The night was dank and hazy, the smell of brine hung in the air like syrup. The Black Pearl sailed quietly along making berth at the docks of Port Royal.
It had been some time since he had been there, and nothing seemed to really have changed. Except of course that this time there was no sinking boat behind him. He walked along the wooden docks thinking about the last time he was there, what adventure that had been. Things had been quiet of late, nothing really to do now that he had his ship.
He had hoped that maybe stiring things up here would bring a little bit of excitement to his life. Little did he realize that it would be more then he could handle.
Jack walked down the dark and quiet streets of Port Royal like he owned the place. Off in the distance he could hear the wonderful sounds of drunk men, he figured a pub was not far off. He sauntered off vaguely in the direction of the noise and smiled wickedly as he gazed at the Mermaid's Mirror. He could smell the rum in the air and it made his heart beat wildly.
"Fine see if I care, I wouldn't want to sail with you anyway! You wretch!" Jack was knocked off his feet as the owner of that very mad comment ran straight into him.
"Watch where ye goin' ye crav...en" Jack looked up at the person on top of him. She was beautiful, like a sunrise seen from the crows nest. Her long blonde hair toppled down her shoulders to tickle his face. Her eyes shimmered azure like the deep colors of the ocean. And her lips, like two kissing cherries just waiting for him. He picked her up and set her down beside him, she was lighter then anything he knew.
"Ye better watch more carefully where ye be goin luv, next time ye may not be so lucky as to run into me." He laughed and watched as a small smiled played across her fine ruby lips. She ran her fingers over his hand and grinned at him.
"And who Sir, may I ask did I run into?" Jack smirked and stood up pulling her with him. He bowed and tipped his hat.
"Captain Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl at yer service." She laughed and walked around him a little making him loose his breath at the sweet smell of her perfume.
"Captain huh? Pirate I would suspect, am I wrong?" She ran her fingers along his arm and giggled whenever he smiled at her.
"Tha' be right luv, I be only the best pirate captain there ever was. Why I have escaped the clutches of the East Indian Trading Company an' the Royal Navy, killed the lowly an' vile Barbossa. An' me pretty luv, become the best luv'r known to women." She laughed and stepped back making a curtsy.
"Well then Captain Sparrow, I am Crystal of Port Royal. And this Captain is your lucky day." Jack looked her up and down. She didn't look like some wench for the buying, nor did she look like some poor girl wondering the streets. No she was elegantly dressed in fine cream tapestry and draped in delicate rubies. So what was she saying about his lucky day?
"An' why is tha' luv?" She smirked at him and reached down picking up two bags he had previously not seen.
"Why because my Captain you have just gotten yourself a new cabin girl. So when do we set sail?" Jack looked wide eyed at the young girl in front of him. What in the world was she thinking? He figured she was some fine and proper lady who was running away from some unwanted marriage. Jack again looked her up and down. She was beautiful, but if he was to take her he would have some trouble with the royal navy. They would be after him and a fight would ensue.
"Now if ye don' mind." She smiled and followed him to the docks. This may be just the adventure he needed.

---------

Jack walked across the deck with Crystal in toe. He smirked whenever she would gasp and awe in wonder.
"This way luv, I'll show ye yer cabin." Crystal followed behind him, very closely behind him. He smirked wickedly to himself. Not only was he going to finally have an adventure, but maybe he could have a bit of fun with her.
"An' here it is. Wha' ye think?" She walked in and smiled and spun around in front of him after setting her bags on the bed.
"Oh Captain this is just so wonderful, thank you so much." She smiled and sat down on the bed.
"'ey Crystal ye can just call me Jack. Now ye get settled an' I'll be back later after we set sail. I'll show ye then wha' ye can do 'round here to pay yer keep." She nodded and grinned.
"Ok Jack, thank you again."

------------

Crystal's POV

Crystal watched as Jack shut the door. As soon as he did she locked it and walked around the small cabin making scowling faces. Did he really expect her, a fine lady, to live in this small hole? This room was not even fit for a ship rat, let alone her. But until they were far out to sea she could not say anything. She unpacked her bags hoping that what she brought would help lighten up the place a bit.
She hung her large dresses in the closet and folded all her unmentionables and placed them in the small dresser that stood at the end of the cabin. Out of the second bag she pulled pink curtains and silk sheets. This room was going to take a lot more then she thought to make it suitable for a lady such as herself. She hung a few small paintings on the wall and a large book on etiquette beside the bed.
She stepped back and sighed.
"Well it is a start a least."

------------

Jack's POV

Jack walked quickly to Crystal's cabin, it was strange how she had just made herself part of his crew. But not that he minded, she was bautiful and danger would follow them now. It was just what they all needed. He knocked on the door to be greeted by a soft and light come in. He opened the door and stopped at once. The entire room had been turned pink. What in the world did she have in those bags, an entire market! Even after the shock of the room he found what Crystal was wearing shocking. A large pink dress with a diamond necklace.
"Um, Crystal luv, ye best not wear yer jewels 'round the Pearl. Me crew won' steal them, but ye may loose them." She nodded and took them off and set them in a large box Jack could only take as her jewelry box.
"So Jack what am I to do?" He smirked and curled his finger at her. She followed him down to the galley.
"Ye are to make our food. Cookie got sick last week so we need someone to make our viddles. Sound good?" Crystal just walked around the small kitchen. He knew that whatever she made was going to be very very bad, she most likely had never even stepped foot inside a kitchen before now. But he figured it was better then not eating. It was not like Cookie's food was gourmet or anything, in fact it was crap.
"Now, you want me to cook now?" Jack laughed and started out the door.
"Nay luv, ye should get some sleep first. Ye had no need to get dressed in tha'. I'll send Anamaria down to get ye in the mornin'. Now off to bed with ye, ye have an early day." Jack smirked and left for his cabin.

------------

Crystal's POV

She looked around her after Jack left. He was kidding right? She didn't know how to really cook, nothing like Chef's food back home. She only knew a few basics, just a few things that Chef had taught her years ago. As she looked through the cupboards she sighed, there was not even one thing to cook what she knew how to. Just dried bread and meat. Maybe Jack was right she should go to bed, she had to think on what in the world she was going to make. As she laid in bed all she could think of was who was Anamaria?

Crystal groaned as a loud knock came at her door. "Come in!" She yelled thinking that maybe it would stop the knocking, it did but now she had to deal with the woman standing beside her bed. The woman who had just thrown her blankets off of her. "What do you think you are doing? The sun is not even up." The woman smirked, which made Crystal jump as the candle light made the woman's face eerie. "Capt'n said it be time for ye to get cookin'. So hop to it wench we're all hungry out there." Crystal just glared at her and she continued to glare even as she was leaving the room. "So you are Anamaria. What are you Jack's whore or something?" Anamaria turned around and just as she was about to smack her Jack came in and grabbed a hold of her arm. "Anamaria on deck now!" She glarred at Jack and back at Crystal. "Ye just watch it wench. I'm no whore, an' I will not take anythin' from ye. Unlike Jack I don' find ye sexy." She marched out of the room with Jack grinning after her. He turned just before leaving. "I take it ye can remember the way to the galley?" Crystal grinned and held her knees to her chest to try her best and cover her nightgown clad body. He smirked after looking her up and down and left.

After dressing in one of her finest pink dresses she had made her way to the galley. And just as the night before she could not figure out what to make. She pulled out a large pot and poured in water to boil. She threw in dried meat and some dried vegetables she had found. After it had boiled she poured it into bowl after bowl and set it on the large table with a huge platter of half dry bread. She had not even time to call the crew when they all came and sat down eating everything with out word. She looked at the dirty and oily crew. It was going to take a lot out of her to fix them up right. Good thing she knew what she was doing. She looked around the room trying to find Jack, but he was no where to be found. "If ye are lookin' for yer precious Capt'n, he eats alone in the Capt'n's dinnin' cabin. He is most likely waitin' for ye to get his food for him." Anamaria sneered at her and walked off with her bowl of soup. She had been right, Jack was in the Captain's dinning cabin waiting for her. She set down the bowl and bread and watched him as he ate. "Aren' ye goin' to eat luv?" She just grinned and sat down next to him as he pushed out the chair. "Next time luv, when ye give me me food, ye bring yer bowl here as well. I don' wan' ye eatin' with me crew." She nodded her head, she figured they were far enough out to sea that she could start to ask questions. "So Jack where are we headed?" She leaned on the table a bit just to soften her look. Jack smirked and leaned over to her. "A port not very far from here. We need to get some supplies. Ye'll like it me thinks." He drank down the last of the soup and kicked his feet up on the table. Crystal sneered a bit but hid it beautifully. "Really, so do I get to leave the ship as well?" Jack smirked at her and pulled a bag from his coat and threw it at her. "Aye ye do, an' ye get some money too. Ye can buy whatever ye want, but if I were ye I would get some sort of clothes ye can work in. I like them but ye can' really work in them to well." Crystal sat back, did he really expect her to wear stuff like that Anamaria character? But then again he said she could buy whatever she wanted, so if she didn't want to buy work clothes she didn't have to. She smiled and tucked the bag of coins into her dress. "Of course Jack." He smiled and stood up. "Well luv, ye best be goin' an' do the washin' up. I will be at the helm if ye need anythin'." With that he walked up on deck leaving Crystal there to go off to wash up the many, many dishes.

----------

A week later

The Pearl had finally sailed into port, it had been a long week and Crystal was quite happy to be able to finally go shopping. In the past week she had been able to at least get the ship spotless, it took two whole days to just clean the galley and she was going to be darned if it was ever going to look like it did when she got there. The ship was in such a mess and the crew even more so, it was hard telling how long it was going to take to make them all into poroper men and well lady as there was Anamaria which Crystal knew was going to take the longest.
"Ye ready luv? It has only been a week, but ye be careful tha' no one sees ye. Ye don' want to be taken back to Port Royal now do ye?" She shook her head and smiled as they all left the ship.
The town was to say the least horrid, it took Crystal forever to find just the right shop. She walked in and smiled at the finely dressed woman at the counter. Crystal started grabbing down item after item, she was going to be darned if she did not get everything on that ship clean and fine.

------------

Jack's POV Jack sauntered back to the Pearl with a huge grin on his face and a few coins lighter in his coin purse. The sun was just rising over the horizon and it was time to head out. He hoped that everything was alright with that new lass Crystal, she was a fine one. But she did not understand the workings of his ship. He had hoped that Anamaria would have explained it all to her, cause he didn't feel like telling such a proper priss why he had stayed out all night. Even if she was trying her hardest to become a pirate. He stepped up on deck and looked around something was not right. He shook it off and went down and banged on Gibbs' door. "Get up man! Get the men sailin' out of Port. I'm tired and goin' to me cabin." Jack yelled at the door hoping that the bloody man heard him. Jack closed his door and plopped down on his bed falling fast asleep.

Jack woke up to find that the ship was moving, he smile at least there was one man on that ship he could count on. He stepped out on deck stopping just at the stairs, something was very wrong. The ship smelled...clean. And not just freshly scrubbed clean, but flowery clean. His eyes went wide as he looked over his crew, or what he thought was his crew. They all looked like the same men, except for the fact that each and every one had bathed and were dressed in fine clothing. "CRYSTAL!" He just knew what had happened, that bloody woman! Crystal pranced up beside him her eyes twinkling in the sunlight. "Yes Jack is something wrong?" She bit her bottom lip and smilled sweetly at him. Jack opened his mouth to say something but found he couldn't speak. Crystal giggled a little and walked closer. "I know I know you can't believe it. I got the whole crew to take a bath. Well guess what..." Jack just stared down at her as she ran her hand over his chest. "It is your turn. Come on now below deck and lets get those dirty old clothes off of you." Jack's eyes went wide as can be, he didn't care if she planned on killing him at that moment. All he could focus on was the last half of what she had said. He followed her down below deck where she had a tub set up. She winked at him and threw him a bar of soap. "And I expect you to wash everywhere, and I mean everywhere I will be checking." She winked and shut the door leaving Jack there open mouthed.

Jack stood out from the bath feeling rather violated. He couldn't believe he let himself get roped into taking a bath. He went to grab his clothes when he realized they were gone and replaced with clean 'proper' clothes. He sneered, when had she done that? He reluctently dressed and stepped out on deck. He thought that there was not one thing that could shock him even more then what had alread happened, but he was very wrong. There standing on port was Anamaria in a long pink dress, a full proper lady dress with a corset and everything. Her hair had been pinned up on her head and small curls daggled down the nape of her neck. He hadn't realized how beautiful she really was. He wondered how Crystal had gotten her to get in that. He walked over to her and stood there as she looked out over the crew with death in her eyes. "Oh Capt'n, ye look um..." Jack raised his brow at the change in Anamaria's expression. "Like a sissy yeah I know." She smiled and turned to look out at sea. "Aye, but a very handsome sissy." Again Jack raised his eyebrow as she walked away. That was just surreal, had she just complamented him? He went to the helm and took over letting the now very clean and oil free Gibbs go off to most likely get drunk.

---------------

A few weeks later

Jack watched as the dock to the port came into veiw. He was glad that he was going to be in Tortuga, at least he would be around pirates that looked like pirates. As long as Crystal let him. She had taken over so much since she boarded the Pearl, she was beautiful yes, but a royal pain in the rear. If it was not for the fact that he wanted to bed her he would have thrown her off the ship by now. He watched as Crystal neared him her shimmering eyes sparkling at him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and let him hold her. She refused to let their relationship go any further then this and a few pecks on the cheek, she was really beginning to kill him. "'ey luv, why don' ye go an' get ye some new clothes while we are in Tortuga, hm?" Jack handed her a purse of coins and she smiled and kissed him on the cheek before running off.

Jack walked around Tortuga trying to find some shop he could get something better to wear then what Crystal had given him. But he had never bought anything other then rum and wenches there and so did not know where to find such places. He began to grow tired and went back to the pearl where he promptly feel asleep. When he woke he found the ship already moving, it was strange as he had not ordered it. He walked out on deck and just about died at what he saw. The sails, all the bloody sails were pink! He stomped over to Crystal who was standing at the helm with Gibbs who was a little cleaner even then yesterday. "Oh hey Jack, here I got you this while we were in Tortuga. I think it will smell wonderful on you." She sprayed him with cologne and smiled at the horrid smell. "Crystal wha' in the world do ye think ye are doin'? Why are me sails pink!" She giggled and handed him back the empty coin purse. "Cause I thought the place needed some lightening up. I think it looks wonderful. So what did you think about your cabin?" Jack just stared at her before widening his eyes and running to his cabin. There he noticed what he had not the night before. It had been cleaned from top to bottom, and everything, curtains, sheets, every single thing was pink. Jack tried not to kill Crystal at that moment, but this was it next stop and she was off. He did not know how much more of this he could take.

--------------

A few days later, close to Port Royal

Jack again stood at the helm, this time though he was not enjoying sailing. He could hear Crystal behind him but refused to look around at the wench who had caused so much problems. But he soon found it necessary to turn around as he heard loud splashes coming from starboard. "Wha' the bloody hell ye think ye are doin', ye bloody woman!" He ran after her as she unloaded the last of the rum into the salty sea. "Vile stuff, it was time to get rid of it. From now on it will be tea." She smiled and Jack, though not for hitting women, wanted to smack her right there. He drew his pistol and pointed it at her. "Ye know when ye turned yer room pink tha' was fine it was yer room. Then I could put up with the baths an' the clothes mainly 'cause ye got Anamaria in a dress. Then I even was thinkin' 'bout overlookin' the whole pink sails an' turnin' me cabin pink. But I can' an' I mean really really can' overlook ye throwin' me rum over board. Tha' be the last straw lass, ye are gone. YE DON' TOUCH ME RUM!" Jack marched off to the helm and made as fast as he could to Port Royal.

Jack pulled Crystal with him down the streets of Port Royal till he came to a bunch of Navy men. They looked at Jack and drew there guns ready to fire. Jack smirked and pushed Crystal at them. "'ere ye can 'ave her. We don' wan' her." Jack marched off back to the Pearl with the largest grin on his face. Maybe he would not tell Anamaria that Crystal had left yet, at least not for a couple more days.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Ok this was just a short story I wrote for fun, it really did not turn out how I wanted. The jokes just did not fall through to me. But as long as you all like it that is enough for me. So tell me what you think, I would love to know.