The Drunken Ramblings of a Sober Man
Disclaimer: DC Comics and CW own Arrow and its characters. I am only borrowing them.
Disclaimer: This is rated "M" for references of violence, language and a consensual sexual situation. References to Season 1 and Season 2. This is a One-Shot and an AU.
Summary: This is my take on what should have happened after they came back from the island at the end of Season 2.
Hope you like this one shot, especially if you are an "Olicity" fan too! The misspells and missed words are intentional during "drunk time."
Oliver sat at Verdant's bar, nursing his third drink. He had a small buzz, but was still in full use of his faculties. It was after hours, so no one else was around. Technically, he was breaking and entering, since he no longer owned the club, and Thea was MIA. But, he needed to be here since the lair was below. And, the booze was still here, which is what he really needed. Here he could just be Oliver. He was all alone. With a faint smirk on his face, Oliver looked at the floor, as if his gaze could penetrate to the basement below.
Not ALL alone...
He knew Felicity was downstairs, typing away on her "babies." Oliver sighed, his expression suddenly thoughtful. Felicity...
It had been weeks since Slade Wilson had been defeated and returned to the Island, and he and Felicity still hadn't really spoken about what had been said at the mansion. Sure, they had danced around it after depositing Slade back on Lian Yu, but they hadn't talked.
Diggle however...now he had talked...
On the plane ride back, while Felicity slept in the back...oblivious...
Giving him knowing looks and pointed stares the whole time...
Oliver was flying the small plane back to Starling City, Diggle at his right. Felicity was curled up in the back, sleeping peacefully. Oliver chuckled when he saw this, considering what Diggle had told him about the last time they had been at the Island. Apparently, she trusted his skills more than anyone else.
Diggle sighed beside him. Oliver looked over at him. "What's the matter?"
Diggle turned toward him. "I could ask you the same question."
Oliver deliberatly blanked out his face. He knew Dig would see through it, but still...
"Don't know what you are talking about."
Diggle rolled his eyes. "Really? I have eyes and ears, Oliver. I heard what you two were talking about before we left."
Oliver sighed. "So?"
Diggle gave him a "Really?" look before he sighed again. "Why did you let her believe you don't have feelings for her?"
Oliver froze. He didn't want to have this conversation...not now. "Cause I don't. Not like that," he said evenly.
"I've watched the two of you dance around each other for two years. You can lie to yourself all you want to, but I know better."
Oliver shook his head. "It's...complicated."
"What isn't with you?" Dig said, chuckling.
"I mean it, Dig. I can't...I can't allow myself to feel that way about her. It would only hurt her in the end."
"She's already been hurt. Laurel...Sara...McKenna...Helena...Isabel...should I continue?"
Oliver grit his teeth. "So I've made some dumbass choices. What's your point?"
Dig raised a brow. "I know you aren't this obtuse, Oliver. Every woman that you have been with since you came back has hurt Felicity. She loves you."
Oliver sighed. He dropped his head a bit. "I know she does. I've known for awhile. After the whole "Isabel" situation in Russia, I told Felicity I couldn't be with someone that I could really care about. Because of my life, and the way I live it, I don't want to...have a deep connection with someone."
"You mean you don't want a deep connection with Felicity. Man, I hate to break it to you, but you already do. And I know for a fact that you were jealous as hell when Barry Allen showed up and Felicity wasn't around as much."
Oliver rolled his eyes. "I wasn't jealous. I was concerned because I knew he was hiding something."
Diggle smirked. "Keep telling yourself that, buddy. Keep on telling yourself that."
Oliver growled. "Dig..."
"Just admit it, Oliver. You are in love with our fair Felicity."
Oliver looked back at Felicity, unconsiously smiling when he saw how she had borrowed his jacket to use as her pillow. He took in her blonde hair, that was starting to escape the confines of the hair tie. Not for the first time, he wanted to run his fingers through those locks of hair. Her cheeks were slightly pink, probably from being out in the sun. His fingers itched to touch her soft skin. Her fingers were curled against her cheek, and a small smile graced her lips. He wanted to kiss those lips, to see if they tasted sweet. He didn't realize he was staring, until Diggle snapped his fingers. He looked back at Diggle, who wore a shit eating grin on his face.
Oliver swore, knowing it was pointless to lie anymore. "Yeah...I do love her. I think I have for a long while."
Diggle sat back in the chair, looking like the cat who ate the canary. "I've known that longer than you have. I just wanted to hear you admit it."
Oliver chuckled, shaking his head. "The night Slade took her...I told her then."
Diggle sat up straighter. This was news to him. "You did?" he asked.
"I didn't mean to. It just...slipped out. We said what we rehearsed for Slade, and then...I don't know. I looked into her eyes, and I just...I had to tell her...at least once. Maybe...I needed her to know."
"What did she say?"
"Nothing. Because...after that, I gave her the cure for Slade. I asked her if she understood, and she said she did. Then, I left her there, knowing Slade would kidnap her. After he called me, I hadn't realized how much I was hoping he wouldn't take her. That I would be able to defeat him on my own, and I would go back to the mansion to get her...and she would still have been safe."
"But he did take her, and she is safe...because of you."
"She never would have been in that position if it wasn't for me."
"Oliver, each of us...Felicity...Roy...myself...we made the choice to join you. To stay with you. To help you rid the city of criminals. To help you become a better man. I know none of us regret that decision. Are you regretting getting us all involved?"
"No! Never! I just... I didn't plan on falling for Felicity. I didn't plan on falling in love."
Diggle slapped his shoulder. "You never do, man. You never do..."
Oliver shook his head. "It doesn't matter anyways. I'm no good for her that way."
Dig sighed. "Why not let her decide that? I think she'd surprise you."
"Dig...I love her enough to not get her romantically involved with the emotion wreck known as Oliver Queen. Oliver Queen doesn't deserve her."
"Man...seriously! You weird me out when you talk about yourself in the third person," Dig said, eyeing him. Oliver just smirked. "Oliver...take a chance. Tell her how you feel. But...don't take too long."
The rest of the ride was blessidly silent, but gave Oliver far too much time to think.
And here he was, weeks later...
Still thinking.
If Felicity had noticed changes in him since they came back, she hadn't voiced her thoughts. Things between them had been mostly back to normal. He still caught her watching him from time to time, and he made sure to give her a little bit of a show. The blush that spilled over her cheeks was worth it. He made sure to touch her in some way every day, loving the feel of her soft skin against his calloused fingers.
He knew he needed to tell her the truth. He owed it to her to tell her the truth. Fact was, he was scared shitless. All his life, he had used women for his own personal amusement, not really caring about their feelings. He had gotten his pleasure and then walked away. Even when he was with Laurel, when it got too serious, he ran away, dragging Sara down with him.
Being stranded on Lian Yu had taught him about survival. It had taught him how selfish and self absorbed he had been. It taught him to appreciate life, because he never knew when he woke up each day if it would be his last...
It taught him about love.
He hadn't planned to fall in love with Shado. It had just washed over him, like a gentle wave. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when he realized he had feelings for her. He just knew that he wanted to explore the feelings he had, and had been delighted when she shared those feelings. If only he had known how Slade also felt about her...
Maybe he had known. Maybe he had always seen it. He had still been so selfish then. So focused on what he wanted, that he never considered how much he was killing his friend and brother in arms. If not for that selfishness...
Oliver glanced at the floor again, and a slow smile crept onto his face. Felicity...
From the first moment he met her, she had tilted his world on its axis. She had been the first person since his return to earn an honest smile out of him. He still chuckled, thinking about that first meeting. Her babbling had been adorable, and he loved how easily she got flustered by his presence. He couldn't help the grin that crossed his lips.
Two years later, she still made him smile when no one else could. She grounded him, and made him human. He loved everything about her.
Oliver sighed and shook his head. His hand pushed into his hair, and he took another drink. He was an idiot.
From that first meeting, he had been a goner. Like Shado, he hadn't planned to fall in love with Felicity. It had just washed over him, starting as a friendship, and growing into so much more.
But unlike Shado, Oliver saw all the things he could have with Felicity. He saw her in the white dress on their wedding day. He saw her belly swollen, as she carried their child. He saw their child cradled in Felicity's arms, a perfect blend of them both.
He saw his future.
Oliver filled his glass again, draining it. He needed alot more alcohol...
Felicity sat in the basement of Verdant, typing away on her "babies." Since their return from Lian Yu, it had been fairly quiet on the homefront. Diggle was spending more time with Lyla, as he had finally disclosed that she was pregnant. Felicity had been so excited for the two of them, but at the same time, she had also been depressed. She had looked over at Oliver, and saw that he had been wearing a similar expression on his own face. Then, he had shaken it off, and offered Diggle his hand to shake.
Felicity knew wishing for the same thing with Oliver was pointless. Oliver had a mission, a purpose. She knew she couldn't interfere with that. Didn't mean that she couldn't dream, though. They may share smuldering looks all the time, and she knew Oliver stared at her almost as often as she did him, but that didn't mean anything. He had gourgeous Laurel. She was his dream girl.
And then, what happened at the mansion...
To say she had been shocked when he told her he loved her would be an understatement. The way he looked at her when he said it, she was sure he was going to kiss her right there. Then, reality had washed over her when he pushed the cure into her hand. She had wanted to kick herself for her stupidity. Of course it was all for show. There was no way that Oliver Queen...
When they stood on the beach, she had hoped he would tell her it hadn't been for show. A tiny part of her wanted it to be real...
More than a tiny part...
Once they came back, things had mostly returned to normal. Oliver was still...Oliver. And she was still Felicity...
His girl Wednesday.
She blew out a large breath. Damn it...
Her phone started to ring, and she saw Oliver's face smiling back at her. She picked up the phone, and fortified herself before answering.
"Oliver?" she asked. She was surprised a second later when he laughed in her ear.
"Hey...F'icity! Wanna..."hiccup" come up and drink with me?" Oliver replied. Felicity raised a brow. Was he drunk?
"Oliver, have you been drinking?"
She heard him hiccup again, and then heard, "Onlya little..."hiccup" lot." Then he hiccupped again. Felicity tried not to laugh.
"Where are you, Oliver?" she asked, already grabbing her purse and keys.
"Above you..." Felicity blushed at that mental image. Then, she stopped, and looked at the ceiling. "You're upstairs?"
"Yup," he said, popping the "p" at the end. "Come and get me."
Felicity smiled and shook her head. "I'm on my way up, Oliver. Sit tight." She swore she heard, "I'm tight alright," but it was so low, she could be wrong. Felicity put her purse down, before heading up the stairs.
Oliver was slumped over on the bar when she approached him. His cell phone was still gripped in his hand. Several shot glasses were stacked around him. She saw a few tall glasses that still had various levels of booze in them as well. A bottle of Vodka was near his elbow, and only about 1/4 of its content remained. Apparently he has been up here awhile. Felicity was very surprised to see Oliver in this state. As far as she knew, he hadn't drank this heavy since his younger, playboy years. She put her hand gently on his shoulder, not wanting to startle him. He sat up, his eyes catching hers. They were bloodshot. A wide grin spread across his face.
"F'icity! You came!" he cried. His hands came up to land on her shoulders. He pulled her against him, and she stumbled slightly, caught off guard. Drunk Oliver is affectionate.
"How long have you been drinking, Oliver?" she asked, again taking in the glasses. He squinted at her, then followed her gaze. He chuckled, and pinched his fingers together.
"This long," he said, spreading his fingers apart a little bit. He then squinted at those fingers, as if he was seeing them for the first time. "These hands...are dangous..."
"You mean dangerous?" Felicity asked. He bobbed his head.
"That's what I said," he replied, his voice low and husky. Felicity nearly shuddered. I wonder if that is what his bedroom voice sounds like...
Oliver looked her up and down. "You bootiful, you know that?" he said. Felicity blushed at his compliment. Then, she sobered.
"And you have obviously had too much to drink to see me clearly. Got those "beer goggles" on, don't you?" she said, hoping her voice sounded as light as she was trying to make it.
Oliver raised an eyebrow. She jumped when his hand came up to her cheek. "Don't put youself down, F'icy," he said quietly. Felicity smiled at him.
"Thanks, Oliver," she said, nodding her head. He smiled, and she stepped away from his hand. He got the message, dropping his hand. His head tilted to the side, and his gaze found hers again.
"Why you stay, F'icy? Why stay with me?" Oliver asked, looking at her in a way she had never seen him look before.
"Because...I see what you can do for Starling City. I see how much you have already done."
He gave her a longer look. "Cause I'm The Arrow?"
"Not just because of that. You are more than just The Arrow. You are Oliver Queen. You are a son, and a brother, and a best friend. You are..." Felicity said, but cut herself off. She had almost said, "the man I love."
Oliver cocked an eyebrow. He leaned in closer. "I'm..."
Felicity swallowed. She had to be careful. She had almost divulged too much. She didn't know how much Oliver would remember. Maybe she should call Laurel. Laurel had more experience with drunk Oliver.
She was pulling her phone out to do just that, when Oliver covered her hand with his own. "I don'ts want Laurel. I called you. I want you." She blinked rapidly, realizing too late she had spoken her thoughts aloud.
"Oliver, you're drunk. You don't really know what you want," Felicity said, sounding like a mother soothing her child after a bad fall. Oliver cocked his head. His hand pulled her forward, until they were nose to nose. His breath ghosted over her face, and she could smell the alcohol on his breath. His hand came up to her cheek. "Oliver?" she asked quietly.
His eyes held hers for several seconds. His fingers pushed into her hair, just as his lips settled on hers. Felicity stopped breathing. She stood there dumbstruck for several more seconds, her brain trying to comprehend that Oliver Queen was kissing her. He pulled back slightly.
"So soft...knew they would be..." Oliver whispered against her lips. Felicity barely had time to gulp air, before his lips smashed against hers again. This time, Felicity kissed him back, and Oliver growled low in his chest. His hands grasped her hips, pulling her into his body.
Felicity gasped as his hard length pressed against her. She had dreamed of this more times than she cared to count, but never had her fantasies felt like this. This was way...WAY better! Oliver moved away from her lips, and Felicity actually whimpered. He smiled, and his head dipped to her throat. She felt him kiss her pulse point, and she almost melted. She couldn't help the moan that slipped past her lips.
Oliver's hands slipped around, grasping her rear end. Felicity pulled back, shocked. Oliver gazed at her, his eyes heavy with lust and desire. "Oliver..." Felicity began shakily.
Oliver reached up, his finger settling over her lips. "Shhhhh...s'okay?"
Felicity swallowed. "What are we doing, Oliver? What are you doing?" she asked around his finger.
"Not what I wanna do..." he muttered. Felicity tilted her head quizzically. There was no way that Oliver actually wanted her...like that! It was the alcohol talking. It had to be.
"Not the al'ohol," Oliver growled. Felicity blushed once she realized her thoughts had been vocalized, yet again. "F'city...want you..." he muttered again. "Always..." His hands gripped her ass again, and suddenly Felicity was pressed against his hard chest. Heat blossomed in her belly, and edged downward. His lips settled on hers again, and Felicity responded immediately, causing Oliver to groan against her mouth. His tongue pushed against her lips, willing her to open to him. She did, and he groaned again, before sweeping his tongue into the warm cavern. Felicity responded ernestly, her tongue dueling against his.
Felicity gasped when Oliver surged to his feet, swaying slightly. He pressed her against him, and Felicity felt the distinct bulge of his erection press into her. Her eyes widened, before she pushed against his erection, causing Oliver to moan. His hands reached for the buttons on her blouse, and began to free them. Gaining her senses back momentarily, Felicity stepped back, panting. Her blouse was gaping open, and Oliver could see the lacy green bra underneath. His pants became even tighter, and he knew he needed to feel relief very soon.
"Oliver...if we do this..." Felicity said, suddenly unsure. She took a step back, needing to put space between them. What if it really wasn't her that he wanted? What if it was just because he was horny, and she was convenient? Would she really be happy with a one night stand with a drunk Oliver Queen? And what would happen afterwards? How awkward would their lives be? Would he even remember it?
She started when she felt his hand slide against her cheek. She didn't even realize tears were forming in her eyes until Oliver wiped them away with his fingertip.
"Felicity..." he said in a low voice. If she had been paying attention, she would have realized that Oliver wasn't really slurring anymore. He was staring at her, and Felicity realized, once again, that her mental voice hadn't stayed mental. "Felicity..." he said again. Oliver pulled her gently toward him, tilting her chin up at the same time. His lips pressed against hers, and Felicity inhaled his scent. He pulled back, and touched his forehead against hers. "I want more than one night..."
Felicity looked into his eyes, reading the truth in them. She drew in several deep breaths, coming to a decision. Grasping him around the waist, she led Oliver toward the door that leads to the foundry. Pushing in the code, she guided him downstairs. Once they reached the training mats, she sat down, pulling him with her. Oliver looked at her, a question in his eyes. She took a deep breath.
"I want more than one night too..." she whispered. His lips settled against hers again, leaning her backwards until she felt the mats against her back. His weight settled over her, pressing his body against hers.
Oliver settled against Felicity, his hard body pressing against her soft curves. His breathing stopped as he took in the vision in front of him. This was real. This was happening. He pulled back, and smiled at the woman he loved more than his own life.
"F'licity...I want you...more than I can explain. No words are enough..." Oliver murmured. His hands moved, as he began to remove their clothing. Felicity helped him, and soon they were unclothed, their bodies pressed together. Both gasped at the contact.
Oliver gently grasped her breast, gripping it loosely in his powerful hand. He knew that he would do everything in his power to make her happy. His past was a distant memory, and his future was now. Oliver leaned down, his mouth encircling her nipple. Felicity arched up as she felt his tongue brush against her heated flesh. Never had her fantasies been this good. Even drunk, the man had serious skills, and they hadn't even reached the sex part yet!
Oliver smiled against her skin, hearing her moans and gasps. He decended lower, his lips carressing against her stomach. She jumped slightly when his fingers brushed against her femininity. He looked up at her, a question in his eyes.
"Keep going..." she whispered. A gasp escaped her lips when he thrust a finger inside her, his tongue licking her clit at the same time. The sensation was too much, and Felicity felt her herself tightening around his finger as her orgasm rocked through her. Oliver smiled against her again, and continued to lick and suck at her clit and folds, lapping up her juices. Felicity was shocked when a second orgasm followed quickly on the heals of the first.
Oliver wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, before settling himself above her. His erection pressed against her folds enticingly. "Are you ready?" he asked. Felicity nodded, and felt him slide deep inside in one push. Oliver groaned as Felicity's heat surrounded him, and he almost lost it right then and there.
Gently, he rocked back and forth a couple times, giving her some time to adjust to him. However, that idea was lost when Felicity grabbed his hips, pulling him against her. Oliver started thrusting, and Felicity gasped and moaned at the feeling.
"So good..." she mumbled. Oliver couldn't help but agree to that statement. He was fighting with himself not to go off too soon. He wanted their first time to be memorable. He wanted it to last as long as possible. As he felt her tighten around him again, Oliver knew it would be a losing battle. As she moaned his name, Oliver gave up the fight and trembled and shook as his seed was released into her body.
Oliver collapsed against Felicity, careful to keep some of his weight off of her. Felicity gripped him tightly, sighing into his collar bone.
"Better than my fantasies..." he heard Felicity whisper. Oliver chuckled and Felicity froze against him. "I said that out loud, didn't I?" she said, her face turning red. Oliver chuckled again.
"Don't ever change, Felicity. I love you exactly as you are. The rambling, the word vomit, all of it. I wouldn't change anything about you."
Felicity stared at him. Oliver drew back. "What?" he asked.
"You aren't slurring anymore. In fact..." she stared harder at him, " You don't even sound drunk anymore." She looked at him, accusation in her eyes.
"Alright, I confess. I wasn't actually drunk to start with. I had a slight buzz, but I was fully aware of everything that was happening between us," Oliver admitted, his face sheepish.
"Why lie?" Felicity asked.
"It sounds strange, but, I wanted to know if you would divulge any secret feelings to drunk Oliver that you wouldn't with sober Oliver."
Felicity laughed. "Drunk or sober, my feelings never change. I love you, Oliver Queen. I think I have for a good, long while."
Oliver leaned down, his lips brushing hers. "I love you, Felicity Smoak. Your light has kept me from totally embracing the dark. Your strength holds me up when I want to give up. And my love for you keeps me grounded. Thank you for that."
Felicity smiled. "What are partners for?"
"You are more than just my partner, Felicity. You are my future, and I'll spend the rest of my life telling you that."
"Sounds like a proposal..." Felicity laughed.
"Someday, I will..."