Harry Potter and the Dispirited Soul

by gygbrown

Twenty-one years after the fall of Tom Riddle, Harry Potter finds himself back at Hogwarts as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. However, his nervousness over his teaching abilities is not the only thing bothering his conscious as a nearly sleepless, nightmare riddled Harry finds himself entering into the dark realms of his soul that are beyond that of his class.

1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter

and the Dispirited Soul

by

Gaetano Brown

Copyright © 2015 Gaetano Brown

DEDICATION

This story is dedicated to J.K. Rowling and the millions of fans who have supported this franchise, both the books and the movies

Prologue

For those who dream, want to remain in that dream. The dream where all evil is banished and the good triumphant. What if you were to live that dream? Would you honestly believe at that point that it would last forever? Even if someone of whom you trusted promised you that it did, would you still believe it?

Chapter I:

Twenty-One Years Later

"It will all be okay," he said to himself. And he had been saying it to himself for what seemed like an eternity. His mind as conflicted as ever.

At two in the morning, he sat next to his rain drenched window in his home in Godric's Hollow. The rain came down at unrelenting speeds, hitting the window with great force, almost sounding as if it would break it.

He stared out the window and stared hard through the rain to look down the street. Down the street sat his parents old home…his old home. Long destroyed and beyond repair due to the dark magic issued out by his once powerful nemesis, Tom Riddle. Dark magic, which killed his parents.

Though, this is not why he wasn't able to sleep. In his mind, he felt ashamed. He thought that he, of all people, should have been long passed the point of sleepless night. No longer in the shadow of Riddle, he should have been spending the rest of his life in bliss.

He didn't know how to explain himself and his feelings to anyone else over the past few months. Everyone was leading their lives in happiness. He was the only one who felt that he could not express his own depression, as his problems tended to resonate through everyone in his world; a world that was content in its current state.

He sat in the dark, not daring to turn on any lights, in fear that he would wake his resting family. His only form of light came from the street lamps, which vaguely shone through the window. He rested in a large red arm chair, which despite being physically comfortable, did not seem to comfort his feelings.

"Can't sleep again," a voice appeared behind him, startling him in the silence. His wife Ginny stood behind. A great look of concern was noticeable, despite the darkness.

"No," Harry said in a whisper. "No big deal, everyone has trouble sleeping every now and then."

Ginny got closer to him and sat on the window sill next him. "That's true, but is for four months normal?" Ginny asked, catching Harry off guard with her knowledge of his struggles.

He had tried to hide it from her since the beginning. Leaving bed as quietly as he could and returning to bed just before she woke up. He now felt foolish for never attempting to confide in her but felt at the time that it was best not to.

"What's that matter? You haven't been like this in a long time?" She asked.

"I don't know," he replied dishonestly.

"I see," Ginny said with a bit of displeasure in her voice. "When are you ever going to feel like telling me the truth?"

Harry looked at her, her looked screamed for an answer. He should have known better after all of these years.

"There's just been a lot on my mind," he said simply.

"Like what?" Ginny asked, not accepting his answer.

"Wondering if it's going to be a safe year at Hogwarts," Harry said, while true to a degree, it wasn't everything. He didn't feel like elaborating too much to her, in fear of how she would react.

"That's really what you're worried about?" Ginny asked incredulously. She then kneeled beside Harry. "Harry, you've never worried about this before, why worry about it now?"

Harry gave the smile to her. "I guess it is rather childish, isn't it?"

"I guess you're allowed to have your occasional fatherly worries every now and then," Ginny replied with a smile. "Especially with Lily starting this year. But you can't be this worried Harry, especially with her already being nervous over her first year." She then grabbed his hand.

Her warming touch always settled Harry's nerves, no matter his mood.

"Come to bed hon," she said, not giving him the choice and pulling him up by the hand and bringing him upstairs to their room.

While able to fall asleep relatively easy due to the comfort felt from Ginny, getting more than a few hours of sleep was impossible with three kids running about the house. All three woke up at seven in the morning on a Saturday, much to both Harry and Ginny's dismay.

Harry, now working as an Auror for the Ministry of Magic, was already struggling during the weeks, let alone the weekends. He got up groggily out of bed, at the age of thirty-eight, the lack of sleep was making him feel like his old Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore's age when he went to Hogwarts.

He walked downstairs to the kitchen when he finally was able to muster up the energy to stand. Harry and Ginny had moved Godric's Hollows shortly before the birth of the first son, James Sirius Potter, almost a month after Harry began working as an Auror. He and his lifelong friend, now brother in-law Ron Weasley built the house from scratch, designed to look like the house his parents had lived in before their deaths.

Their friend, now Ron's wife Hermione, objected to the idea, feeling that it would bring nothing but bad memories for Harry and cause him distress. Harry objected to this, and knew that while the house and his parents deaths were in vein, the also represented the first and only good year for a long while on earth. The house was his parents first home and the home they had intended to raise him in. With this being the main motivation, what was truly wrong with making it his home as well.

"Good Morning Dad." Three loud voice rang in his ear when he opened the door to the kitchen. Two of his children, thirteen year old Albus Severus Potter and eleven year-old Lily Luna Potter came in to hug him. His third and oldest child, 15 year-old James, sat at the table and gave a smile to his father. James had reached the age where hugging his father was not exactly the cool thing to do.

"Good morning," Harry said enthusiastically. This greeting always brought a smile to Harry's face.

Ginny walked up to Harry, wishing him a good morning as well. She gave him a big hug and kiss, warming him up in the cool morning air. "Do you want breakfast dear?" She asked with a smile.

"Yes, please," Harry responded back with a smile. Harry was getting ready to sit at the table when a knock came at the front door.

Harry nor Ginny were used to visitors coming over to the house, especially so early in the morning. This led both of them to stare at each other in confusion.

"I'll get it," Harry said after a few seconds of silence. He walked to the door slowly and pulled peered through the peephole on the door. His heart jumped as he quickly unlocked and opened the door.

Standing of the other side of the door was their longtime friend, now Herbology teacher at Hogwarts, Neville Longbottom. Neville stood with a smile on his face. "Hey Harry!"

"Neville," Harry said excitedly. "To what do we owe the pleasure, come in."

Harry's excitement was such due to the rare moments they got see their old friend. Since he had been teaching at Hogwarts, he rarely left the castle, spending most of his time there.

Neville's appearance had changed a bit since their school days. He was thinner, losing a lot of his chubbiness, but had lost most of his hair. So much so, that he wound up cropping his hair completely bald. To compensate for the lack of hair on his head, he grew a large beard.

"Are you hungry, would you like something to eat?" Harry asked generously.

"Unfortunately, can't stay long," Neville replied but doing so happily. "Just have something to go over with you."

"Okay," Harry replied curiously. "Come into the kitchen, we'll talk there."

With that they walked into the kitchen, where James and Albus jumped up with excitement to see their Herbology teacher. Lily, while meeting Neville before, still did not know him well enough to warrant any such enthusiasm.

Ginny hugged Neville upon arrival. "Long time, no see," she said with a smile.

"It has been a long time," Neville said to both her and Harry. "I think the last time I saw you two, Albus was just starting at Hogwarts."

Harry nodded in agreement with this. He then gestured to Neville at one of the seats, letting him know that he may sit, which he obliged.

Harry sat down as well. "So, what brings you to this neck of the woods Neville?"

"Well, unfortunately business," he replied. He kept a smile on his face though. "As you know, the headmaster, Professor Lungdren, is looking for a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher after Professor Sheppard's retirement, and…"

"No," Harry said immediately, losing his smile.

"What?" Neville asked, perplexed. "What do you mean?"

"Neville, no offense, but there is no way I'm going anywhere near that damn class," Harry said with a harsh tone.

"Harry!" Ginny shouted in dismay.

"I'm sorry," Harry said quickly, realizing he said that in front of the children.

"Harry, you don't understand," Neville said."

"And I don't want to," Harry said sternly.

Neville stared at the children, who looked utterly stunned at their father's attitude. "Maybe we should continue this out in the living room?" He said kindly.

Harry, while reluctant to continue, agreed and began walking out of the kitchen. They both took a seat at the couch.

"I wouldn't have come all this way Harry if we really didn't need the help," Neville said.

Harry shook his head, not out of disagreement but out of grief. "Neville, after everything that happened, there is no way you should let me teach that class. Besides, I wouldn't be that great of a teacher."

"Oh come on," Neville laughed. "Harry, you did a fantastic job teaching all of us in Dumbledore's Army."

"Yeah, but that's when we were kids as well," Harry said respectfully. "That was during a different time. The second I enter that class, those kids are going to want me to teach them everything about what it was like back then, and you know parents aren't going to like that."

"But that's the reason why Lungdren wants you," Neville said. "He feels that Defense Against the Dark Arts is not nearly as effective of a course as it once was and wants to change that and he feels that you're the perfect fit."

Thinking about this, Harry smiled awkwardly. "Dumbledore put him up to this, didn't he?"

While not answering, Neville gave a smile that screamed his affirmation. "And Snape played a role as well."

"Unbelievable," Harry said in shock. While Dumbledore's and Severus Snape's bodies might have been dead, they now lived almost spiritually in the portraits that sat in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts. Clearly, they corresponded on Harry's behalf without his knowing. Harry stood up and began pacing, he felt conflicted.

"Harry, we all feel that you are the best choice for the job," Neville said with an obvious sincere tone. "You're the only one who can teach the class that the headmaster want's taught."

Harry just stood near the window, appearing to look out but wasn't really doing so. What he was really doing was contemplating everything that he was being told. While all of it made sense and he should have been honored to take the job immediately, he still wondered.

"I don't know," he said in a whisper. "I still worry about the consequences that the school will face with me as teacher."

"There won't be, and Lungdren will make sure of that," Neville said. "You were one of the Auror's that helped get him appointed, you know what he can do."

Harry couldn't deny this. Lungdren was one of the most well respected wizards to come along since Dumbledore and Harry was one of the frontrunners in the fight to get him his current job. There had been many who doubted Lungdren's ability to handle a school the size of Hogwarts but Harry knew better.

As conflicting as it might have been, Harry understood the dilemma that Neville was in. He had been personally sent to try and convince Harry and knew that it wouldn't bold well for him if he came back empty handed. He also couldn't imagine what would become of the Defense Against the Dark Arts class with no teacher so close to the school year.

"Okay," he said finally. "I'll do it, but under one condition."

"Name it," Neville said, standing up in excitement.

"I have complete control over the class and I can teach what I feel is appropriate," Harry said sternly.

"You got it," Neville said quickly. "In fact, Dumbledore, Snape, and Lungdren knew you would say this and agreed to this before I was even sent out."

Harry smiled at this. He then held out his hand to Neville. "It will be a pleasure to teach at Hogwarts this year."

Neville shook Harry's hand. "We're glad to have you." Neville looked like a little boy who had just been introduced to his first candy store. He beamed with joy.

"I guess I should inform the Minister of my duties this year, they'll be expecting me back at work next week," Harry said.

"Oh don't worry," Neville said quickly as he walked to the door. "That's already been taken care of."

"Did Lungdren inform them already?" Harry asked curiously, looking a little stunned.

"No…" Neville said as he opened the door to leave. "…Ginny did." He gave a smile and then quickly closed the door as Harry gave a shocked expression.

He walked back into the Kitchen, where all of children still sat in silence as they ate breakfast. Ginny was now sitting with them.

"Ginny…"He said with a smirk on his face.

Ginny smirked as well. "I figured if I told you too soon, you wouldn't have taken the job. I figured you would need more persuasion."

"I actually wish you would have told me," Harry said but with a smile.

"You better get ready though, the year starts in a week," she said with a laugh.

Chapter II

Returning Home

Preparing for Hogwarts could not have been more nerve racking for Harry. News of his return to Hogwarts, which flooded the Daily Prophet. Over time, Harry had steadily forgotten about the fame he unfortunately endured as a child. Now, he felt that annoyance of it again. This brought a great feeling of worry that overwhelmed him.

He knew that though might have only been reading about this in the Daily Prophet now, that very first day at Platform 9 3/4's would be far different. He was now feeling uncomfortable with his decision. He hoped that his feelings would soon change.

Harry's only saving grace was that, besides the Ministry, nobody knew where he lived and weren't given the chance to find him. He knew this reaction would fade away in time but no matter when that was, it still wouldn't be soon enough in his mind.

The final week leading up to his day back at Hogwarts didn't go by slow enough. In fact, it felt as if it flew by like he used to on broom in Quidditch. Nonetheless, he packed his trunk and prepared for long year at the school he loved.

Ginny had helped him pack as his nerves made his packing speed rather slow. "You feeling okay?" She asked.

"Yeah," Harry lied. "I'll feel better once the year starts and I get into the groove of things."

"If you ever need me up there to keep you company, let me know," she said. "I'll find ways to calm your nerves." She then leaned over and kiss gently on the lips. "You'll be fine," she said.

While not totally abolishing his nervousness, it at least helped some. He figured if she had enough confidence in his abilities to teach, than he should have confidence as well.

"Are you sure you're okay for me being gone?" He asked. "You'll be all alone."

"Are you kidding?" Ginny asked amusingly. "I'll enjoy this rare time of pure silence in the home and I'll invite Hermione over to keep me company every now and then. Besides, I get to see you for the holidays anyway."

"I wish it were the holiday's now," Harry said honestly.

"Don't worry, they'll be here soon enough," Ginny said. "And who knows, you might actually like your job and not wish so quickly for the holidays." With that said, she looked at the clock. "We should probably get going if we plan to make it to the station on time."

She walked out of the room, shouting for the kids that it was time to leave. Harry on the other hand sat on the bed for a couple more minutes while the kids ran downstairs. He tried to let as much of this sink in before actually leaving.

Soon enough, he found himself in the car and on their way to the Kings Cross Station. Harry sat in the passenger seat as Ginny drove them all. He stared out the window at the cars and people that passed by.

He couldn't believe it, the last few times he had driven to Kings Cross Station, he was only dropping his kids off to go to Hogwarts. He never though in his wildest dreams that he would getting back onto the Hogwarts Express himself.

Harry had considered travelling by Floo Network in order to make things easier but deep down, he wanted to take the Hogwarts Express. He felt a great deal of nostalgia with going that route and it brought one of very smiles he had over the last week leading up to this day.

He was almost in a trance the entire way there. He couldn't hear his children shouting in the background, nor Ginny yelling at them when they were too loud. They were all distant and mute. It even took him a while to register that Ginny was calling his name when they arrived. When he finally turned his head, he saw a big grin on her face.

"We're here love, let's go," she said.

Harry had wished he could return the smile but his nerves were keeping him from doing so. His stomach felt like it was doing cartwheels in his insides, twist it into a knot.

They walked across Kings Cross Station as always, leading them to platform 9 ¾. Every time they walked through the station, it was always full of people. Both Harry and Ginny got great feeling of Déjà vu each time they came into the station, remembering the many times they themselves had been there to go to Hogwarts.

When they reached the entrance to the platform, which was the large brick pillar, which sat between platforms nine and ten, Harry found himself coming to a complete stop. He stared at the platform as though it were an obstacle that he had to overcome. In a small sense, it was indeed an obstacle to him.

James and Albus had already gone through the platform. Undoubtedly, they were now on the other side waiting for their father to do the same. After a minute of standing there, he felt a small hand enclose around his. He looked down to see his youngest and first year Hogwarts student Lily standing beside him.

"Together," she said sweetly.

Harry looked back at Ginny, who actually had a teary-eyed smile on her face. He smiled as well.

"Okay," Harry said, smiling down at his daughter. He found himself running at the pillar with Lily. Instead of hitting it, they went through the pillar. Greeting them on the other side was not only his two sons but the always familiar Hogwarts Express steam engine train. Hundreds of young wizards, witches, and their families flooded the platform.

Ginny came in behind them, still smiling brightly. Harry on the other hand, found his feet planted firmly to the ground again and could not move. His trunk was then taken from his hand from Ginny who grabbed him by the other hand and he was walked to the train by both his wife and daughter.

"You look more nervous than me Daddy," Lily said with a laugh.

"Actually sweetie, I think I am," Harry said but with a laugh as well. "Did you want to sit in the same seat as me?"

"No, thank you," she responded. "I'm going to sit wherever James and Albus sit. They're going to show a bunch of the candies that are served on the train."

As sweet as this sounded, Harry would have loved the comfort of his daughter sitting next to him on the long ride to Hogwarts but didn't want to force her. After all, he remembered how fascinated he was by that candy as well on his first ride on the Hogwarts Express with Ron.

As this thought hit his mind, as they walked closer to the train, in the distance, Ron and Hermione stood in front of the train waving to them.

While Hermione's appearance, much like Ginny's, had not changed since school, Ron's changed a bit. When they were kids, Ron loved to eat anything in sight that tasted good to him. Unfortunately, he still loved to do so. While he had not changed much in the face, his stomach went so far over his belt, that you couldn't tell he even wore one.

Their two children, Hugo and Rose, were not with them, which indicated that they were already on the train. Hugo would also be going into his first year with Lily. Rose would be going into her third year at Hogwarts and had inherited Hermione's intelligence and was top of the class.

"Hey look Hermione, it's the new professor at Hogwarts," he said amusingly when they finally reached them.

Hermione looked at Ron with annoyance but still smiled. "Are you five Ron?"

"Would love to be," he responded, laughing.

She merely shook her head at this, obviously use to Ron's jokes. "In all seriousness Harry, how are you feeling?"

"Fine," Harry said quickly. He could feel Ginny's eyes rolling at this.

"It's okay to admit that you're nervous," Hermione said.

Hermione was another one that could read Harry very easily. After over twenty years, he felt a bit stupid assuming anything else.

"Well, I am a little nervous on what I'm going to teach.," Harry responded. "I mean, I've practiced with the books but I've never worked with children in different years before."

"It will be a breeze," Ron said encouragingly.

"I hope so," Harry replied in a more grim tone. It was at this moment that Harry had the suspicious feeling that he was being watched. He looked around and realized that his feelings were correct. Not only were the kids on the train staring but many on the platform were taking time to look at him as well.

Harry felt a great deal of foreboding from everyone in the area. Some of them looked excited to see him. Others were looking doubtful and almost concerning at Harry. He couldn't decipher whether his instincts were correct on this or is was just his nervousness getting to him again.

Ginny gave the kids huge hugs and wished them a great year. Harry hugged them as well. While knowing that he would see them all year long, he still felt like he was leaving them in some small sense. He couldn't quite understand why he was feeling this way.

After the kids were on the train, Ginny wrapped her arms around Harry's neck and his around her waist. They embraced tightly with Ginny kissing him gently.

"Well, it's time," she said happily. "Good luck, Professor Potter."

Harry her say this did bring a smile to Harry's face. He had never imagined, in his wildest dreams, he would be hearing "Professor" in front of his name.

"I'll miss you," he said.

"And I'll miss you," she replied. "Just remember, if you need anything from me, I'll be there in two seconds."

"Thank you," he said gratefully. "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, giving him one last great hug. "You better get going before the train departs."

Harry got onto the train and stood on the step as the door behind him closed. He looked out of the window of the door. Ginny, Ron and Hermione waved to him, in which he reciprocated. Harry could hear the noise all of the children were making in the train, saying goodbye to their families.

Hogwarts Express gave a small jolt and then began to slowly depart from the station. He tried to stare as far out the window as he could as the station became more distance. Soon, it became lost behind the steam of the train.

With the station no longer in sight, he climb the stairs and away from the door and searched for a compartment to sit in. He knew he wouldn't be lucky enough to find one that was completely empty but searched for one that was close enough to it.

He passed by two cars and a load of compartments trying to find one. All the while, many faces peered through the window, trying to get a good look at him. He could see many mouths moving but the closed doors prevented him from hearing any of their words. Harry could not help but feel a sense of déjà vu.

Finally, in the third car he entered, the third compartment only had one person within it. This person was asleep with his coat covering his head. To avoid disturbing him, he closed the door after entering to drown out as much noise as he could.

He looked at the trunk, which sat in stowage above his head. However, this unfortunately did not contain a name. He sat in the seat opposite of him and looked out the window to stare at the greenery of the countryside, which passed by at great speed.

Occasionally, students would pass by and would stop momentarily when they set their eyes on Harry. The number of students steadily increased, giving Harry the hint that word was spreading on what compartment he was in.

Because of the quietness and the overall desire to ignore those staring at him, Harry closed his eyes to attempt to nap all the way to Hogwarts. Whether it was from his lack of sleep over the past few months, or the somber volume of the compartment, he fell asleep instantly.

Chapter III:

A Dementing Nightmare