Sadness
Sadness is like death
It is looming in the future
You can't stop it
Sadness is like torture
It hurts you everywhere
It makes you scream for help
Sadness is like a virus
It leaves you weak and helpless
It attacks you from the inside
It can make you die
Yet, look at me, here I am
Still alive and breathing
You overcome sadness, grief, and despair
Just reach for my hand
Together we will conquer it all
Hurt
Hurt, pain, anguish
All can describe life
On the outside
It's fun, bubbly, and nice
Take a step inside the real version of life
Feel how it burns
Feel how it makes you cry
Feel how your heart beats slowly
Almost disappearing
You can feel life fading fast
It leaves you in pain
It leaves you alone in the dark
It leaves you hurt
Promises
You stand there
Thinking
She promised
You glare at her with realization
The world is not perfect
And she is most certainly not
She will lie to you
Backstab you
And try to destroy you
Just ignore it and
Shake away the pain
I could say
Things will always get better
Things could always be worse than what they are
I could tell you
Don't worry
We can make it out of this
We can survive
I could say all those things
But I would be lying
Happiness
Happiness
It is not pain
It is not betrayal
It is not realizing that all this time you've been lied to
It is not being kicked when you fall
It is not being pushed around when you are weak
It is not being left alone
In the dark
With no one to rescue you
Happiness
I wish I could tell you what it was
Reputations
Reputations
They will kill you
As soon as you trip
They will point and laugh
As soon as you fail
They will tease and taunt
As soon as you fall down
Curled in a ball
Weak and in despair
They will hurt you
They will laugh at you
They will smile at your unhappiness
They will try to kill you
And they will succeed
How do they kill you?
Not with shoves, beatings, or kicks
No, none of that,
They will kill you
With nothing but
Words
Misery
Misery
It is the lowest level
It is when you know that no one is there for you
It is when you feel dead
Misery
Where life seems pointless
You ask yourself
What am waiting for?
Who am I living for?
When will this be over?
How can I stop this all?
Where will it be, when it has gone too far?
Misery
It is when you ask yourself
Why do I bother?
I cry
I cry because they lied
I cry because they betrayed me
I cry because they tried to kill me
With their words of insult
I cry because I am hurt
They lied
They lied about things being perfect
They lied about being true to myself
They lied about keeping my secrets
They lied about our friendship
They lied about our trust
They lied about never letting me down
They lied about supporting me
They lied about understanding me
They lied about everything I thought was real
They lied
That is the truth
The one and only
Truth
Them
I say I love them
How can I?
Always being compared
Always being second best
Always not as good as
Them
She's a musical genius
She's beautiful
She's trendy
She's strong
Inside and out
She's clever
What am I?
To the world
I am the smart one
I am the smart one, but I am also
The untalented one
The ugly one
The style-less one
The weak one
The "take forever to get a comeback" one
No one can stop this
Them
They are better
Them
They aren't my enemies
No
They are the opposite
They are the ones I say I love
Yet, how can I?
Everything
Everything
I think I am everything
I think I am perfect
I think I can manage on my own
I think I can trust the ones closest to me
And trust myself
But I'm not
And I can't
I am not perfect
I am horrible
I can't go a day on my own
I am helpless
I try to trust
But I can't
Betrayal has taught me never to trust
Trusting myself
Ha!
That is a joke
To trust oneself is to trust one's own personal enemy
How can I trust someone who ruins everything?
The one who has turned everything perfect and good into horridness
The one who has cost lives
The one who has cost herself her own life
My Fault
I scream
I yell
I beg to be forgiven
But I have not
And will not
Ever
Be forgiven
I have ruined everything
With my hopeless lack of trust
My fake smiles
My rude, witty remarks
My whimpers of forgiveness
They are drowned out
Drowned out by my own tears
My own cries of sorrow
I promise it will never happen
That I will never be horrid
But I am
I don't try to be
I just am
I let the sobs of lost hope continue
Because that is how I know I will continue
Without love I have lost everything
I have
Died
Inside
And Soon
Oh, so very soon
I will stop being dead on the inside
I will be dead
On the outside
I will die
At the hands of the only one I could trust
My soul
Your Eyes
You looked at me once, and my world changed
All of a sudden
Everything was better
I had a will to live now
I had exciting news
Each and every day
I smiled more
And yet my life has changed so much more
I can't stop thinking about you
I hate it
But I love it
I love it because I almost ended it
My life
But I knew you would be there
They would be too
But I could survive
So I will say this once and for all
Thank you for letting me find a purpose
The choice
I am done shedding the tears
I'm finished with yelling at myself
Repeating the same words
Over and over again
Ugly
Fat
Weird
Bitch
The words echo in my mind
But today, I choose to end those words
I choose to finally show them
I've had enough
I'm sick of the fakeness
I'm sick of the harsh truth
So I sit here
Blade against wrist
My mind flickers with too many thoughts
But I force them to end
I run my free hand along my scars
The scars that mark failure
But I've stopped
And so,
With blade in hand,
I press it close to my wrist, breaking the skin
The first drops are slow and separate
Then they flow faster
I feel the edges of the world growing darker, and darker
With one final slice, I realize that my choice is final
I smile as the world slows and stops, fading from my eyes
I smile
I've silenced the screams
A/N: Just a glimspe inside my messed up mind. The truth that resounds so stronly inside. I made a playlist called truth these are the songs:
Blind-Ke$ha
Bones Shatter-Hedley
Dancing with Tears in My Eyes-Ke$ha
F**ckin' Perfect-P!nk
Gettin' Over You-David Guetta and Chris Willis ft. LMFAO and Fergie
Paralyzer-Finger Eleven
Welcome to My Life-Simple Plan
Me Against the World-Simple Plan
Crazy, Beautiful Life-Ke$ha
Shut Up!-Simple Plan
I've felt every emotion inside those songs. So, maybe I'll update these poems. Maybe I won't. Maybe I won't bother to keep going.
Ever think of that?