It was Christmas Eve and strangely I was all alone.

It was Christmas Eve and I walked down the streets with nothing than the dark coat I was wearing over my back.

My eyes were still stinging from the pain that was given; I held my face gingerly and breathed into my hands in order to preserve not existing warmth.

The snow was falling from the sky that night and my flesh were burning due to the cold piercing air.

I allowed myself to rest on the step before the house where it was dark and lonely; the sad pieces of coins in my pocket made no noise and so were my surroundings.

The snow made everything white and everyone was out, there was no one on the streets in the middle of the night, I hear much cheers and happy voices from the houses that I had passed but their mood did not infect me. Memories swarm by into my mind, showing me pictures that I have no desire to see; it is a very lonely day.

Every minute that passed by, the air grew thin and I could not breathe properly, my head was heavy and I rested against the blue fence next to me. It is turning into a blizzard, snow and wind whirled around relentlessly. All I wanted was company yet memories that were returning forced me to face reality, my life is empty.

As emotions started to bind me tightly, I turned a corner and came across a large mansion of sorts; it was big however it was also desolated. The structure was all to be admired though my sight gazed across to a shadow slumped on the ground; my curiosity took over as I approached it.

The wind did not hide the fact that someone was coming, the left side of my body had sunk into the white snow freezing flesh and blood. I could feel myself shivering uncontrollably, though not exactly sure what the reason was. The fear of being hurt in anyway made water fall from my eyes, yes; I am a weakling, so afraid and so empty.

I realized what it was; quickly I placed the dark coat over the shivering person and rubbed her shoulders. She felt cold and stiff and my thoughts flew, clenching my fist, I pulled her over my back and ran towards 2nd lane. Her breathing sharply and the painful moans close to my ears, it made my heart churn so badly, all I could do though was to whisper to her 'stay with me'.

I could not breathe any further, every single breathe I took felt as though it had shot through my heart. If the world was as cruel as I believed it was, then this person who is right before me is the silver lining. It was as though I was waiting for judgment to fall upon me; this might be the only way to be released from this emptiness. The sheer shock of fabric jolted most of my senses awake, he was not going to hurt me? I am not…going to die…? I saw the dark fabric and everything else turned into darkness.

I held her hand tightly, as she was wheeled into an emergency clinic. I rushed with all the strength I could muster, she had not spoken a word since we entered the clinic and the coldness of her body frightens me, though I could not leave her side, it was a strange feeling, and I just couldn't resist staying by her. She needed to be protected was what I thought; I saw her blonde hair disappear through the doors as it closed shut with a snap, the rest of the night would be very difficult.

I felt that I was in a limbo, transiting between life and death tempting me to choose one of them. The feelings were confusing and I was constantly in pain and turmoil. When I could breathe again, I was alive and well staring at the light orange ceiling up above, the heater was working and the room was warm. The snow out there was throwing a fit and yet I was safe indoors. My gaze landed on another presence in the room, he was napping in the cushion chair nearby, and by the looks of it, and he may be just a couple of years older than I was. I noticed the black coat lying uncaringly next to him, 'was he the one who rescued me?'

I was watching over her the whole night, I refused to sleep or rest even though the nurses requested me to do so, but I could not put down that heavy heart of mine to rest, I watched as she tossed and turned slightly in the bed trying to cope with medication after effects, I could not do much but changed the cloth on her head so that her fever would be more stable. I believed the night could be not that much of a heart wrenching one if I had not heard what she whispered during the second hour.

'I want to die…' was what I said, a single sentence that I was sure I had spoken without meaning too, known deep within my heart that this was what I said, and there was a deep reason why I desired death. I felt the skin on my back still raw from what had taken place a couple of nights before, was I just a tool to be used? Was my body nothing more than a fool prove method to keep your knowledge safe? Don't I have a meaning to live?

I watched from between my sleeves as the girl stir from her sleep, she was whispering something to herself and all the while holding her hands to her chest as though praying to a higher order, I noticed a single tear fall from her cheeks. And I could not help but to approach her, and wipe that tear away, it is not her to be sad, even though I had just known her for that day; I just knew that she was capable to be beautiful in her own way and such a person should not die.

"Don't cry" I told her as I wiped the tears away from the cheeks gently, I felt her finch slightly and I saw those tear filled blue eyes look at me wearily.

"Thank you for saving me…" she said peering over my shoulder addressing the curtains instead of myself.

"Death should not be sought after by a person with such a beauty." She looked at me as though I had just said something wrong, but a few seconds later she gazed away and shook her head.

"You don't know me…" she started but I jabbed in.

"Riza Hawkeye, right?" her eyes widened, she backed away from me and pushed away my fingers that was still on her face.

"My dad asked you to find me?" she questioned with those eyes burning with intense piercing fire. I nodded and took out a picture from my pocket and passed it to her. It was a picture of her and her friends during school days, she swiped those off my hands and they scattered to the ground, she was shaking uncontrollably. It was true, I was sent by her father – Master Hawkeye to locate and bring her home, I followed his orders in order to learn his secrets but I am not totally convinced that his orders was the truth after all.

"Get away from me!" She shouted, she pushed me away and clambered out of her bed, I had to hold her back, she glared at me and tried to force the grip I had on her hands away. She resisted with all her strength and without a warning I had her pinned to the ground. I was afraid that I had hurt her, but she had faced away and several more tears had fallen from her eyes. Yes, this was the first time I have ever met her, the time that we were supposed to meet was a year ago but it was the day she ran away from home.

I ran away from home, the simplest reasoning was that it was no longer a home, my father was never there for me, he was always travelling or locking himself in the basement refusing to eat or sleep for days or weeks, it was this behavior that caused my mother to abandon me. As though, that wasn't enough, he had taken a step further, imprinting a secret on my body against my own will – it is a burden that I could never erase or destroy, it took away a part of my own soul replacing it with something awful and painful. I had to hide from him, to protect myself.

"You would not ever understand, get off of me"

"I do understand, please calm down and listen to me."

"He did terrible things to me, how can I ever go back there."

"You have too, at least for the last time."

"What…?"

"Master Hawkeye had fallen gravely ill; he would not last through winter. At least, come back for the last time and afterwards you can be free."

"I can never be free…" she said softly.

"Why can't you?" she did not answer me but shook her head and stood up, without taking another look at me, she left the room.

I managed to persuade her to return home with me, and she complied unwillingly and was rather quiet during the whole journey. Her reluctance was much more obvious as we get closer to our destination and she refused to answer any of my questions or in fact make eye contact. When we reached, I told her to stay in the living room while I inform the Master of her return. She nodded and gazed into the distance with such a sullen face as though relieving tortured memories from the past. I headed up the stairs, deep in my heart I wonder how this situation would play out.

As I sat in the living room, I could feel my legs shaking from fear. This was the house that I had grown up in, but it was a stranger. The air within the house was stuffy and filled with dust, it made breathing hard. I had not recovered from the lung infection therefore it was affecting me badly. I could not take it any longer and headed upstairs, though my heart was resisting, my limbs were moving by themselves. I ended up in front of my father's bedroom, and the sight that I saw was one that would never leave me for the rest of my life, my father was resting in the arms of the person who rescued me, blood was spewing from his mouth staining the bed sheets. He eyes were fixed on me as he spoke the next few words 'take care of my daughter'. Reality hit me hard in the head; I was his daughter after all. After all these silent years, he had finally acknowledged that he had a child. I had my hands over my mouth trying to keep the sharp distant breathe to myself; more tears flowed and slide off the side of the cheeks. I caught his signal and ran out to the living room, the sight was too much for me to bear- it was not only devastation, but it was also relief, does it mean that I was free?

I made sure that she was out of the room before lying the Master down on his bed and wiped off the blood from the corners of his mouth, I covered the bed sheets over his body and left the room, the death of my teacher was hard to take in all in, it must be more painful for his own child, she had went down to the living room, but more thoughts rushed to my mind, I ran downstairs only to see her lying motionless on the sofa.

"Ms Hawkeye, are you alright?"

Silence

"Ms Hawkeye, say something, wake up!"

"I am finally free…I am finally all my own."

"Huh…What…?"

Tears were falling fast, even faster than usual; it was the emotions that were bottled up all these years that created my misery. The memories that were tying me down to this house and to him were all gone, I am finally free from those sadness and loneliness; could at last move on; on my own; and freedom.

"Mr Mustang…"

"Call me Roy."

"Roy, thank you for bringing me here."

"You are welcome."

It was the first time, I saw her smile since the day I met her, those dear and sad eyes could finally be free and maybe find some happiness. I care for her so very much, was it a fleeting feeling or more?

A few years later, after the Ishval war; in the office of the colonel,

"You have decided to join the military after what you have been through?"

"Yes, sir."

It had been a while since I saw that smile on her face on Christmas day; those dear and sad eyes had become strong and determined ones, though hints of sadness still hides within that façade. She was caring burdens once again, I care for her so much and it is no fleeting emotions, as long as I am breathing I would never let anyone hurt her.

It was a long while since I saw that grin on his face on Christmas day, those kind and gentle hands that pulled me from the bottom of the well is getting stronger every day, the secrets that I had entrusted to his hands would be put to good use, for protecting people just like how he did for me, as long as I am breathing, I would never let anyone hurt him.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being an ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
with my lost saints; - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - And, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death."