Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters...the goddess we know as Stephenie Meyer does.
Chapter 1: Dead
You always hear about people dying instantly in car accidents so, as I lay here slowly bleeding my life out over the asphalt road, a tiny corner of my mind is filing away these horrible moments under a mental post it note labeled "irony". I really can't get over the sheer unfairness of the situation…but maybe that's because instead of the blood rushing to make my brain function as it normally would, it's spilling out of the deep gashes all over my body with every stuttering heartbeat. Apparently not every hellish car accident kills its victims quickly; sometimes it throws them through the window of their antique, red tank of a truck and then allows them to bleed to death instead.
It's odd, really; before now I've been in hundreds of clumsiness-induced accidents and they've never killed me. Albeit those accidents weren't car accidents…they were more like trip-and-falls, broken bones, or the other hundreds of things that have happened to me on account of my inherently ungainly nature. Now though? Well now I'm staring up at the typically cloudy sky of Forks and wondering how on earth after all I've been through up until this point in my life, I'm going to die not because of my clumsiness, but because some Mack truck driver was paying more attention to the radio or the fast food he was eating than to traffic signals. I feel a slight, dancing pressure on my face and as my eyes blur I realize it must have started raining. My eyes are open and staring but now that they're blurred with raindrops, I suddenly feel as if I'm ensnared within my own mind, unable to reach the outside world.
Trapped in my mind as I am, I can't seem to get away from the intense, gnawing pain I feel even to the roots of my hair. I can't cry I don't think…my body isn't responding to any signals I try to give it. It's probably too wracked by the pain in every nerve ending to really respond to anything else. I can't bend my neck to look down at my legs but I know they must be mangled beyond belief. One doesn't just soar through one's windshield and not notice when their legs are torn to shreds and broken from the sudden stop as clunky old truck meets speeding Mack. How did it happen? How did I go from listening to one of the measly three radio stations Forks offers and looking forward to seeing Edward after another of his family's weekend "camping" trips, to lying in a road slowly bleeding to death? Life is many things: beautiful, horrible, absurd and severe…but above all, it's short.
You see, I have been intensely aware of my humanity ever since I met my beautiful Edward; falling in love with a vampire has a way of making a girl take the passage of time into closer consideration, after all. Until now, though, I have never understood just how fragile we humans are. In two seconds I have gone from driving to see my beloved Edward to loosing him forever. I always knew I would die first…I just didn't realize it would be so soon.
I take stock of my body, though it feels like one big ache and not separate, feeling parts anymore. My legs are going numb…my grandmother always said you die from the feet up and I guess her little superstition was right. My body shudders from the pulsing pain that only further sends the odd, stabbing sensations up my arms and down my shattered spine. Funny…where exactly did my legs go? I feel my stomach and chest heaving, my labored breathing only further damaging what must be shattered ribs. My face feels as if it's become an unmovable mask. Red has slid into my realm of blurry vision…that must be the head wounds.
I hear a distant siren wail across the air ghosting over my nerveless face and I wonder how long I've been here, splayed across the road like a butterfly pinned up for drying. I feel bitterness towards those colorful insects suddenly. Why do they get such an easy death? They get a little whiff of formaldehyde and expire painlessly in a glass bottle…so why do I have to lay here on cold and now, wet, asphalt dying slowly, excruciatingly? Belatedly I realize I can still smell…smell the revolting stench of my own blood and the clear rain I once hated but now have come to love. Rain means no sun, and no sun means Edward.
All at once, memories of him come in a torrent, crashing against the walls of my mind. Edward at school. Edward shopping with me. Edward laughing at me tripping over my own feet. Edward learning to cook so he could "feed the human". Edward at his house showing off for me on the piano. Edward leaning forward to ever so carefully breathe in my scent in and claim my lips as his. Always his. I've never been anything but his, after all. Tears rapidly spring to my eyes…apparently I can still cry. The feeling injustice of my dying here suddenly comes over me. I'm nearly never without Edward; he is always by my side. He is my protector and is eternally possessive of me, never letting me out of his loving sight. Why then, on one of the rare weekends he leaves me to go hunt, must this happen? Why can't I die in my beloved's arms as I was meant to? I was supposed to convince him that being a vampire like him and the rest of his family is what I truly wanted most…I was meant to die in his arms, with his venom running through my veins, changing me into what he was. So maybe I hadn't exactly convinced him it was the right course of action…but I had been working on it.
Where was Edward now, I wondered? He was supposed to be home from the hunting trip 30 minutes ago and I was supposed to meet him at his house to work on, of all things, a pointless science fair presentation. We were partners. Now the idea of Forks Highschool and its worthless science fair were so insignificant to my current situation I pressed it from my mind. I had better things to think about than whether or not we'd think up something creative or go with the generic volcano model so many students always fell back on. Another shudder of pain passed through my body and I noted it seemed weaker. How long have I been lying here? Five minutes? Ten? It can't have been long…I'm bleeding too much for it to have been much longer than that.
Without warning I feel the cold and sticky pavement covered in my blood fall out from under me as I'm lifted in strong, steel arms. I feel damp, chilly hands brush hair matted in blood from my forehead and suddenly the rain is no longer hitting my face. Instead, as my vision clears from the rain and mess in my eyes, I notice my savior and I are draped under what must be a raincoat. I glance up and meet beautiful topaz colored eyes, eyes that are looking at me with the most resolute expression I think I have ever seen. I realize with a mental jolt that I'm not in the arms of my Edward as I had first assumed. Edward doesn't look at me with a face devoid of the intense love I know he feels for me. While the face that stares down at me holds obvious concern and care for me, it simply doesn't hold the unfathomable depths of love Edward's would.
Other than the eyes the face seems haloed in a fuzz of blurry light and I try to croak out the one thing I want most in the world at the time: Edward. Only the name never comes. My mouth barely opens and the muscles of my throat clench as a thick froth of blood escapes its corners. I belatedly recognize the voice of my savior to be Carlisle's, Edward's father. He hushes me with a finger to my lips. I can't understand what words he mutters to me but by the cadence of his voice, I realize he's trying to comfort me. Oh Carlisle…don't you realize I'm not afraid? I'm too close to death to be afraid anymore. It's coming whether I like it or not and there isn't an ounce of panic in me. In fact, I feel oddly at peace. The only anxiousness that gnaws at me comes from the fact that my beloved isn't here. Where is Edward?
Carlisle gathers me to him and I feel his easy stride move us away from the horrible wreck that idiot driver caused for us both. I hear quick footsteps and shouts from behind us as Carlisle distances himself from the wreck and I feel a sudden heat build from the direction we came from. Without warning, an enormous and earth-shattering explosion sounds from the wreck site that I'm sure would have knocked Carlisle off his feet were he human. As it is, he doesn't even stumble but my ears are ringing now, only adding to the seemingly unending pain my body is feeling. My dying body gives another weak quiver of pain and my eyes begin to close, probably for the last time. With a sort of muted shock I realize I won't ever see Edward again. I should cry but my eyes won't produce the tears needed anymore. I'm starting to feel cold, and I'm certain it's not just because I'm in the arms of a vampire. I feel Carlisle dropping to his knees and reaching to pat my face lightly, bringing me back to awareness as he whispers words I can't hear. My vision clears again for a split second right before I completely black out…only for the last thing I ever see to be Carlisle lifting my bloody wrist to his strong, white teeth and biting down.
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