Part 1
I woke up screaming again
Only this time I didn't splooge muh jammie bottoms. I had that dream again. The dream about that fucking room. The blood and bone and flesh strewn about, the hooks, the pictures, and that fucking girl. Tied to the bed, naked as a fucking newborn, missing teeth, missing fingers and toes, and her arms and legs twisted like they were goddamn twizzlers. And the smell, that damn smell, I haven't been able to count change since that day, the smell of pennies reminds me of the blood. I got up, put on my night fedora, grabbed my emergency blunt. And walked outside to ponder what to do with myself. I don't know why the girl had been getting under my skin so much recently. It had been over a year since we crossed over into their world. I mean shit, they didn't even look like us.
I snickered "they sure as shit bled like us." I have really turned numb recently. And not just from being edgy, like legit, PTSD numb. When I rescued Gordon all those years ago, I didn't expect to be carrying bodies out of basements. It wasn't what I had signed up to do. After I finished my blunt I thought to myself and finally decided….it was time for me to leave Gordon. He would have to find a new number 3. I called Keem to tell him the news, but all I got was a dialtone. I wondered what Gordon was doing.
"NO NO NO NO NOOOOO" Gordon screamed. "I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL TURN YOU INTO FUCKING SHITE." The monks scrambled around the temple grabbing ingredients while wearing blue and red uniforms. Gordon knew the purity of the previous batch of sacred sauce would be near impossible to match, but he was sure as shit gonna try. He watched as the monks ran about mixing. Until finally...a group of monks walked up to him with sauce. They got on their knees, bowed their heads, and raised the sauce up for Gordon to judge. Gordon slowly took the sauce from the head monks hands. Dipped his fingers in it, and shoved his finger right up his asshole. He tasted the sauce with his prostate, and was pleased.
"It doesn't hold a candle to the Original sauce, but it'll work, EVERYONE ON THE OPPOSING TEAMS GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GODDAMN TEMPLE. MOOOOOOOVE" Gordon took out his sauce necklace, the same one he used to resurrect Keem, and filled it back up.
"Here, take this to the chamber, and fucking lock it this time." the monks did as they were told and scurried on. Gordon sat in the main chamber and looked out the window to the storm gathering in the distance. The air had a certain electricity, Gordon could feel it….something was wrong.