Standard disclaimer. Character not mine. :)

.oOo.

Porch Pirates

Chapter One

.oOo.

The rain never let up the whole day and I was soaked to the skin by the time my rusty bucket of a car rolled into the parking lot behind my apartment. December always looked so dead, I thought, trudging up the stairs. Gray and muddy, and dead.

As dead as the business at Vinnie's, I thought with a bit of a pout. I guess December is not a great month for FTA's or any bonding at all for that matter. Just this morning Connie had mentioned that there had been no new cases in weeks. That was really bad news for me. We are just a week away from Christmas and my funds have dried up.

I was digging in my big bag for my keys when Mrs. Baumgarten walked up to me with a plate wrapped in yards of cellophane with a big red bow on top.

"Merry Christmas Stephanie," she said with a smile, handing the heavy plate to me. "I hope you are not spending the holidays alone," she added, looking pointedly at the door of my apartment that she knew I didn't share with anyone. I tried to smile at her, I hope it was a smile. But that was all I needed, another burg lady judging my single status and finding me lacking. Again.

Balancing the plate in one hand, I slipped the key into the lock and pushed my door open. "Thanks for the goodies Mrs. Baumgarten," I said quickly, "It was really so nice of you to think of me."

There was nothing wrong with my training in burg manners, my mother would have been proud. And now, thanks to my smooth moves, I was safely on the other side of the door. Keeping in line with those manners, I kept talking, I certainly did not want to be rude. Slowly I closed the door, waving and saying goodbye as Mrs Baumgarten stared at me from out in the hall.

Okay, it wasn't perfect, and once again, I'm sure that my social graces, fell short of what my mother would have expected for a nice neighbor sharing some holiday cheer. But really, how much could I take today?

Rex poked his head out when he heard me. I was empty handed, except for the plate from Mrs. Baumgarten, so I pulled the wrappings away to see what she had inside. Fruitcake. Wow, I had not expected that, who even eats fruitcake anymore? Taking a small chunk that looked like it had a raisin in with it, I dropped it into the aquarium.

At first Rex just stared at it. Then he circled around it, sniffing and poking at it with his nose. Then he looked up at me, his dark little eyes questioning me. "Yeah, sorry about that," I told him as he backed into his can, leaving the offensive morsel behind.

To save face with my roommate, I put everything down and rummaged around in the fridge. Finding a grape that looked to be in decent condition, I removed the fruitcake, replacing it with the peace offering. He would be so much easier to live with when he was not upset with me. Laughing at my own little joke, I made my way into the bathroom where I stripped off my wet clothing and stepped into a nice warm shower.

Just as I turned off the water, I heard the phone ringing. It stopped, only to start ringing again. Hurriedly, I dried off and grabbed my robe, running to the phone only to miss it. The answering machine started blinking with a new message just as the phone rang again. This time I was close enough to answer it and I quickly grabbed it up. "Stephanie, Stephanie is that you?" Grandma Mazur was yelling into the phone, and I could hear all kinds of noise behind her.

"Yes, it's me grandma," I said, raising my voice too, so that I could be heard. "What's going on?" I asked her.

"You have to come quickly," she said, "We have a problem, a big problem. Everyone is so upset. We need your help."

The phone disconnected. Grandma didn't ever wait around for an answer, she just expected that her problems were as important to everyone else as they were to her, and that we would jump to help her out. And truthfully that philosophy seemed to work really well for her.

It only took me ten minutes to get dressed and then I was back out in the rain, heading over to the house she shared with my parents. All the way I tried to guess what had grandma so worked up this time. Its not like she ever had really bad problems, they just seemed bad to her. All my worries were usually for nothing, as the problems were easily taken care of once we found out what was going on.

I was confident that it would be the same this time too. And since I was over there anyway, maybe I would have a great excuse to stay and grab some dinner. No matter what mom was making today, it beat the heck out of having another peanut butter and olive sandwich. And since my cupboards were getting so bare with the lack of FTA's to bring in lately, its all I had available right now.

Yes, dinner sounded good, so I was happy as I drove up to the house, ready to set my grandmother's fears at ease and transition right into meal time. The second I turned off the engine, however, people started pouring out of the house. Grandma led them over to me, tapping on my window, and motioning for me to get out.

"Grandma," I said, squeezing out of the limited space that she allowed for me to open the door. "What are all these people doing here?

She now had her hands on her hips and her face was as pink as the velour running suit that she was wearing. "Pirates!" she yelled, the word being echoed by those standing behind her.

Pirates?