Afterthought
Disclaimer: Don't own She Secret Under my Skin so don't sue.
This afternoon I'm leaving for the university. I still can't believe I was permitted to go. Out of all the kids Marrella could have picked, she picked me. I don't even care about the reason anymore. I still remember the day. Warden November just called all of us to the main room and everyone was standing in a straight line. No one was slouching either. We all lived in fear. In the end we all got what we wanted, I guess. Marrella chose to stay here and marry Carlos. He will become an excellent hunter again, once his leg is healed. William and Erica have someone to send to the university, to help repair the world in the most meaningful way, by learning so that we can be sure the technocaust never occurs again. I received the one thing I always dreamed of, but never believed would ever happen. I get to learn about everything. I get to read as much as I want and they won't be what the government wants us to read. It will be what I want to read. It will be the information the government attempted to destroy. The information that will fix the world and restore democracy. It will be what everyone used to learn before the technocaust. It will be the information my parents knew and died because they knew it. Because they were scientists. By me learning this it is like they are still alive. I'm doing what they would want me to do. I'm keeping them and all the others like them who were killed, alive by learning this information and making sure it will never be forgotten. Not only will the people like my parents be remembered, but also the people like Hilary who was just trying to survive by any means possible. I'm starting to believe that even though Hilary "stole" me, I was lucky that she did. If she did not I would probably have been adopted by childless government officials. Then I would be on the other side without even knowing it, without knowing who my parents are, that they were not my real parents. My life would be so different. I would be so different. I would never have been sent to the work camp. I would never know who I really am. Blay Raytee. I went by that name for so long and the person I used to be afraid of because of the stories told to keep us from escaping, gave me back my real name. Blake Raintree. One of the Disappeared. I know my history. It used to seem like a dream. Figuring out who my parents were, escaping the work camp, and now it's my reality. That's why I need to join the resistance, to help restore democracy. I know that by just getting out myself is not nearly enough. There are still so many work camp kids not free. The one I used to go to is free but now those kids need to be taken care of. At least their out. No one should have to suffer like we did and if this works then no one will ever again. Sure, people will suffer, but nothing like we did. In my heart it almost seems illegal to not help. I know that my generation possibly even the next generation will not live in a fixed world but I know that by doing everything I can; I can help the recovery go faster.
A/N: I wrote this two years ago and was going through old files and decided to post it.