Author's comments: My first actual Weiß fic! This is a bit confusing.it
does shift positions. But it's about Bradley and.....well, whomever you
want. Love Schwarz!
The lights and sounds of the city illuminate the small hotel room. A sudden flash streams through the lightly curtained window. I can almost make out the silhouette of your body for a second, perfect in my memory. But it's gone with the lightning. I hear the great crash of thunder outside, and tears start tracking down my face like the rain. Ridiculous. I try to wipe them away. So.....maybe you were right. Maybe. That doesn't help, though. I know you would laugh at me now, in that way you do that makes me feel so....vulnerable. You throw your head back, letting all that hair slide off your shoulders and down your back until it touched the ground, your small form shaking, and then you'd look at me with that crooked grin....I know you were right.
I close the blinds. It won't help me to sleep, but at least I won't be able to see. I fall back onto my bed, and wrap around me the sheets and my memories of you. I remember holding you in my arms, with a sort of mutual desperation. I would hold you until I couldn't see that nothing would save us.I didn't want to see the real world when I was with you. I didn't want to look at my fucked up life, all the mistakes that were tattooed into my name, my only name. They have taken my soul, and they could not leave me my name.
I wonder, though.you could make me forget, but what would you do if you saw me now? Could you ever believe that people are truly good? I didn't. Could you forgive me that? I need someone who still believes that everything will turn out all right, who believes that fundamentally, people are good. I may scorn such ideas, but sometimes....well. Maybe I'm just being too emotional right now. I know I'll get over it. I have to. I just can't help but wondering, alone in this hotel room with the sound and the lights that remind me so much of you, if you would.would love me even if you knew what I was.
Oh God.....of course you would. I'd yell and all you would do is smile and forgive me.....
The city lights once illuminated your face. Bright eyes turned to look at me, and your figure glowed.....all I could hear was your laugh. I was the shadow that spilled your blood. Me. The gunshot, one splitting noise that broke the world. And then all I could remember was the times I yelled at you, every time we fought and I would walk out on you....all I could hear was every last bit of regret.
My tears run as freely as the falling rain, and I have no more control over one then the other.
*Click* I jump a little as the door opens. I turn, composed again as I face my intruder. Shuldich. He leans against the doorframe; face slightly light up in the glow of the computer screen. I look at what I was typing, and quickly minimize the program. "Yes?" I hear myself say in deadpan expression.
"...whatcha doing?"
"None of your business."
"Hn. Touchy?"
"..."
"Anyway," he scoffs, slightly annoyed with curiosity, "Takatori needs babysitting again. You'd better be ready to go by seven." I don't respond. He scowls. "Fine then." He turns to go.
"Shul?" He turns, surprised at the use of his nickname.
"....yeah?"
"Do you believe...?" I pause, and look away. "Never mind." He tilts his head, but does not pursue. I hear the door close. I turn back to the computer screen, and bring up what I was writing. I sigh, and close the program. Of course, the story wasn't about me.of course. I get up from my previous position and adjust my suit. After all, the show must go on...
The lights and sounds of the city illuminate the small hotel room. A sudden flash streams through the lightly curtained window. I can almost make out the silhouette of your body for a second, perfect in my memory. But it's gone with the lightning. I hear the great crash of thunder outside, and tears start tracking down my face like the rain. Ridiculous. I try to wipe them away. So.....maybe you were right. Maybe. That doesn't help, though. I know you would laugh at me now, in that way you do that makes me feel so....vulnerable. You throw your head back, letting all that hair slide off your shoulders and down your back until it touched the ground, your small form shaking, and then you'd look at me with that crooked grin....I know you were right.
I close the blinds. It won't help me to sleep, but at least I won't be able to see. I fall back onto my bed, and wrap around me the sheets and my memories of you. I remember holding you in my arms, with a sort of mutual desperation. I would hold you until I couldn't see that nothing would save us.I didn't want to see the real world when I was with you. I didn't want to look at my fucked up life, all the mistakes that were tattooed into my name, my only name. They have taken my soul, and they could not leave me my name.
I wonder, though.you could make me forget, but what would you do if you saw me now? Could you ever believe that people are truly good? I didn't. Could you forgive me that? I need someone who still believes that everything will turn out all right, who believes that fundamentally, people are good. I may scorn such ideas, but sometimes....well. Maybe I'm just being too emotional right now. I know I'll get over it. I have to. I just can't help but wondering, alone in this hotel room with the sound and the lights that remind me so much of you, if you would.would love me even if you knew what I was.
Oh God.....of course you would. I'd yell and all you would do is smile and forgive me.....
The city lights once illuminated your face. Bright eyes turned to look at me, and your figure glowed.....all I could hear was your laugh. I was the shadow that spilled your blood. Me. The gunshot, one splitting noise that broke the world. And then all I could remember was the times I yelled at you, every time we fought and I would walk out on you....all I could hear was every last bit of regret.
My tears run as freely as the falling rain, and I have no more control over one then the other.
*Click* I jump a little as the door opens. I turn, composed again as I face my intruder. Shuldich. He leans against the doorframe; face slightly light up in the glow of the computer screen. I look at what I was typing, and quickly minimize the program. "Yes?" I hear myself say in deadpan expression.
"...whatcha doing?"
"None of your business."
"Hn. Touchy?"
"..."
"Anyway," he scoffs, slightly annoyed with curiosity, "Takatori needs babysitting again. You'd better be ready to go by seven." I don't respond. He scowls. "Fine then." He turns to go.
"Shul?" He turns, surprised at the use of his nickname.
"....yeah?"
"Do you believe...?" I pause, and look away. "Never mind." He tilts his head, but does not pursue. I hear the door close. I turn back to the computer screen, and bring up what I was writing. I sigh, and close the program. Of course, the story wasn't about me.of course. I get up from my previous position and adjust my suit. After all, the show must go on...