I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE Hetalia OR Homestuck CHARACTERS BEYOND THIS POINT!(Gamzee, Karkat, Lovi/Romano, Spain)
However, I will protect my servent OC's and my friend's OC Sakora that are in this story, this was made for humor out of random idea's.
King Gamzee:WOULD SOME MOTHERFUCKER AROUND HERE GET ME SOME FUCKING COFFEE!?
*Gamzee is siting in his throne waiting for a servant to get him coffee*
Loyal Servant: Here King Gamzee...you coffee
*Servant hands Gamzee a cup of coffee* (Servant has speech problems:))
King Gamzee:*sips coffee contently then spits it out in disgust* WHATTHEFUCKISTHISDOGSHIT!? *Gamzee throws cup of coffee in the servants face breaking the cup and possibly the servants nose* I SAID COFFEE NOT DOG SHIT YOU FUCKING FREAK OF NATURE!IF THAT HAD ANY FORM OF SHIT IN IT I WILL HAVE YOU SLICED,MINCED,AND FED TO MY HELLHOUNDS! NOW GO GET ME ANOTHER CUP OF SOME FUCKING COFFEE YOU BITCH!
Loyal Servant: Yes King Gamzee...coffee, come here right away...
*Servant leaves room to get another cup of coffee for Gamzee to drink and leaves a bloody trail leading to the kitchen*
King Gamzee:*mutters* FUCKING MORON,WHY DID I HIRE SUCH A DUMBASS FOR A SERVANT?
Queen Karkat:Gaaaamzeeeee oooh where are you? Come out come out wherever you are~
King Gamzee: I'M NOT HIDING KARKAT! NOW GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!
Queen Karkat:MMMkay...
King Gamzee:WHEREISMYMOTHERFUCKINGCOFFEE ?
Queen Karkat: I dunno where your coffee is! Stop asking me questions that I can't answer!
*Karkat covers face with hands and starts crying*
Loyal Servant: Here you coffee King Gamzee...
*Servant brings cup of coffee to Gamzee*
King Gamzee:*sips coffee then turns head and vomits* WHATDIDITELLYOUABOUTTHEMOTHE RFUCKINGCOFFEE!?
*green drool is hanging out of Gamzee's mouth from getting sick from the coffee*
Queen Karkat:STOP YELLING AT ME!
*Karkat cries more*
Loyal Servant: I no remember King Gamzee...
King Gamzee:I SAID THAT IF IT,TASTED LIKE DOGSHIT OR ANY OTHER MOTHERFUCKING SHIT I WOULD HAVE YOU SLICED,MINCED,AND FED TO MY HELLHOUNDS!
Queen Karkat:*Karkat stops crying and freezes in fear of Gamzee killing him*
Loyal Servant:ah...buh,King Gamzee...
*Servant holds finger up to try and say something*
King Gamzee: *pulls out Spain's battle axe* DIEYOUMOTHERFUCKER!DIEANDOBEYMYLAWSOFDEATH!
*Gamzee swings the battle axe and slices the Servant in half cracking his skull* GODDAMMEDBITCH...
Queen Karkat: Hey Gamzee what you think of this outfit?
*Karkat comes in wearing a maid outfit,and sees the dead Servant* OH MY GOD! HEYAREYOUOK? WAKE-UP BUDDY!*Karkat shakes the dead Servant screaming in his face,Looks at Gamzee* why won't he wake-up Gamzee?
King Gamzee: because he's dead Karkat...
Queen Karkat: d-d-d-dead? *Karkat gazes at Gamzee horror stricken and then notices that Gamzee is holding a bloodied battle axe* How did you get Spain's battle axe Gamzee?
King Gamzee: I uh..I-I I found it behind my throne...
Queen Karkat: GAMZEE YOU MOTHERFUCKER I KNOW YOU TOO WELL AND YOU SUCK AT LIEING. TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH YOU FUCKASS!
King Gamzee: um...uh...i-uh...i-i-um...
Spain:*Spain throws the throne room's doors wide open and glares at Gamzee*GIVE ME BACK MY BATTLE AXE YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ROMANO FROM THOSE WHORES WITHOUT MY BATTLE AXE!?
*Spain storms into the throne room with a gun and sword in each hand* GIVE ME BACK MY BATTLE AXE OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!
King Gamzee: AND IF I REFUSE TO GIVE UP THIS WEAPON OF POWER?
Queen Karkat:ITS NOT MAGICAL!
Spain:THEN YOU WILL DIE!
King Gamzee:HA! I AM THE RULER OF DEATH!
Queen Karkat:NO YOU'RE NOT GAMZEE I AM,SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Spain:HOW SO?
King Gamzee:I AM THE RULER OF THE WORLD :)
Queen Karkat:LIAR!
Spain: THAT DON'T MAKE YOU THE RULER OF DEATH!
King Gamzee:YES IT DOES,NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Queen Karkat: This has to stop...
*Sakora appears in a shower of sparkles and glimmers*
Sakora: Hey guys what's up?
Queen Karkat: Now's not the best time Sakora!
*Karkat sends Sakora to La La Land in a shimmer of pink sparkles*
Sakora: but-KARKAT!
Spain:THAT'S IT!DIE!
*Spain fires the guns and runs at Gamzee to try and get Gamzee into sword-swinging range*
King Gamzee:I AM MAGICAL YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME!
*Gamzee disappears and reappears behind Spain*
Queen Karkat:STOPFIGHTINGBOTHOFYOUBITCHES !
*Karkat gets in-between Gamzee and Spain holding a double-edged spear*
Spain:DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A BITCH!
King Gamzee:I DON'T ANSWER TO YOU KARKAT!
Queen Karkat:YES YOU DO, NOW FUCKING SHUT UP OR I WILL STAB BOTH OF YOU!
Romano:Spa-*enters throne room through doors that Spain entered through and sees Spain,Karkat and Gamzee glaring at him* -innn...oh,never mind...*Romano turns and starts to leave*
Spain:Where you going Romano? *asks sweetly*
King Gamzee: Oooh so now that he's here your all sugar no spice?
Queen Karkat: WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK?
*Karkat punches Gamzee in the face*
Romano:Why do you care you fucking pervert?
Spain:Because I can~
King Gamzee: OH PLEASE! JUST STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT-
Queen Karkat: GAMZEESHUTTHEMOTHERFUCKINGUP ORSOHELPMEGODIWILLKILLYOU!
Spain:Only for you Romano~~
King Gamzee: geez Karkat no reason to get your ass in a fix...
Queen Karkat:STUFUFFADFGNKDBJV KASDTG HBUFIKJDIYUNTJRSEOIGFQ4U5W9R IA8SFHWEIUQGT
Romano:Man slut...
King Gamzee:wut...was that?(meaning what Karkat said)
Queen Karkat: YJDBNK JSKDFYBGDJNVFHDKZSF JDNHDKVBUSFDRJGBFUDIO SHAEUFRIDOSFH DELJHUODERKJ IHVGBHVFDVHNFHB DC HFVTR HUGEHBRGU
Spain:What was that?
King Gamzee: He called you a man slut!
Queen Karkat: GAMZEE...
(Karkat is at boiling rage at this time)
King Gamzee:What? You heard him!
Queen Karkat:SHUTTHEFUCKUP...
*Karkat puts the spear point on Gamzee's nose*
King Gamzee: HONK
Queen Karkat:WHATTHEFUCK?
King Gamzee: HONK
Queen Karkat:THEFUCKISWRONGWITHYOUGAMZEE?
King Gamzee: HONK
Queen Karkat:THEFU-
King Gamzee: HONK
Queen Karkat:GAM-
King Gamzee: HONK
Queen Karkat:F-
King Gamzee: HONK
Queen Karkat:*Karkat spazzes*
King Gamzee:HOOOOONNNNKK...
(THE FUCK? O_O )
Spain:Looooviiiii~~
Romano/Lovi:GETTHEFUCKAWAYYOUPERVERT!
King Gamzee:IM NOT LISTENING TO THIS SHIT ANYMORE,COME HERE KARKAT!
*Gamzee picks Karkat up and throws him over his shoulder*
Karkat:WHATTHEFUCKGAMZEE?PUT. ME. DOWN!
*Karkat struggles in Gamzee's grip* ISAIDPUTMEDOWNYOUMOTHERFUCKER!