Honesty
Disclaimer: I own nothing including the computer I'm typing this on.
A/N: This could possibly be my shortest fic to date, but I feel like it packs a lot of punch in a small area. For the most part I just wish for you to listen. I'll speak more about it at the end.
Jane and Maura sat on Jane's couch, sharing a bottle of wine. The ending credits of the movie they'd been watching flickering in front of them. Jane's arm was resting on the back of the couch as she leaned back into the pillows.
As Maura leaned forward to refill her glass, without looking back she could feel Jane's eyes on her. Subconsciously Maura tensed in front of her, her back straightening suddenly as she came to perch on the edge of the couch. She took a sip of the wine, letting it roll on her tongue as she let the words roll around in her mind before saying them. Taking a deep breath she looked back to Jane, a curious look on the brunette's face. "Jane," she said softly, still almost testing out the words, "we've been friends now for what… four years?"
"Uh… yeah," came Jane's less then eloquent reply, still curious as to where this conversation was going.
"And you've been in love with me for what… nearly three and a half out of those four years?" Maura asked, her green eyes staring into brown seriously.
"Maura… I," Jane wavered, not sure how to speak.
"Jane, please, we're best friends. I know you better than you know yourself at times," Maura said plainly, taking another sip of her drink while she waited for Jane's answer.
Jane sighed deeply, looking down and then back up at Maura, "Yeah, it's been about that long."
Maura paused once more, still considering her words carefully, "You know that you mean a lot to me. You are nearly the only family I have, and I care deeply about yours. However, you do realize I will never be in love with you."
Looking down once more Jane could feel her eyes fill with tears, "Maura… I never…"
"I know," Maura said softly, wanting to reach a hand out to touch Jane's, to comfort her, but didn't want it to be any harder on her friend then necessary. "I'm not trying to hurt you, but I feel that we've been… toeing a line lately and I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I do love you Jane, but not that way."
Tears now started to slide down Jane's cheeks, staining the burgundy T-shirt. Wiping at them furiously, annoyed at herself for losing it she choked out, "I didn't mean for it to happen."
"I know," was Maura's soft response once again. "We can't help who we love. It's actually a chemical reaction…" she stopped when she saw Jane's exasperated look. "I'm sorry," Maura sighed, "I really don't mean to make this any harder, but asking me to love you is like asking you to suddenly fall for Korsak."
A soft chuckle escaped amidst the tears, "What a thought."
Maura finally reached out a tentative hand, nearly expecting it to be pushed away, but it came to land on Jane's shoulder, "I understand if you want me to walk out that door and never speak to me again, but I thought we needed to be honest. You will always be my best friend and I love you for that, but it can never be more."
Sniffling softly Jane nodded, "It may take some time…"
"I understand," Maura nodded setting her glass down and preparing to stand up until she felt Jane's hand on her's.
"It will take some time… to get over you, but I'm glad my best friend will be there to see me through it."
Maura smiled, "I'll always be there for you."
Jane gave a slight smile, swallowing hard, "Thank you."
A/N: Ok so just to get this straight, this fic was written in response to a situation in which I find myself. I know this person will be reading and I'm more than confident that they will understand the meaning. But for you who are (thankfully) not in this predicament I commend you for reading through the scars of reality with the rest of us.
The one thing I do hope to accomplish with this fic is to give a voice to all of us out there going through the same thing. I hope that this helps at least some people to either say what needs to be said, or rethink your words and actions.
I also wish to say a great big sorry to all of you who realize that you're in love with your best friend, but they don't feel it. However, I wish for you to remember, neither you or your friend is not to blame for this. They simply wanted to be your friend, and you can't help who you fall, or don't fall, for.
Now a large round of warm hugs should commence, come on, you know you want to. :)
(You don't want to flame me as much as you think. Imagine being in Maura's shoes for a moment.)