First fan-fic ever. Please I'm begging you try and leave me in one piece, but still I hope you enjoy it. xxx
D/C: All of NANA is (c) to Ai Yazawa's brilliant imagination and creativity.
Well, at least the room looked the same, Hachi thought, as she pushed open the door struggling under the weight of the excess baggage she was holding. There was one problem though: The room didn't feel the same.
Out of reminiscing and superstition, she could not resist checking the cupboard above the kitchen sink. Yes, the strawberry glass was still there. Just the one, it lost it's other half a long time ago.
Hachi wandered in and out of the two bedrooms, gazing at the faded rectangle on her wall where the Trapnest poster had been. Eventually, exhaustion got the better of her, and she collapsed on the seat next to the long table, and gazed out of the window- into the night sky. It was almost painful to wait, but she was intent on listening for the sound of a car pulling up, or footsteps in the corridor, or the turn of the key in the lock – anything.
Three hours later- it was no use. She crawled into bed. Nobody had owned the apartment since her and Nana, and as a result of the two women's regretful but quick departure, some things were left behind- including mattresses and sheets. This was difficult for to say the least, as the smells that used to be so familiar to her, came flooding back instantly; including the sweet smell of Nana's cigarettes.
She fell asleep unsettled, and some time later was stirred by the trudge of heavy boots on the apartment floor and the familiar "clink" of a metal lighter. Hachi rose up from the bed slowly, wrapping the dressing gown swiftly around her.
For a moment she stared at the weary figure in the shadows, as her face lit up from the glow of the cigarette. She desperately needed this rare moment, while Nana didn't notice her presence – just to see Nana as she was. No smiles, no walls – utterly defenceless.
"Nana…" Whispered Hachi softly through the darkness.
Nana took a long drag of her cigarette and stepped towards her. "Hachiko… I- I didn't see you there," Nana stammered while dashing the tears desperately away from her eyes.
"It's okay…" Hachi reassured her gently as she enveloped Nana in her arms. Hachi couldn't help but feel shocked at how cold Nana was, as the rain water off her leather jacket absorbed itself into the warmth of the dressing gown.
Nana began to shake. "I just… I… I- I don't know where I belong anymore, Hachiko…"
Hachi felt Nana grip the lapels of her dressing gown tightly, as she began to sob painfully and heavily.
"Can I get you anything…?" Hachi questioned restlessly, "I mean- Hachi stopped as Nana picked her head up, shocked at what she saw. Tears welled up in her eyes as Hachi realised what she was looking at – a broken soul. Nana's face was pale, gaunt and despairing. "I think you should try and get some sleep," said Hachi answering her own question.
Nana nodded, listless, then mumbled, "Please stay with me… I- I can't be alone… Not tonight, not right now."
"I won't leave you." Hachi said, appearing calm on the outside, and wanting to scream on the inside. She couldn't bear to see Nana like this. It went against everything she had previously known to be true. Nana was the strong one. Nana was the charismatic and confident one. The helpless person that now stood in front of her, she failed to recognise.
Hachi walked Nana to her room, holding her up, as if the misery was a weight that was pulling her down.
Nana curled up on the bed in the foetal position, and began to shiver once more. "We need to get you under the covers," Hachi said quietly. She tucked Nana in and took the damp jacket off from her shoulders, in an attempt to make her as warm as possible. Hachi hung the jacket on the bedroom door and shut it slowly, then walked back over to Nana's beside and sat on the edge of the bed. She stared into the blackness, tears running down her face, not knowing how she was going to take care of her. She was stirred from this frightening thought when Nana stammered faintly:
"H- Hachiko, w-would you hold me?"
Hachi didn't answer, but there was no debate, of course she would. She crept into bed, and lay next to Nana, holding her. Since they last met, Nana had got drastically thinner, almost to the point of ill-health. She seemed so fragile, and as Nana breathed unevenly, Hachi could feel her ribs, even through the layers of clothing.
Nana started crying heavily, and Hachi's heart ached for her friend. It was almost as if every tear was causing her pain. Hachi started to recall something that happened a few years ago, the time when she chose Takumi over Nobu, and how Nana was in the position that she was lying in now.
Hachi was startled from the memory when she felt Nana grab her hand sharply. "H- He was the only one that really u- understood…" Nana began shakily. "Ren w- was the only one who could ever really love me… And now h- he's just gone… I – I can't breathe Hachiko, it's like I …C- can't breathe…I- I have no-one that's mine anymore…" A fear began to engulf Nana, she hadn't had a panic attack since leaving the apartment some time ago.
"Shh… Shh …" Hachi whispered in an anxious effort to curb it. "Listen to me," she said gently, "you are loved by all your friends, we are your family, we love you so much Nana…"
Out of pure desperation, Hachi could only do one thing. She moved slightly closer to Nana and began to hum "Broken Rose" softly, rocking her gently to the rhythm of the song. It was similar to how she used to send Satsuki to sleep when she was just a baby, and gradually a familiar maternal instinct took over and seemed to make things a little easier- for both of them. Nana eventually fell asleep in her arms.
--
Six months passed in room 707 and now it was the last day of summer. Hachi woke up to the sound of Nana's mobile, and rubbed her eyes as she watched Nana walk into the bedroom, and answer it eagerly:
"Hello, Yasu?"
Come back to Osaka, Nana. We have to celebrate.
The next moment there was an immensely high-pitched scream of excitement. Hachi jumped, startled, and the next thing she knew was being dragged quickly out of bed by Nana.
"Hachi you'll never guess what Yasu just told me," Nana exclaimed, exultant and grinning.
"What?" Hachi questioned, her eyes widening as the excitement infected her too.
"Y'know the record company I was on about? They finally signed me! And my first solo album that I recorded will be released on Christmas Eve! Oh my God, that's all I've ever dreamed about, is a Christmas release!"
"That's fantastic!" Hachi added, "I'm so proud of you! We should all celebrate."
"See that's the thing" Nana began slowly, "Yasu wants me to go back to Osaka as soon as I can, are you alright to leave as soon as possible?"
"Yeah that's fine, just let me get my- Hachi was interrupted by her mobile this time: "Hi hi! Nana desu-
Mummy, please come home, Daddy and me miss you…
There was a loud clatter, as the phone slipped from Hachi's hand and hit the floor. Her eyes glazed over with tears.
"What?" Nana said, turning around half-expectant, and then stared at the phone when she heard a little voice:
Mummy…? Mummy please, it's not fair, Daddy doesn't read bed-time stories as good as you…
There was a short, but very tangible silence that hung in the air between the two women. Hachi knelt down slowly and picked up the phone:
"Yes Satsuki, Mummy's here… I'm leaving now." Nana and Hachi exchanged looks I'll see you tonight I promise, tell Daddy for me that I love him."
And me!
"Yes, and you sweetie, I love you all the way to the moon and back again. How's that?" Nana watched the tears falling down Hachi's cheeks, but her voice didn't falter. "I love you, I'll see you later- bye!"
As soon as Hachi closed the phone shut she expelled a breath that she'd been holding. She turned to find Nana staring at her, and for a while she stared back with the same intensity. Nana coughed sharply, almost expectantly, then walked briskly out of the room, flicking open her lighter as she did so.
"Nana!" Hachi called, now slightly distressed, following her swiftly out of the room. "Listen to me," she said, sniffing then wiping the tears away, "I- I just…" Hachi's voice cracked.
"I get it, it was wrong of me to keep you here, you have a family. I respect that." Nana answered, acting in her usual defensive manner.
"It's not like that! I…," replied Hachi, who was now angry at herself for lacking in expression when she needed it the most as she walked towards Nana. "I… have to get my stuff." She said hanging her head.
Nana shrugged apathetically, took a drag of her cigarette and answered, "If that's what you want."
Hachi gritted her teeth as she felt more tears starting to form, then started to pack.
When she finished she stood by the threshold of the door, completely torn in two. She looked at Nana who was now sat on the long table looking out through the window.
Nana was taken away from her thoughts by the sound of Hachi picking up her apartment key. Nana slid quickly off the table top, and walked towards her in a certain detached fashion. By then it was too late and Hachi was already crying, tears running off the tip of her nose and hitting the apartment floor as she stared at the surface.
Nana placed her index finger gently under Hachi's chin and lifted it slowly, until they were at eye-level. "Y'know sweet-heart, one day you will choke on all the words you never said to me, I just wanted you to realise that…" And with that, Nana turned back to the window. She questioned from a distance "You will see me at Christmas, when it starts to snow?"
"Always..." Hachi called weakly back to her, closing the apartment door behind her as she went.
--
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Was the collective and slightly drunken shout from Nobu, Yasu, Shin, Misato and Nana. Shin had already had far too many, and was stumbling across 707's floor with Nobu, in an attempt to teach him how to waltz.
"I'm boooooooooored." Nobu slurred. "Hey, hey Shin I got a better idea! Lemme see just how good ya are at Mahjong when ya pissed! You're so not gonna win!"
Shin rolled his eyes but humoured Nobu, who was now grinning manically as he reached for the board.
"Congratulations Nana!" Chorused Yasu and Misato. "Seriously," added Yasu, "Black-Stones lead singer did us proud," he said with his trademark smile of utmost sincerity.
"Yeah!" Misato added smiling, "but…" She added quickly, pouting, "where is Hachiko? She was meant to be here hours ago right?"
"Yeah," Nana agreed "But- Hey how 'bout a song?" She asked while ruffling Misato's hair.
"Why not?" said Misato giggling.
"Hey," Nobu butted in, "Nana y'know I love you, but, you singing when you're pissed it's-
"Hey Nobu?!" Nobu jumped back in the seat in fear when he realised that Nana was already standing on top of the table, glaring down at him. "If I wanna sing I'll sing damnit! Tell me…" Said Nana, tightening her eyes and grinning evilly, "who has the new record deal?"
"Y-you do…" Nobu mumbled nervously.
"Louder, I can't hear you!" Nana demanded.
"YOU DO!" Nobu yelled half-irritated, half-laughing.
"Exactly," Nana finished, smug and pouting comically.
Nobu sighed, rising from the seat to get his guitar.
"1, 2, 3 and!" Shin yelled drunkenly, sloshing around a can of beer that he was holding as he counted Nana and Nobu in.
No sooner had Nobu strummed the first chord, than the apartment door swung open. "Hachiko!" Nana yelled as she took a running jump off the table top, tackling Hachi and everything that she was carrying, to the floor. "New plan guys!" Nana shouted, while sitting on top of her, "Let's get Hachi absolutely smashed! We're all ahead of her and it sucks! Get her a drink!"
Nana looked back down on Hachi, who was now failing to breathe due to laughter.
"Sorry," Nana apologised; now laughing with her friend. "Let me help you up."
"I brought booze." Hachi added smiling sweetly. "Good thing too- I bet all Nobu brought was beer," she said giggling.
"Hey!" Nobu shouted from the back of the room, "I'm a man gimme a break, why the hell would I bring chick-drink?!" Shin and him exchanged looks, and nodded in an attempt to gain some authority.
"Oh but I didn't," Hachi countered sartcastically as she reached into one of the bags that she'd been carrying, "I brought the Rum and the sake." There was a short silence from sarcastic shock, which then dissipated due to the uproar of laugher. "NICE ONE HACHIKO!" Shin and Nobu yelled amongst it, grinning.
"Cheers, Hachiko." Nana added with a sneaky smile as she slipped the rum and sake out of her hands.
--
"So many empty bottles…" Shin groaned, sitting himself up, a few hours later.
By this time Misato and Yasu were snoring loudly, sprawled across the apartment floor.
"Well…" Nobu began slowly, "What good are empty bottles if you can't play spin the bottle hmm?" Thinking this idea was genius; Nobu started chuckling uncontrollably, and was quickly joined by Shin.
"Okay." Nana agreed, as she beckoned Hachi to sit on the floor with her in an attempt to make a circular shape. "What?" Hachi exclaimed loudly.
"What?!" Said Shin and Nobu even more loudly.
"I'm not doing that!" Hachi shouted, "not with these two, not with the crazy ideas they get into their deluded minds! No! I'm a married woman!" Hachi said crossing her arms defiantly."
"Aw c'mon," Nana moaned, "it's not like any of us are actually going to remember what happened in the morning, we're all way past that."
"True," Hachi accepted, shrugging and sitting down.
"Okaaaay," Nana exclaimed rubbing her hands. "Nobu," she said a devious smile growing wider on her face, as the empty beer bottle landed on him. "You either… have to wear make-up for a whole week starting from now, (and we're not just talking about black eye-liner trust me,) OR you have to kiss Shin- on the lips.
"WHAT?!" Nobu yelled horrified. "I'll take the make-up any day! And hey, since when did you get to call it?!"
"Since I got the new record deal and you didn't," added Nana mockingly with a sneaky smile, "and besides, we haven't asked Shin what he wanted to do yet- Shin?"
"I- I'd rather… I'd rather kiss Nobu." Said Shin smiling weakly and blushing.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Nobu shouted, stunned. "I knew it; I knew that's why all the girls were after you. Man you are so frickin' bi!"
"Well duh." Nana retorted. "He has the face of an angel, and we all knew, Shin's been bi for a long time now. I mean, all of us except you obviously Nobu." Said Nana, stifling a laugh. "I think Shin's idea is starting to catch on anyway. What d'you think Hachi?"
Hachi flushed scarlet, "I think… I- I think I need another drink- excuse me." She returned after a much needed vodka shot, took a deep breath and said: " Yeah okay, Nobu was sexist about drinks tonight, so I'm liking Shin's idea better."
Nobu's face drained itself of colour.
"Good! Then it's settled," exclaimed Nana with a smile. "Shin, kiss Nobu."
Shin moved closer toward Nobu, while Nobu began to slant backwards in a feeble attempt to escape. To Nobu's surprise, Shin reached out and placed his hand on his cheek, with an extremely tender look in his eye. Nobu froze "Wait" he began protesting "Ju- but it was too late. Nobu's speech had be cut short. Shin kissed Nobu extremely gently, his other free hand stroking Nobu's blonde spikey hair as he did so.
In the corner of her vision Nana saw Hachi blush fiercely. Nana just smiled and slowly raised an eyebrow. "I think you might wanna, y'know, get a room, preferably not mine or Hachi's though."
And with that Shin broke away. Nobu, who had been partially holding his breath, expelled it very quickly. "Y'know that was just- not right," he said, feeling frightened above all else.
"Sorry, Nobu." Shin added timidly. When Nobu saw the sweet, innocent and almost hurt looking face staring back at him, he couldn't bring himself to be angry at Shin.
"Aww s'okay…" Mumbled Nobu, blushing slightly.
Seeing this tinge of red grace Nobu's cheeks made Nana laugh hysterically: "Oh my god- y-you and Shin actually love each other!" She cried, forcing out the words through the fit of chuckles.
"I dunno what the hell you're laughin' at 'cause you're next." Said Nobu, glaring mischievously.
"Okay." Nana started confidently, "Do your worst."
"You either… Have to walk around in your underwear all of tomorrow, (and don't forget, it is December,) OR you have to kiss Hachiko." Nobu grinned triumphantly and then quickly added, "on the lips." Shin and him nodded together smiling.
"I'll kiss Hachiko." Nana said, without hesitating, as she turned to face her.
Hachi said nothing at first, but her eyes widened, then she stammered quietly. " I- I'll kiss Nana."
"Wow." Both boys chorused and leaned forward slightly.
Nana took Hachi's hand and stoked it with her thumb, and for a little while they both stared at each other unable to look away. Nana moved gradually closer to Hachi and oddly Hachi felt calm.
Hachi followed Nana with her eyes, and looked up as she felt Nana kiss her forehead. Nana lifted her head and kissed her affectionately, running her hair through her fingers. Hachi relaxed into the kiss and cupped Nana's cheek in her hand. Her lips were so warm and comforting, and whether later she would consider it strange or not, Hachi felt no desire to break away from her.
"Should we leave you two alone for a bit?" Questioned Shin sniggering.
Nana and Hachi broke way from each other quickly and fairly startled. Nana answered sarcastically, while Hachi found something very interesting on the floor to look at. "mm no – that's okay thanks, where done here, right Hachiko?"
"Mm-hmm" Hachi mumbled, now suddenly feeling very shy. "I think I'm gonna go to bed now it that's alright with you," she said rising slowly from the floor and smiling.
"Nobu," Nana started, "thinking about it you can't crash here, not after what happened last time with you in my bath tub. And you're now fully responsible for Shin, 'cause I think he just passed out."
Nobu glanced quickly from Nana to shin, and back again. "Oh shit- I gotta go. Up ya get Shin, no kissin' me while I piggy-back you all the way home." Though Nobu talking was no use, as Shin in his current state could say nothing, but Nobu dragged him up off the floor and flung him over his shoulder all the same.
Hachi walked over to Misato and Yasu, and shook Yasu gently awake. "Yep, I got it I'm leaving." He groaned as he woke up. Hachi watched the care with which Yasu picked Misato up, so as not to wake her, and she couldn't help but think of Takumi and Satsuki.
Misato stirred slightly as Yasu rose from the floor, mumbling something inaudible and pulling gently at his shirt as he carried her out through the door.
Hachi closed the door gently behind him, and began to pick up the bottles that were strewn across all the surfaces.
"Don't worry about all this; we'll get to it in the morning," Nana said opening her bedroom door wearily.
"It is morning, Nana."
"Well in that case morning-morning, not night-night Hachiko." She said, closing her bedroom door gently.
--
Nana pulled the sheet off slowly, frowning as she did so, forgetting for a second that she had fallen asleep in normal clothing. She stumbled into the middle room of 707 to find Hachi cleaning.
"Uuugh" Nana moaned rubbing her eyes, there's something you're not telling me right? I mean are you Wonder Woman or something?
"No," Hachi replied smiling sweetly and stifling a laugh, "I just don't have a hang- over is all."
"Can I have the cure please?" Nana asked dazedly.
"Mmhm. Just let me get this last bottle," said Hachi as she bent down. She then reached into the fridge, searching for the bowl of strawberries. Nana took them from her, along with a litre of bottled water.
"You're an angel," she drawled wryly, downing some of the water, then lighting her first cigarette of the day.
"Y'know… I don't think you should smoke when- Hachi started quietly.
"Nuh-uh." Nana interrupted bluntly, "just let me, I need it."
Hachi sighed and hung her head while pinching the bridge of her nose, then went to sit on the edge of the table top. For a while she sat, wondering how Nana was actually feeling. It was almost a year since Ren's death, and since the week it had happened, Nana had never brought it up. Hachi's brow furrowed, almost in an attempt to get into her friend's head.
As if she felt the intrusion, Nana turned from the window to face Hachi. "What?" She questioned, not puzzled, not irritated, not really anything.
"Nothing." Hachi mumbled.
Hachi slid down slowly from the table top, and she did so, Nana left her seat at the window. Hachi crossed her arms, still puzzled as to whether she should reach out or not, when she found that Nana stood right in front of her. Hachi looked up expectantly.
"I just thought I should let you know" Nana began teasingly, raising an eyebrow, "you're actually a good kisser."
Hachi stared upwards, stunned. "I thought that-
Nana cut her off, "no, cigarettes cure my hang-overs quickly too- and yes, I do remember I wasn't that drunk- This one's mine…" She said reaching over Hachi's shoulder for a strawberry.
Hachi watched as Nana's teeth sunk into the flesh of the fruit.
"Y'know," Nana began again. "I've started to wonder what is mine and what isn't."
Hachi's eyes tightened in slight confusion, and then she said: "Well, half of this apartment is yours."
"Mm-hm," Nana responded pouting with mock interest, "and what else?" She questioned, taking one more step towards Hachi.
"The bath-tub is technically owned by you?" Answered Hachi smiling, but still confused.
"Mm-hm, and what else?" Nana questioned once more, taking one more step and closing the gap between them completely this time, until they were practically nose-to-nose.
Hachi caught Nana's gaze and held it, then her eyes fluttered closed as Nana whispered in her ear: "And what else?"
"The uh- That strawberry was yours." Hachi breathed.
"And what else?" Nana questioned, as she began lightly kissing her neck.
Hachi fell silent, still with her eyes closed, frowning slightly.
Nana stopped and picked her head up, "What else, Hachiko?"
Both of them continued to stare intensely at one another and Hachi swallowed, failing to answer, as Nana leaned over her, putting her hand up the back of her shirt, resting it on the small of her back. She flinched slightly, the sensation from the cold metal of Nana's index finger ring sending shivers up her spine.
With her free hand, Nana touched Hachi's shoulder, gently pushing her up against the table. She moved forwards once more, kissing Hachi affectionately. Hachi felt her whole body relax, and began to stroke Nana's hair. Submissively she let Nana kiss her more deeply. Nana tasted sweet, a combination of the Black Stone Cherry cigarettes and the strawberries, it was intoxicating, almost addictive- she needed it. Hachi tugged lightly at Nana's top with her other hand, pulling her as close to her as possible. By this time, Hachi felt hot tears searing into her cheeks, and she could tell from the breaths that she was taking that Nana was crying too. After a while both of them broke away. Nana brushed Hachi's fringe back and kissed her hard on the forehead, tears running down her own cheeks and off onto Hachi's, as if it were an act of desperation.
Nana, gazed at Hachi once more:
"And what else, Hachiko, what else is mine?" She questioned tearfully.
"I'm yours." Hachi answered, her voice wavering.
Both of them held each other tightly, for a long time it seemed, until the embrace was broken by the sound of Hachi's phone. Hachi picked up, sniffing slightly, "Hi, Nana desu- Takumi?"
Nana, you'll have to come home early, Naoki said that something just came up with Reira, I have to go and meet her, but I can't leave Satsuki on her own- You'll have to get the first train back.
Hachi felt the tears start to well up again in the back of her throat. "I- I'll have to call you back… Just- Just give me a second…" Hachi closed the phone.
"Your husband?" Nana questioned wryly, already knowing the answer.
Hachi nodded and began slowly, "Nana I-
Nana interrupted, "the way I see it, you now have two choices, who's back garden d'you want to be kept in? His, or mine?"