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Pixiv ID: 5603120
Member: 衿子

Like the title says, this is a combination of a sequel and an alternative ending to Tipping Point. This is Densu (or rather, SuDen,) and if you don't like that then this isn't for you! (I wrote this at a friend's request who didn't like that I ended the other fic with SuFin. So picky, right? ;) ) Before you review claiming that this is just stretching the reality from the other story as an excuse to write porn - you're absolutely right. That was the point.

However, please message me about any historical inaccuracies! I tried to do my research and be as accurate as possible, (and I do use euphemisms,) but if something's off then I want to learn and fix it - I promise I won't think you're just being anal about things!

The main difference between this and Tipping Point is while the other is a historical, human AU, in this one they are nations (and only in this it is implied that they had been nations the whole time) and it is set in modern times.

Warnings: explicit smut and a line in which Berwald speaks a lot. Enjoy!

Anyone who says they are invincible against loneliness is a fucking liar. It sure seems like something that's only fatal to the weak until you've experienced it. Until you've spent 500 years being left alone over and over again. Until you're so tired of the silence that you strain your voice calling for someone to stand next to, only to realize that the reason nobody is answering is because you've destroyed them. It's your fault, and now you're completely alone. Circumstances like these don't only effect the weak - they can push even the strongest men into insanity. And it had to be insanity that was causing Mathias to walk all the way to the house of the man that had defeated and humiliated him so many years ago. It had to be.

It had been nearly 500 years since he had last seen Berwald and Tino. He had almost successfully blocked that day from his memory, although it still presented itself at the most inconvenient moments. He could remember Berwald's hate. How the man had left him destroyed and barely conscious. And how - he finally admitted to himself - he despised himself for it.

Lukas stayed for almost 300 years after the others had left, but Mathias, being so scared that Lukas would leave too, became overbearingly possessive of the boy, which in turn only encouraged him to find his own independence. He turned elsewhere after that - he tried to take in a servant from Greenland, and even tried letting his German neighbor stay at his house for a while before things took a turn for the worse. But he always ended up the same way he started: alone. Hated and alone.

Mathias was not sure if traveling to Sweden was his "last resort" - he had probably passed that point long ago and was now graveling for hope where it didn't exist. But what else could he do?

In the midst of his reflection he found himself at his destination. Desperation was the only thing that moved his fist up to tap cautiously on Berwald's door. That and, he guessed, a lack of common sense. He stared at the door for what felt like eternity as the sound of his knocking echoed in his head. Just when he was beginning to think that no one was home and that he should get out of there quickly so that no one saw him standing there like an idiot, he heard the latch click open. And what he saw almost made him fall to his knees in ridiculous relief - what he saw was Berwald.

After looking into Berwald's bright blue eyes Mathias was at a loss for words. However he noticed that the other was staring at him silently and waiting for an explanation, so he figured he should come up with one quickly.

"Uh... Berwald..." his voice cracked and he broke eye contact. "I uh... Just came to see you..." Mathias saw Berwald move and he instinctively flinched. Once he looked up, however, he noticed Berwald had just stepped back from the door frame to allow room for Mathias to enter. Mathias felt slight embarrassment and hesitantly stepped through the door. How sickly ironic, he thought, that Berwald was the one opening the door this time for him as his nerves flared. The scale had been tipped alright.

Mathias followed the Swede further into his house until they reached the living room. Berwald motioned to a couch by the fire place, inviting Mathias to take a seat, and instructing "wait here." ('A fire. Of course' thought Mathias, assuming he could see right through Berwald and his passive aggressive threats. He started to wonder more and more each second if this was all just a terrible, dangerous mistake.)

Mathias didn't dare do anything but what he was told, so he settled down on the couch and watched the other walk off. Berwald only went to his kitchen - the next room over - and Mathias could see him working from where he sat. He watched the muscles in his back move as his tanned arms reached and worked. He had never seen Berwald like this - so capable and sturdy and... healthy. Memories of the old Berwald came to his mind to serve as a comparison but he quickly banished them as he remembered he had been the one to render the Swede so weak, and finally decided to just stare into the fireplace instead. He hated fire, he really did, but he felt he hadn't earned the privilege to look away.

When he heard footsteps heading back his way his heart froze. He realized he hadn't been paying attention to exactly what is was that Berwald was doing in the kitchen and was suddenly nervous about what he was up to. That was, until he heard the light clank of a teacup being placed in front of him. Berwald had made coffee for him.

Mathias looked up to see the other sitting down in a chair across the room with a cup of his own. However, despite his cozy surroundings, the nerves in his stomach prevented himself from being able to drink anything. He felt that just sitting silent and ignoring Berwald's hospitality was helplessly rude though, and suddenly felt the need to find something, anything to say. And then, the most obvious conversational question became clear, and he wasn't sure why he hadn't thought of it earlier.

"Where's Tino?" he asked, and the second he did he regretted it. Berwald reacted as if he had been electrocuted, suddenly slamming his cup in the table with a loud "clank" that shot anxiety into Mathias.

"Where's Lukas?" retorted Berwald, staring at his hands. Of course he knew exactly where Lukas was, Mathias impulsively thought. Berwald knew Lukas had run away and left him just like everyone had. The bastard was just proving that he was still on top of the scale with that response. That he could deliver a blow if needed. How cruel and pointless. How could Berwald ever understand -

And then Mathias himself understood. He was not the only one who had been left alone by someone he loved.

He sunk back into the couch and looked up at Berwald who was still staring at his own hands. Then he did something ridiculous. Something that would have made his old self die of shame. (But hey - maybe it wasn't a bad time to make sure his "old self" was dead and gone for good.) He apologized.

"I'm sorry Berwald, I'm so so sorry" he started, trying to fight away his pride with deep breaths. "About... Tino... about the past... I was just - I was a different person and I was selfish and - well I know there's no excuse." Why were his eyes beginning to sting with tears? "There's just no excuse and I'm just so very sorry."

His eyes, which had been wandering the room during his apology, now returned to Berwald, and he expected to be met with an angry glare. Surprisingly, this didn't happen. The look that met with Mathias' own was earnestly calm, and Mathias had never experienced such a feeling of overwhelming relief. And that was it.

The two sat in the warm glow of the fireplace for at least half an hour after that, both finishing their coffee and hardly saying a word, besides the casual "more sugar?" and "no, thank you." Mathias assumed he should start heading home soon, but oh how he dreaded that! Nonetheless, he had begun to repair old ties with his visit, and that was more than he ever thought possible. But just as he thought this Berwald indicated that he wasn't ready for their visit to end by getting up to throwing more wood on the fire. 'Leave that dammed fire alone!' Mathias was tempted to shout, but he was also inexplicably grateful that he had an excuse to stay in Berwald's company longer, so he remained silent.

What did put Mathias out of his comfort zone, however, was Berwald's next move. Instead of returning to his own seat he moved across the carpeted floor to where Mathias was and took a seat next to him on the couch.

"I have a lot to say" Berwald stated. He was funny that way, thought the Dane, he could remember this about Berwald. The Swede sure didn't speak much, but when he did he sure as hell wanted to make sure every word was heard.

"Okay, I'm listening" Mathias responded. He was surprised at the ease with which his words left his mouth.

"Bein' a nation comes with lots 'a expectations 'n hardship, as I'm sure ya know. Lot of those hardships happen because we live so long. We watch so many things - people - come 'n go, 'n phases like regret 'n loneliness last so much longer for us. Thing about us though's we tend to lay all responsibility for that on our citizens. Act like our happiness 'n peace isn't up to us. Why do we do that?" Berwald shifted uncomfortably, but closer to Mathias, (Mathias assumed it was difficult for him to confess things like this,) and made sure the other was looking him in the eyes as he continued his little speech.

" 'S true that I hate the memories I have of ya. But I also hate loneliness. And 500 years - even 100 for me - is far too long to be lonely. I know ya don't wanna be lonely anymore either. So I have a proposition." Mathias could hardly hear Berwald's words over his own heartbeat. "If ya open up to me 'n trust me - prove to me that I can trust you - then maybe we can do somethin' about this awful loneliness."

Mathias felt like he could crumble to the floor, crushed by these outrageous words. How could Berwald keep his stoic composure through all this? He wasn't sure how to respond - he didn't think he could. He realized his jaw had dropped open out of reserved disbelief, closed it out of embarrassment, and looked down to his lap. Of course he knew his answer. This was his chance - it had to be like this. He nodded.

Berwald shifted even closer and Mathias took a deep breath to calm himself for what he assumed was coming next. He was afraid his body would instinctively resist, so he had to be sure to defeat its wishes with those of his mind. He was desperately clinging to the outrageous idea of melting into Berwald - the answer to his painful loneliness was finally within reach and he was determined to not let it slip away. Because of the stability this determination brought he only flinched slightly when Berwald lightly stroked his cheek, brought his face closer, and touched his lips to Mathias' own.

Even after all these years, Berwald's lips still tasted the same. The taste threatened to bring back memories but Mathias promptly refused them. They were going to make new memories now to replace the old. Their lips separated but Berwald pressed them together again, this time placing a hand on the back of Mathias' neck to bring them closer. It was Mathias who opened his mouth first, eager to prove himself to the other. Berwald quickly responded to this invitation by pushing his tongue inside, and in that moment their contact took a turn from something sweet and cautious, to something filthy, but still as passionate and meaningful.

Berwald tasted Mathias' mouth, licking every corner while the Dane whimpered underneath him. It had been quite a while since either had been able to release frustrating tension like this and therefore it didn't take very much for either to get unbearably worked up. Mathias was not only breathing heavily because of the Swedish man's tongue playing with his own, but now Berwald had placed his hand dangerously high on Mathias' thigh, and his thumb was tracing up and down his zipper. Mathias then remembered that he should be the one opening up - proving himself - so he detached from Berwald's lips and swung his leg around him, sat straddling him and dove back in for more kissing with half-lidded eyes.

Mathias began to work on unbuttoning Berwald's shirt and as a sign of approval Berwald grabbed his ass harshly with both hands and pushed Mathias into him as he lifted his hips to grind into Mathias. Both men groaned at the sensation and began to pant out of impatience into each other's mouths. Once Berwald's shirt was open he shrugged it off and Mathias leaned back to slip his own over his head.

The second it was off Berwald pulled Mathias back to him and went to work on his neck. Mathias felt him starting slowly and gently by licking along a vein in his neck from his collar bone all the way up to his jaw. He was taken off guard by what the Swede did next. He felt teeth cautiously dig into his neck. Despite himself, Mathias shuttered and pulled away, looking to the side in shame. He knew Berwald was only trying to excite him, but memories of how the two had torn each other to pieces all those years ago stood in the way of pain being able to stimulate him, and that frustrated him. 'I just need to suck it up and take it,' Mathias thought to himself, 'this isn't about what makes me feel good. It's about proving to Berwald that I won't hurt him anymore.'

But to his surprise, instead of Berwald disapproving of his resistance, Mathias felt the man's hand on his jaw tilting his face down to meet his gaze, and in that gaze Mathias found soft words of understanding. Berwald moved to his neck again which made Mathias tense at first, until he felt the rough play from earlier being replaced with soft touches of lips and tongue soothing the spot where Mathias was bitten as if asking for forgiveness. It was then that the Dane realized that this wasn't just about giving Berwald what he wanted as some form of payback - they were both in this together. They both had to ensure the other's pleasure in order to finally defeat their loneliness. Mathias alerted Berwald to his gratitude with a low hum.

Berwald took this as a sign to move on and leaned down to take one of Mathias' nipples in his mouth. Mathias felt Berwald's tongue playing with it and his lips applying pressure, and before long he found himself unintentionally and helplessly grinding himself on Berwald's thigh while slight moans left his throat between pants. He noticed Berwald buck his hips a couple of times in a row and shift uncomfortably, and it was brought to his attention that the other man would have his own problem that needed to be tended to by now.

Mathias slowly pulled his chest away from Berwald's face and slipped off his lap onto the floor. He reached up to unbuckle Berwald's pants and undo the button and zipper, which was a tad difficult due to the impressive bulge pressing against the fabric and, for some reason, Mathias' shaking fingers. Once he slipped his fingers underneath the waistline of both Berwald's pants and briefs, and slid them down his legs only to realize he hadn't removed Berwald's shoes and socks, he figured out why he was shaking and sweaty. He had no clue what he was doing - he had never done this before. Determined not to give up, he stopped to take off the other's shoes and socks, and then slipped his pants and briefs off the rest of the way, discarding them somewhere behind him. He was temporarily distracted by self-conscious worries of his inadequacies with this particular skill, but decided to find a way to take it as a good sign. It meant he really did care about making Berwald feel good, a trait his old self would not have been capable of, and any proof that he was not his old self anymore was reassuring.

This flood of thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he looked up to see Berwald's cock standing tall and leaning back against his stomach. He moved up to it and wrapped his index finger and thumb around his base to bring the head to his lips. 'Just think about what you would like and do that' he thought to himself.

Mathias gathered spit in his mouth and let it drip from his lips onto the head of Berwald's dick and it slid down the underside to the base. He then looked up to make eye contact with Berwald and opened his mouth to lick up the trail of spit from base to tip, sucking lightly at the soft skin at the top when he got there. He tried swirling his tongue around it as well as licking up and down across the slit a few times, with the two of them never breaking eye contact. Berwald groaned and his hips bucked up again and Mathias took this as positive encouragement.

He looked down, opened his mouth wide, and slipped Berwald into his mouth. He heard the other man moan with satisfaction as his dick hit the back of Mathias' throat and he began to suck. He moved his head up and down now, paying particular attention to sucking the tip when he lifted his head. He even used the hand that wasn't around Berwald's base to play with his balls. 'This isn't nearly as difficult as I feared' Mathias thought, and he was helplessly in love with the lazy moans and sighs coming from Berwald. He had never heard sounds like this from him before - all he could remember was forced screaming. Nothing like this. For a brief moment the word "precious" crossed his mind.

He began picking up speed, not meaning to finish Berwald off but just wanting to impress. However, before long he felt fingers grabbing his hair and Berwald threw his head back, let out a long and strained moan and came into his mouth. Mathias had to just go with it and he let Berwald shoot himself onto his tongue and a little bit landed on his lip and started running down his chin. Mathias was going to lift his hand to wipe his chin, but before he could Berwald leaned forward and licked it off, and the two men swallowed at the same time, reestablishing their eye contact, their faces flushed and their breathing heavy.

Mathias was confused about what was to going to happen now, but the look in Berwald's eyes indicated that he had a plan. Whatever it was, Mathias hoped it involved the removal of his pants - he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand being in them. Berwald's lips twitched up into as much of a smirk as he could manage, and he began to stand, nodding his head upwards to imply that Mathias should do the same. "Wait here." Berwald instructed. Mathias didn't like to be ordered around and impulsive protest came to his mind, but he just had to remind himself that this wasn't a power struggle anymore, and he should just comply with the other's wishes.

Berwald was only gone for a couple minutes and came back from what Mathias assumed was his bedroom with a bottle of lube. Of course. Much to his relief, Berwald went straight for Mathias' belt buckle after tossing the bottle to the side onto the couch. Mathias helped out by kicking his own shoes off which allowed Berwald to slip the rest off with ease.

Mathias exhaled with appreciation when he was released and exposed. Berwald stepped closer to him, placed one hand on the back of his neck to bring him in for another messy kiss, and wrapped his other hand around Mathias' cock. Their kissing was noisy and Berwald entered Mathias' mouth with more excited passion this time and Mathias was whimpering onto the other's tongue because of his stroking. Mathias didn't want to come yet, but he didn't know if he could build up the willpower to tell Berwald to stop. Fortunately the Swede had the same train of thought, moved both of his hands to Mathias' hips, and pushed him back slowly.

Although he wasn't too fond of being told what to do this way, he accepted it as Berwald's best means of communication. The hands on his hips lead him to turn around and face the couch. He did so and then felt one of Berwald's hands move and put slight pressure between his shoulder blades, indicating that he was to bend over the couch. 'So this is how Berwald wants it,' he thought, 'I can deal with that.' He leaned over and steadied himself with his hands and spread his legs apart with his ass in the air. To his surprise, doing this wasn't nearly as uncomfortable and embarrassing as he had imagined it would be. He would have to think about why later.

He was expecting Berwald to grab for the bottle of lube and prepare him with his fingers, so when he felt the other spread his ass with his hands and spit just above his asshole, Mathias gasped loudly in surprise. He tried to look behind him but his position made that difficult, and all he could see was Berwald's knees on the floor behind him. He couldn't see anything else after that - his eyes rolled back in his head after he felt Berwald's tongue swirl around his asshole.

Mathias couldn't help but squirm and whine shamelessly under Berwald's touches - the Swedish man was now licking quickly up and down and occasionally slipping the tip of his tongue inside. When he did this, Mathias let out a breathy and unintentionally loud "Oh!" and pushed back against Berwald's face. The slick and dirty feeling of Berwald's saliva dripping down to his balls, the warm breath on his ass - it was all too much and Mathias was afraid he would come from just this. He had never been catered to this way before.

Berwald stopped what he was doing before this happened though, only to pour a significant amount of lube where his tongue had been, and he began to push inside with his index finger. Mathias took it in with a moan and Berwald had little trouble adding a second finger. Once he had two inside he turned his palm to face the ground and aimed for Mathias' prostate with his twists and strokes. Mathias felt his sweet spot be hit by Berwald's middle finger and he yelled and jerked his hips in response.

Berwald seemed to be satisfied with his find and extracted his fingers, making Mathias shutter and clench. He noticed a few more drops of lube falling on his hole, heard the other man slicking himself up, and felt his cheeks being spread apart again. However, when he felt Berwald rub his head up and down across his asshole and prepare to enter, he had an unexplainable urge. Before allowing himself time to talk himself out of it, he took a deep breath and tried his best to speak.

"W-wait..." he instructed. He felt Berwald grow still and the most wonderful appreciation came over him - something in the back of his mind had doubted that the other man would stop if asked to. But he did. Mathias would have to remember to thank him later. For now he had to bring his attention to the situation at hand, and the somewhat embarrassing request he had.

He tilted his head to look at Berwald, who looked concerned. "It's just..." he continued "I want... I want to watch you..." he admitted and turned red at his own words.

"Hmm." Berwald agreed, and stepped back to give Mathias room to turn around. Mathias did just that and laid down on the couch, laying one leg over the back and letting the other fall off the side to the floor.

Berwald climbed between his legs and Mathias realized why he wanted it this way. It was because last time he had been turned around. He had felt trapped and vulnerable to the Swede's enraged whims. If they continued the other way, he realized, it would have felt like they were picking back up where they had left off, and finishing what had been left undone. But this way he could watch and have the ability to interject, and as Berwald pushed his was inside of him, Mathias saw nothing but peaceful pleasure on his face, and just couldn't resist the urge to wrap his arms around Berwald's neck and bring him down for a kiss once he was completely inside.

Fortunately, due to his wonderful preparations, there was little pain and adjustment time for Mathias and soon he grew used to Berwald's shallow movements. The Swede picked up on the pleasure in the other's expression and gradually increased his speed and depth. Mathias knew, however, that neither would last long, and was sure that Berwald was thinking the same as he started bucking his hips even faster. By this point the room was getting quite noisy - skin slapping skin, the couch creaking against the floor, and Mathias not being able to have any control over his whiny moaning.

He felt sweat roll off his forehead and Berwald lifted his hips to slam himself in as deep as he could, both of them grunting as he his Mathias' prostate. When Berwald pulled back Mathias noticed his own breath was shaky and he knew he was right on the edge. He lifted his hand to his own cock but Berwald got there first, stroking him off to the rhythm of his own thrusts.

"Ah! A-again... Please... I'm gonna..." Mathias asked, and Berwald complied. "Ah dammit!" Mathias screamed when he felt the other ram inside of him once more as deep as he could, and he moaned in ecstasy as he shot cum over both of their stomachs. His chest was rising and falling and he opened his eyes just in time to see Berwald looking straight into his eyes, his face bright red, right before he, too, came.

"FUCK!" screamed the usually silent Swede as one final slap of skin filled Mathias' ass with his cum. Mathias hummed at the sensation and felt Berwald collapse on his chest before removing himself.

-Later that night-

Mathias had stayed - he had actually accepted Berwald's invitation to spend the night. Berwald wasn't sure why this was so hard to believe after their evening together, but he decided not to think about it too much. He wasn't alone and that was all that mattered at the moment.

He was currently laying in bed with Mathias, only sheets covering them. His chest was pressed tight against the other man's back and his arm was draped over his side, their fingers intertwining at Mathias' chest. Neither were sleepy, and both knew this, but just laying together was so fulfilling to the emptiness the two had accumulated in the past few hundreds of years. Berwald had missed having someone in his bed to... care about... way too much.

No matter how much he tried to stop it, the warm body underneath the covers brought back memories of when Tino had been with him. Everything had seemed so blissfully perfect. But a war against Ivan Braginski would change anyone he supposed. He wasn't angry with Tino for growing distant and leaving him, he understood the boy needed his own space. But he had been so empty - so excruciatingly empty for so long. Could it really be that all of that was coming to an end?

Berwald knew he shouldn't be ridiculous, but he had one question that he just couldn't stand to leave unasked. His memories of Tino forced him to crave reassurance.

"Mathias..." he whispered lazily."

"Hmm?"

"Can ya promise me somethin'?"

"What is it?"

Berwald couldn't believe he was actually about to ask this, he felt like he was admitting to some sensitive personal failure, but he let the words slip out anyway.

"Can ya promise you'll be here in the mornin'?"

Mathias fell silent and still underneath his arm and Berwald felt his gut sinking. 'So that's his response' he thought. 'Had he been planning to leave all along? Or did my words themselves scare him away?' Mathias shuffled against him and Berwald's heart pumped anxiety through his whole body. But when Mathias turned to look at him it was with a look of concern. Instead of responding with words the other man touched his lips to Berwald's own, and held their kiss for longer than usual.

"Of course." he finally responded, looking straight into Berwald's eyes. "I won't leave you. I promise. I'll be here."

And as it turns out, the next morning, he still was. And the next morning, and the next one, and even the one after that. Berwald wasn't sure how long this would last, they sure had a lot of woulds to heal together. But if their wounds were what kept them with each other, striving to create better memories, then he was thankful for each and every one.

Well there we have it! I tried to make it meaningful as I really do adore this pairing, but porn was the whole point, so yeah. There we have it.

As always reviews/critiques are encouraged - you know I wanna get better at writing porn!

Thank you so much for reading! ^.^