"Disgusting." That short man with an extreme case of OCD locked his eyes on a hardly filthy, white chair that was set in the center of an impeccably white, small room. He crossed his muscular arms and simply refused to take part in the art of sitting, especially in a chair much too filthy for his dainty little bum.
In the very corner of the room sat a little boy. He faced the wall with his face to his knees and arms wrapped around his legs, as if he were sobbing. This was clearly no normal little boy. It was a boy the age of fifteen, but what the hell is he doing here in that position.
"Oh, hey disgusting little shit. I didn't notice you there. Can you please get out of this room, if you don't mind? You're setting up such a filthy atmosphere and corrupting this almost perfectly white, clean room. It's making me feel utterly uncomfortable and unclean."
The boy did not respond.
"I ASKED NICELY, YOU SHIT."
No answer. The boy wasn't even moving. Could he be dead? Wonderful. Locked in a cramped, white room with some filthy, disgusting corpse. The man didn't dare touch the body.
This man had nothing to do anyway, so why not sit? Oh yeah, the chair was filthy. However, this man actually did something about it and wiped off the "uncleanliness" with his sleeve.
"Well, fuck. Now my sleeve is filthy as shit."
First of all, as the narrator, WHAT THE FUCK, LEVI. YOU'RE SERIOUSLY PISSING ME OFF. IT'S NOT EVEN FILTHY. (Oops, said his name)
I apologize from the bottom of my heart for that. (Not really) Now let us get back to where we left off.
So Levi finally sat in the chair and stared a wicked stare down at the boy/corpse. He heard a muffled whine.
"Mmmhmhmm hmghmhmhmhg."
"Well, it looks you aren't dead. NOW, GET UP."
The boy hesitated, but slowly got up. He had his head down, looking at the floor intensely.
Levi noticed what the boy was wearing. An oversized, brown sweater (dafuq?), and black boxer shorts. Judging from his position and clothes, he basically looked like a shota. But how was that possible? THE BOY IS AT LEAST TEN CENTIMETERS TALLER THAN LEVI. Oh well. Levi, I do admit, looks pretty manly, even for being short. So this boy was just a tall shota. (How does that even work?)
Levi could not say anything to the boy, because he was ACTUALLY CLEAN. Levi had never encountered any case where he actually talked to someone CLEANER THAN HIM. This put Levi in a very awkward position. He couldn't whine about how filthy the shota (I mean boy) was. He then heard sniffles and sobbing.
Levi could not handle this. He was pissed as fuck itself. He grabbed the back of the shota's (I MEAN BOY'S) hair and lifted his head up enough for him to see (Which, BTW, he didn't have to lift his head very much because of how short Levi is *bitchslaped by Levi*)
The boy's eyes were the same shade of the ocean, if the ocean was bright green, at least. They twinkled at the man's scowling face. Residue from old tears were the only thing 'filthy' on his face. He had creamy soft skin, surprisingly softer than Levi's skin. The shota's eyes were getting more watery and Levi stared him down with his infamous death glare. Levi's eyes, which had intimidated the poor boy, closed before they could petrify the boy even more, thank God. You see, Levi had finally realized that just staring at the boy would do no use, except for making the shota cry even more, which would be annoying as hell.
Levi did not know what to do. No objects in the room except for a chair. What could he possibly do that wouldn't make the shota cry, but would trigger some kind of a reaction? Levi could think of one thing, but the thought disgusted him. Then again, he couldn't think of anything else. He gave it a try.
Levi lifted the boy's head again and gently placed his lips on the shota's lips, connecting the two together. After five seconds, Levi pulled away and the shota (BOY, DAMMIT) jolted down to the floor, covering his face with his hands. Well at least he isn't crying.
"Well, what's your name, little fuck?"
The boy mumbled in response."E-Eren…"
Levi felt a pang of relief when he found out the boy can actually talk. At least he didn't have to deal with some deaf child. That would be shit.
"So Eren, how are you feeling today?"
And then an actual conversation started from there.
A/N: WUT DID I JUST DO