She sat in the car seat. Blank.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw countless buildings pass by. None looked particularly interesting, nothing caught her eye. Then again, nothing would until she saw him again.
Even when the driver attempted to make useless conversation, she'd kept her silence. Not since he'd stopped her from rejoining Carter, not since he'd threatened to restrain her.
Not since he didn't care.
It was like the world wasn't real anymore, like something was missing, but was there so regularly she barely even recognised it. Now there was longing, heartache, agony.
Allie looked down at herself. It was still early morning. She realised that only a few hours had passed since Dom, Nicole, Zoe and the rest had arrived at The Drop Inn B&B, yet so much had happened since then it felt like days, months, years.
Allie knew that she had makeup all over her face, her hair was bedraggled and frizzy, there was mud and blood all over her clothing from the events of the night before. She could see everything from then in perfect detail; her grandmother dying in front of her, Nathaniel's look of loss, the last wish. Run.
"Go! Get her out of here."
She could see the look of determination on his face, his jaw set in such a way that Allie knew it was equally difficult for him to let her go at that moment. She could see every scruffy patch on him. The unshaven chin, the mud on his temple that he hadn't quite been able to wash off, the bruise around his left eye he had sustained the day before. Allie knew that she may not see him again.
God, she wished she had someone with her. Anyone. She longed for Lucinda to look her firmly in the eye and reassure her everything would be okay. She wished that her mother was there so that she could hug Allie in the way that got rid of any pain. She wanted her brother next to her, to tease her so that her mind was anywhere but there.
She looked at her wrist where her grandmother had clutched her before she died. The faint bracelet of blood stubbornly clung to her skin, tinging it in a way that turned her skin a light pink against the veins.
She absent-mindedly fiddled with her hair. The red had faded; all it was now was a slight auburn, if that. She thought of everyone who was dead because of her. Ruth, not even knowing what was happening before she had her throat cut. Jo, lying there in the snow, killed by the one she trusted the most, and left to rot. Lucinda, shot by the man she played games with, a son figure, and secretly loved him as if he were her own child.
All of them were dead because she turned up that day at Cimmeria Academy, and because of her legacy's wretched past.
She jolted back to real life as the driver cleared his throat suddenly. She peered out of the window. She spotted the peaks of the school building in the distance. The looming, gothic manor she once thought was creepy, but now found strangely beautiful.
As they pulled up to the school, she saw Isabelle flow out in her blue dress. Even from the car Allie could see the strain on her headmistress' face. She looked as if she had aged ten years in a day.
The driver unlocked Allie's door. She flung it open, and ran as fast as she could towards Isabelle, panic rising up inside her.
"Isabelle!" Allie shouted. "Tell me he's okay! Tell me he's still alive!" she sobbed, tears streaming down her face. Isabelle immediately registered Allie's hysteria, and her maternal instincts kicked in, consoling her.
She gripped both of Allie's arms firmly and looked her straight in the eye. With a jolt, Allie realised that this was what Lucinda would have done to her.
"Welcome back." Isabelle said. "You need rest. Your normal room has been prepared, and we've asked Lisa to come up to you as soon as you're ready." she said comfortingly. But Allie knew that Isabelle had specifically avoided her question.
"Where is he?" she said shakily.
Isabelle looked down for a moment, exhaling, before meeting Allie's eyes.
"He's alive." she replied. Allie immediately breathed a deep sigh of relief, and she could feel tears of relief pricking at her eyes.
"But…" Isabelle continued, "He doesn't remember anything or anyone, Allie."
She paused.
"Not even you."