Second Thoughts, a warriors fanfic

A/N:

So this is a little plot bunny my friends and I thought of- they've always been hardcore shippers, and got me to write this up. Don't take these seriously, they're just little drabbles in achronological order. I put several snippets each one for a good sized chapter.

This is sort of a human AU where Tallstar (Tal) and Jake live in the same apartment. Don't kill me, it's my first fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I do not, and will never, own Warriors.

"Taaaaaal! Do I-" Jake cleared his throat. "Do I look-er, fat?"

"Hm?" Tal responded noncommittally. "What?" What is it now? he seemed to say.

"Well- I mean- er- my mom- she ah, said I was, uh, pudgy looking." he stuttered, flushing and looking down at his feet. I can't believe I just said that! That sounded so, so, STUPID! I'm having second thoughts about this. (A/N: Ha! Title cameo!)

"Well," Tal murmured, sidling up to him. Where is this coming from?. "Why be slicc," he booped Jake in the nose. "When you can be thicc?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

It was hot. Real, damn hot. I mean, so hot that you could actually fry an egg on the sidewalk.

This is where we found Tal and Jake slumping and flopping along the sidewalk in the summer heat.

"Hey," Jake panted. "Are those freezi- hey! Wait for me!"

Tal had run off to the freezie stall already, asking for a watermelon and cream-soda flavored one- handing over the money, he ran back with a gleeful expression.

"What now?" Jake muttered. He looked at the freezie he was handed. "Aw, you know I don't like watermelon!"

"Bleh!" Tal stuck his tongue out at Jake. "Too bad!" He pushed the remains of the freezie that hadn't melted already up the plastic. Just as he was about to reach chilly, cavity-inducing nirvana- the freezie slipped and fell.

Down…

down...

… where it landed with a wet SPLAT! on the ground.

They stared at the puddle of once-frozen cream soda treat. One. Two. Thre-

"Oh, frick!" Tal groaned. "That was the last of my allowance!"

Jake glared. "What did you use the rest of your allowance for?"

Tal looked away with a flush on his face. Jake grinned. "Knew it. Told ya not to use it all on energy drinks."

"You be quiet!"

"CLEAN YOUR ROOM!" Jake yelled.

"Jaaaaaaaaake!" Tal groaned, putting his head in his hands. "Why can't you be my mom later? I'm busy!"

"Busy? Busy playing Zelda? You can't even make anything other than a baked apple or Dubious Food in BotW! That reminds me- can you even make anything edible in real life?" Jake snarked.

"I'll have you know I can cook, too! I can-" Tal's retort was cut short.

"Correction: can you make anything other than instant noodles or TV dinners?" Jake smirked, knowing he'd won. He didn't see the evil grin that Tal sported.

"Oh, I suppose you want me to talk about that? THE thi-" he began.
"YOU SHUT THE !^%$ up you #%$^%& I THOUGHT WE AGREED NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT-" Jake roared.

"You know you love me~" Tal smarmed, batting his eyelashes flirtatiously. It had a rather strange effect on his usually stoic visage.

Jake grumbled. "Why is this moron my friend?"

4. Damn you, fangirls!

"OMGOMG! TAL! MARRY MEH PLS! OMG IZ UR BIGGEST FAN! AAAAA!"

Tal looked over his shoulder.

Crap, he thought, sprinting away from the rabid fangirls.

"Ohnohnoohnoohnoohno-" he muttered. "Oh (bleep)ing (bleep) why couldn't the (bleep)ing fangirls wait until I was (bleeping) dead?" Tal turned the corner. StarClan save me!

Jake was having a nice day. He was out for a stroll outside, enjoying the nice sunny weather.

Poor Jake. He was completely unprepared for the black blur tackling him into a convenient dark alley.

Jake did not flail around like a fish out of water. Jake did not try and kick his assailant and stub his toe in the process. Jake most certainly did not scream like a little girl after said not-stubbed toe was stubbed.

"Shush!" his captor whispered- wait, was that Tal? "Do you want them to find us?"

Who? Jake wondered. Who would be so frightening that Tal would run away from?

Then he heard it. Shrieking that no normal human possessed- no, these were worse than a banshee's cry-

FANGIRLS.

"#*&$!" Tal hissed. In his surprise, Jake lost his balance. To his horror, he fell over- on top of Tal.

Even worse- their lips may have brushed the teeniest, weeniest, bit.

"Sdfgyeihweouwhagdcht!"

In an instant, Jake was at the end of the conveniently-dark alley, wiping at his lips and spluttering.

"Ew!" Tal spat. "That was so- so- gross!"

"Oh god, I'm so sorry- oh man-crap, what even-" Jake blubbered.

"Dude," Tal coughed. "Are you gay or something?"

"Hey! I wasn't the one randomly pulling people into dark alleyways!" Jake snorted.

"Well- I- you know I had a good reason for that!" Tal muttered.

They didn't speak after that until the next day, and that day was forever known as The Incident.

A/N:

And cut! Here we are with the first chapter!
Reviews appreciated! Flames will be used to light campfires!