Fragile Veins

Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement intended.

This is a PART of my entry for the Light the Darkness contest. Thanks to all those involved in the contest, the judges that spent hours reading, to the lovely banner/blinkie makers for the gorgeous banners and to validators and secret keepers. It was an inspiring contest.

Chapter One

Edward

I'd been living in Forks, Washington for over three months, and it was my senior year in high school. I'm over the move from Chicago, well mostly.

Alice, my younger sister, had gotten involved with a fucking teacher at our former school. The teacher resigned and every student was on her ass for it. For months, we lived with the rumors and shit they said and did to humiliate her more.

That, of course, had me reacting to their nasty words with my fists. She's my sister no matter what.

I made my family suffer before the move. I was fucking pissed all the time, taking it out on everyone. I drank, started smoking and I was arrested. I changed. I went from the softhearted, trusting friend everyone could count on and liked, to the loner that was suspicious of everybody. The rumors and crap spewed by the students at my old high school had made me into that person.

Another think I learned from that experience was that I was dangerous.

The rainy town wasn't bad once I made friends with the neighbors, who had two kids my age. Their father was the police chief, and after dad explained my arrest, he seemed okay with me. I was defending Alice and he knew his adopted son, Emmett, would do the same for his sister Bella.

Since Alice attended a private school, I was fucking grateful that I had already met Bella and Emmett when school started. No one there bothered to talk to me on my first day. Maybe because the news about Alice's extra-curricular activities and my arrest followed us thanks to the social media and my fucking ex-girlfriend, Heidi.

She's the one that told everyone about Alice and that fuck, Mr. Whitlock. I didn't give a shit about the other students, or trust them. Despite the anger and lack of trust, Emmett and Bella made it easy to be friends. Charlie and Emmett helped me channel my anger through fixing shit. Bella had bought a truck that needed work only a week before I moved to Forks.

We started working on it the day we met.

After three months, it's finally ready now.

Bella's fucking giddy, as she jumps behind the wheel of the rusty, red beast. "I'm so excited." She gives me a toothy grin. She has these pretty, little white teeth, one slightly crooked, framed by full, pale pink lips. She slaps a loose strand of dark hair from her face.

"You would be," I say. It's hard to remain aloof when she's so fucking close. She smells good. It's something sweet since she bakes all the time. Sugary and delicious; it's torture.

She's one of my best friends and that's how it has to stay.

Emmett is, too, but nothing compared to Bella. He doesn't get the books I like to read or my music choices, while she shares the same interests. If not, she's always willing to give something new a try. I love that about her. I don't let my attraction show, since I'm not stupid.

I don't date. I decide to play it safe. It's for the best. After all the shit I've gone through in the last year, I can't handle losing her right now.

"Can you blame me?" She rubs her hands together in glee. Her eyes are a rich hazel that glosses over when she's happy. It's hard to look away when they're like that. "I'm stuck getting rides in that monstrosity Emmett drives and have sprained my ankle getting off it one too many times."

Her truck isn't that much smaller, but I don't say shit. This is Bella, and she enjoys her independence. Emmett isn't the most reliable person either. Last month, I had to pick her up from work because he forgot.

I remember the last time she sprained her ankle perfectly. Emmett had offered me a ride to school on my first day, since my car needed a new fuel pump. Bella joined us, and she was all blushes and smiles as she climbed in the back on that first day. I had to help her up and it was the first time I touched her.

Let me just say that it was not easy to hide my reaction to that touch.

When we arrived at school, Emmett distracted me and Bella stumbled out of the jeep. She skinned her knee and I yelled at her for not waiting. She had hurt herself, and before she could say a word, I carried her to the nurse's office. She didn't talk to me for the rest of the day for lashing out.

Silent treatments suck. I've learned to never make her wait.

She's a bit impatient, but she fucking denies it.

Since then, there's been this need to touch her all the time. She never sees it as anything but friendly, and I keep doing it. Sometimes it's torture to have her fingers in my hair, or her head on my shoulder, but I couldn't give it up.

"I offered you a ride to school once," I point out.

Her eyes narrow. "Well, I thought three's a crowd then."

Ah, she's talking about my short-lived, completely regrettable relationship with Lauren Mallory when I first moved here. It never amounted to anything and she knows that, so why the attitude?

Does that mean she's jealous?

It's wishful thinking, besides you can't go there.

"Well, if you had, maybe I wouldn't have kept giving her rides," I say, wiggling my eyebrows. I shouldn't have said it, but I always do this shit to keep her from guessing how I feel.

She eyes me for a second, and I do not understand the look in them before she turns away. "Ugh, you're disgusting."

"It was nothing."

"Whatever."

I definitely detect anger in her voice. I could explain that the thing with Lauren was a way to get off, since I couldn't have her. That would make me more disgusting in her eyes. I'm not exactly proud of myself for it, but it is what it is.

Something else is holding me back from telling her the truth, and I have a feeling it's more than worrying about our friendship. I refuse to analyze that shit.

"Bella," I groan. "Can we just forget that shit ever happened?"

"It's hard. It feels like it was practically last week."

Lauren hates Bella since I stopped seeing her, and it's because of me. Then again, Lauren is a bitch and hates anyone that gets more attention than she does. And Bella gets plenty of attention. My hands clench at the thought.

"It lasted two weeks," I say. "That shit in the hall at school last week was Lauren reminding me what I'm missing. Trust me, it's nothing special."

Her nose wrinkles, but her lips twitch into smile. "Her tits are crooked."

I choke and sputter, looking at her as if she had to fucking heads. "I can't believe you said 'tits.'"

She rolls her eyes, smiling at me again. "Ready?"

That's a loaded question. I play it safe, as always. "Sure. Where to?"

"Wherever the road may lead us," she says, all breath and purr, giggling when I groan. Fuck, that voice kills me. She starts the engine, bouncing happily.

Fuck, I'd do anything for her, just to see her that damn happy all the time.

She pats the dashboard. "Thank you, Big Bertha."

"That's the name you chose?"

She only nods and she puts the truck in reverse. I try not to laugh as she concentrates to back out, the tip of her tongue poking out as she steadily presses the gas.

"Shut up," she growls playfully when I laugh.

I fasten my seatbelt. As much shit she gave her brother about his driving habits, she has some bad ones, too. She takes turns too fast. I switch on the new stereo, the one I bought her. She complained about the cost for a second when I gave it to her, but she admitted that she loved it a minute later.

Tapping her fingers along to the music, Bella pulls on the road. "Ho hey," she sings, taking a turn onto a dirt road minutes later. I grab hold of the handle over the door, hanging on for dear life. Dirt is spitting out behind us, dust everywhere.

Fuck, she's crazy. She's my kind of crazy.

Within minutes, I figure out where we're going. It's our place.

When I moved here, I explored the town and found it. It's an old treehouse in the middle of a meadow, on this huge lone tree. It was falling apart, with rotting wood and peeling paint, but we fixed it up. It's our place to hang out when we wanted a little peace, and to get away from the pressure of high school and family.

We hit the end of the road and exit the truck. The hike to the meadow is relatively quiet. I help Bella over tree roots and large boulders, and under low hanging branches that threaten to scratch her.

I walk ahead for a bit, but I feel a hard tug when she catches one of my suspenders that are hanging loosely from my pants.

"What the fuck?" I ask, barely catching myself before I fall. She shrugs innocently, bumping my shoulder. The brat takes off running and laughing. I follow her, allowing her to win. It gives me a reason to watch her climb the ladder, in case she falls. I also like to watch her cute ass in her skinny jeans.

"I win," she says, offering me a wink before she heads up the ladder. I barely contain a groan when her ass comes into view. Halfway up, she nearly loses her footing, catching the edge of one of the rungs along the front of her calf. "Ow."

Damn, she'll get a bruise from that.

I place my hand on the small of her back, making sure she doesn't fall. "You okay, klutzy?" I ask. It'll piss her off enough to forget the pain. Besides, she's fucking cute when she's pissed.

"Stop being an asshole," she hisses, trying to stomp on my fingers.

"I can't do that. It's a part of my sparkling personality. You love me anyway."

"Keep it up, Edward," she says, trying to kick me again. Laughing, I grab her ankle, making her hold onto the tree for dear life and scream. She's so small, a whole foot shorter than my six-foot-three. I have a good hold of her, but she doesn't know that. "Let go!"

I do, and laugh, patting her ass affectionately. She curses. I know she's blushing like crazy, but can't see it. It's a shame, too. She makes it up, closing the trap door behind her, and standing on it.

"No boys allowed!" She stomps twice. She'll get over it. She can't hold a grudge with me for long. I grab the knotted rope nearby, climbing onto the recently added balcony.

I find her sitting against a wall of the small structure, shivering. It's fucking November, so it's damn cold. I sit across from her, my legs and hers stretching out between us. She doesn't say a word, her eyes close as she rests the back of her head against the wall.

Something's up; why else would she come up here?

"What is it, Bella?" I ask when I can't take the silence anymore. A part of me doesn't want to know the answer, since she's been acting weird all week.

"My dad had me apply to Berkley." She'll be accepted. She has straight A's and because that's how shitty my luck is lately.

Fuck, all the way to California, where I couldn't follow. My family isn't made of money. They had some, but with mom's early retirement and the move, I know they can't afford tuition out of state. My grades turned to shit with all the crap in Chicago, so that means no scholarship.

I clear my throat after a while. "That's fucking great, Bella. Sunny California." The words feel like ash in my mouth.

She's leaving you behind. She has no reason to stay. She doesn't give a shit about you. I know my thoughts are false, but they've been there since everything with my ex went down.

Bella only hums in response. I have to look at her, and when I do, she's staring at our boots, only an inch or so away from each other. She playfully touches her much smaller soles against mine, and pushes. I can't resist a chance to eliminate the tension after her news and did the same. We play like that for a bit and end up laughing.

"Come here," she says softly, her eyes on me. "Warm me up." She shivers, which means she's fucking cold. It's not as if we've never hugged and shit before. I'm not stupid enough to deny her.

It's too cold to get hard anyway.

Well, maybe.

Fuck it. I can't let her freeze.

I get up and walk over, and as she looks up at me, I can see down her blue shirt. Fuck, she's beautiful and now I can't join her.

She'll fucking notice. The cold has nothing on the blood rushing south.

I guess I take too long to sit, and the next thing I know, I'm practically on her lap. I grumble and she laughs, releasing my suspenders with a snap. She starts combing her fingers through my hair. I sigh and stay there, lying on my back with my head on her thighs. My eyes close from the gentle tugs. It feels good, but my mind is reeling with the thought that she'll leave me one day.

I open my eyes to find hers staring blankly ahead, lost in her own thoughts. "Mind if I smoke?" I ask. She only shakes her head, continuing to play with my hair. Every few passes, her nails scratch just so, and it's hard not to groan. She has no idea what it does to me.

"Do your dragon face," she orders after a minute of silence passes. That shit is not rare for us. We often enjoy it as much as when we're listening to music.

"Yes, boss." I roll my eyes and do it anyway. My eyes close as I inhale deeply, holding it in, and scrunch my brow for the full effect as I blow the smoke out my nose.

I hear her giggle and I can't help but to open my eyes to look at her. She's wearing a huge smile, laughing. She's so fucking close to my face. Her pretty eyes and full lips are fucking irresistible to the point that I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from pulling her down for a kiss.

"Get out," I grumble playfully, gently pushing her back. I only do it to keep myself from making a fantasy a reality. "Charlie is going to smell that shit in your hair and I'll never hear the end of it." She only shrugs and goes back to running her fingers through my hair.

I'm almost finished with my cigarette when she puts two of her fingers against my lips. I don't look at her, because this is new and nerve-racking. Never mind that my body fucking loves it. I take one last pull, my lips puckering against her skin, as if it's a kiss. She lingers and when she pulls away, I lick my lips for a taste of her.

I want more, but I won't ask for it.

"Are we going to be okay?" she asks several minutes later. I'm almost asleep. There's a hazy quality to her face as I open my eyes. She's trying to ruin my day with a question I don't want to think about, but she's waiting.

"We'll always be friends." I pull one of her hands from my hair, playing with her fingers. They're long, delicate, and topped with short-clipped nails. I can't help where my mind goes, imaging them digging into my back. My jaw clenches at the images in my head. I concentrate on something else. The tips of her fingers are soft, just like other parts of her. That's not fucking helping. "No matter where you are," I add for her benefit and mine.

You'll never see her again. My thoughts will haunt me for the rest of the day, probably more if I let myself think about it. I don't know what I'm more pissed off about—her for leaving or myself for thinking I'll never see her.

"You're dumb," she says and I can see she's serious. "Why won't you let me in?"

I look away, dropping her hand quickly. She places it on my chest. There, she can feel how my heart's beating too fast, too hard. She knows she's freaking me out, but doesn't take back the question.

"What are you gonna make for dinner tonight?" I ask to change topics. "You're still feeding pore ol' me, right?" She sees right through me, the hand in my hair tightens briefly. She would never take my shit sitting down. "Mind if I smoke again?"

I don't bother to wait for her reply, going for my smokes in my shirt pocket. Her arm is in the way, but I stop moving when her pretty, little fingertips move to the undone button on my shirt, playing with the hairs, touching skin.

I shiver; there's no way to hide that shit from her. She takes it as an invitation to continue, but I stop her, pulling her hand away and pressing a kiss to her palm and placing it beside her hip on the floor, away from me.

She pushes me off her.

We can't go there, even if I can taste it and want it so fucking desperately. We can't. It will ruin everything.

I'm against the wall again. Our legs stretched out, except our feet don't touch now. They mark the distance of the walls I've placed between us. It's too much space. Yet, it's the safest place for her to be. This time the silence is too much and I hate it.

From the drop of her shoulders, I know I've hurt her. I want to close my eyes, so I don't have to see her pain. I don't. The hurt in them will help remind me why we can't cross the line.

"I'm not her," she says firmly.

She's not Heidi. I know she isn't, but I'm afraid she could become like her. Besides, I could hurt her much worse if we cross the line between us. I tilt my head back and say nothing. I have no comforting words to give her.

"You don't talk about your friends back in Chi—"

"I don't have friends back there," I hiss, regretting that I've given her something.

"You don't date," she continues. "You only fuck."

I give her nothing, lighting up again and taking in a deep pull. I look at her. Her eyes are on her lap. See, I tell myself, you're only capable of hurting her. It'll be worse if she's truly yours.

"You only talk to me and Emmett," she says, as she tries to rub her arms for warmth. I should be beside her, providing it. "Even then, you share nothing about your past."

"You fucking know what happened in Chicago," I growl as I bang my head once against the wall, looking away.

"I know what happened with Alice, that's it." For a few moments, she says nothing more. I want to run, but can't leave her here. I'm not that big of an asshole. "But I don't know what happened to you."

"Nothing," I hiss, as smoke curls from my mouth. She sighs and the creak from the floor captures my attention. Through the smoke, I can see she's on her hands and knees, crawling toward me. She's determined. I can see it in her eyes. She seeks answers, not knowing the box she wants to open is as dark as Pandora's.

She slides up my thighs and onto my lap. A position we've been in before, but not this close or completely facing me.

My forehead falls on her shoulder as I exhale. Smoke swirls out from between my lips, and this time, it touches her skin, marring the pale, freckled perfection.

I put out my smoke on the floor beside my hip. My hand curves along her waist, she's fucking warm. I can't resist her, but I have to try to stop her. She deserves more.

"Drop it," I whisper.

"Tell me," she murmurs. Her lips are on my temple, and I can feel the vibrations of her words, inducing another shiver of desire. It's not a good time to think with my dick, she's my best friend. She deserves better.

"Why is it so important to you?" I ask, afraid of the answer. She shifts, and if she feels my reaction to her closeness, she doesn't fucking show it.

"Whatever happened, it makes you not fully trust me."

"I trust you." My answer was too quick, too firm. It's not a complete lie. The truth guts me. I want to tell her everything.

Her hands run up my arms to keep me warm. "It also doesn't let you see what's right in front of you," she whispers.

Confusion has me pulling back to see her face. Her eyes have a sheen to them. Fuck, I can't handle tears. "What do you mean?"

She huffs, as her cheeks turn pink. "Me, Edward."

No. To know that she wants me like I want her, makes this harder. "No, Bella." I shake my head.

The denial nearly scalds my tongue, throat, and chest. She places her hands on each side of my face so I can't look away. I want to curse, and bitch, and lash out. Its Bella, though, and I can't do that to her.

Do it before she hurts you. She'll do more damage than Heidi ever could. "Not her," I hiss, more at myself.

"I'm not her," she says, pressing a kiss to each of my closed eyes. I shiver, wishing she was this close for another reason, but that's a defensive mechanism. She deserves nothing less than the truth.

My hands take a hold of her hips, as I breathe in deeply. "I trust you."

"Good," she replies.

Memories parade through my mind. I can still hear the whispers and hisses that filled the hallways every time either of us walked through them.

"I was practically a nobody in school. Probably because I hated sports," I say. She nods. "Yeah, I know, I'm lazy. Whatever." My fingers tighten on her hips. She settles against me and her hands fall onto my shoulders.

I can't keep eye contact. If I do, I'll probably fucking run. It takes a while for me to start again. All the while, she's soothing me with her touch.

"School over there is different," I start again. "It's fucking huge compared to the dinky little school here." She tenses at the insult, but says nothing. "I had friends, plenty of them. I was easy to talk to and reliable if someone needed something.

"For months, there were rumors about one of the young teachers dating someone, but no one knew who it was."

She nods, her fingers tracing shapes on my skin, on my chest, a four-leaf clover, the first letter in my name, and a heart. It makes me shiver, especially when she starts a "B."

"Eventually, someone thought it was a student," she guesses.

I have to breathe in deeply to calm down as I nod. I feel the rage building again. I realize that it's not safe for Bella to be so damn close, but I can't force myself to push her off, so I keep going.

"I should've fucking known right then that it was Alice. She was too quiet about the whole thing. Before this, if she wasn't listening to the gossip, she was telling it. You know?"

A look of confusion comes over her. "I don't get that vibe from her."

"Not anymore. She barely talks to us, but she wasn't always like that. She was a fucking chatterbox and outgoing. She was more popular than I was."

"Okay, so someone found out it was her."

"Because of me," I say, my fingers now digging into her hips. Her hands fall to my wrists, closing around them. They're manacles of soft skin and strength, tightening and telling me it's not okay to hurt her.

My body listens and loosens its grip. My dark thoughts surprisingly quiet.

I count until I can breathe again. Her soft voice is soothing against my ear. I want to turn, to feel her lips on mine. I won't go there. There's still too much to say, and there are lines I'm not ready to cross.

"I was fucking stupid. The hottest girl in school asks me out and I think I'm the luckiest asshole alive." I laugh, though it's far from cheerful.

She notices, of course, forcing me to look at her. I don't want to go further, but her eyes ask for all of it. They turn the wall between us to dust.

I feel her body shake from the cold and I wrap my arms around her, only it's not her shaking. It's me.

"She used me and let me fuck her so she could come over to my house. I'd gone outside for a smoke," I clear my throat, uncomfortable with the words on my lips. "I left in her my bed, thought she'd fallen asleep. She snuck into Alice's room and found shit to incriminate her and the teacher while I was gone."

"The bitch," she nearly growls. I rub the back of her neck to soothe her when she starts to shake with anger. "Tell me you did something about it when you found her."

She's fucking pissed, as if she's feeling everything I do. I can't help but pull her closer. I don't want that shit for her. The hug, my touch seems to work to calm her down.

"I didn't know, Bella." She sighs as she rests her head on my shoulder, melting against me. I'm shaking again, because the rest is so fucking bad. "I got back to my room to find her waiting for me, and another round."

From the pinched look on her face, I know she doesn't like to hear about shit like that. I wouldn't want to hear about her and her asshole ex, either. I know enough about the asshole that if I ever saw him, I'd take a few swings at him.

My fingers reach for my smokes again. I pull out the pack, only to have her grab them and put one to my lips. Eye to eye, I can see the desire in hers, before she tries to hide it. How had I not seen it before?

You didn't want to see it. The voice in my head is only a whisper.

She shifts enough to grab my lighter from the front pocket of my jeans. I groan at the slight graze of her fingers along my length. It takes considerable strength not to kiss her right now. The timing is off and I can't risk it, even now, as the words continue, unbidden.

"She was gone when I woke up. She didn't answer any of my calls and texts for the rest of the weekend. By Monday, the pictures Alice had and parts of her diary were all over the school, Facebook, and Twitter."

"Did you know then that it was her?" she asks.

"No. Some of the guys were giving me shit and someone said that Alice and the teacher were pulled out of their classes by the end of first hour." I take a long drag. The fingers of my free hand tap a rhythm on her hip. "My parents showed up and it was like their appearance confirmed everything." My words are rushing out of me now. There's no stopping them. "I could see Alice through the window of the office. She was in fucking tears.

"I lost my shit after that. I wanted to know who the bitch was that fucking ruined my sister's life. I start taking down every printed picture I saw. That's when I saw it. A fucking line went through the pages. I'd seen it before on a paper she had me edit for her. They were from her fucking printer."

Bella hisses as angry as I am, but I keep going.

"I sought Heidi out and found her with her friends at lunch, all high and mighty, filing her nails. The walk through the cafeteria was brutal. No one touched me, but the words I heard felt like fists. It was a gauntlet."

I shudder, the memories too vivid in my head. It's almost as if I'm there again.

"I stood in front for, accusing her of stealing shit from Alice's room, of ruining her life. She fucking laughed at me, Bella." My head falls back and bang it twice on the wall until she stops me. Her hands are on the back of my head, and the move brings her that much closer to me.

The thing is I can't even get it up anymore. That's how much the shit fucked with my head.

I continue, bitterly spitting out the words. "Heidi fucking admitted it and she didn't stop there. She said she thought she'd seen Alice with him at some nightclub and she was determined to prove it. She actually sat there and told me she used me."

"She's a bitch," Bella whispers. "She sounds like a spiteful bitch that thrived on another's misery."

"Yeah," I say, lost as her fingers curl in my hair and her forehead touches mine.

"Is there more?"

I nod. She knows some of what happened next, because it was all part of my arrest. Alice and I had gone to a party away from the city, both needing a break from all the crap. There were a few recognizable faces, and we should've left then, but my sister wanted to find an old friend before we did.

I tell Bella all this, and the rest. How I found her, whimpering with that dickhead, Royce, Heidi's fucking brother, practically plastered to her. I'd gone into a rage, my vision coloring to a violent red as tears slipped down Alice's cheek.

It wasn't long before there was blood on my hands.

"I don't even remember beating him," I say. "One second, I'm watching him grope her chest and the next I'm being pulled off by four people, and he's this bloody thing on the floor.

"They held me down until the cops showed up. They released me after some witnesses admitted that I was defending Alice. Royce's family eventually dropped the charges to protect the family from what he tried to do. That shit still haunts her and me. He could do it to someone else.

"My parents had to give up good jobs because shit got worse," I continue, my voice hoarse from emotional exhaustion. "They had us so young, and we're not rich. They had to use a lot of Mom's 401k to make the move."

"That's not all of it."

I shake my head, wishing I didn't have to continue.

"Heidi found out where we were moving to, and found a way to spread the rumors about the new architect and his family that was moving into town. I found out, Alice was in hysterics at the thought of going to public school here."

"That's why she's going to the private school in Port Angeles." I nod in response. "What did you do?"

"I found Heidi walking out of this store and told her off, not giving a fuck who was nearby, but she was alone. I was so pissed that my hand was in the air, ready to hit her. Fuck, I wanted to choke her."

The words choke me.

I remember how close I was to hitting her and it sends me to my feet without thinking. I can barely breathe. Bella's on her ass, looking up at me, but she's not afraid.

She's not anything.

There's no emotion on her face. That scares me more.

"I can't do this," I hiss and scramble toward the trap door. She calls out my name; it's a cry, and it cuts me again, heart, mind, soul. I don't wait for more, afraid of what she might think, and what she might say.

Once I'm off the tree, I hit the ground running.

AN: I'm separating this in parts, mainly because of the word limit I had cut a considerable amount from the original. I might even continue the story after the complete one-shot is posted. Thanks to kyla713 for your help with this :)