Title: I don't want to be lonely anymore
Author: Fiction-Goddes
Genre: Yaoi, lemon, drama
Pairings: NarutoXSasuke
Warning: NC-17, male sex, if you are offended by stuff of this kind, please stay away from this story.
Disclaimer: Naruto characters belong to their rightful owners, I just use them for a while and screw their minds out.
Author's note: My first NC-17 fic, I am not familiar with yaoi, since I'm a girl.
Waking FeelingsThis solitude...
Sasuke walks through the city, alone, as always, no one at his side, no one to talk to. Not that he would've allowed that though, he found out that over the years he found it more difficult to come close to people.
The mission is over, a stupid D-rank, he gets sick of doing these easy missions while he should actually be training to become stronger, stronger... so he can defeat his brother...
There seems to be only one reason why he's going on with these missions, whenever he gets involved in them, there's something that makes him feel good, nearly alive, if there's something you can call living. He can't figure out what it is though. Or he just doesn't bother looking for the answer, he doesn't know.
Images of Naruto screwing up their latest mission intrude his mind, they had to go to the grocery store for an old lady and Naruto stupidly tripped over his own feet, causing all the contents of his bag to fly out of his bag and land randomly on the ground.
He snickers at the memory, foolish guy. He seriously considers becoming a Hokage? He sighs and continues his way home, rather being anywhere else at the moment, surrounded by people.
"Ramen!" he suddenly hears, the familiar voice comes from behind and he turns around, only just being able to dodge an over-enthausiastic Naruto.
"Look where you're going, dobe!" he shouts to the fastly running back.
Naruto stops walking and turns around, seemingly startled to find Sasuke there.
"Yo, Sasuke! Didn't see you there, was going to get some ramen!" he shouts back at him.
'As if that wasn't obvious...' Sasuke thinks, suprised not to feel the usual annoyance. He blames it on his earlier thoughts.
"Why don't you join me?"
Sasuke looks up at the blonde, slightly unsure of what to answer. "Yeah... ok..." he decides, better than being alone.
He catches up with Naruto who wriggles in anticipation of a steaming bowl of ramen.
"Welcome!" the man behind the stand says, expecting Naruto, but not the black haired guy behind him who eyes the scene boredly.
"Ah, I see you've brought a friend!" he says.
Naruto snorts and sits down. "We're not friends. We're just in the same team. And you're buying your own ramen, Sasuke!" he says towards the guy who now takes a seat next to him.
Sasuke nods absently. "Yeah..." he simply says, trying to find out why he was bothered by the fact that Naruto said they weren't friends.
Naruto blinks wearily, but as soon as his order of ramen hits the counter, he refines himself to eating rather than staring at Sasuke, who, in his turn, is immensly relieved by this.
"So... Sasuke." Naruto says, having aten half of his ramen already before Sasuke even started eating.
Sasuke looks up at hearing his name. "Hhm?"
"Isn't your house at the other side of town?" Naruto asks, filling his mouth with ramen once more while waiting for an answer.
Sasuke plays with his chopsticks and nods. "Yes, why do you want to know?" he asks coldly.
Naruto tries to form understandable words, but with his mouthful, this isn't really working out.
Sasuke looks rather disgusted, laughing inwardly at this crazy person.
Naruto swallows. "I was wondering what you were doing here at this late hour, that's all." He says.
Sasuke decides it's time to start eating, he nods.
Naruto looks at him, practically wanting to drag an answer out of him.
"There's no one waiting for me there, ok? I don't want to go home!" Sasuke nearly shouts, this guy is making him really angry, still he doesn't know why he didn't just avoid the question.
Naruto stares down at his bowl, nodding as if he understands it.
'Of course...' Sasuke thinks. 'Naruto is alone too.'
"Sorry for insisting on an answer." Naruto says softly.
Sasuke shakes his head, somehow feeling drawn to this person now, Naruto can be quite understanding at times. At least, in times when he knows the feeling for himself, out of experiences. "It's alright." He says softly, quickly eating his ramen before it gets cold.
Naruto looks at Sasuke, as if he wanted to say something, but he shakes his head slightly and turns around again. "Another bowl please!" he says.
Being back home after watching Naruto eat 5 bowls of ramen, Sasuke sits down on his bed, feeling rather exhausted. Not as much from the mission, since that was only too easy, but from a sudden conversation with Naruto, a serious topic which he hadn't really expected.
"You feel lonely, right?" he hears Naruto say in his head, Sasuke had merely stared back, eyes emotionless, but not denying the fact.
"It's like an endless fight against the world, you want to fit in, but you're afraid to be rejected." So much wisdom, it still suprises him.
"After a while you'll probably give up, accepting your loneliness even though it hurts..." he still hears the sad tone in Naruto's voice, even though there was still a smile on his face.
Is that how it works for him? He doesn't seem to be accepting his loneliness, he seems to be fighting it. Or is that just fake? Is he accepting any kind of attention, even though it's bad?
He recalls the time that Naruto was still pulling pranks every day, most outstanding the paint job on the Hokage's faces in the mountain.
That's gotta be it. Naruto pulled the pranks to get attention, because everyone turned their backs on him.
He's different from him, but yet so similar.
Why did it take this long for him to see this? A strange feeling of warmth flows through his body, someone can actually understand him.
"You can have all the attention you want, all the girls at school like you... yet you don't pay any attention to them." Naruto's voice continues to repeat the words.
Why is that? He wonders, is it that bad to allow people into my life? Is my goal that important? Yes it is, but if there was a girl he actually liked, he would've taken the time to talk to her. Or would he?
He remembers that he has never felt anything for a girl before, even in the beginning, when he still tried to socialize with people. Never, he has never felt anything for a girl.
Could Naruto actually make him think about his feelings? He sure is an amazing guy, he has to admit. The warm feeling grows when he thinks of him, he doesn't understand it.
They talked until late in the evening, until the ramen stand closed, Naruto walked part of the way with him, mostly in silence, until he found the corner of the street where they had to seperate their ways. Naruto had thanked him for a pleasent evening and the nice talk, he had nodded in response, a slight smile gracing his face. Naruto gave a wide grin, closing his eyes and raising his hand, waving his goodbye to him.
That smile, it was genuine, not forced, just friendly, too friendly for someone who doesn't consider you to be a friend. Maybe Naruto started to see him differently as well over the evening. He thinks at the smile again, there was something good about it, it makes him feel all strange inside, Naruto nearly looked... enchanting, yes, maybe that was a way to describe it, he had wanted to say beautiful, but it'd sound really strange for a guy to say such a thing.
At the moment Naruto walked away, he could only just supress the desire to call him back and press himself into his arms, forcing his way into his rival's warmth, simply feeling...
Images of himself doing this invade his mind, he feels something tickling in his stomach, his mind doesn't just stay with a simple hug, he notices, Naruto comes closer, his lips parted, he steals a kiss from him, not forced, like the one back at the academy, but rather passionate.
He looks down at his crotch when he feels a strange restriction there and finds a rather large bulge. He gets rid of his pants in a nick of time and is soon to be stroking his hard cock, images of Naruto kissing him playing in his head, he is quick to orgasm.
Catching his breath and laying down on the bed, he wonders where hád those images come from? And why the hell do they turn him on? Does he feel something more for this guy? He thinks he might as well find out if he does, and if the feeling is mutual, somewhere in a distant part of his exhausted brain, he silently hopes it is.