Well, well, hello, here I am, with a story I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to publish and write, and yet... well, I couldn't help it. I ship these two like crazy.
Also: please note that the story keeps in consideration almost the whole New 52 continuity, with the sole exception of a fact that took place during the "old" continuity, more precisely, a scene revealed in a Nighwing issues set during Final Crisis (or immediately after? I'm not sure. Anyway, it doesn't matter as it was set in the past anyway...)
He almost tells her everything- just almost, because as much as they got closer and closer in the last few days, there's this tiny, little part of his brain that keeps remind him of a time so many, many years before when she told him he would never be Dick- never be like him.
So… he doesn't tell her anything- even if he needs a lot of liquid, alcoholic courage to delete the message where he practically confessed his feelings… his need… to her.
When he enters the ship half an hour later, Roy doesn't say anything, he just steals glances at him every now and then, lifting quizzically his eyebrows behind the mask, and then he does that thing with his fingers- he taps and taps and taps them against the metal of the controls in an unnerving rhythm only he can hear.
It's Roy's secret way of telling him "I really want to lecture you about X, but I will not start the conversation because you'd say I'm wrong and then get lost in the back of the ship, so I'll pretend I don't care, which I know you know I do, and wait for you to start talking about the subject X. Because sooner or later you'll not be able to stand me doing this and that and you'll start to talk, pretending neither of us want to."
Roy is a weird man, on the verge of crazy- but he is his (in a completely friendly and platonic way) weird man. Besides… he is a good man.
"No." Jason simply says. He actually never answered properly (besides a Shout up )when Roy asked him if he had asked Barbara to come along because of his deep feelings for her.
"And…." He hates Roy. He really does. What does the guy has to go all therapist on him? Has he never heard about the old saying physician, heal yourself? He's been in therapy (if training with Essence and Ducra and the All Caste could be considered therapy) enough as it is, with the whole League of Assassins resurrecting him via a magic hot tub that doesn't bring you back as you used to be.
He sighs, his head falling against the controls right before him; he isn't the man he used to be- the boy he was when he first wore the mask, but… he has been doing his best to be different from the creature that emerged from the pit.
He wants to be different, but deep down, sometimes he still feels the moody teenager who wants to disappoint people, do the opposite of what he is asked and prove right the people who don't trust him.
And yet… yet, he forgot all about showing off when he was with Barbara. He wanted to be better- a better friend, ally, warrior… a better man.
For her. Because of her.
He groans, and Roy chuckles, laughing behind his teeth as Jason goes in the back of the ship to call Barbara in peace.
"Just for the record, I hate you!" Jason screams, more annoyed than truly mad, as the archer turns back their vehicle without waiting for Jason's instructions.
He knows that his friend and partner in crime is smiling, and feeling like a teenager at his first crush.
She looks outside her window late at night; it's her old room, the one where she grew up in, full of memories and… and of everything.
She knows there's no need to keep staying there; her dad told her too that he is as okay as he could get, that she just should get back to normality and forget all about it as much as they can. But… she can't. Not yet, at least. She has almost crossed a line, she's been pushed almost over the edge because of what her father was going through- because of where he had been sent- and she still needs a reminder- a physical one- that he is back for good and everything is getting back to normal.
She checks the phone last time, hoping that he had found somehow her number and he'll call her, text her, anything.
She is divided. She wants to stay, but at the same time, she wants to run away, stop breathing the poisonous air of Gotham, filled with nightmares and fear and bad memories.
She wants to leave. But she's never been the kind of girl to run after a guy; if he wants her, he'll have to take the first step (and it better be more than a me too while in costume and holding hands like they were kids). After all, she's done that mistake once already, and she isn't going to make it twice.
She wonders if he'll call. Ok, there's definitely something going on there, but if she was him, she'd never call herself. She'd still be pissed with herself for that famous sentence of so many years before.
You'll never be him. You'll never be like him.
God. Jason was already troubled back them, full of insecurities and the desire to show people that he could be and do enough to replace the previous Robin, and she had gone and said so? Why, because she felt heartbroken that she and Dick weren't' an item any longer so she had to go and be a bitch about everything?
She groans, her head against the cold glass of the window. Maybe Jason is wrong and she isn't the perfect angel he thinks she is. Otherwise, she would have never done such a mean thing to a teenager.
Besides, what the hell? Dick wasn't perfect either. She was still nursing her injuries from her close encounter from the Joker, she was desperate because she didn't know if she would have ever walked again, and what did dear Dick do?
Dick slept with her.
And then the next day he gave her the invite for his wedding (after it fell on the ground while he was trying to do the walk of shame).
So, really- no perfect at all, her supposedly perfect man. Maybe because Dick always does his best to be perfect, do the right thing and never upset anyone. Jason, on the other side… Jason is, well, honest, for the lack of a better word; he speaks his mind, tells you what he has and wants to and he isn't an hypocrite about it. And with her… he is been so sweet, and… and also the whole Me too, Barbara, me too, whispered at half voice while holding hands…. Well, she doesn't know what it means, but hell… it does sound promising, right? And sweet. And romantic.
And… did she just call Jason Todd, aka the Red Hood, a romantic?
Oh, dear. She is a goner. And… and… and…
And then she doesn't even know what she was thinking or what she wanted to do or say.
Because her phone rings.
And it's him.
And she has never been that eager to receive a call from a boy (well, a man), or to answer it.
She closes her eyes and she takes big breaths- she may be eager, but she doesn't want to sound like a desperate teenager fan-girling after the charming and broody vigilante- and then, on the third- or maybe fourth, or 100th – ring… she finally answers.
They don't talk a lot- the first minute or two of the call is just the two of them breathing over the phone like two kids never being on a date, not knowing what to do the day after their first date ever; Barbara leans against the wall, her eyes planted on the dark city, slowly getting back to its old life; Jason sits on what he thinks should be a mattress, rubbing and scratching the back of his head like a nerdy boy with the hottest girl in school.
(Being a charming and broody vigilante doesn't mean he has game, apparently.)
And then… then, Roy "Lady's man" Harper makes his appearance knows, and he grins that smug annoying grin of his while he cross his arms and looks at Jason as to call him chicken.
"So… I liked working with you. I liked how well we worked together. I was wondering if you were interested in.. you know…"
"A team-up?" She asks. Even of the other side of the phone, Jason can see her smiling- and lifting an eyebrow quizzically at his weird request. Because, really? Didn't he really have anything better in his arsenal than asking her for a team-up? Just because he doesn't want to bring out feelings yet- especially not with Roy there grinning like an idiot maniac…
"Yeah, well… thing is, I have a… hiding place of sort on St. Martinique, and I thought that you could use the atmosphere. Which is totally stupid because after everything you two have been through, you'll want to be as close to your dad as possible and…"
"Two hours?" She asks him as she checks her watch. "Uhm. You know what? Let's make three…"
"Uhm?" The sound of the other end of the line seems to belong to a Neanderthal. Really- for being, well, who he is, Jason sometimes can be quite…. Oblivious. Ah, men!
"Three hours. I need to tell dad that I'm leaving for a while because I'm feeling overwhelmed and Gotham is just plain suffocating with memories and etc., etc. . And then I have to drop by my place and get my things. And tell my roommate I'm leaving for a team-up. And maybe I should call Dinah and ask her to watch over Burnside while I'm gone…" Hoping that she'll not ask me about where I'm going and with because I would never hear the end of it and she would totally call my every damn day just to know if we are sleeping together and know the intimate details of how Jason is in bed and I'm so not thinking about it…
"Barbara? You still there?" She uhm? On her side, awaken by her (indecent) reverie. "Uhm… do you want a lift? From your father's place to your own?"
"You and Roy still travel by space ship?"
"Yes?!" He isn't sure if it's a question or an affirmation. I may be charming, but I'm still a guy who spent his teen years with a grown man dressed as a bat and then in a sancta sanctorum….
"Then maybe it's better if we see each other on the roof of my place- my roommate, Frankie, she knows all about me, well, my other me, at least, so it's no big deal if she sees you. But dad has just avoided life in prison, and frankly, I'd rather prefer he didn't die of an heart attack seeing a space ship parked outside his windows…"
"Ok. So… just for the record, it means you are coming right?" he asks, tentative. Unsure. Almost shy. Which, in her eyes, is completely adorable.
"Yeah, I'm coming." She says, and she ends the call; she barely avoids giggling. And jumping. And biting her nails. She is a grown-up woman, after all. She has even already considered marriage before in her life, so there's no way she is allowed to act as a teenager with a crush just because of Jason The damn Red Hood Todd.
And yet… it's exactly how she feels.
She knows she'll have to lie to her dad, but deep down, she thinks that what matters is knowing herself why she is doing it.
And it's not because she needs a new scenery or because she feels overwhelmed by Gotham and the memories.
She knows it.
He knows it.
But they aren't ready to admit it.
Not yet, but soon… soon, she is pretty sure she'll have to have a conversation over the phone with Dinah about the abilities of her vigilante boyfriend in the bedroom department.