Nico sat on his bed, shuddering as he wiped tears from his eyes. It wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to be this vulnerable. He was the goddamn son of Hades, ambassador of Pluto, walker of Tartarus; hell he'd been deprived of all his strength and still managed to cross the country with a forty-foot statue. He shouldn't be capable of being this weak...yet, he was this weak. Hearing Will say that had made his chest burn, and his stomach feel like it was crawling out of his throat. Even just remembering it made him feel like throwing up.
Nico bit his lip as he stifled the sobs escaping him. I'm not into anyone, especially guys. Will had said with that bright, warm smile that Nico had come to realize could improve his mood no matter how bad it got. God, how could he have let himself fall like that. With all the hurt he went through seeing Percy with Annabeth's relationship, Nico had hoped he would've been smarter than to get a crush on another guy that was completely straight. It was so stupid. Normally he was so well put together that no one could get past his defenses, but somehow Will Solace managed to bust through the walls Nico had so carefully put up. What was it Cupid had said, something like love is always where you least expect it. Nico bit his lip bitterly. Yeah, it always seemed to show up just when he thought that he was finally done with feelings.
He wanted to bury himself in the ground and never come back up, or go to the underworld and never return to the world of the living. It wasn't like there was anything there for him anyways. Nico found his thoughts wandering to all the small moments that had made his heart betray him. After the giant war, he had hated Will. When Will had seen him start to fade into the shadows, he had immediately went to his aide to help him. When the usual Ambrosia and Nector had lost their ability to heal him, Will had gone out of his way to find unicorn draught just so he wouldn't fade into the shadows. At first, Nico had found him annoying, after he was forced to spend three days in the infirmary though, he had to begrudgingly admit that Solace wasn't so bad.
Will had all of these little quirks that made him less annoying. Like how he was really gentle most of the time, but he could be really bossy when it came to peoples health. He also bit the end of his pen when he was deep in thought or when he was frustrated he ran his hand through his hair until it was so messy it looked like he never brushed it. When Will had gently pushed Nico back on the infirmary bed so he could drip the unicorn draught in Nico's mouth, his eyes looked so concerned and warm that Nico couldn't help but want to see more of him. Even if it wasn't conventional, he found himself purposefully injuring himself just to see that look again. He had always told himself just one more time, just one last time before I stop and go back to being normal. Except it was never the last time, he could never get enough.
As he chewed on his lip, Nico drew in his legs close to his chest and fell, causing his small frame to bounce on the bed. Though he wasn't as malnourished as before, he had a while to go before he was in the healthy weight range. Sadly, Nico knew that Will wouldn't leave him alone unless he was in the top of his health. Even just thinking about spending more time with Will made Nico's chest tighten and made him want to sob even more. It just wasn't fair that he could never be with the one person he actually wanted to be with. Why was life so cruel to him?
The shadows were starting again. Nico could feel his arms and legs start to fade into the shadows, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Why not just let the darkness take him? It wasn't like he had anything to live for anyways. Nico sunk deeper into the shadows underneath him; he relished in the coolness. It felt nice to counter all the warm feelings he had felt. It soothed the pain in his heart. The shadows took all of his feelings good or bad, and just got rid of them. It was nice. Nico didn't have to worry about anything; he could just let everything be whisked away, and it would all be okay.
A knock on the door caught Nico's attention. A voice came through the crack under the door, and it startled him when he realized who had come for him. "Nico, are you okay in there? It's time for your medicine." Nico felt himself feel confused before the shadows took that feeling away too. Did he have medicine to take? He couldn't really remember, but he knew he didn't want to deal with whoever was on the outside of that door. Who was outside the door again? Was Nico supposed to know? He didn't really know. He just wanted to stay in the cool comfort of the darkness and let himself become a breeze.
"Nico, I'm coming in." The door opened and a head with blonde hair peaked in. Who was that again? He seemed familiar, but Nico couldn't put a name to the face. It probably wasn't important anyways. The blonde's eyes widened at Nico's state, but Nico couldn't really blame him. His arms and legs were almost gone at this point; his neck was starting to fade too. He could barely focus on the blonde's concern. Everything just felt nice. Nice and cool and he didin't have to worry about anything. The blonde had stared rushing towards him.
"Oh my god Nico! What happened? I thought you couldn't get this bad anymore. You were perfectly fine earlier, what happened!? The blonde picked him up and carried him. Nico wasn't really sure where he was being taken, but he didn't want to go. The shadows were starting to disappear at this guys presence. He was taking away the coolness and forcing Nico to take on all the heated feelings. He didn't want to take back the feelings. They burned and he couldn't do it. Nico knew he wouldn't be able to survive if he took the feelings again, so he did the only thing he knew what to do.
As the blonde tried to take him away, Nico twisted and turned trying to get away from him. He couldn't really remember exactly, but he knew at some point he had bitten his captors arm. But apparently that wasn't enough to get him to let go. As he was being dragged out into the light of the outdoors, Nico could feel his arms and legs starting to return from the shadows and he growled. He didn't want to leave. He refused to leave. Now, he started to scream. With his newly reacquired fingers, he started to scratch at the blonde, trying to hit anything he could.
"Jesus christ Nico, I'm trying to help you. I need you to calm down!" The blonde was getting angry as he carried Nico towards a white building. That wasn't good. Nico knew that if he went in, all of the warm feelings would come back and he didn't want that to happen. It would hurt. He struggled harder, now much more desperate to escape. The blonde swore as Nico moved more, but he was resolute in making sure he didn't dissolve.
Two people came running up to the blonde, attracted by all of the screams. They both looked worried. "Will, what's wrong with him!?" It was another Blonde. Nico was coming to the realization that anyone with Blonde hair was bad for him. Will kept running and the two other joined him.
"I don't know. I found him fading again and he isn't coherent. I have to get him to the infirmary so he can get his medicine. I don't know how much longer he'll last like this." They were approaching the white doors faster, and Nico was getting more tired from his struggling. That wasn't a good sign. "Percy, can you run ahead and get a room clear for him." The black haired one nodded and ran ahead. Wait, Nico thought, his struggles slowing. Why did that name sound so familiar? He leaned against the guy apparently named Will as the memories rushed him. The manticore, a cliff, and a floppy, green hat. Bianca. Where was she? Where was Bianca, his sister? Why wasn't she with him? Nico wished he could remember where she was. He missed her. For some reason, his heart made a painful twist as he thought of her.
As Nico was thinking, they had reached the infirmary. He was laid on the bed and something was dripped into his mouth. It tasted funny, but not bad. The three people stood over him, all of their expressions worried. Will looked the most concerned though. Nico's eyes flashed with recognition, but he couldn't recall why he felt so sad when he looked at Will. He had a gut feeling that he could trust him though. While Nico felt himself falling into sleep, he used the rest of his energy to touch Will's cheek.
"Will," Nico's voice sounded groggy, even to him. "Where is my sister? Where is...Bianca?" All three pairs of eyes widened at his question, but Nico couldn't bring himself to care. He let himself fall back down on the white bed and fell asleep; his thoughts consumed by his missing sister.