A/N: I love Gabriel, I won't ever let him die.

Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine. If it was, Gabriel wouldn't have died. He's just as powerful as Michael and for him to die...it killed me.

Reviews make me smile. :D

XXX

Sam looked down and his eyes watered, his lip trembled and his heart shattered. Gabriel was dead and his wings were spayed around him, marking him for the angel he actually was. It hurt to know that Gabriel was dead. He'd been there for so long, protecting them...

But now, looking down at the angel, his heart felt empty and desolate. Sam could remember every instance he'd seen the angel, that every instant made him sob hysterically.

XXX

When Sam was five or six, he'd been in bed sleeping when the Shtriga attacked. He'd opened his eyes and had panicked at the sight, scared and alone. And poor Dean, terrified and clutching the sawed off shotgun and shaking in fear. A ten year old shouldn't have had that responsibility thrown onto his shoulders, but John hadn't cared at the time. Dean was the eldest and he should have been able to handle anything that had come his way. John hadn't really thought about how all this would effect his oldest son, and in the end he'd almost lost one of his children.

Thankfully, where John had gone wrong, Gabriel hadn't. Gabriel had burst into the room, all light and frightening power, and had killed the Shtriga so quickly, Dean had to blink a couple times to assure himself that the witch was actually dead before bursting into the room, holding the gun at Gabriel's chest.

"Who are you?" Dean had asked, torn between saying thank you and shooting. He'd seen this thing kill the Shtriga, he'd seen this thing smile kindly at his brother and ease him back to sleep...he'd seen that this thing meant no harm but he wasn't human and that meant he was bad...it had to. That's what dad always said.

"Gabriel."

"What are you?" Dean rephrased, hoping to get more than a one word answer this time.

"I'm an angel kiddo." Gabriel said, kneeling before Dean with a smile. "And I watch after your brother, protect him."

"Why?" Dean asked, frowning. He wasn't about to trust the bastard.

"He's a very important little boy, Dean. So are you. In fact, you have your very own angel watching after you."

"Angel's don't exist...that's what dad says." Dean's little head fell to his chest and tears stung his eyes. His mom had always told him "Dean, did you know angel's are always watching over you?" but now it was their dad's words that rung in his head. Everything with power is evil and they will always use that power to take what they want...but Gabriel didn't seem evil to Dean.

Gabriel smirked and snapped his fingers, bringing a lollipop into existence. "It's not poisoned." He said when Dean gave him a sceptical look.

Dean hesitantly reached out for the candy and nodded. "So Sammy will always be protected?" Dean asked, unwrapping the candy and sticking it in his mouth. It tasted like apple pie and Dean smiled.

"He's been protected since the day I found him." Gabriel admitted with a sheepish smile. "Sadly it was too late to help your mom by then."

"How old was he?" Dean asked, nudging his head in Sam's direction.

"Three." Gabriel admitted and Dean nodded.

"Okay. I won't tell dad." Dean assured. Gabriel smiled kindly, lifted his hand and with a snap he was gone and the door to the motel room opened.

John was happy to see his children alive and well and the next day they'd packed and left town. There was a lead they had to follow.

XXX

Sam was nine...ten at the oldest, when Dean had gone out to get something to eat, their dad having left them to go on a hunt. Dean had taken all the money he had, five dollars or so, and had gone to pick up some much needed grub. Hopefully their dad would be back soon or Dean might have to...

No.

Dad would come back.

He always did.

Sam was sitting in bed, reading a book, when the door to the motel room opened. Sam didn't look up, figuring it was Dean walking in with much needed food. Maybe he should have looked up, maybe then he wouldn't have been caught of guard.

He was knocked on the head so hard he was seeing stars. He was then grabbed by his ankles and dragged off the bed, his head hitting the floor as he fell. If he wasn't concussed before, he sure as hell was now.

There was a growl and Sam tensed. He couldn't really make the guy out. There was an inch of clear vision followed by blurry sights and double vision. This wasn't good.

"I suggest you let him go." Came a voice Sam barely recognized. It seemed familiar, even if by just a bit.

More growls.

Gabriel rolled his eyes in irritation before raising his hands and snapping his fingers. The man exploded. Remnants of him flying this way and that, intestine and blood smearing the walls.

"No one touches him." Gabriel said, frowned in disgust before snapping the mess clean and looking at the small Winchester.

"Hey short stuff."

"T-thank you." Sam stuttered, fear still clawing at his throat. He couldn't see this man, vision blurry and everything, so it worried him. What would happen to him now?

"Let me." Gabriel said petting Sam's hair and healing him instantly.

"Thank you..." Sam said again, testing out his cleared vision. "You saved me."

"That I did. Where's the other one. Weren't there two of you last time?" Gabriel asked with a hint of fear. Sam was his so he could sense but Dean wasn't and so if he'd died Gabriel wouldn't know.

"Dean went to get food for us. We're out of everything and dad doesn't seem to be coming back any time soon." Sam answered, standing and patting his clothes clean of dust. "And besides, he won't be happy if he sees you here. He's like dad, he hates everything supernatural even if they're good."

"I bet you a bag of M&Ms that Dean won't care." Gabriel smirked.

Sam thought about his stash of candy. He didn't have much, just a half bag of skittles and maybe three or four small lollipops but no M&Ms, sadly. "I don't have a full bag of anything."

Gabriel snapped his fingers and produced two bags of M&M candies and handed one to the boy who looked up sceptically.

"How is this fair? You can't give me candy to give back if I lose. It's not fair to you."

"Deal with it." Gabriel smiled.

Sam shrugged and sat on the bed, waiting patiently for his brother to come home.

Thankfully Sam didn't have to wait long, as the door to the motel opened and Dean walked in with one measly little bag of food. He'd bought one cheep loaf of bread and the cheapest sandwich mean this side of disgusting, but it was food and Sam was grateful for it.

Dean looked up and his eyes widened comically before he set his purchases on the counter and continued gaping at the angel.

"Why are you here? What happened? Sammy are you hurt?" Dean asked, running over and checking his brother for injury. "What happened?"

"Werewolf." Gabriel answered smoothly. "Taken care of Dean-o."

"Thanks Gabe." Dean said with a happy sigh. As long as Sam was okay.

Sam tossed his bag of M&Ms to Gabriel, who caught it with a smile, and looked pointedly at Dean.

"Why aren't you mad about this?"

"He's saved your ass before." Dean answered calmly, going to the little kitchen to make some sandwiches. "Want one Gabe?"

Gabriel snapped his fingers and produced enough food to feed an army. "Eat as much as you want. I even stocked up your fridge. It'll all disappear when your dad walks through those doors, don't want him getting the wrong idea, so I'd gorge if I were you." He said with a wink.

"Thank..." Dean began only for Gabriel to snap his finger and disappear. "you."

"Who's he?" Sam asked and Dean explained as they ate the food Gabriel had poofed up for them. Sam couldn't remember being this happy in a while.

XXX

Sam was 12 and Dean was 16. Dean was flirting with this girl or that and Sam felt alone. He wasn't one for going out and about with people, he tended to just blend into the background, hoping to be ignored.

He wasn't ignored though.

He was walking back to the motel from school one day when he felt like he was being followed. It terrified him to think what could possibly happen.

Sam heard a laugh and his heart stopped.

"Sammy?" Someone called, elongating his name just a bit. "Saaaaammmmmmyyyyy!"

Sam's heart raced as he picked up his pace, trying to get back to the relative safety of the motel.

"Why are you running Sammy?" The voice said sweetly.

Sam didn't answer, just continued to walk, until he came to a sudden stop, having walked into someone.

"Sorry..." Sam apologized.

"Oh, Sammy, no need." Sam looked up and panic gripped him tight at the black eyes staring down at him.

Sam backed away only to be stopped by a firm grip on his arm, pulling tightly, causing him to cry out.

"You're mine now, Winchester." Sam's heart fell. Dean was on his stupid little date, dad was out hunting and he was all alone.

"Nah, not alone." Sam heard and his heartbeat quickened. "Never alone."

The demon dropped Sam's arm and backed away slowly, fear evident in her face.

"I w-wa-wasn't gonna..." She began and Gabriel sighed. He sounded tired.

"Sam and Dean Winchester are off limits." Gabriel intoned softly, keeping his anger in check.

The demon vanished, not giving Gabriel a chance to smite her. She knew when she was outnumbered.

"Why?" Sam asked, once the demon was gone.

"Why what?" Gabriel asked, handing the young boy a lollipop, hoping Sam would enjoy the flavour.

"Why do you keep helping me? I'm not complaining...but I'm not worth it, not really." Sam said, opening the lolly and popping it into his mouth.

"You're worth it." Gabriel smiled.

With a snap of his fingers, Sam was sitting safely on his bed in the motel room and Gabriel was gone. Sam sighed. He actually quite liked Gabriel and wanted the angel to stick around, but he also knew how unreasonable that was.

XXX

Sam was 16 when he saw Gabriel again. Dean was out hunting with their dad and Sam was alone. He was bored and tired and so had decided to get some sleep. In the back of his mind, he knew something was wrong. He'd never gone to sleep at five in the afternoon before but he was getting very tired and he just needed to lie down for a bit. Not long just five minutes, tops.

Suddenly Sam's eyes opened a bit, bleary and unfocused, he looked around at the flames engulfing the motel room and he sat up, coughing and gagging on the smoke.

Suddenly he was painfully aware of the fire eating away at his leg and he tried, and filed, to put the fire out. He was coughing, in pain, and couldn't see a foot in front of him.

He was close to passing out from the smoke inhalation when Gabriel appeared and with a snap of his fingers, the fire was gone and his leg no longer burned, but his lungs were still on fire.

"Hey Sammy." Gabriel smiled, patting Sam on the back, healing his lungs in the process.

"Hey Gabriel." Sam smiled back happily. He'd missed the angel. Hadn't seem him in four years.

"Trouble finds you quite a bit." Gabriel smirked and Sam shrugged. Gabe was right but Sam wouldn't admit it. "It's okay." He assured.

"Thank you." Sam said sincerely. "For everything."

"Don't mention it." And with that Gabriel was gone. No snap to indicate he wanted to leave, he was just...gone.

XXX

Sam was 18 and in a screaming match with John.

"I'm just going to college." Sam yelled, tears stinging his eyes. "I just want a little bit of normal."

"There's no such thing Sam. You won't be living normal, you'll be living stupid. You're not going to college, away from us. You can't abandon your family for your passing fancy." John yelled back.

"You won't even have to fucking pay for it. I have full ride at Stanford and I'll call. Every day I'll call." Sam promised. "I just want to go to college."

"Why so suddenly?" Dean asked, reasonably.

Dean was right to ask that question. Sam really hadn't talked about college before. He'd always loved studying and learning but he hadn't cared about college until pretty recently.

"I've put him through enough." Sam started. "If I can give him more time off...more time not to worry about me..."

"Sammy..." Dean began, knowing exactly who Sam was talking about.

"It's not fair." Sam started, wiping his face and packing his duffel. He was going to Stanford regardless of what anyone Said. Gabriel had risked his ass three or four times a year to keep Sam safe and Sam was going to give him a much needed vacation from "Sam defence"...He had to.

"You walk out that door, don't you ever come back. You hear me?" John yelled, turning and marching away, not giving his son a chance to answer.

Gabriel watched from the shadows as Sam's heart shattered. This was one thing he couldn't heal, no matter how strong he was.

XXX

Sam was 22 and sharing an apartment with his Jessica. She was a beautiful woman with the cutest little mole and Sam just loved her personality. She was perfect to and for him but he couldn't commit to her whole heartedly and he'd told her. He'd told her how much he cared about her and where his reservations lay and she's accepted the relationship they had, tentatively. She loved him to death and if he couldn't love her back as much, then so be it. Anything he could give she would take.

They'd been together for two years when Dean broke into their apartment "looking for a beer." He'd said and Sam could do nothing but shake his head at Dean's antics.

"Why are you here?"

"We need to talk." Dean answered automatically.

"The phone?"

"Right...this is face to face important though."

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"Dad's on a hunting trip and...he hasn't been home in a few days." Dean said, obviously worried.

"Alright. I'll tell Jess then we can go find him." Sam assured.

"That simple?" Dean asked, a little shocked.

"Did you want me to put up a fight?" Sam asked with a smirk. At Dean's wide eyes Sam nodded. "Thought so."

He'd told Jess, who'd nodded her consent, kissed him soundly and bit him farewell. Sam wasn't going to stay gone, though. He wanted to be back by Monday, an interview that he needed to be present for. Dean had begrudgingly accepted and they were off.

Their dad wasn't there but they did find a woman in white, they'd gotten rid of her just in time for Sam to be driven back. Just in time for Jess to be pinned to the ceiling and set on fire.

Sam had screamed as he watched her burn to death.

"No...JESS, NO!"

"Grab my hand, Sammy."

Sam barely heard Gabriel's voice, standing and trying to grab for Jess. Gabriel had watched with knotted stomach as Sam continued to walk towards the fire and before he could think about what he was doing, he grabbed Sam and buried his face in the taller man's back. "I'm sorry." He said before they both vanished, reappearing next to Dean's impala, with Dean leaning against the door sadly. He was debating on going back for Sam, give it another go but then Gabe and Sam were standing right before him and Sam looked crushed.

"I'm sorry." Gabriel begged, clinging to Sam's middle, face buried in Sam's back. "I was too late."

Sam's head fell and his shoulder's shook as he sobbed. He knew this wasn't Gabriel's doing but he wanted so badly to blame the angel. Gabriel was supposed to be strong and yet Jess had died.

"Sammy?" Dean asked, walking over and raising Sam's head. "What happened?"

"Jess died." Sam said, voice low and cracking. "On the ceiling."

"Sammy..."

"Let's go." Sam said, untangling Gabriel's hands from his shirt. "We have work to do."

XXX

Dean got a glimpse of his angel the day he got electrocuted. His heart was giving out and he was on death's door, scared and tired, Sam pacing up and down, reading this, calling that and trying to save his brother when he'd shown up.

He was tall, almost as tall as Dean but shorter than Sam, black hair and stunning blue eyes.

"I'm Castiel." He'd said, reaching for Dean. "You are my charge and I will not allow your death."

He'd put two fingers to Dean's head and had healed him immediately. Dean had smiled at the angel happily. "Thanks."

"I am to keep you safe, Dean." He'd said, before vanishing.

"Seems like a stick in the mud." Sam smirked, now that Dean wasn't in any immediate danger.

"He's just awkward." Dean said with a huff. "I'll bring him around."

XXX

Dean was dying, Sam was hurt bad and John was trying to summon the demon and though all this their angel's were MIA.

Sam had done everything he could think of...gone as far as praying and begging for Gabriel to come and help but...nothing. They didn't come and Dean was dying.

John had sold his soul and the colt to save Dean's life and before he'd died he'd left a message for Dean, an order Dean would never follow, and then he'd died.

That was the first time Sam and Dean had hated their angels. That was the one day they refused to acknowledge their existence. They'd needed them and had been abandoned.

It wasn't until three months after John's death that they realized what had happened. Gabriel was outrunning arch angels and Castiel had been being held in heaven.

Raphael didn't know who this trickster thought he was, messing with the Winchesters' lives but he would keep him away until John's death. By then it would be too late to stop the plan anyway. By then everything would be set in place. Everyone broke eventually, and John would break.

Castiel and Gabriel had materialized near Sam and Dean, both looking like kicked puppies.

"I'm sorry." Gabriel said, looking at Sam. "I tried to come..."

"I also tried." Castiel said, looking at Dean sadly. "I was being...reformed."

Sam and Dean had forgiven them.

XXX

"Gabriel?" Sam asked, looking at the angel who was wearing a...janitor's outfit?

"Sammy, Dean-o, what can I do for you?" Gabriel asked, biting into a snickers bar.

"We're here to solve the murder of the college professor." Sam answered, frowning slightly at the angel. "What are you doing here?"

"Killing the college professor." Gabriel answered, honest. He hadn't lied to them yet, why start now?

"What?" Dean and Sam asked, shocked.

"Well, I didn't kill him. I fucked with him and he jumped to his death." Gabriel shrugged, like that made everything better.

"Why?" Sam asked, shocked. In all the time they'd known Gabriel, this side of him hadn't ever come to light.

"He wasn't a nice person." Gabriel began, hoping they would listen. "Everyone knew he would fuck his students but that was only half of it."

"So you killed him because he was...what? Morally corrupt?" Dean asked, anger flaring his words.

"He liked them young...really young." Gabriel took another bite of his candy and let the meaning of his words seep in.

"Oh..." Dean couldn't say anything else. What else was there to say?

"Hungry?" Gabriel asked the brothers with a smile. "I know a really good diner not too far from here. My treat."

"Yeah." Sam whispered, following Gabriel down the steps of the college and towards the diner, which was apparently within walking distance.

"Where's Cas?" Dean asked, curious. He hadn't seen the angel in some time and he was worried.

"He's in heaven trying to figure something out. We need information and I can't go back to heaven." Gabriel answered.

"Why not?" Sam asked, curious.

"I've been in hiding for millennia." Gabriel explained. "They think I'm dead. To them I'm Loki, not Gabriel, and I want them to keep thinking that."

"Why?" Sam's curiosity could get a bit annoying, Gabriel thought.

"The more we keep from them the less they'll be able to accomplish." Sam still looked curious.

"Are the angels planning something?" Dean asked as they walked into the lit diner.

"Yeah." Gabriel answered. "And the less they know about us, the better."

Dean couldn't have agreed more.

XXX

John had finally broken in hell. It had taken over 200 years in hell for it to happen but with John's broken soul came the breaking of the first seal. Gabriel had done everything in his power to prevent the rest of them from breaking but there were so many he had to fight against, it became impossible and one by one the seals were broken.

The last one was trickier for the angels and demons to work out. They'd wanted to corrupt Sam but Gabriel wouldn't allow it and so they'd settled for Jake.

Jake was the bastard who'd tried to kill Sam and though Gabriel and Dean both wanted him dead, Sam had convinced them otherwise and had let him go.

With Gabriel's help they'd killed off Azazel and closed the door to hell but their father hadn't ever escaped. He'd been left behind to suffer and before long, the first seal to the apocalypse had broken.

Jake had broken the last seal and all hell broke loose.

XXX

It was a while yet before Sam and Dean saw Gabriel again, this time in a hotel they'd found themselves stuck in. Neither one of them wanted to say yes, neither one of them found that prospect very rewarding and so they'd said no and they'd stuck to their guns and now they were stuck in a hotel with a bunch of pagan gods. Great.

That is, until Gabriel had come to the rescue.

Then Lucifer had been called.

The gods dropped like flies.

And finally, a battle to the death between Gabriel and Lucifer.

Gabriel had given Sam his angel blade before facing Lucifer and Sam found that completely counter productive in the coming battle but he'd taken it and he'd watched as they circled each other and Gabriel, being Gabriel, had decided to insult his brother.

Lucifer was pissed.

Gabriel pulled the whole, I'm actually behind you, trick and Lucifer had seen right through it. He'd turned and stabbed Gabriel.

Sam wasn't thinking as he ran towards the two, lifting his arms, angel blade in hand, and bringing it down through Lucifer's head, killing him instantly. He hadn't been quick enough, though, as Gabriel lay sprawled on the ground, angel blade protruding from his chest, dead.

Sam couldn't stop the tears if he tried.

XXX

"Sammy, we have to go." Dean insisted, grabbing for Sam's hand.

"NO!" Sam had yelled, shaking his arm out of Dean's hand. "Leave me alone."

Sam wasn't even touching the angel, just sitting on his knees and looking down at the dead angel.

"Sammy..." Dean started, only for a hand on his shoulder to stop him. It was Cas and he looked miserable.

"He will not listen to you. Lucifer is dead now. There is time to grieve."

"Sammy..." Dean started again...but he couldn't think of anything to say, so he sat down beside his brother and shed his own tears for the angel who'd died protecting them.

The silence was deafening as they sat there, watching Gabriel's still body. Dean was almost about the break the silence when Sam did it for him.

"I'll bring him back." Sam promised, bending down and placing a small kiss to Gabriel's head. "You hear that Gabe? I'm going to bring you back. God himself can't stop me."

XXX

To be continued. Holy hell this one was long. :D

Review for me my darlings and continuation I will bring for you.