I wrote this as a gift for a certain someone's birthday and since today is the nine-year anniversary of the release of Twilight Princess, I thought it would be fun to share it.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and all its places, characters, and detritus belong to Nintendo, obviously.

Detritus - by Pseudo Twili

As he returned from his mission at Snowpeak, Link realized he was hungry. In fact, he was ravenous. He felt as though his inner wolf had set up camp in his stomach. He had consumed the last of his supplies the day before during his descent of the snowy mountain and even those hadn't provided him with much of a meal. During his stay in the Snowpeak mansion he'd sustained himself on Yeto's soup and he never dreamed he'd get so tired of pumpkin and cheese.

The hero emerged into the watery paradise that was Zora's Domain, but he simply could not get the images of food from his mind. Midna kept her usual low profile in his shadow and he nodded rather absently to the Zoras he passed. His feet took him by the fishing hole before he quite realized where he was, whereupon he stopped, turned and retraced a few steps. He stared at the wooden carving of the fish on the entranceway to the hole.

Food! Link grinned, almost wolfishly, and entered the little haven.

Midna flew from his shadow and hovered a foot from the ground, her hands placed on her hips. "You're not going fishing again, are you?!"

The young man didn't even pause to address his companion, but continued on a driven path in one certain direction as he muttered, "I've got to. I'm hungry."

Now, Midna had grown just a bit more patient and tolerant of the hero's needs and desires, but on the subject of fishing she was bound to be irritable and snarky. Naturally, her goal was to find the Mirror of Twilight and then to stop the tyrannical Zant before he could wreak more havoc in her world, but Link's aim seemed to be mainly fishing, as he stopped at nearly every watery spot that contained the little creatures. Why, one time they'd even come across a dark little pool with some skullfish and bombfish, the latter of which he'd cheerfully fished out and stowed in his bomb bag.

"Yeah, like you needed to catch those greengills in the Forest Temple, or those bass in the mines. You were just goofing around when you stopped to catch the loaches in the Lakebed Temple and the pikes in the river. You come to the fishing pond after every dungeon and I'm tired of it! For the last time, Link, we've going to go find the next piece of the Mirror of Twilight!"

"I'll only catch a couple, Midna, I promise. Besides, if I don't get something to eat I'm liable to do something crazy the next time I transform."

The little imp looked like she was about ready to grab him in her magical hair-hand and throttle him. "You stupid wolf…! You… I… Arrghh!"

With that final cry of futile exasperation, the girl dove headlong into his shadow and was ominously quiet. Link paid her no mind, though, as he seated himself upon the lush grass and tossed his beloved rod into the crystal-clear waters. He licked his lips and thought how delectable one of those fat Hyrule bass would taste after cooking for a bit over a nice fire. Ah! He was practically drooling as he waited a mite impatiently for a nibble.

Several minutes passed, in which the bobber of the young man's rod was surprisingly not dragged down at the bite of a curious fish, but only floated serenely on the surface of the water. Link was past beginning to wonder what the problem was; his slight smile at the thought of some freshly-caught fish had been discarded and a frown of bemusement took its place. He even went so far as to collect some bait, both worms and the revolting bee larva that he'd vowed never again to eat; he tried to lure in the fish with those, but nothing worked.

"I don't understand it!" muttered he to himself. "This place is always teeming with fish! Why can't I catch any of them?"

Almost as soon as he uttered it, his line dipped and gave him quite a start. Link jumped to his feet and pulled on his rod for all it was worth; during those few seconds he wondered what he'd caught and how he should cook it. Perhaps it was greengill, and even though they hadn't much flesh he'd be glad for one of them, or a catfish like the ones he so enjoyed back in his village, or maybe a plump bass or heavenly loach. The saliva was very freely flowing at that point.

I am sure you can imagine the look upon the hero's countenance as he pulled up the line and found himself staring at a slimy, soggy, very worn boot dangling at the end of Ralis' coral earring hook.

"A boot?!" he exclaimed sourly. "Who throws boots in the water?"

Purposely, he stretched out his free hand, detached the footwear with a yank, cast it aside and threw the line back into the pond. This time he hadn't long to wait before something again jerked his rod, and he tugged at it mightily, this time sure that he had latched onto a flesh-and-blood fish.

Link, much to his disgust, brought up a wheel, from which dangled a web of wet weeds and, of all things, a small piece of rope. Subsequent tosses of his fishing rod netted him empty cans, twigs, more empty bottles of varied shapes and sizes than he'd ever have use for, and more wheels and silt-filled boots. (Would there ever be a day when people didn't throw boots away like that?)

That day, the hero fished so much junk from the pond that it literally made a pile on the little dock next to which he stood. His face, formerly so carefree at the mention of fishing, wore a frown that had deepened with every bit of trash that came up; he'd first turned red with exasperation and an anger without target, which later turned to the purple of rage and extreme vexation. A growl sounded every so often; a casual observer would have had difficulty in deciding whether they emanated from his stomach or his throat. Link was very stubborn and because he'd set his fancy on having a fish for a meal, he kept doggedly flinging his line back into the water and telling himself that he would catch one this time.

It occurred to him that perhaps the spot—his favorite—was all fished out; whereupon he moved to another bit of shore and tried again. The young man moved to several different locations and the yield from each made him grind his teeth. Was there some sort of curse on the fishing hole? Were all the denizens of its waters dead? Where in the heck were all the fish and why did he hook nothing but all of the most useless garbage?!

Finally, Link had had enough. He dashed his rod to the ground and shouted, "That's it! I am never going fishing again!"

He hadn't thought to wonder where Midna was during that whole ordeal, nor did he care as he crushed the grass in his stamping rampage from the pond. The little imp wasn't in his shadow, nor had she been since he first threw his line in the water. She'd gone down to the sandy pond-bed, enveloped in a protective layer of shadows, and sulked amongst the wavering underwater grasses. When she saw the pretty pink hook drift nearby she really lost her head; the fish that flocked to it scattered because she made all sorts of weird faces and wild gesticulations. A little while later, a brilliant bit of inspiration popped into her head like the spring of a tektite, which she quickly put into action. That was when Link started making all the catches he didn't want.

"Eee hee hee!" Midna giggled, after hearing her companion's outburst. She grinned and left her watery hideout to join him.

~ Fin ~

This is based on a story that I told my sisters years ago while we were performing some boring outdoor chore and I recently decided to write it. I particularly enjoy fishing in the games I play (TP, OoT[3D], MM3D, PH, Okami, and the Mii Plaza game, Ultimate Angler) and sometimes my sister looks upon it with jesting distaste, something like "You're fishing AGAIN?" or "I should have known it. Fishing!" Even more than I enjoy catching fish, I love to pull up the junk and see the disgusted expression written across Link's face. I've even kept count of the many different articles that I've fished out. It's really fun!

Hooray for the announcement of TP HD! I am so excited and delighted! I cannot wait for March Fourth! On that day we will march forth on a beautifully redone adventure!