A/N: Hee hee, hiya everyone! Sayjay-chan's a little giggly today; she doesn't write this sort of stuff often. No offense to any men who might be reading, but you might want to turn away now. Unless you swing that way…then, come on it, I guess! Because there's going to be a lot of Ulquiorra~ not that anyone's complaining, I'm sure. Oh, there might be some implied UlquixHime, but please don't let that stop you from reading! I want to apologize if anything seems OOC at all. It's just that…I don't really know how Ulquiorra acts when he's by himself in a bathroom…so…yeah….Speaking will be in "These quotes," while thinking 'will be all fancy like,'
This has been rewritten as of 9/29/2011
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, sadly. But I'm sure you're all going to wish I did so I could make this fanfiction into a reality!
Ulquiorra's Sexy Shower Scene
Ulquiorra's tattered cloak seemed to float behind him as he made his way down the narrow hall. The lights were dimmed low, as they always were, the moon outside glistening brightly each time he passed a window. Aizen-sama had the Espada training harder than usual today; the grueling exercises taxed every ounce of their ample strength. The command was simple; spar with another Espada or two (or three or four…) until Aizen-sama gave the word to stop. It was supposed to be a break in the boring routine, or 'fun' as the Lord would say. With enemies like Grimmjow attacking him, it soon turned into a total blood bath.
Ulquiorra himself wasn't hurt, as he had easily taken down his opponents. But he was extremely tired, and his clothes had taken a serious beating. The sparring had lasted nearly all day, and his only break had been the ten minutes it took to deliver the woman's breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Even the mightiest needed more than thirty minutes of rest after such vigorous physical exercise.
With his hands tucked away in his frayed pockets, he closed his eyes, listening to the calm beat of his heart. Nobody else was around; he figured they were off relaxing on their own. Some of those more vicious males were possibly hunting another round, though, and he didn't want the bother of it. He must have looked a sight as it was; his black locks tangled with tangy red blood and sweat clinging to his skin. With this in mind, Ulquiorra slipped into his room, making sure to lock the door. He continued to his private bathroom, locking that door as well for good measure.
He stopped in front of the sink, eyeing up his figure in the mirror. His hands rested on the white porcelain, their two colors barely shades different. He studied his sweaty face in the glass, his reflection looking cold and stiff. Red speckles shone here and there, but they were of little importance.
Ulquiorra knew he always looked so callous, and not that he cared, but he was actually looking forward to a hot shower. He would never tell, but it was his favorite way to relax. His eyes, their color a rich, perfect emerald green, flickered towards his clothes next. The white fabric Aizen-sama had so wonderfully crafted for the Arrancars looked terrible. Torn and stained with blood, they weren't even worthy of bestowing to a dog. He sighed to himself, frowning at the sight. He was supposed to honor Lord Aizen, not disrespect him by looking like second class trash!
That did it; he was tired of seeing such a pitiful mess. To the shower he would go. Beneath the shreds of white jacket his glorious abdominal muscles peeked out, daring any female to admire them in all their sweaty goodness. He reached for his collar and unzipped it, slowly, all the way down. His pale chest was now showing, each muscle firmly in place. Not a single scratch to tarnish the perfect surface.
Shrugging out of the garment that once hid his fine body, Ulquiorra tossed it to the side with a swish of his hand, turning to the sides to crack his back ever so gently. His stone cold hands began removing the sash around his waist, making quick work of the knot holding it around his hips. Again he dropped the fabric to the ground. Now for the hakama. Ulquiorra slipped it down just as quickly, past his knees, and wiggled his legs free. He stood tall and lean, nothing but cotton briefs separating him from a thousand fangirl nosebleeds. His fingers gripped the sides of the fabric and slipped out of them as well, adding the briefs to the pile of clothes on the floor. Ulquiorra was ready for his shower.
The fourth Espada turned away from the mirror, eager now to feel hot water drenching his skin. The faucet was put on as hot as it could go; that was just the way he liked it. When the shower roared to life, it rained down buckets of freezing water, causing Ulquiorra to shiver slightly. Soon, though not soon enough, the cold changed to steam. It rose up in wisps, tickling his face, if he could feel such things.
Without a moment's hesitation he stepped in the shower, the cascading water splashing all over him. The water at his feet was instantly colored red and black from all the blood, sweat, and grime he had collected during the day.
'Disgusting!'
Ulquiorra thought with a snort. He took pride in his appearance, because it would in turn reflect upon Aizen-sama, and he would never try to ruin the man's image. Wanting to rid himself of the filth, he edged under the water, pouring shampoo into his hand. The fluffy white soap slid down his pale body as it dripped from his soaking wet hair. He could feel everything melt away; not just the dirt, but the stress that caused his many muscles to tense up throughout the days (or nights, as they were). The soap clumped on his toned chest in thick tuffs, though the water was quick to wash it away.
Reaching for a yellow bar of soap and a wash cloth, he rubbed the two together, until there was foam everywhere. He preferred a wash cloth for this part, to really work it into the nooks and crannies of his muscles. What better way to clean them out, right? He began thoroughly rubbing his dirty body, starting with his collarbone and neck. Blood had pooled there, but luckily it came off easily.
The wash cloth moved down to start cleaning his chest. It took some time, as there was a lot muscle to wash. Up and down, side to side, over and across. Slowly he started focusing on cleaning his abdominal muscles. Every little groove was filled with blood or sweat, and he took his time washing it all away, making himself presentable. It would be a disgrace to look anything less than his best, even if his even duties only consisted of visiting the Woman.
His hand moved further south to wash his thighs, making sure to wash between them as well. When his entire lower being was washed clean, he did a quick rub over his feet, just to cover all the bases. Too soon for his liking, Ulquiorra was squeaky clean and ready to get out of the shower. He shut the water off and stepped onto the white tile, droplets of water sliding down his bare skin and pattering to the floor.
The Espada reached for a towel, fluffy and soft, and wrapped it around his middle. It was a shame to cover up his glorified thickness, but it couldn't be helped. He unlocked the door and walked into his bedroom, steam erupting behind him. He took a few steps before dropping the towel to his ankles, standing tall, sexy, wet, and totally naked. Again.
Readers, Ulquiorra and the fine author of this fanfiction have one more thing for you to do, before you leave this page. Go back and reread this fanfiction, but imagine every drop of water sliding down his sexy, fit body in slow motion. Imagine your nose is bleeding so badly, he offers a hand and pulls you in to join him. Oh yeah.
A/N: There you go, fangirls. You can squeal and faint now! I'm not sure how well I did, so give me some feedback with a review, okay? I'd like to get better!