving throat the pair started back to the barn at a fast trot. Jack was just barely able to keep up with them without being seen, his negligence partly due to the fact that he couldn't get that image out of his mind. Of Sam wiping away her tears she cried nonstop for hours and putting them away tightly until her next break down. Jack knew he hid his feelings and fears well, it was something he was taught and had to live by, but had never seen it before in Sam.
Sam and Lacey trotted into the barn to the exaggerated sighs of the barn hand and watchful eyes of Jack. He had reached the barn by now and was leaning in the doorway to an empty stall, still undiscovered by Sam.
"Lady, you're gonna keep me here all night with your antics!" the man said playfully.
"Head on home, Earl. I'll put her up myself tonight. Thanks."
"No, I was just playing. Let me go get the pick."
"No, really. I'd just like to be alone a little while, that's all."
"Well, okay, but I don't know how alone you're going to get with him here." he replied with a playful tug of his head in Jack's direction.
Sam whipped around to see a grinning Jack looking back at her.
"Thanks again, Earl." Jack said to the grinning man as he walked out of the barn, leaving the pair alone.
"How did you know I'd be here?" asked an incredulous Sam.
"Hey, I listen every now and then when people talk." Jack said with a feigned hurt expression.
"How long have you been here?"
"Oh, long enough to see you ride the life out of that poor horse."
"Oh."
Sam unfastened the mare's saddle and put it on the rack with the others. After brushing the horse off with a brush, she started to make her way around to her hooves. As Sam went to bend down to grip the horse's hoof Jack spoke up wearily.
"Is that safe?"
Sam replied with a grin.
"Yes, Colonel, it's safe. I've been doing this a long time." and continued with her picking.
Jack loved seeing Sam like this. Relaxed and definitely in her own environment. She was at home in her lab, but there was always a sort of tension around her at the base.
"I didn't know you liked horses. How long have you been riding? From the looks of the speed and maneuvering you were doing out there, I'd say you've been riding a long time."
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me. I don't remember when exactly I started riding. It was when my mom was still alive. She loved horses." Sam smiled sadly at the memory.
"Yeah, I'm starting to figure out that there's a lot I don't know about you. Some things I haven't learned, but some you've just never told me." Jack said as he fingered the folded up memo in his pocket.
Sam's picking stopped for a fleeting second before resuming it's methodical clean out of the hoof.
"What are you talking about?" Sam asked while stealing a sideways glance at her CO. She needed to know what he knew before she blurted anything out.
"Hammond and I had a discussion after the debriefing today. Seems that you've kept a little secret from me- er... the team about being a POW before."
"I never thought it was important enough to bring it up."
"Not important enough?! Being held prisoner in a sex camp for over two months, trying to escape once and getting caught and then finally getting away, not to mention YOUR Black Ops training isn't IMPORTANT ENOUGH?!" Jack exploded.
Sam snapped up so quickly she caught Jack off guard and he almost stumbled back. With eyes afire she yelled back,
"I didn't want to have to relive that hell ever again! I wanted to forget it ever happened and go back to the way things used to be! I don't see you rushing out to share and relive YOUR capture! So why in the hell should I be any different?!"
Jack stood there looking at the woman in front of him and all he wanted to do was hold her. Instead though, he said,
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm just upset that you think you can't share things with me, that's all."
Sam was touched by that emotional confession.
"I'm sorry too. It's just that being in that hole again made every thing just come rushing to the front all over again." she replied as tears threatened to start falling.
This time Jack did take her in his arms and Sam broke down again. When the sobs finally stopped racking through her body, she pulled away.
"I'm sorry. Now your coat's all wet." she said as she wiped her nose.
"I'll tell you what. How about you get Old Lightning put away here and I'll go warm up my truck and we'll go get something hot to eat. Hmm?"
"I drove my car here though, what about that?" asked Sam.
Thrilled that she didn't turn him down outright, he answered cheerily
"No, big deal. If it get's too late you can stay at my house and pick it up in the morning. Okay?"
"Okay, just give me ten minutes to put Lacey away and get myself back to looking normal."
As Jack turned to walk away, Sam heard him say quietly to himself,
"You never look normal. You look gorgeous."
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