I now pronounce you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl
Summary: What if No1's little joke was more legally binding then he thought.
Artemis Fowl had rather been enjoying his morning when he got a letter. The word letter here is used loosely because what had come through the Fowl letter slot that day was at least two degrees north of what most would consider regular postage. Which Artemis discovered when he tried to open the envelope which seemed ordinary enough until it folded open in his hands and resumed the shape of thin screen. Artemis blinked, curious. The screen wavered for a few seconds before lines of Gnommish text began to scroll across it. It took Artemis barely a second for his brain to switch from English to the Fairy language and he began to read.
To Artemis Fowl the Second
It has come to our attention that on the date of August 7 2008 you partook in a ceremony overseen by the Demon Warlock known as Number One in which you held hands Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon and were pronounced by Number one as 'Man and Elf'. As a Warlock Number One has been ordained by the Fairy Council to preform any and all civil duties related to his post. This ceremony is therefore binding. Congratulations on your marriage to Captain Short.
Sincerely
The Fairy Council
"Hurk" Artemis spluttered holding the letter as far away from him as he possibly could. His family members all looked up from their breakfast at this outburst and shared puzzled glances over the expression of shock and horror on the genius' face.
"Artemis need Toilet?" Beckett asked.
STORY NOTES
Letters: I was orginally going to have a plain letter for Artemis to read when I realised that Fairies haven't used actual paper for centuries. And the only way I could get the messafe through the mail was if it looked like a letter. So I created a foldable screen. Folded up it looks like a regular envelope but it unfolds into a letter sized screen. Fairies like getting cards and mail as much as the next species.
August 7 2008: The release date of 'Artemis Fowl the Time Paradox' in the U.K
Anyway that's all more oneshots and little drabbly bits on the way. Hopefully longer next time