A young girl types on her laptop. Today just so happens to not really be a day of much importance. What will the name of this young girl be?
DELETED
Try again, fuckass!
Olivia
Better.
Olivia: So, now I'm here in my house alone. Right now, it's your typical few bedroom home. In a bit, due to AUTHOR MAGYKS, it'll be a mansion, stocked with food and with Homestuck characters!
And so the aforementioned AUTHOR MAGYKS occur. And down in Whoville they say, the witch's small house grew twenty sizes that day.
Olivia: Eh. I can live with being called a witch. Witches are cool! Like there's Medusa from Soul Eater, Eruka from Soul Eater, Witch Angela from Soul Eater… Well, a lot of cool witches are from Soul Eater. But that's not the point!
Then what is, if not for the fans to read your extremely long, 50 page in font size 11 with no space in between lines, rant about Soul Eater?
Olivia: We know very well what it is. We are one and the same, after all.
Indeed. So which of us should tell? I mean, you are just the story personification of the author.
Olivia: And you are just bolded text that is supposed to stimulate your voice in real life so you can narrate.
How's about I bring in the characters and take roll call, and you introduce yourself and set up the rules?
Olivia: That'll work. Which of us will tell everyone about the surprise twist of this story?
Hm… I could. You do have the special ponds out there, yes?
Olivia: But of course. Well then, let's begin!
A portal opens and one by one, characters are pushed out, ending up heaped on the floor.
"Oh my fucking god Karkat your elbow is in my eye."
"GOOD. THAT'S FOR THE FUCKING PENIS 'OUJA', YOU SICK FREAK."
"Rose, are you alright?"
"Yes Kanaya, I'll be fine."
"Oh my gosh, sorry for landing on you!"
"It's fine, Jade! None of us could S-EA this coming!"
The cast grumbles, eventually untangling themselves and standing up.
Aradia: Oh! Look how pretty this place is! 0u0
Sollux: So have we finally been recognized as fucking awful and sent to the inevitable human Hell?
Rose: I don't believe this is how Heaven and Hell work. Especially since most of us here are God Tier.
Jade: Speaking of God Tier, where's John?
Dave: Man, who even knows anymore. John is always fucking missing. Almost as if he never existed.
Rose: Oh my. Is the young Strider insinuating something? How positively delightful. Don't think too hard. We don't want your fragile mind overheating and causing you to think of nothing but smuppets.
Dave: That was only once and you promised never to speak of it. *He hisses to her quietly*
Jade: ?
Karkat: NOT THAT THIS BORING ASS SIBLING BICKERING ISN'T ENDEARING, BECAUSE IT'S SO DAMN ADORABLE, REALLY, MAKES ME FEEL FUCKING SICK, BUT MAYBE YOU DOUCHECANOES SHOULD FOCUS ON MORE IMPORTANT THINGS. LIKE HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET HERE? WHO'S THE FUCKING NERD WITH THE MEOWBEAST EARS ON HER HEAD? AND WHY IS THAT BITCH JUST STARING AT US?
Olivia: Thank you Karkat fuckin' Vantas.
Roll call!
Feferi: *She looks up in confusion* Why is that voice in bold? It sounds –EXACTLY the same as that gill's voice!
Olivia: Shhh. Only story now.
Aradia Megido!
Aradia: Here! 0u0
Sollux Captor!
Sollux: Here, unfortunately. This is so fucking stupid.
*Ignores Sollux's grumbling*
Tavros Nitram!
Tavros: Ah! Here, since, you, uh, wanted me to be, hehe. }:)
Nepeta Leijon!
Nepeta: :33 Purresent! *AC says happily, excited to be in what will undoubtedly be a fun game*
Kanaya Maryam!
Kanaya: Present.
Terezi Pyrope!
Terezi: Your words smell like black licorice! Hehehehe!
…
Vriska Serket!
Vriska: Here, unfortunately. I apparently have to be here with all these loooooooosers…...
Equius Zahak!
Equius: Present, Miss Omnipotent Voice.
Just call me "Narrator", hon!
Equius: It seems hardly suitable for one of your blood caste. Only a handful of sea dwellers can open portals, especially those of that magnitude.
Olivia: Should I tell him?
No. I like this.
Gamzee Makara!
Gamzee: *He honks his horn, scaring the living daylights out of several others in the room, giving a lazy smile*
I will take that as a "present"!
Eridan Ampora!
Eridan: As if I havve a choice in playing this.
That's the spirit!
Feferi Piexes!
Feferi: Here!
And the last of the trolls, but not the least
The descendant of Troll Jegus, the all Merciful
His Supreme Holiness, Karkat Vantas.
Karkat: HERE. AND NO NEED TO MAKE ANY OF THAT SARCASTIC. THAT RIGHT THERE IS THE RESPECT I WOULD LIKE TO FUCKING HEAR.
Sure thing, Kitkat.
Kitkat: I AM NOT HUMAN CANDY!
*Ignores Kitkat*
Onto the humans! John Egbert!
There is no sound. No breeze. Nothing. Just a few crickets.
Olivia: If we're inside, how'd these crickets get in here?
Moving on…
Rose Lalonde!
Rose: Present.
Jade Harley!
Jade: Right here!
Da-
Just then, John floated in, sipping a thing of Starbucks.
John: Hey guys! I was wondering where everyone disappeared to. What'd I miss?
Olivia: Nothing John.
I think that's everyone!
Dave: You're forgetting someone.
Olivia: Are we?
Dave: Yeah. Just the single coolest person in this room right now.
Olivia: I'm already here.
Dave: Someone cooler.
Olivia: Oh wait… We forgot Dave!
Oh! Well, Dan's here, so let's get rules and stuff done! I cede the floor to you, myself.
Olivia: Myself would like to thank you, me.
Dan: My name is Dave. *Adjusts shades*
Olivia: Sure thing Derek. Well, I'm sure you know why you're here. We're going to play a little game called Truth or Dare!
Karkat: OH FUCK.
Olivia: And I only have one rule! No sexual themes. None. I am uncomfortable with that. So don't.
We will be waiting eagerly for your reviews.
Olivia: But wait! There's more! Follow me outside, cast.
And so the 16 cast members followed Olivia outside. Out there were five fairly large ponds forming a semi-circle, all with shallow water.
Olivia: You see, this truth or dare will differ slightly because there is a third option! Each of these ponds represents five main groups: AU, TV Shows, Anime/Manga, Books and Movies. What you can do is pull out a character from any AU imaginable! Whether it's John as the Winter Soldier, Terezi and Karkat as a meister/weapon team, or even a human version of a troll, you will be able to ask them! They will interact with the cast for one chapter as well. Please limit one AU question per chapter.
So now that this is out of the way, we eagerly await for you to send truths, dares, or to have us pull out an insert!
Authoress signing off.
Have fun, and welcome, to our
Truth or Dare or Insert!