Disclaimer: I do not own Whitechapel. ITV does.

So this is happening. In my mind this is what happens right after the end of the season three. I do not know why maybe I just want to torture myself.

Chapter ONE

*Flashback*

"Um, I wanted to apologize to you."

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have been so harsh on you in your interview. I shouldn't have spied on you. I guess being the bad cop isn't really me."

"Perhaps it's more you than you think."

*end flashback*

She was dead and he had hated her. Well, disliked her but what if she was right. He wasn't happy that she was dead. But how dared she, how dared she tell him he wasn't a good cop. He was a good cop and a good person, everyone said that. But they also thought that he was weak, they all knew he hid to cry at hard cases.

"Come on, Kent" Miles was picking him up from the floor. When did I slide down the wall? Rest of the day he spent like the rest of his team in interrogation. There was going to be an internal investigation. He recounted what had happened, everyone had been supportive, and they all had said that it hadn't been his fault. It wasn't anyone of their faults he had said. It didn't matter, anyway.

He found him, he didn't want to. Didn't want to see his DI, to look at his broken and disappointed face, to see his pain, how much she meant to him. Hallway was dark and he just wanted to hide, escape Buchan's words of comfort, Riley's tea. So he went into the darkness, kept going until he felt that he wasn't alone. He heard it faint sound of snapping and he knew.

"Kent?"

Chandler felt like his was out of his mind, it wasn't fair she was his comfort, she made him fell lighter, she helped him, nobody helped him like that before. His wrist hurt, he was snapping and snapping the bloody band, hiding in the dark like a child. Like his DC, hiding and having a cry, except he wasn't crying. He was feeling an immense loss, but was it really for Morgan or what she represented, he didn't know. Running was not an option; he knew that his team needed him now. They were probably being interrogated and he just left. They would understand and yet he didn't want them to. Nobody called him out on his faults. They accepted them and he felt worse for it, like he was a failure. There were footsteps. No, I want to be alone, leave whoever you are. And then he knew who it was, nobody was coming for him; it was someone else trying to run too.

"I…" he didn't know what to say.

He felt it then, hand found him in the dark, and he could feel waves of tension that were rolling from the DI. Next moment DI's hands were squeezing his forearms so hard, he yelped.

"Please, stop." But he was just being pushed backwards, he was paralyzed, memories of being pushed and handled this roughly before came back to him.

"Joe, please." He used his boss's name in hope to reach him, break him out of the trance he felt he was in. He felt the arms lightening their grip. "Sir, I am sorry." The hands were coming higher up his arms; his own hands were on Chandler's wrists. "I didn't know. I am sorry."

"You thought she was hiding something," voice was so close to his face now. "You wanted her to be guilty, but you were wrong."

Kent was angry now. He grabbed the DI's wrists, trying to push him away.

"Maybe she wasn't guilty. But she knew Luke Watney, she was connected to him." He said defiantly.

"Yes, she was." Chandler answered, he sounded defeated.

His was voice sounding even closely now. Kent swallowed. What is going on?

"I just needed to know. Not that it matters now." Chandler was slowly coming to himself, he was holding his DC in a very intimate way, and he didn't want to flinch or run away. He didn't mind being there. He could hear Kent's deep breathing. He wasn't trying to push him anymore. It's ok, he thought. So he leaned and kissed him.

Oh it was better than he ever imagined, and he could imagine so very much. Finally. He just let himself feel, he gave in. DI lips were dry and little chipped but it didn't matter. He kissed her with those lips. He wants her, you are the second prize. So what? "Perhaps it's more you than you think." Female voice repeated in his mind.

"It's not." He yelled, pushing Chandler away and turning to leave.

"I am not." He said silently. Chandler tried to grab his shoulder.

"Don't." he said with so much pain in his voice, leaving the DI stunned.

What have I done was the only thought in Chandler head as he listened to the fading sound of Kent footsteps.

The next day Kent came to the station, sat at his desk and decided to make some tea. He didn't expect the DI to be first there as usually. He sat back at his desk looking from time to time at Chandler's office. Miles came in. "The boss isn't coming today, or for a next few days. He is using his vacation days. Till he comes back in I am in charge, we go as usual." He looked at Kent

"Boss's office." He nodded towards DI office. Kent followed him.

"Kent you are completely cleared, nobody really thought you had anything with the Morgan's stabbing. As always your work is beyond par."

"Thanks skip." He left the office, and sat back at his desk.

I have fucked up.

Chapter Two happens after the end of season four.

Chapter Two

The blond man left the shower, and came back to the bed room, it was empty and that was wrong, he walked toward the kitchen and his living room, they were both empty. His calls went unanswered. Chill went through his body, I made a mistake, you don't deserve nice things Joe, every good thing in your life you destroy.

No, I will make this right, he went to his room and grabbed his phone, as the light switched on he saw a message one on the display. His heart was now in his throat, he couldn't control himself, tears started, and emotions were overwhelming him. NO his mind screamed. He grabbed first things that he could reach and his phone and started running. He can't be far.

He had tasted the forbidden fruit, and for a night broke all the rules. Even as he fell on the silk sheets and his body was being covered by indescribable heat, while they were exchanging kisses, between the moans, while giving pleasure and seeking his high he knew, and he didn't care. He wanted to give; he needed to be taken even if it was for all the wrong reasons. His heart broke that night. He was gone from the bed, the warmth as soon as Joe left to take a shower. And now he was leaving again, running while he could still fell him inside himself, as his scent lingered on him.

He was wrong. He was so wrong. He didn't have a choice if he stayed he would change forever. He knew he was becoming a monster, like those they hunted; he was going to hurt Joe. How he wanted to hurt him to show him that he was there. To yell and scream and take him so he could only be his, only belong to him. If Chandler was an angel then he was a demon, and he was going to capture him, break his wings and bind him so he would always be his, and he would never let him go.

As he run his mind flashed to what happened before, it was a goodbye of course it was, the young man under him gave everything, had given himself over without reservation, and he just took and took. The comfort, the passion, the pleasure, he drank his moans and sighs, reveled in the flesh that had been offered and hadn't understood a single thing. Idiot. You are an idiot. And then it hit him, he loved him. His hair, the way he smiled, his understanding eyes, his utter and complete belief in him, his kindness, selflessness, his understanding and intelligence. Oh, please don't let me be late.

Why am I like this? He had asked.

The response was a shrug. It is this place; I know it is with all of its ghosts and monsters. It was more than anyone should deal with. And to deal without a single light in his life. How things change. He knew he had it once that spark and for a moment he believed that he had touched a spark of another, we could have burned together he thought; we could have lit the skies.

*Flashback

You cannot escape yourself she had said.

"What?" He asked.

"You cannot be anything except who you are, and for him that will never be enough."

*end flashback*

"Answer me, come on Kent, damn it."

Next thing he knew he was pounding on Kent's flat door. His was yelling his name.

He saw the light coming on, and the door was opened.

"Oy, mate am gonna call the coppers on you. Do you know the time?"

"I am police, I am Kent's boss and I need to talk to him, now." He said pushing the young man aside.

"He is not here."

"What?"

"Sent me a text he wasn't coming home, so… Try his phone."

"He isn't answering." Chandler said impatiently.

"Well, I can't help you then." Chandler could see that the man was on a short fuse.

"You're the DI Chandler?"

"Yes." He answered while Kent's phone continued ringing.

"You should leave."

"What?"

"Listen, mate I don't know any bosses that come like furies to their employee's houses at 3 am because they are not answering the phone. I do not care if it's a police thing but obviously it isn't. So leave."

Chandler was stunned at being thrown out of the flat. The man just showed him out and slammed the door into his face. He didn't care. He had lost.

A/N: So this is what could have happened after season three. This is why my idea why Chandler reacts the way he does when Miles shows him Kent and his sister. I re-watched the third season and I think that Morgan puts a doubt in Kent mind. It just goes downhill from there.