THE GREAT RACE

A belated response to somniotextrix's The Amazing Race Challenge on WIKTT

I own nothing except...well, the arrangement of the words. Everything else belongs to

J.K. Rowling... Even the plot isn't mine.

Chapter 1. "Ready"

It was only after several minutes of mute shock that the idea was fully comprehendible. The expressions on the faces of each staff member clearly stated their opinion of the news. Minerva McGonagall stared at the headmaster in disbelief. Her first reaction was to stare dumbly with her jaw dropped a little. But being the sturdy and supposedly unfazed woman that she was, she quickly regained her composure. Her eyes narrow and piercing, lips pursing tightly, she showed she disapproved of it.

Filius Flitwick bounced on the balls of his little feet in sheer excitement. He stared off into space, surely imagining what all of it would entail. A large grin was plastered on his face as he gave a small chuckle now and again, obviously getting a kick out of whatever daydream he was creating in his head. It was clear that he was all for it.

Pomona Sprout had a vacant look about her, as though she didn't fully understand what this was all about. She looked at the fireplace across the room, chewing the inside of her cheek. She didn't oppose it, but that was mostly due to the fact that she didn't understand what it was. She was mostly curious at how this would affect her.

Remus Lupin stood with his hands clasped behind his back with his feet apart. He glanced around at the reactions of his colleagues with an amused look in his eyes. Every so often he would bow his head to look down and shuffle his feet. He would give a shy smile once in a while when he imagined the strange yet humorous news.

Albus Dumbledore looked beside himself with an unholy glee. He too was bobbing up and down on the balls of his feet with his mouth glued in a smile. His eyes were twinkling much more than usual, and he delightfully munched the rest of his lemon drop. He also directed his sunshine gaze at every one of the people present.

As for Severus Snape, his expression hadn't changed much since the word "race" had left Dumbledore's mouth. He sat in the armchair near the fire with his legs straight out with his ankles crossed. His arms were folded tightly across his chest and he glared at his shoe with so much vehemence that it should have gone up in flames long ago. His trademark scowl was more pronounced than usual, and his hair hung limply next to his cheeks, blocking the nosy glances from everyone save Dumbledore. It was no mystery that Snape did NOT like the idea one bit.

The headmaster finished his lemon drop and finally broke the heavy silence. "Are there any questions?" Again, another deafening silence before McGonagall spoke up.

"No magic at all?"

"I'm afraid not, Minerva. At least, that is what the rules say. But it shouldn't prove to be too difficult."

Professor Sprout mentally shook herself out of her trance. "Headmaster, what exactly is this for?"

Professor Dumbledore sighed and reached behind him to his desk, pulling a sheaf of parchment towards him. "The Ministry is worried that the students of Hogwarts don't get enough exercise, and aren't taught how important physical health is. They are requiring that we start a Physical Education class."

"And where does a race around the world tie in all this?" McGonagall asked, giving him a shrewd once-over.

"I'm afraid that was my idea, Minerva," he replied, smiling puckishly. There was a collective groan from most of the people present. "I want the students to be enthusiastic about the new class, and so I thought a little friendly competition to rouse their spirits would be in order."

"So what exactly does all of this involve?" Flitwick asked.

"Of course," Dumbledore began, skimming over the parchment in his hand. "I had to write down all of my ideas so my old brain wouldn't forget them. Let's see. Ah yes, here we are. There will be four teams consisting of two people. I have recovered the Goblet of Fire and have altered it to pick the pairs best suited for each other, though I must confess that I have invented the basis to go by for each team. The teams will start here at Hogwarts and travel East through Asia. They will then cross the Pacific, travel through North America, cross the Atlantic Ocean to arrive back at Hogwarts. The team first to enter the Great Hall shall receive the reward that I deem worthy."

Lupin frowned. "What sort of 'basis' for the teams did you come up with?"

"There will be one team of teachers...now, now, I need not remind all of you that we are adults and as such can accept this with maturity. That's better. As I said, there will be one team of two teachers, one team that consists of the two most athletic people, another team of the two smartest people at Hogwarts, and lastly, a team with a very confident contestant, and a less confident one. Rather ingenious if I do say so myself," Albus chuckled to himself.

"But without magic, Albus? Surely –"

"Come now, Minerva," Dumbledore said brightly, "surely you don't think I would simply send them on their way with no guidance. Each team will be given one hundred Galleons to spend wisely on their journey. There will also be checkpoints at which they must complete a certain task under supervision. They will be allowed to have their wands with them, but they will be traced in a way that anything other than a healing spell will be registered. In the unlikely event that any team is lost or under unusual circumstances, they may summon us to them. But if they use magic to aid their journey, they will be disqualified."

A sulky and sullen voice sliced through the air, and though it was spoken quietly, it had no trouble carrying across the room. "And why might I ask, are you telling us? Wouldn't you get more perverse pleasure in springing it on us at dinner?" Everyone except Professor Dumbledore visibly started, remembering that Severus Snape was still in the room.

"I had thought of doing so," the headmaster said pensively, "but all of you are heads of your house, and I require your patience in answering any questions that the students might have once I announce this delightful event at dinner tonight. Each of you is also responsible for ensuring that every seventh year in your house puts their name into the Goblet of Fire between tomorrow morning and the evening of the day after. You needed to know everything about it ahead of time for you to be able to answer any questions presented to you."

There was a moment of silence while everyone digested the information given to them. "All of you are now dismissed," Dumbledore said, "except for you, Remus, I would be obliged if you would stay as we have some things to discuss."

"I thought so," Lupin replied, "seeing as I'm not a head of house." The rest of the professors made their exit, with Snape trailing behind, casting baleful looks at the headmaster. At last the door closed, though rather forcefully, behind Snape.

"Tea?" asked Dumbledore. The DADA professor politely declined, sitting down in the chair in front of the desk when the headmaster motioned for him to do so. "I believe I mentioned that there would be certain tasks for each team to complete at each checkpoint earlier in the discussion, did I not?" The younger man nodded. "It would please me if you would oversee them when they reach it. Once they reach a checkpoint, they will be allowed one hour in which to rest. That will give you enough time to apperate, or use a portkey to get there. Magic monitors the checkpoints, so we will know exactly when they reach it. What do you say?"

Lupin knew he didn't have much of a choice, but he really didn't mind the request; in fact, it sounded like fun. "Of course, Albus, it sounds like something I would enjoy." He hesitated for a moment. "But, what will happen during the –" Dumbledore held up his hand to quiet him.

"During the days of your transformation, Argus Filch has already graciously accepted to substitute for you. I'm afraid I couldn't convince him to do it completely. He is the only other one whom I trust to judge the teams equally, if not always fairly." His eyes twinkled madly, and Lupin couldn't keep down a chuckle.

"I would be glad to do anything of help."

Dumbledore nodded courteously. "Thank you, I will let you know if anything else comes up to which your services would be useful. In the meantime, I shall need to consult the Minister for further details, and a list of the tasks, checkpoints, and rules are on your desk."

Recognizing his dismissal, Lupin politely excused himself and headed back to his classroom. He had another hour or so before he was required in the Great Hall for dinner. He couldn't help but visualize the reactions of the students and the rest of the staff. "Yes," he thought to himself, "yes this should prove to be a most interesting evening."

ooooooooo00000000ooooooooo0000000000ooooooooooo00000000000oooooooooo0000000000oooooooooo000000000oooooooooo000000000ooooooooo000000000

By the time Hermione had finished cramming for her NEWT's, she barely had enough time to get to dinner before Harry and Ron would undoubtedly send out a search party. She wedged into a small space between her best friends, forcing their heated Quidditch debate to end. "Here already?" Ron asked mocking sincerity.

"I didn't expect you to finish studying until hell freezes over," Harry added.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh spare me. The exams are next week! Judging by both of your mid-term exam results, you should be studying just as much if not more than me." They groaned loudly. "And Harry, I would suggest you find a more original metaphor instead of the hell freezing over...it's too much of a cliché." Her target shot Ron an exasperated look.

"Fine," he said. "How about: the day you finish studying will be the day Snape gets happily married." Ron burst out laughing, spilling pumpkin juice over the front of his robes. Hermione frowned.

"Honestly. Stop acting like immature little first years! I don't see what's so funny about it." That only made them laugh even harder. With as much dignity as she could muster, she disentangled herself from their childish and low-grade humor to steal a glance at the High Table. Most of the staff were deep in hurried and excited conversation, and Hermione wondered what that foretold. Not surprisingly, Snape was the only one seated at the High Table that was not chatting animatedly with colleagues. He was concentrating on his plate with a bellicose glare – a fair warning not to cross his path unless willing to suffer the brunt of his bad mood. This was not unusual, but he seemed even more morose than normal...and was that a look of dread in his eyes? His entire countenance suggested that he would turn into a pumpkin once the dinner was over. "I suppose that's too much to ask for," she thought with a chuckle, but then was mortified to realize that she had stooped back to her friends' level of humor. As if he had heard every thought she had made, Snape looked up and directed his harsh glare directly at her. Hermione quickly averted her gaze back down to her plate with pink rising to her cheeks.

It was at this time that Dumbledore decided to make his announcement. Everyone's attention turned to the headmaster as he tapped the side of his glass with a knife and stood up. "Students, and teachers as well," he said, casting a look down each side of his table. "I have a most exciting announcement to make! In response to the Ministry of Magic's decree to install a Physical Education class in Hogwarts, I have decided to show them how much enthusiasm we have for it! Hogwarts will hold a race around the world for a most valuable prize." The Slytherin table perked up greatly upon hearing this. "It will take place here in the Great Hall, and will start on the morning after the Leaving Feast. Those who are picked as contestants will not be returning home for the summer." There was a moment of hushed whispers and concerned looks. "Your parents have already been informed, and there are none who are not supportive. Those, however, who are not picked shall return home as normal on the Hogwarts Express once the race has begun. You will receive owls periodically informing you of the status of each team, and will return to Hogwarts two weeks earlier than usual in order to have a better chance of being here when the winning team arrives." The headmaster continued speaking in greater detail, telling of the rules, and of how to enter, and that only seventh years were eligible. He told of the teams, checkpoints, money and everything else they needed to know. He informed them that they had this evening and the next morning before classes to submit their names into the Goblet of Fire, and that the teams would be announced tomorrow evening at dinner. Dumbledore clapped his hands twice, and the Goblet of Fire shimmered into view immediately in front of the Head Table. There was a collective gasp as blue flames licked the air above it.

As if its appearance was their cue, the students grabbed their book bags and rummaged inside for a scrap of paper, quill and ink. Hermione quickly scribbled her name onto a piece of torn parchment and headed to the High Table along with several other seventh years. The blue flames were mesmerizing, and she was tempted to stand there staring at it longer than was necessary. Other students dropped their names in and returned to their respective tables, and she followed suit, returning to her seat at the Gryffindor table. "It doesn't sound like it would be too hard," she thought. Hermione watched as Draco Malfoy swaggered up with his name, looking very smug indeed. "No doubt his father will ensure that he is picked," she thought bitterly. With a little prodding from Dumbledore, the teachers dropped their names in as well. Professor Trelawney was panting breathily as she dropped hers in. Professor McGonagall looked resigned to her fate as she solemnly placed hers in. Hagrid frowned happily as he stooped over to plunk his name in, though before now, Hermione never imagined that one was able to 'plunk' a scrap of paper anywhere. Professors Vector, Sinistra, Sprout, and Flitwick followed shortly thereafter. Last but not least, was Snape. He required the most prodding from the headmaster, but reluctantly rose to his feet. He traveled around the table and flicked his paper in as if it were a speck of dust. He gave the Goblet a bloodthirsty glare, plainly warning it not to choose him, then stalked back to his seat, shooting savage looks at anyone and anything.

Dinner was over, and the students were compiling in hordes to get back to their common rooms, and the heads of each house followed their students. Once in the Gryffindor common room, the students waited for Professor McGonagall to close the portrait behind her. "Now," she said, "I am here to tell the seventh years that all of you are required to submit your names. If there is any reason why you are unable to compete, the Goblet of Fire will know, and thus will not choose you. I have been asked to make sure that you do so before the end of breakfast tomorrow morning. Who has not yet submitted their name?" A few students raised their hands, including Neville Longbottom, Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown. "Very well, I expect you to have your names in the Goblet before breakfast is finished tomorrow morning. Now I suggest that you all get a good night's sleep, as you will not be excused from classes simply because you overslept!" Professor McGonagall gave everyone a stern look, and then exited from the portrait hole.

At once there were many conversations between the students as they jabbered on about the upcoming competition. Harry and Ron were ecstatic, talking animatedly to each other using wild gestures to dramatize their excitement. "...and a team of teachers!" Ron was saying. "Just imagine Professor McGonagall walking through Texas with a heavy, plaid robe on!" Hermione pushed past her peers and slipped into the Head Girl's room without drawing too much attention to herself. She had other things to worry about besides this silly competition... like the NEWTS. She planned on getting a few hours of studying in before she went to bed, but as luck would have it, she was more exhausted than she realized, and fell asleep at her desk.