Disclaimer: Don't own anything!

Warning: Delicate themes!

AN: With my other story finished, I decided to start something else. This is an entire new genre for me and it's my first attempt at Thor/Loki so please be nice. Any and all mistakes are my own. Let me know whether you want me to continue this or not :)

~ Terrible Love ~

Chapter 1

The party had lasted long enough for Loki. After having excused himself, he got up and left the large dinning hall. He cast Thor a long look, watching how he emptied another tankard of ale. It was his umpteenth one and with each tankard, his stories had gotten wilder and more ridiculous. No one seemed to notice, though, since they were all as drunk as Thor.

His mother Frigga had left the party about an hour ago and Loki was grateful for that. No mother should witness her son in such a mortifying condition. More laughter boomed from the the left side of the table as Thor mimicked a bear of some sorts and Loki merely shook his head. He had seen enough of this unpleasantry and refused to feel embarrassed in Thor's place.

So he made his way to his personal chambers and retired for the night. It had been pleasant - up to a certain point, but Loki had never been one for parties. Perhaps that was his most distinct difference with his brother. Their fighting style was nothing alike and where Thor surrounded himself with friends, Loki preferred solitude. Where Thor was Odin's favourite son, Loki was not.

As the youngest of the prince-ling brothers laid down his head on his pillow, he wondered what he did have in common with Thor. The same blood was the only thing that came to his mind and Loki huffed in annoyance. Surely that could not be the only thing? He turned to his side and pulled his covers over his head.

His door swung open and Loki tensed in his bed. He had not expected company, not after this hour and certainly not after seeing everyone so drunk. No one tended to care for Loki when they were drunk. However, Thor stood in the doorway, a gigantic grin covering his lips and Mjolnir firmly in his hand. Loki dreaded to think of how he would find the dinning hall in the morning.

Thor's grin only widened when speaking his name, "Loki."

"What are you doing here, Thor?" Loki asked, too tired to raise his voice or share the current state of his thoughts with his brother. He wanted Thor to leave him in peace, but that was the last thing on Thor's mind it seemed.

The thunderer strode forward, dropping Mjolnir along the way. It crashed to the ground and a heavy thud echoed of the walls. Loki rolled his eyes and pulled his knees up to his chest. "Thor, you're drunk."

"That I am," Thor said with surprising clarity and pride, "but I can still walk straight and enunciate my words."

"Congratulations," Loki mocked.

Thor allowed himself to fall onto Loki's bed before rolling over. His head was only inches away from his brother's and Thor giggled. He actually giggled and Loki wanted to smack him for it. Where were his manners? Oh wait, those vanished along with the ale. Loki rubbed a hand over his face, suddenly feeling extremely tired. When he lowered his hand though, he felt Thor's lips crush his in an almost desperate need.

Loki pulled his head back and pushed Thor away from him. "No," he warned, "not tonight."

"What's the matter?" Thor asked, moving closer again as Loki had tried to distance himself from his brother, "Loki, you can tell me anything."

With narrow eyes, Loki gazed at Thor. He was trying to read the sincerity in Thor's words, but he only found them incredibly blue and bright. "Whatever I tell you now, you'll have forgotten in the morning. You're drunk, Thor, so please go to bed."

"I am in bed," Thor smirked, earning him an eye-roll, "come on, Loki, you never leave me hanging like this."

"You're a spoiled brat who always gets what he wants," Loki muttered.

"True," Thor admitted, again with too much pride, "and I want this-" he moved closer to Loki until he lay almost on top of him, "more than anything in the world tonight."

Loki could smell the alcohol in Thor's breath and it repulsed him. He had tried to reason with him, Loki thought, so what other choice did he have in the end? And like he had said before, Thor would not remember anything in the morning. Turning his head to face Thor, he smiled charmingly. His next few words were a spell, however, and within a second, Thor fell into a deep sleep.

With effort, Loki pushed Thor's heavy body away from him until he lay on the other half of the bed. He had a few hours of rest and Loki turned his back to Thor, still trying to find something they had in common, but nothing came to his mind. It was so that Loki fell asleep, feeling agitated and lonely.

Not that he would ever admit this to Thor.

-o-o-

When he opened his eyes the next morning, Loki found a snoring Thor laying at his side. It wasn't the first time he had woken to find his brother curled up besides him, but it was certainly the first time Loki considered it...painful. He had not slept well and his dreams had been filled with a Thor looking at him as if the very sight repulsed him.

It made Loki wonder why Thor had come at all last night. Had he simply wanted to have Loki that night or was there more to it? Thor had all the friends in the world where Loki had none and he felt suddenly completely and utterly alone. With a few swift words, he lifted the spell from Thor and waited until he would wake up.

The thunderer did so with a loud groan, instantly grabbing his head had as if it were to explode at any given moment.

"Good morning," Loki said, keeping his voice soft. There was sharpness, however, that he had not been able to conceal, but Thor was too hungover to notice.

Thor managed to open one eye before rolling to lay on his back. "What a party," he sighed, amusement in his voice, "we should do that more often."

"We really shouldn't."

"Have we-"

"No," Loki quickly said, not feeling in the mood to explain matters to Thor. The idiot was too dazed to understand them anyway. There was even the slightest possibility he was still a little drunk. Loki moved to sit on his knees and looked down at his brother. "You were drunk and I wasn't in the mood for such games."

"I see," Thor groaned before opening his second eye, "it certainly explains the headache."

"Why did you come to me?" Loki asked, cocking his head to his left while watching Thor's expression with utmost care. From this position, he would be able to read his every thought. "Why did you want to sleep with me when I know for a fact that Sif is all over you at any moment of the day."

"You should not speak like that," Thor warned.

Loki ignored him. "And you should answer my question."

"What does it matter?" Thor answered loudly, pushing himself into a sitting position. He came to the same eye level as Loki and he never strayed away from his green gaze. "We've been sleeping together since we were teenage boys."

"We were experimenting," Loki said, remembering their first time together. They had been curious to explore their body, to see what possibilities lay within their reach and how much they could enjoy themselves. "What we are doing now is something else entirely."

"Yeah," Thor said, "now we fuck."

Loki felt a sting within his chest. Was that all he was to Thor? A brother he could have sex with on a regular basis? Was he so beneath him that Thor assumed he could simply be used? Thor appeared to be reading his thoughts and he brought a hand towards Loki's who wanted to pull away from the contact, but Thor did not let go.

"I am sorry," Thor apologized sincerely, "I hurt you and I did not mean it. I don't know what it is we are doing, Loki, but it is wrong which makes it all the more exiting."

Loki scowled. "That's something I really wanted to hear, Thor."

"We're brothers," Thor said, swiftly moving out of the bed. He was still wearing his outfit from last night, only now the fabric of his clothes were wrinkled. He looked dishevelled and Loki was not used to seeing him like this. "If father," Thor continued, "were to find out what we have been doing during so many nights, he would disown us, even cast us out."

Loki could only agree to those words. They were lucky Heimdall was sworn to secrecy and could therefore not tell Odin. However, Odin finding out would not be the worst part. Seeing the disappointment, the hurt and disgust in mother's eyes would be.

"I know," he sighed, unable to look at Thor suddenly.

It was only when a strong hand made him look up again that Loki dared to look into Thor's blue eyes again. Thor's head leaned forward and he kissed Loki with passion he had not shown last night. "I sleep with you because I feel good around you," he whispered, "because I actually love you."

At those words, Loki's shield seemed to slip away from him and he pulled Thor back into his bed. They would regret their actions - they always did in the end - but that never prevented them from falling into this pattern again.

And they like it this way.

-o-o-

A few weeks later

-o-o-

Raising Mjolnir, Thor blocked a hit from Hogun's sword. He swirled to his left and rolled over the dusty ground. He grinned as Hogun grows irritated with every passing second. They have been fighting for an hour already, but where Hogun grew tired, Thor only grew more amused. He was born to fight like this and he enjoyed every moment he spent on the training grounds.

He threw Mjolnir towards his friend, knowing that Hogun can dodge it effortlessly, but Thor tries anyway. It is always like this. They dare each other to go to the end of their capabilities, they force each other to play their best game, but a winner never truly emerges. That is not the point , however, enjoying themselves is and they are both having an entertaining time.

Thor laughed when Hogun managed to land a blow on his shoulder. He turned to his left and caught the returning Mjolnir in one hand. Knocking Hogun away from him, Thor watched the warrior fall to the ground a short distance away. Only then did he notice his public has grown with one person.

Loki was looking at him, his green eyes wide and insecure. Thor was not used to seeing his brother like that, as if completely distressed, and Thor placed his hammer down. To his right, Hogun slowly managed to stand upright, but Thor paid him no more attention. Sif, Volstagg and Fandrall seem as surprised to see Loki standing behind them as they quickly step back. No one is used to seeing Loki on the training grounds and the warriors three - minus Hogun - and the lady Sif exchanged quick glances.

Ignoring their attitude, Thor walked towards his brother and frowned. "Loki, is something wrong?"

"I must speak with you," Loki said in a stiff, tight voice. His eyes darted towards the others present on the training grounds and Thor did not understand. Loki had never cared much for them, but now he looked like he wished them away completely. It was something Thor did not enjoy to see within those green eyes.

"I am training," Thor said, "can't it wait until this evening?"

"No," Loki said instantly, his eyes locking with Thor's, "Thor, please."

Thor offered his friends a quick, apologetic glance, but walked with his brother away from the training grounds. He had expected Loki to go back to their personal chambers, but Loki brought him somewhere else entirely. Thor watched how Loki kept his lips tightly shut and how his hands were balled into fists. He even looked pale today.

Arriving in the grand garden of their home, Thor frowned. He had a dozen questions burning in the back of his mind, but he decided to wait for Loki to explain himself. Loki gazed around, searching for any unwanted visitors, but there was no one around. This seemed to relief Loki and Thor had to bite his tongue to keep silent.

"Thor, I am scared," Loki blurted, a trembling hand running through his smooth black hair.

Thor stepped forward, placing a hand on Loki's hip. The sight of a terrified Loki terrified Thor in return and he dreaded the feeling. "Loki, what is wrong?"

Again, Loki searched his surroundings. "Thor," he said ever so softly, tears filling his eyes, "I'm pregnant."

Thor's hand dropped from Loki's hip. He had expected much, but not this. Never this. He knew Loki was special, in every single way, but he had never considered him to be able to conceive children. For the shortest moment, he cursed him and his magic, blaming it for this mess, but Thor quickly forced those thoughts away. Of course this was not Loki's fault.

"I..." He wasn't sure what he should say, but he knew he had to say something, anything to sooth Loki who stood trembling on his feet. "Oh my!"

A sob escaped Loki's lips and he quickly pressed hand over his mouth. He closed his eyes and turned away from Thor. The thunderer detested the movement and pulled Loki close, embracing him completely.

"I am sorry, Thor," Loki whispered, pressing his face in his chest, "I didn't want this."

"I know," Thor sighed, trying to understand what he had gotten himself into. There was only one thought currently taking hold over his mind. Loki is pregnant. Loki is pregnant. Loki is pregnant. Loki is pregnant!

And it's mine.

"If anyone were to find out," Loki said, burying his head deeper into Thor's shoulder, "if father were to learn of this, then we're doomed."

Thor tightened his embrace. "Then we'll fix it," he offered, "somehow, we'll make this better again. This isn't the end, Loki-" he made Loki look into his eyes, "you're not alone in this."

Loki closed his eyes, more tears streaming down his face. "I know."