Deidara Days

by Ralneox

The specter stared at me for a moment before replying. "Your equipment is currently in your room. You can retrieve it later. But now that you're here, I can initiate you into our small but growing family. Welcome Deidara, to the Akatsuki." Deidara's POV

Author's note

I always wanted to write a deidara story. But I haven't been writting lately because my computer lost all of my files with the next chapters of my stories in them which really pissed me off. All that work gone. They were well written too. Any way, read and review please. I want to know If this story will sink or swim. This story starts from deidara's point of view just after he first met the akatsuki. Slanted words are like that for emphasis and the bold words are black half of zetsu speaking. Enjoy

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Chapter 1 - First Impressions

I cant believe that this is happening. I cant believe that it happened! My art was outdone by some cloud cloaked wearing ingrate! Curse him and those eyes of his, the sharingan! He doesn't understand the subtle design and refined beauty my ninjustu, my art! None of them do! They all strut from my temple with bored expressions on their faces! As though finding my hideout and temporarily subduing me was about as fast paced as walking down the road and fetching a pale of water! I am an artist! And not just any artist! I am the artist of the most noble and refined art! The explosion! The sudden piercing existence of such a wondrous and demanding creation! That is my art! That is true art!

This lot, akatsuki or whatever, at least acknowledge that my ninjutsu is the very definition of art. That has to be the reason for their sudden, unwanted appearance. Coming out of nowhere and demanding my participation of there little country cloud club. What fools! Do they realise how stupid they look in those cloaks? No respectable shinobi would wear such an attire. They said they were here to recruit me, by force if necessary. Argh! I still cant believe that this is happening!

The tall blue one who had been staring at me for a while spoke up. "You should calm down. You haven't even been told what our goals are and you're shaking. . . . You need to sit down and rest, eh?" He said with a smirk.

I sneered at the blue blunder head. "I am not shaking with fear, you fool. And the only time I require a rest is when I am tired or defeated. Neither of which I currently am!" I spat back.

"Good." The short rounded one rasped. "We've wasted enough time finding you. Any more time wasted will get on my nerves. We move forward. No rest stops until we are at the base."

"Hmph. I didn't think itachi beat him that badly anyway . . . " The blue one off handedly said as he readjusted his giant sword. I doubt he could even lift the thing. Let alone wield it efficiently.

I Ignored the swordsman's previous comment in favour of glaring straight ahead. I was pleased that it took them a while to locate my hideout but I was infuriated by the blue ones constant insults. If I still had my clay pouches I would show them all! But the first thing they did before we set out was remove all the clay off my person and bound my thumbs and fingers together, palms facing outward. My palm mouths bared their teeth and waged their tongues as tauntingly as they could at my escorts but they paid no notice.

"We're here." The one they called itachi said as we rounded a corner of the rocky forest to arrive at a peaceful lake. I'd been here before but kept my distance. Not that I was scared, just that there wasn't anything of interest before. But now it seemed different. Now it seemed . . . intimidating.

I stopped at the shore and glared at the lake, annoyed that an embodiment of water had wound me up as much as it did but the other three kept walking, down the steep slope and into the lake. I was shocked when they ignored me and continued on. I expected the blue one to taunt me or the round one to growl at me about wasting time but they just kept on walking. I stared at the lake's surface, where they had sunk into its depths like phantoms. Did they expect me to follow? Did they honestly believe that I would just obey their every command and stay by there side, regardless of where they went? Fools! Why would I do such a thing? Any shinobi when caught will try to escape! Leaving your prisoner alone and able to escape is about as intelligent as wearing those ridiculous robes!

"Morons, hmmm . . . " I murmured as I turned around and bounded away from the lake, up the path we had just traveled down.

I practically flew up the mountain we had climbed down, towards my once secret hideout. My feet hammering a tuneless rhythm as I took short cuts through trees, shrubs and rocky landfalls to hasten my escape. It wasn't until I was back in the comfort of my own home did I wonder about what had just happened. Why did they let me go? They didn't even glance at me. They just kept on walking. But where were they walking to? What's at the bottom of that lake?

Annoyed at my lack of answers, I used a lone kunai in my private quarters to carefully cut myself lose before I went to get my clay pouch and restock on my precious clay. A few artistic explosions to calm my nerves and then I'll move my base of operations elsewhere before those cloud caped fools came back when they realise that I'm no longer in their charge. But I couldn't find my clay pouch anywhere. I was sure that they dropped it at the foot of one of the statues in the main hall when they disarmed me but its not there. One of them must have picked it up when I was distracted by itachi bounding my hands together in an uncomfortable position.

I growled in frustration.

That means that the last of my clay and my only clay pouch are currently with them, presumably in that lake. And my funding is dry. I went out on a mission today because I needed the cash. Now they have all valued belongings. That's why they didn't care when I went off. They knew that I'd probably come back when I realised that they had my possessions. Argh, I being played like a fool, by fools none the less! I'm going to go back there, take my stuff and show them the true meaning of art! Deidara style!

I prowled down the mountain side and around the lake, determined to reclaim my possessions and get explosive. I laid under a bush, watching the lake for any movement before silently darting out like a shadow. I slipped into the lake with no interferences, my senses strained in the black cold water for any danger. I swam to the bottom, rolled over and looked up and around for anything out of place. My position at the lake bed gave me the best view of my surroundings and it didn't take long for me to spot a large boulder imbedded in the lake bed off to my far right that seemed out of place.

I approached the boulder with caution and tensed as it slowly crawled across the lake bed like a huge aquatic snail. It revealed a small opening in the ground that the water around me didn't rush into. My curiosity peaked and I swam into the hole as the boulder closed behind me.

I was now in a room with a pool in its center, candles adorning the walls and a corridor leading dead ahead into this dark underground construction. I pulled myself out of the small entrance pool and shook myself dry, like one off the dogs in my old home village. Full of confidence despite being without my art in an alien environment, I walked on as I ran my fingers through my hair. Trying in vain to undo the tangles that had been weaved into my hair during my aquatic adventure.

I eagerly walked down the corridor as it twisted and weaved around unseen obstructions like a one of my artistic worm creations through the dirt towards its target. Which in this case was a large hall that I couldn't see the walls of. It just kept going. It was like looking into an abyss. I resisted the urge to call out and see how long it would take for my voice to bounce back.

"Deidara."

The simple mentioning of my name put me into battle mode. I crouched low as I whipped around, knees bent as my hands went for where my clay pouches were usually positioned.

I growled at the flickering specter in front of me. He, well I assume its a he, stood next to a lit candle, sitting in a box on a pedestal. The specter reached out for me, beckoning me to come closer. I glared at the newcomer, not budging from my spot.

"Who are you and where's my equipment?" I said as though it was a threat.

The specter stared at me for a moment before replying. " . . . Your equipment is currently in your room. You can retrieve it later. But now that you're here, I can initiate you into our small but growing family. Welcome deidara, to the akatsuki."

I glared at the specter. "I didn't realise that I had joined your little cloud country club."

"There are a lot of things you do not realise, deidara. But I will reveal them to you in time. But for now, come forward receive your ring. It is a vital part of the akatsuki. It proves that you are an accepted member. Once you have donned your ring you will then report to your room and wait for further instructions. When you are needed I will call for you."

And without another word he vanished. I took in the scene in front of me before slowly approaching the lantern. I quickly threw a glance around myself before looking inside the lantern. I saw that in the flame, was a small ring. I stared at it momentarily, having an inner battle as to whether I should take the ring or leave this mad house. Sighing and clearing my throat, I decided to take the specter on its offer and grabbed the ring.

The flamed licked at my fingers but, being an artist of the explosion, I paid little notice to the burning sensation. I instead pulled my hand out and inspected the ever so vital akatsuki ring. It didn't look like much. Just a plain gold ring with a blue gem with the kanji for blue in it. What, did they think I was an idiot? That I didn't know that the gem's colour was blue? First cloud clothing as the uniform and now rings for the drastically oblivious? What sort of mad house have I been roped into? This organisation is losing credit, and I haven't even meet all its members yet.

. . . Maybe that's why they came for me? Their organisation is that pathetic that they needed someone to save it, to show them the correct way for a shinobi to dress himself for example.

"Hmmm, I guess it cant be helped." I said as I stretched before placing the ring on my right hand's index finger.

I stared at the ring, admiring its simplicity. It fitted perfectly and now that it was on . . .

" . . . I really don't feel like taking it off."

"Fine with me. Why should he care if its fine with you!"

I slowly turned around, mentally preparing myself for the obvious freak show to come. I was rewarded with a sight that I had never seen before. A man with green hair, one half of his body coloured albino white while the other half was pitch black, was popping out of the floor nearby. The ground itself splitting like teeth into an open maw of which he loomed out of.

I stared at the freak, noting that he had the same bad fashion sense as the others. " . . . Do I really want to know?"

"Know what? He means our appearance. We aren't exactly your everyday shinobi. True, but neither are any of the akatsuki."

"What do want, hmmm?"

"We are here to escort you to your room. Unless you've figured out where it is since you've picked up the ring, that is."

" . . . Fine." I finally said after looking around for any signs of my room, desperate to be away from the split personality looney. " . . . Lead the way . . . "

The man's face split a creepy smile that freaked me out before fully emerging himself. "The name's zetsu. Now follow."

And without another word he glided past me and down a corridor that hadn't been there before. Before I could voice my question, he spoke up.

"Each of the akatsuki's bases are protected from outsiders in someway, shape or form." The gliding plant ninja said happily. "This one for example, is protected by powerful genjutsus. Multiple layers are applied to these halls. So even if you dispel one, the next one will ensnare you. You wont even realise you're still in it until we come and, ah, takecare of you, hehehe. The ring is like a members pass for the akatsuki. As long as you have it on one of your fingers, the akatsuki's bases will recognise you as an ally and will not harm you . . . much, hehehe. Lord pain can also contact us telepathically through the rings."

I nodded off handedly at the answer, despite zetsu not facing me to see it. After walking for what seemed forever, we finally arrived at a plain wall where there were no candles placed. "Well, this is it. End of the line!"

I stared at zetsu before looking at the wall that was my room. " . . . You're kidding, right?"

"Haahahaha! He doesn't get it! Of course he doesn't get it! This isn't your conventional shinobi dwelling!"

I frowned in annoyance at the man having a conversation with himself. "What are you two blabbering about, hmmm? I thought you were supposed to take me to my room, not some wall you forgot to light up!"

"This is you room. Its on the other side! You'll have to use earth style to get there. About ten meters dead ahead! Don't damage it. Its like this for security reasons. Enjoy you stay! Hahahaha!" Zetsu cackled before sinking into the floor without a trace.

I stood there, staring at the floor in confusion before checking out the wall. I can see why placing a room ten meters away from the main structure underground can be advantageous. But where would the air come from? And what if someone didn't know any earth style jutsus to travel underground? Though, I suppose that's the advantage. If anyone were to get past the genjutsus, they wont find this room. I mean, who penetrates an underground lair, gets past multiple layers of genjutsu, runs around for thirty minutes before stopping directly in front of a random wall and uses the right jutsu to get into the secret hidden room on the other side? I doubt anyone one could. Unless they could see through walls or sense dirt or something.

I turned to the bare wall in front of me. "Well . . . there's no time like the present . . . " I said as I pressed myself against the wall and flashed the hand sign for the jutsu I had in mind. "Earth Release: Scurrying Mole Technique." I muttered as I rocketed into the wall, through the 10 meters of earth that separated me from my from my destination and burst into a small well lit room.

I landed on my feet with the expertise that was expect of someone of my caliber. I glanced over my shoulder at the wall behind me, the earth already mending itself. "Not a scratch. Looks as good as new, hmmm. Its with skills like these that I was able to escape that ignorant village." I said proudly as I inspected my new private quarters.

It was three meters wide by four long with a closet at the end of the room. There were candles at either side of the room, to my left and my right that lit up this little room of solitude. A simple single bed was below the candle on the right and a desk with one draw and no chair below the one on the left. A small vent about the size of my fist sat on the roof in the middle of the room. Overall, the room was empty and depressing. Not a fitting dwelling for one such as I, but it will have to do, for now, at least.

I ran my flexible fingers over all the surfaces in the room. Checking for anything that might disagree with me. I looked inside the draw of my little desk and was pleased to find my equipment was in there. My clay for my art, my money to fund my art and my clay pouch to carry my art supplies. I grinned with glee at the coming destruction I was going to cause as I put them back in the draw.

I held my hands in front of me as my palm mouths stuck their tongues out and tasted the air. The room seemed mostly harmless. Having passed my little security clearance I accepted the room as for what it was and hopped onto the bed. I bounced and wriggled, trying to get comfortable on the slab before closing my eyes and resting.

" . . . Today has been crazy, hmmm . . . " I muttered as I drifted into a welcomed sleep.

Hours later, in my favourite dream where I'm bombing my home village with glee, I was interrupted. My eyes shot open. I could feel a foreign presence inside my head. The sensation was not welcomed, nor was it appreciated.

"Get out of my head!" I screamed as I frantically tore at my head in a vain attempt to release the growing pressure.

I felt the presence weigh me down and tower over me. A voice resonating in my skull.

"You will respect me, deidara. Now that you are a member of the akatsuki you will listen to my call and obey my instructions, regardless of what you are at the time doing. Leave your room and return to the main hall. I have to properly introduce you to the rest of the family. Do not tally."

And with that the mental intruder left. I sat in my bed, gasping for breath. I was just rudely woken from my sleep by that flickering specter and told what to do. How dare he! How dare he just barge his way into my mind and issue orders at will! Just to spite him, I'll take my time getting back. I've only been asleep for a couple of hours and I'm feeling sluggish. Plus, I can claim to have gotten lost in this maze of a base.

I took my time to get out of bed and back to the corridor on the other side. I slowly paced myself down the path in front of me as I noted the poor architecture of what I had seen so far. I should blow this place up. Do them all a favour.

When I finally arrived in the main hall I was greeted by the vast silence that generally accompanied this grand hall and several glares from more flickering specters. I glared back as I leisurely made my way over.

"Hmmm." Was the only noise I made as I took my place in the circle around the lantern.

I looked around and counted the specters. Five of them, not including the physically here small round one from earlier and the split freak zetsu.

"You're late." The round one stated, like it was a sin.

I grinned at him and barked a short laugh. "Hm? Really? I had no idea! After all, its confusing with all these passages looking the same. I guess I got lost. Oh well, hmmm."

The round one, despite not showing his lower face was shooting me an incredible nasty glare with his stone cold eyes.

"Kids these days." He muttered. "Definitely an early death type."

"That's enough sasori." The spiky haired specter who I first met said in a commanding tone. "We have much to discuss."

"Hmph."

"Well then, without any further delays, this is deidara, the newest member of the akatsuki. He was just brought in today. He will make a fine addition to this organisation and will further quicken our approach to our goal."

All the specters seemed to stare at me, analysing me for any weakness the could pray on. Not that they'd find any. After all, I am just like my art. Absolutely flawless.

I cleared my throat before addressing my audience. First impressions are important, regardless of situation.

"My name is deidara. I cast off my last name because of the shackles to the old society that it bound me to. I'm seventeen years of age and already an S-Class missing nin. My ninjutsu is the most noble and refined of all, it is, true art!The simple gestures and boldness of my works and their results cannot be beaten!"

"Then how come itachi was able to beat it if it cannot be beaten, eh?" The tallest flickering specter said, who I recognised as the blue idiot from before.

"Argh!"

"That wasn't art any way." The short round one rasped. "Those little white dirt clogs only last until you blow them up. How is that true art? True art lasts throughout the ages, admired by all. Not flashes of light and flame that last a moment. Your head needs to screwed on right, boy."

I bared my teeth in rage and glared at the imbecile. How dare he claim that my art is not the true art! How would he know anyway? Ignorant fool. He looks about as artistic as my faeces!

I was about to say so when the spiky haired specter interrupted. "Save your arguments for later. We still are yet to introduce yourselves. Do so accordingly."

"Hmph. Sasori."

" . . . Itachi."

"The name's kisame. Nice to meet ya, eh."

"We answer to the same name. Zetsu!"

"Kakuzu."

" . . . I am konan . . ."

"And I am pain. You shall address me as master pain or sir. Now that introductions are complete . . . everyone, go about your missions. Except you kakuzu. I need a word with you."

I watched as all the specters around me disappeared, except for one. Zetsu smirked at me again before sinking into the ground he stood on. What a creep!

"Kakuzu. You know why I called you back. Explain yourself. What have you done to masquerade?"

I turned my attention to the two remaining specters. The spiky haired one being this master pain while the other one with the pointed hood I presumed to be this kakuzu fellow.

"He got on my nerves. Kept blabbering about how he was the man behind the mask. He stirred the killing instinct in me, sir. And when I found out he used my money to cover his 27 million ryo tab, I lost it. I slayed him where he stood."

"Kakuzu, we've been over this before. You cant keep killing your teammates. That's the second one . . . Your becoming more work than your worth."

"Then give me someone whose not an idiot . . . The blonde here, for example. From what I've heard his 'art' as he puts it could be profitable. As long as he doesn't get on my nerves, I'm sure that we'll get along fine."

By the sound of it, this guy has anger issues. But he seems to be the financial man of this organisation. He could fund my art, pay me to blow up stuff, yeah. Sounds good to me.

"Not happening." Pain shot back. "Deidara has already been assigned a partner, kakuzu. It has been decided that deidara will work with sasori. Their arts will complement each other. You will meet up with them at one of your subordinates clothing businesses, I don't care which one. They will supply deidara with the organisation's uniform. There, you will all wait for further orders. I will send zetsu to scout out a new partner for you in the mean time. That is all." Pain's specter flickered out of existence, leaving me alone with kakuzu's and sasori.

Sasori trudged over to me but kept his distance, throwing glares at me the entire time. I was none too thrilled with this assigning either. I didn't want to be paired with this art challenged pie shaped fool. The angry scrooge sounded like a better choice to me.

"Well then." Speak of the devil. "Welcome to the akatsuki, deidara." Kakuzu's specter said with very little enthusiasm. He turned towards sasori and stared at him with what I thought could have been a mixture of jealousy and resentment before addressing the both of us.

" . . . You know of Kitca Enterprises?"

"Yes. I know of it." Sasori rasped in that dull bored tone he seemed set on using when ever he spoke.

I recognise that name. Kitca was the name of a company that had a clothing range. Their stores were all over my home land. Big clothing giant it was. Also had its hand in other markets as well. Resources, building services and aid what not. Does it belong to this kakuzu fellow?

"Meet me at the Kitca clothing store in Neako Village, in the earth nation. Ask for the manager and tell him your there for a special outfitting. He'll send to a place where you'll be taken care of. If he gives you any trouble, tell him 'The storm clouds of blood are brewing'. But try to tell him silently. I don't want any stupid idiots to overhear and put together that the manger goes white at that for a reason. I have enough idiots trying to make a quick buck of my merchandise. No need to add to the list."

"Aren't we supposed to meet you there? Where will you be?" I asked.

"My previous partner ran up a tab and paid for it with my hard earned cash. I'm going to follow it, and a get my money back. By force if necessary. I'll meet you at the rendezvous point." And with that, kakuzu vanished.

I stared at the place where kakuzu stood before turning towards my newly assigned partner. Only to find he wasn't there.

I whipped around to find him leaving the main hall and going down the corridor I first walked down to get here. I trotted up to him and glared at him when I caught up to him.

" . . . Why'd you leave me behind, hmmm?"

"Because I've had enough of my time wasted on you. First I had to get you here. Then I had to wait for you to get back and for the others to assemble. And now I have to escort some wet behind the ears blond idiot to get some clothes before spending the next couple of weeks working with him until he dies like the idiot he is, boy. So do not cross me or waste any more of my time. I'm in a bad mood."

"Psh, cry baby."

And at that, sasori sprang into action. His robe flickered as a large metal tail erupted forth and went straight for my throat. Shocked at the sudden attack, I ducked below it and rolled away before pushing off the ground and bouncing down the corridor. Putting some space between us.

We glared at each other as his tail hung in the air like a viper waiting to strike. Eventually he grumbled something about wasting time before recalling his tail. He slowly trudged towards me as I remained still as a statue, waiting for his next move. I tensed as he walked past me, onwards towards to base's exit.

"C'mon." He grumbled. "We're wasting time. Lets get moving."

I stared at his back for a moment before I followed about ten meters behind him. We trudged down the corridor and by the time I had reached the end and gotten to the entrance with the pool, he had already dived in the pool and left. Leaving not a trace of his presence.

" . . . Artistic wannabe. What's his so called art any way?" I muttered as I dived in and swan through the opening, into the lake.

Once out of the base I ignored the giant rock closing behind me and I swan to shore where I stood up to my full height before stretching. Surveying the area around me I spotted sasori making his way into the forest up ahead.

I caught up to him in no time at all. All though he continuously goes on about wasting time, he never seems to be in much of a hurry to get anywhere.

"I'm back, hmmm."

"Thank you, master of the obvious. I never would've guessed that without you. You're about as stealthy as a avalanche, boy."

I glared at my escort. "And why exactly would I need to be stealthy in an empty forest, hmmm?"

"You might attract unwanted attention, idiot! That's why! And stop making that hmmm sound, its annoying."

I smirked at sasori before bounding into the trees above us.

"Make me, hmmm." I said defiantly.

Sasori glared at me but didn't falter a step. He's like a machine. Always on time. Always in rhythm.

"Quiet, boy. Respect your elders."

"Why should I, gramps, hmmm?"

" . . . Grow up."

"Make me, hmmm!"

Sasori's head dropped slightly as he sighed. " . . . What did I do to deserve this? Orochimaru would have been a better partner than this boy."

"Orochi who, hmmm?"

"None of your business, boy. And get down from there. You look like a retarded flaming monkey swinging from tree to tree with that weird style."

"It's cause of my palm mouths, fool! They get irritated when they touch these trees for some reason! Any other tree is fine, but these ones bug me every time I touch them."

"I never thought I'd like a tree until now."

"You seem the kind to befriend trees. Is there a misses sasori tree somewhere, hmmm?"

Sasori simply growled at me and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the day. Having no more means to entertain myself I spent the next hour amusing myself with tree to tree acrobatics and aerial maneuvers before getting bored and landing next to him. He didn't acknowledge me and we marched wordlessly together towards our destination until nightfall.

We stopped for a quick break, both wordlessly agreeing that there will be no sleeping tonight. Sasori just sat down and stared straight ahead, like he wasn't quite there. I watched him for a few minutes before getting comfortable on a nice tree branch I found.

It was only then that I realised that I had forgotten about my clay pouches and my previous mission's payment back in the desk of my room!

"Sasori!" I barked as I jumped off my temporary napping post and landed in front of him. "Sasori! I left my equipment back at the base!"

" . . . And?" He finally replied without moving. Still in that stoned position on the ground.

"And that means we'll have to go back and get it! That's what, hmmm!"

"No. That means you will have to go back and get them."

"But the moment I leave you I know that you're going to move on without me, hmmm! And you'll probably make it as hard as you can for me to find you again!"

"Well, ain't that a pity? Go home and cry to your mama, boy. I'm not wasting anymore time on you. If you're that desperate about your false art and its supplies, then wait until we get to the rendezvous point and buy some new equipment."

I put my hands on my hips and scowled in annoyance at sasori's uncooperativeness. "My money was with my clay, in my clay pouch."

"Then ask kakuzu when we meet him to buy you some."

"I maybe new but I know that he'll probably try to kill me if I ask for any money, hmmm!"

"You don't have any other option."

" . . . You could buy them for me."

"And I'll be killed via hug from my deceased parents."

"Fine. . . . I'll just go and steal them, hmmm."

"As long as its not from a store kakuzu owns, you might as well."

"Which ones do kakuzu own?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"You're not being very helpful."

"Wasn't trying to be."

" . . . Then I guess I'll just, ah, um . . . "

"Your out of ideas, aren't you, boy?"

"Shut it! I'm thinking."

"I can hear the gears turning."

"I said shut it!"

"I know you did. Another obvious point out by the akatsuki's master of the obvious."

"Argh!"

I kicked a nearby tree in frustration. This sasori better die soon. Before kakuzu gets a replacement hopefully!

Eventually, after trying to think of a way to get some clay and a container for it and failing, I sighed in submission as I slumped against the tree I had previously kicked. I could take this kakuzu fellow down easily. But without my art, it'd be a challenge. A challenge that I did not want to take on.

"I guess . . . I guess I'll just ask kakuzu for funding and hope for the best, hmmm."

"Hmph."

"I'll probably be killed in a horrible way."

"Probably."

" . . . C'mon sasori. I know we got off on the wrong foot but help a fellow artist out."

"You don't even know what my art is."

"But I can learn. C'mon sasori, imagine it. Imagine two of the worlds greatest artists, working together! We would be unstoppable!"

"All this wordplay just to get yourself some new equipment?"

"Well try looking at it from my perspective, hmmm!"

"Your perspective?"

"Yeagh! Realise what its like to be me."

"If I were you, boy . . . I would realise . . . that . . . "

" . . . That . . . ?"

"It sucks to be you."

"Argh!"