On the Bus
Oneshot Title: On the Bus
Fandom: House M.D
Story Summary: She told him to get off the bus. But, really, since when does House listen the first time he's told? [Dialogue. During S4 Finale]
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Focus: House and Amber talk a bit longer on that hallucination bus of his
Rating: T/PG-13 for use of the F-word twice and House being OOC, yet at the same time the doctor we all know and love.
Author's Starting Notes: Okay, I literally wrote this in like May/June but never actually did anything with it. I found it like last week, and rewrote it because I didn't like this one section of it, but whatever. I've always been intrigued by House/Amber and felt that their conversation on the bus at the end of 4x16 ("Wilson's Heart") could have been longer and answer the question I was wondering - and we all know House was. This starts close to the end of the last bus scene. And, can I give a nice virtual hug to Midnight Raptor, who read over this for me. Thanks again.
Time Stamp: Posted November 2nd, 2008
1:
"What now?"
"I could stay here with you,"
"Get off the bus,"
"I can't,"
"Why not?"
"Because… because it doesn't hurt here. I let it… I don't want to be in pain. I don't want to be miserable. And I don't want him to hate me,"
"Well, you can't always get what you want,"
"…"
"House, what are you doing? Get off the bus,"
"No,"
"No?"
"Not yet,"
"God, stop being such a wuss. They'll hate you. You'll be in pain. I get it. Get over it!"
"That's… not it…. Is this - are you - am I in one of those hallucinations I seem to favor so much?"
"Obviously you aren't walking the Earth right now,"
"I mean, are you part of my head, or is there some higher deity mocking me right now?"
"Try to lie to me,"
"That outfit is slimming,"
"Ha. Seems I'm not you, House,"
"Good."
"Good?"
"Are you going to do that with all my one word answers?"
"I'm hoping there won't be too many more before you get off the bus,"
"I just have one question. It's been in my head since I first realized who you were,"
"And?"
"Do you, that is, did you ever not like Wilson?"
"Only time he bothered me was when he hung out with you,"
"Okay, you don't get it. Did you ever like anyone other than Wilson?"
"I guess Cameron wasn't so bad. And, it was pretty interesting working with-"
"God, Amber, did you feel anything for me?"
"…"
"…"
"What?"
"It was a question, my question,"
"Do you have any idea how much sarcasm and bitterness would be in that relationship?"
"Was that a yes, or a no?"
"It was neither,"
"And that would mean…"
"It would mean that you get off this damn bus like I've told you to,"
"Can't do that, not until I know,"
"Why is that important to you? I'm dead,"
"Dead is not a diagnosis,"
"Yeah, I know, you told me that before,"
"And obviously it did not cement if you're asking me why I care about why it happened,"
"I had a cold, the medicine I took. Amantidine binds with-"
"I don't care about the medical reasons! I just want to know why you picked me up. W-why you dragged me out of the bar, why you got on the bus, a-and why you were fully clothed!"
"Fully-clothed?"
"Lack of objectification on my part, I know. Explain the others to me, Cutthroat,"
"Why?"
"Why what!"
"Why should I tell you anything? All it will do is keep you on the fucking bus,"
"Actually, it'll get me off the fucking bus,"
"All the reasons you listed for wanting to know are stupid,"
"And so is this conversation,"
"Then why are we having it?"
"Because you won't answer my question,"
"It's an idiotic, irrelevant question that will make no difference to you once you're back out there, lying in some hospital bed, from having your brain fried by my boyfriend,"
"It was Kangaroo Jack to be honest. Boyfriend just sat there asking questions in blue scrubs,"
"House, please, just go,"
"Is me being here destroying your eternal rest, or something?"
"As a matter of fact, it is,"
"The answer my question and I'll be gone. I can wait. You've got all the time in the world. Who cares if they pull the plug on me? It'll just give us more time to chat,"
"…"
"…"
"Fine. No, I don't,"
"No?"
"Now, who's repeating?"
"…"
"Come on, time to go,"
"You're lying,"
"I'm not lying,"
"Why wouldn't you? We can lie to each other, why not?"
"Better question is why in the first place. I don't need to lie because there's no one to protect, no one to harm. It's over. Why shouldn't I die truthfully?"
"Because I know if I was dying, one of the last things I would do would be to lie my ass off so that I end up with Diagnostics wing dedicated to me, or a bunch of crying supermodels weeping over my grave sight. We're alike, you'll lie, and quote people to make yourself sound smart. What did you say when Wilson told you that you were dying?"
"What makes you think I-"
"Amber,"
"'We are always gonna want just a little longer',"
"That's poetic. Never mind, that's pathetic. It's obvious, mundane, and not in anyway something to make him feel better. On your death bed, you try to seem self-sacrificing, but we both know part of you wished that it was me lying there with Jimmy over my side practically in tears,"
"I didn't wish for that,"
"Of course you did, who wouldn't?"
"Me! I didn't wish you any harm. In fact, you didn't even cross my mind. You put yourself on this pedestal and expect for everyone to acknowledge it but never question you on it. You think you're too rough, too jagged, and too complicated for anyone to deal with and push every person you come in contact with away. It's why instead of doing interviews, you came up with your stupid game. Only, somewhere in your subconscious, you wanted to know more people, know them better, so, you drew out the game for a ridiculously long amount of time, you hired a person who you knew would be a headache to figure out, and you fired the person as like you as possible. Because, really, the last thing you wanted was another cutthroat person in your office. You were the one who thought about me. You were the one to freak out over the prospect of James and I together. You were the one sabotaging relationships. You were the one who got yourself drunk in the middle of the goddamn day just because the thought of losing your best friend scared the shit out of you. Well, now, you are the one who gets James. Don't blow it, you asshole. Get off the bus, and when you can, help him get over me. That would be the kindest thing you could ever do for him. Maybe it could even dent the surface of the 'Things-Wilson-Did-For-House' list.
"Just, gosh, please, House leave,"
"I will. There's one more thing though. One thing I have to do,"
"What is it?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Good-bye, Amber,"
"Good-bye, House,"
"…"
"House!"
"…"
"Maybe I lied,"
"Maybe I did too,"
"When?"
"When I said it didn't hurt here,"
"..."
"It always hurts."
"I'm sorry,"
"So am I,"
f i n
© Everything written above belongs to me (FF user, Paint Me a Symphony). If somebody is out there pushing this as their own, they are lying. I may not own House M.D, the conversation on the bus that inspired this forever ago, or its characters, but I do own this.