Author's note:
Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, it has helped me through writer's block and other nasty obstacles, I love you all so much!
I am now uploading the reviewed version, and when the last movie comes out I will finally get on with this story, then upload a LotR sequel I am already working on. I have read the book and watched the 1977 cartoon, and (SPOILER ALERT) I know how Tolkien intended for everything to end. Fuck you, by the way, good sir. Anyway, this fanfiction is based on the movie verse, and is, as the name suggests, a fiction written by a fan.
Not much has changed since the original version, mostly small details for my fellow perfectionists and a few other kinks I worked out. So enjoy, and feel free to keep giving me constructive criticism.
Stepping over the invisible borderlines of Hobbiton, she sighed. It had been a while since she had seen her old friend Bilbo, and though she knew he did not like unexpected company, she could not pass the opportunity to visit him, her being so near the Shire. Making her way through the well known road, she tried to relax her muscles. It always took a few hours after a job for her to unwind, and the prospect of one of Bilbo's hot, soothing mugs of tea made her quicken her pace. She inspected herself. Well worn boots were silent on the road, her form fitting trousers tucked inside the leather over her knees. Her loose shirt was stained with the result of her latest mission. She cursed silently for choosing such a light colour to wear. She knew the sight of blood on her clothes made Bilbo cringe, but he was used to seeing her like this. Her light pack was filled with only the essentials, even lighter than before, recently having lost her cloak. She ignored her shivers, letting the chilly breeze of the night soothe her as she neared the Hobbit hole.
A slight frown crept over her forehead as she neared the round door. She noticed it had been painted green, over its previous dark varnished wood. Also, a familiar mark was on the bottom. Her head snapped up as she heard loud laughter. That was so very unlike Bilbo, to have loud guests. She made her way up the steps and knocked on the door, raising her eyebrows in surprise as it was wrenched open by a very distressed looking Bilbo.
"I am not letting any more Dwarves inside my—oh, Ruby. It's you." He quickly noticed the stain on her sleeve, but as usual, did his best to ignore it.
"Is this a bad time?" She asked amusedly.
"No, no, please, come in." Bilbo stepped to the side. "Watch your head." he joked, as he always did when she visited him. Even though he was a Hobbit, and a head shorter than her, he often made fun of her height, being considered one of the 'tall folk' in Hobbit's eyes. Still, she didn't need to duck her head to comfortably walk around his house. She narrowed her eyes playfully at him and entered the cosy hole to find it full of Dwarves. She looked questioningly at Bilbo, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips as he ran off towards one of them.
"Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine. Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam, please! ...Excuse me." He shouted in vain. A large Dwarf was currently walking out of the pantry with three entire wheels of cheese. "Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?"
"Cheese knife? He eats it by the block." Another answered.
As Bilbo argued over his antique chairs, books and maps, Ruby silently made her way to the dining room, where the Dwarves seemed to have pushed tables together. In the hallway, she met yet another old friend.
"Gandalf, the grey." She called.
"Ruby, what a lovely surprise!" the Wizard was hunched over to avoid hitting his head. "What brings you here?" his eyes snapped to her shirt, and she once again scolded herself for not wearing a darker colour.
"I was nearby, working. You?" she watched as Gandalf studied her closely. He had many times voiced his distaste for her choice of trade, but oddly enough, he seemed to be studying her in a new light. Nodding, as if making up his mind, he answered.
"Adventure. I believe you will be interested as well." He replied excitedly. Of course she would be. Gandalf knew she would join them. Fate had a hand in this, he knew.
"Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf, can I tempt you with a nice cup of chamomile tea?" a Dwarf called the taller man's attention.
"Oh, no thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me, I think. How about you, Ruby?" they both turned to her.
"I'll take that tea, thank you." She took the cup from the Dwarf with a grateful nod.
Standing with her back to the wall, and away from the hectic movement in the middle of the hall, she watched as the Dwarves tore poor Bilbo's home apart. She was trying very hard to remain calm, her nerves not yet cooled from this afternoon's mission. She saw Gandalf walk out of the dining room, trying to avoid the scurrying Dwarves. He hit his head on the chandelier, making her grin lightly, then began counting the Dwarves on his fingers.
"Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin," he said, as they walked past him. "Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori...Ori." Ruby tried to remember which name went with which face, but it was too much for her.
She saw Bilbo wrestle a bowl of tomatoes away from Nori. Ruby mused at the Dwarf with an axe in his head, who approached Gandalf and talked to him in what seemed to be Khuzdul.
"Yes, you're quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one Dwarf short." Gandalf answered.
"He is late, is all. He travelled North to a meeting of our kin. He will come." Another commented. He glanced at Ruby and nodded politely. "Dwalin, at your service." She raised her teacup in greeting, to which he clunked his wooden ale tankard as softly as a Dwarf could, resulting in the delicate china breaking in her hand. The hot liquid poured over her fingers and on the rug. "Oops, sorry lass!" he dabbed at her hand with the hem of his sleeve. "Are you hurt?" he motioned to her sleeve.
"No harm done, I'm fine." She waved him away with a polite smile.
"Mr. Gandalf?" Dori returned. "A little glass of red wine, as requested. It's, eh, got a fruity bouquet. Miss, I have taken the liberty to brew you another cup."
"How thoughtful of you, er...?" Ruby accepted the delicate china.
"Dori, at your service." He bowed as well as he could with a tray in his hands. "I hope you did not hurt yourself, miss." He eyed her sleeve.
"Just call me Ruby." She glanced at both Dwarves. "Thank you for your concern, Dori, but I'm not hurt." She sipped her tea, ignoring the glances to her sleeve. "The tea is perfect, Dori. Thank you." She snapped him out of his staring and he gave Gandalf his wine.
"Ah, Cheers." He clinked the tiny glass with Ruby's tea and drank it in one gulp. Looking sadly at the cup, he was torn from his wish of a little more by a snicker from the woman. "Mm." He grunted. "Are you quite alright?" he asked.
"I'm just a little...winded...from my last errand." She phrased her words carefully as the Dwarves walked past them. Gandalf nodded, understanding. "I was hoping for some tea," she held her cup up. "and some old toby." She produced a pipe from her small pack. "Which I will now procure." She padded off to find Bilbo, who pointed to a jar on the mantelpiece at seeing her pipe in her hand. She stuffed her pipe slowly and carefully, as she watched the Dwarves along with Bilbo. "Mind telling me what is going on?" she asked lowly and listened to him rant. The poor Hobbit needed to get used to company, he was turning into a shut-in.
Everyone began throwing food around, and Bilbo walked away in disgust, Ruby trailing behind him, adjusting the tobacco leaves in her pipe. He looked at his pantry in shock. It had been entirely cleared of food. Looking behind her, she saw a young Dwarf walk on top of the table, carrying several cups of ale and knocking aside the food in his way.
"Who wants an ale? There you go."
"Let him have another drink!"
"Here you go."
One Dwarf poured his ale into another's hearing trumpet, and as he spluttered in anger, everyone else laughed. Putting his hearing trumpet to his mouth and blowing the ale out of it, it squealed. One of the Dwarves yelled, "On the count of three!" and the Dwarves pound their tankards together. Someone else counted, "One! Two!" Then all the Dwarves went quiet and began drinking their ale together. Ale fell all over their faces and ran down their beards. A burping competition had Ruby chuckling at Bilbo's disgusted state.
"Excuse me." She wondered about the Dwarves and Wizard in her friend's home, but right now she needed to calm herself before one of their rash movements triggered something involuntary in her. She made her way out of the house and climbed nimbly up the wall to rest on the grass covered roof, her back leaning against the warm chimney and listening to the racket in the house. Flicking her wrist, a small flame appeared on the tip of her finger, a trick she had learned from Gandalf. Lighting the pipe, she puffed and closed her eyes.
'Bilbo is going to have a lot to clean up.' She thought, puffing on thick white smoke.
"Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" she heard said Hobbit.
"But it's full of holes!" a smile crept on her lips.
"It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet."
She kept listening to their bickering, her nerves considerably calmer, as they began a merry tune.
"Blunt the knives, bend the forks
Smash the bottles and burn the corks
Chip the glasses and crack the plates
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth and tread on the fat
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat
Pour the milk on the pantry floor
Splash the wine on every door
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl
Pound them up with a thumping pole
When you've finished, if any are whole
Send them down the hall to roll
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"
Ruby listened as she saw a figure approach down the road. As it came closer, she recognized it as another Dwarf. He stopped in the middle of the steps and looked up to her. He seemed tense. Her response was a simple puff. He saw the embers on her pipe light up her face, a red glint to her eyes. Still keeping his eyes on her, he reached the door and pounded it three times. The door opened and he saw the Wizard.
"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice." He ignored the snicker from the roof. "Wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door."
"Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!" Bilbo was outraged.
"There is a mark, I put it there myself." Gandalf said, then raised his voice. "Ruby, my dear, come down." Thorin looked up to see the woman sliding down the edge of the roof and landing lightly on her feet next to him. She looked up at him and met his icy blue gaze easily with her own fiery chestnut and walked past him into the house. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield." Gandalf continued, satisfied that the woman was considerably calmer.
"So, this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?" Thorin shed his cloak.
"Pardon me?" Bilbo watched the Dwarf scrutinize him.
"Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?"
"Well, I have some skill at conquers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that's relevant." He smiled at himself.
"Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." Thorin jested. After the laughing died down he turned to the silent woman. "And you are?" He studied the stain on her arm.
"Not impressed." She looked him up and down, much like he had done with Bilbo.
"Be nice, Ruby." Gandalf frowned at her.
"Nice..." She muttered lowly, subduing a snort in her throat.
Choosing to deal with her later, the Wizard led the company back to the dining table. As Thorin ate, the rest talked to him.
"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin asked.
"Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms." Thorin answered between spoonfuls.
Ruby listened to them as she slowly padded towards the dining room, just as Gandalf was saying:
"Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak." He spread a map on the table.
"The Lonely Mountain." Bilbo read.
"Aye. Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Gloin affirmed.
Oin nodded. "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end."
"Uh, What beast?" Bilbo sounded concerned. Ruby crossed her arms and leaned on the doorframe, eyeing Gandalf. The Wizard took in her appearance. Her boots had seen better days, leather trousers were scuffed and old, and her loose white shirt had an ugly reddish-brown stain. Gandalf raised his eyes to her face. They spoke silently as the others conversed.
"What are you up to now, old Wizard?" she murmured.
"I could ask you the same." He looked pointedly at the stain on her shirt. Thorin was close enough to hear and turned his head to inspect the woman himself. She chuckled and trained her gaze on the Dwarf leader.
"Interesting company you keep nowadays, Gandalf." He said.
"Indeed." He puffed at his pipe as he watched the two stare at each other.
"And you forget, we have a Wizard in our company." Kili was saying. "Gandalf will have killed hundreds of Dragons in his time."
"Oh, well, now, uh, I-I-I wouldn't say that, I—"
"How many, then?" Dori quipped.
"Uh, what?"
"Well, how many Dragons have you killed? Go on, give us a number!"
"Hm." Gandalf embarrassedly started coughing on his pipe smoke as the Dwarves jumped to their feet, arguing about the number of Dragons Gandalf had killed. Ruby laughed quietly in her corner, earning a glare from the Wizard.
"Atkât!" Thorin stood and bellowed, silencing the others. "If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The Dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!" he sat back down as the other Dwarves cheered.
"You forget. The front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain." Balin said.
"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Twiddling his fingers, Gandalf produced a Dwarvish key, ornately wrought. Thorin looked at it in wonder.
"How came you by this?" he asked.
"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." Gandalf handed the key to Thorin.
"If there is a key, there must be a door." Fili said in wonder.
Gandalf pointed at some runes on the map with his pipe as Ruby rolled her eyes.
"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."
"There's another way in!" Kili said excitedly.
"Well, if we can find it, but Dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Gandalf explained. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle-earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."
"That's why we need a burglar." Ori looked to Bilbo.
"Hm, A good one, too. An expert, I'd imagine."
"And are you?"Gloin challenged. Ruby looked at Bilbo, who seemed slow to comprehend the question.
"Am I what?"
"He said he's an expert!" Oin laughed along with the others. Even Ruby let out a dry laugh.
"M—Me? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a burglar; I've never stolen a thing in my life." The Hobbit defended himself. "Unlike some." He glared at the grinning woman.
"One of the lesser evils, don't you think?" she was aware of the other Dwarves taking her in now that all was calmer.
"I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material." Balin studied the woman next to the Halfling.
"Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin agreed.
"Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is." Gandalf's voice thundered and the room became temporarily darker, silencing the Dwarves. "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet." He went back to his normal self. "In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the Dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf, the scent of Hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest, and he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this."
Thorin turned to Ruby. "What of her?"
"Yes, what of me?" Ruby raised her eyebrows at Gandalf. The Wizard could see a glint in her eyes he knew all too well.
"Ruby is..." he started carefully. 'Complicated', he finished in his mind. He knew her for centuries, and knew she was capable of this journey, but also of the danger of keeping her close.
"I'm a sellsword." She stated simply.
"You?" Thorin sized her up, disbelievingly, eyeing the stain on her shirt. After looking briefly at Gandalf, he made up his mind. "Very well. We will do it your way." He said to the Wizard. "Give them a contract" he ordered Balin, ignoring Bilbo's protests.
"It's just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses," The white bearded Dwarf was saying. "time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." He handed them both a roll of parchment.
"Funeral arrangements?" As Bilbo stepped back a few feet to read the contract, Thorin leaned toward Gandalf and whispered to him.
"I cannot guarantee their safety."
"Understood." Gandalf tried not to show his pleasure with his victory. Ruby watched them, the roll of parchment forgotten in her hand. She had signed more of these than she could count.
"Nor will I be responsible for their fate." The Dwarf continued.
"Agreed." This time, Gandalf was serious.
Bilbo was reading parts of the contract out loud as Ruby stood in the same position, eyeing Thorin, who stood in the doorway.
"What?" he asked as the others talked to Bilbo.
"I'm deciding whether you're worth my services." She mused.
"I think you're giving yourself too much credit, woman." He frowned.
"Don't judge me too quickly, master Dwarf." She signed the contract and rolled it up.
"You don't even have a weapon." He crossed his arms.
"That you can see." She grinned at him as his eyes roamed her form, trying in vain to find the sharp outline of a weapon, but only seeing soft curves.
"Hmmm. Nope." They watched the Hobbit faint and tumble to the floor.
"A sellsword without a sword." He raised an eyebrow as Bilbo was carried away. "The things I have to deal with..."
Ruby merely smirked at him and turned, making her way to the living room. The two brothers approached her.
"Hello. Ruby, is it?" One of them said.
"Hello." She answered politely.
"Fili." The lighter haired one said.
"And Kili." The other added.
"At your service." She watched as they bowed.
"Really?" she raised her eyebrows in amusement.
"Foolish boys." Ruby recognized the bald Dwarf as Dwalin. "You don't say that to a sellsword." He cuffed them on their heads. "No offense." He turned to Ruby.
"None taken." Ruby laughed. "You seem at ease accepting my trade."
"Aye, I have seen enough to not find a woman being a sellsword strange." He nodded. "Not that it isn't." They shared a laugh.
"May we ask—" Kili started, pointing at the stain on her shirt.
"It's not a pretty tale." She interrupted.
"You seem...different." Dwalin changed the subject, remembering his encounter with her earlier in the hallway.
"My line of work often leaves me...winded." Ruby explained. Dwalin nodded in understanding. "Excuse me, I have to find a fresh shirt somewhere..." The bald Dwarf and the two brothers watched her wander off to one of the many rooms in the house.
"An interesting addition to the company." Dwalin mused, as the younger Dwarves nodded.
"It appears we have lost our burglar." Balin said, watching Bilbo disappear down the hall. "Probably for the best. The odds were always against us. After all, what are we? Merchants, miners, tinkers, toy-makers; hardly the stuff of legend."
"There are a few warriors amongst us." Thorin smiled at his friend.
"Old warriors." The Dwarf nodded.
"I will take each and every one of these Dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I called upon them, they came. Loyalty. Honor. A willing heart. I can ask no more than that." Thorin looked around the living room at his Dwarves.
"You don't have to do this. You have a choice. You've done honorably by our people. You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains, a life of peace and plenty. A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor."
"From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me." Thorin fingered the key "They dreamt of the day when the Dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. There is no choice, Balin. Not for me."
"Then we are with you, laddie. We will see it done."
"Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To find our long-forgotten gold
The pines were roaring on the height
The winds were moaning in the night
The fire was red, it flaming spread
The trees like tOrches blazed with light"
Ruby listened as she re-entered the living room, lacing up the collar of her (Bilbo's) fresh shirt, her old one balled under her arm. It seemed she had chosen well, signing that contract. Many times she had worked for petty reasons, but she needed the coin. She tossed the old shirt in the bin and made her way to one of the free armchairs near the fire. Sitting down and throwing her legs over one arm of the chair, she crossed her arms and snuggled into the softness, savouring it and the heat from the fire against her back while she could. She knew from experience that the road was hard, rough and cold.
"Ruby." She turned her head to see the Dwarves were settling down for the night. Thorin stood next to her. "Take the sofa." He said gruffly.
"Why? I'm fine here." She tried her best to be polite and not answer in the same tone he used with her.
"Sellsword or not, I know how to treat a lady, and she should have the most comfortable at our disposal." He pointed to the fluffy furniture again.
"Me? A lady?" Ruby threw her head back and laughed loudly. "What are you going to do, carry me around on a perfumed cushion the whole trip?" she wiped some moisture from the corner of her eye. "Let me enjoy the fire if you're so adamant about my comfort." She ignored Thorin's glare and snuggled back to the position she was before and listened to the fire cracking. A soft thump was heard and she opened her eyes again to see Fili and Kili spreading spare cushions on the floor in front of her chair as makeshift beds. They lay with their heads close to her and looked at her upside-down.
"Good night, my lady!" Kili teased.
"Sleep well, my lady!" Fili added.
"Sweet dreams, princes." Ruby ignored Thorin's annoyed grunt as he was made fun of and angrily turned on the couch so that his back was to them.
"We are princes, you know." Fili grinned.
"Really? How so?" she asked.
"Thorin is our uncle." Kili explained.
Said uncle made loud and rude shushing noises at them. Reaching down, Ruby snatched one of the cushions from under Fili's blond head and threw it at Thorin. When he looked back at their snickering, she quickly pointed at Fili.
"What? No!" he argued, then grinned as he saw the cushion fly back to Ruby, but she caught it before it hit her. Dropping it back to him she bid the brothers good night again and closed her eyes.
Translations:
Atkât! - Silence!
Du Bekâr! - To arms!