A Jagged Whole: Imperfect Shards
Chapter One: A Question of Wrong and Right
A/N: Right, so now that "When All Was Lost" is done, I figure I'll keep my wits about me and keep working. This is the first in the "Jagged Whole" series. It follows the story of the Ascension's CO, Matriarch Lidanya, and the council alternate, Matriarch Irissa. I figure I'd give these seemingly invisible characters a past, so here goes :) Enjoy, and as always, flaming criticism is welcome. If there is any confusion on anything, let me know so I can clarify :)
Shadows crept across the walls and ceiling as the sun hung low behind the cityscape that was Serrice. Parnitha bathed Thessia's skies in a smooth orange that faded into reds and purples with passing clouds. Normally, it would have been breathtaking to see from a distance, but there were things more urgent to deal with.
Two notices of deployment were displayed on separate datapads. One bore her name and the other, her bondmate's. Issued on the same day, they had the same signature at the bottom, indicated the same squadron, and both had the destination listed as "Currently Unavailable". It was hard to say which piece of information bothered her more. Having stared at them for the last hour intermittently, while she had been making calls, the purple-skinned commando frowned deeply as her dark eyes landed on the datapads again.
Having received both notices a week ago, she had spent that time searching for more information. Why had they called them both at the same time and for the same squadron? Why was there no news on where they were going or what they were meant to do? Nothing had been marked as classified. Every call that she had made had left her with no answers and a growing frustration. Shaking her head as she placed one last call, she sighed when there was no response. Settling for a message instead, she heard the nearest door that led outside open. Looking over her shoulder, she saw the two young asari enter and pause momentarily in the doorway to the study.
"You coming, Dad?"
"Yeah, be out in a minute." Turning to face them for a moment, she crossed her arms. "You two need a lot of practice if you think you'll beat me."
"Bring it on!" When they headed back out the door, the commando smiled in earnest. Those two girls were the only things in her life that kept her positive these days. With the door closing again, she returned to the terminal.
I'm out of options. That assignment I mentioned the other day is still too vague. Hit up my contacts, and Alana is looking into it on her end, but so far there's nothing. You mentioned that you might have a means to get some answers. If you can, let me know. I'll owe you one.
-Lidanya
Seeing the message clear her outbox, she stood and headed for the door. Looking outside, she saw the two younger asari, her daughters, playing biotiball. Adept at controlling their biotics, both moved with precision. Both Selyna and Alestia were athletic, and they had a friendly competitive nature with each other and with her when it came to biotiball. Stepping outside, the commando blinked rapidly while her eyes adjusted to the brightness, but when they did, she used a pull field to seize the ball. "You two ready for this?"
"Yeah!" Both said this as they faced their father. Selyna, the eldest, went on. "Was that Mom?"
"No." Having not mentioned the upcoming deployment to them at all, Lidanya used her biotics to casually move the ball around. "I'll probably hear from her tonight."
"She's been up there for two months." Saying this casually, Alestia backed off and assumed a defensive position, while Selyna took an offensive one. "You'd think they'd run out of stuff for her to do."
"Unless the rumor is true; that they drown you in paperwork when you become a commando." The sarcasm in Selyna's voice made her father laugh.
"Well, they do drown you in paperwork, but they usually give you a warning first... or a shovel." Stepping forward, Lidanya sent the ball straight up into the air. "Heads up!"
The game, while a welcome distraction, didn't last forever, and when the sun sank too low to offer sufficient light, they had to call it a tie. Both girls had teamed up against their father in hopes of beating her, and they had come close. The only reason Lidanya managed the tie was because she had advanced optics from her early days in commando training. Watching the two girls heading back into the house, celebrating their near victory, Lidanya allowed herself a half smile. It had been too long since they had let loose and had fun like this, but there was still something missing. Usually, Alana was here, Selyna and Alestia would choose sides, and it would be an even two on two. The thought caused that half smile to ease back into a frown before she forced a neutral expression.
Re-entering the house herself, the commando heard what sounded like a call coming in from a comm terminal. Heading into the office again, she answered it with a simple tap of her hand on the console. Sitting down at the desk, she saw the holo projection clarify, revealing a teal-skinned asari with dark blue markings. Wearing a science uniform, she looked rather tired; posture reflecting it as she leaned to one side In her chair.
"Evening, Alana."
"It's been one of those days." Skipping the introduction, the asari looked her bondmate over with a curious expression. "What have you been doing?"
"Almost losing to your daughters in a game of Biotiball." This brought a rare smile to her bondmate's face, which Lidanya was thankful for.
"They team up against you?"
"Yeah, because you weren't here to talk them out of it." The triumphant smirk that graced Alana's lips had the commando concerned slightly. "Glad that amuses you."
"I have more influence over them than you do?" Questioning in a slight sarcastic manner, Alana didn't wait for a response. "Strange, seeing as I'm not the one home all the time."
"It was a joke." Deciding to move on to another subject while the girls were out of earshot, Lidanya leaned forward slightly. "I'm running out of options here, Alana. For the last week, I've been looking into this deployment, and so far, I've got nothing."
"I've been speaking with people here all day, and they know nothing; or at least there's nothing that they want to talk about."
"So basically, you're hitting a brick wall like I did." Leaning back again, Lidanya grimaced as her spine popped. "I've got one angle I haven't worked yet, and I'm waiting for a response."
"They can't seriously think of doing this-"
"Calm down, Alana." The words were a constant that seemed to be on the edge of her tongue most days now. "I'll see what I can do, but I don't have much pull with them right now; you're the one that's been on base for the last few months…"
"You know how to get them to listen." Her bondmate's tone laced with desperation, her face showed the same in the holo projection. "We've never left them before. Why the hell would they schedule us both for deployment at the same time; and to the same place, no less?"
"Your guess is as good as mine-"
"Damnit, got to go. I'll call later tonight. Don't tell them yet." The teal-skinned asari glanced over her shoulder as another passed by. "I'll see what I can do from here, as well. No promises."
"Alright. Take care out there, Alana."
"Always. Tell them I love them, Lidanya." The holo of Alana disappeared with a small "click" as the terminal's connection was severed. This left the room dark and painfully silent. It had been like this the last two months, and there were far too many questions that needed answered. Rising from her place near the window, Lidanya faced the setting sun. Living in a suburb of Serrice, there was a good view of the city, and that could sometimes distract her from the issues at hand.
Alana had been stationed at an outpost within Thessia's orbit. Holding position, the station had been one of the newer planetary defense measures that had been ordered after the Krogan rebellions. Now, it was just another place for naval personnel to be sent for their evaluations and for general military business. She was there now doing evaluations of younger recruits and commandos that had been out in the field dealing with merc activity on the Terminus borders. Unfortunately, two months was bordering too long, and both knew it. Hearing her omni tool chime, the commando looked down as it activated. The message that flashed across the display got her attention.
"Meet me outside."
Turning on her heel, she left the home office she had spent most of the day in and made for the first floor landing. The four bedroom home had been set up as a split level with the bedrooms and a lounge upstairs with everything else on the lower level. Approaching the smoked glass door that led out to the landing, Lidanya didn't even have to bother with her omni tool. The door parted and opened, recognizing her ID, and she stepped out into the cool autumn air. Noting the extra skycar parked ahead, she cast her eyes around the wide landing and found a familiar figure admiring a dwarf tree that was starting to bloom. Deciding to speak, rather than clearing her throat, the commando approached.
"Find that interesting, do you?"
"I know where it came from." The amusement in the newcomer's tone made the first traces of a smile work their way onto Lidanya's lips. "I'm impressed. You've had this for quite some time."
"It's a reminder." Stepping just behind the other asari, the commando eyed the dwarf tree. When in bloom, it was full of blue and indigo blossoms that would feed off of the bitter winter temperatures. The full-scale version of the tree was an even more impressive sight. Branches hanging low, almost in the style of a willow tree, it grew tall and full when in bloom. "First time I saw one of those trees in the mountains… Feels like a lifetime ago."
"You were an impulsive maiden then." Amusement still present, the other asari turned, blue eyes landing on Lidanya.
"You would know, Irissa."
"Indeed I would." A ghost of a smile reaching her lips, Irissa retrieved a datapad from one of the tables nearby. Transferring something from her omni tool to it, she nodded in satisfaction before passing it along. "You requested information on your next assignment?"
"I did, and it was denied." Dark eyes scanning over the scrolling information and images, they widened when she reached a certain point. "How did you get this… And why send a shadow team to the Perseus Veil? We were still on good terms with the Quarians, last I checked."
"Keep reading."
"…Artificial intelligence…" Pausing for a moment to look up at the other asari, the commando frowned. "It was forbidden years ago… Unshackled AIs were executed on the Citadel…"
"That happened within the last century, yes." Looking out over the open space ahead, Irissa wore a tranquil expression. "I believe that is the reason that you are being sent on a shadow operation."
"Why would they send an asari squadron? Isn't this an issue for the Citadel fleet?" It made more sense to send someone that wasn't from a specific race, and Irissa seemed to agree. "You'd think the Turian peace-keeping forces would be all over this."
"From what I understand, they were originally. Apparently, the council assumed that it would be more intuitive to have this handled with discretion."
"Discretion." The bitter tone Lidanya used made Irissa look back at her with an understanding expression. "People will find out about this eventually. There's no way of keeping it quiet."
"I know."
"So, that's the big assignment, huh?" Finishing reading the contents on the datapad, Lidanya placed it back on the table before deciding to sit down in the chair nearest. "I don't like this… Artificial intelligence being "accidentally" created… What's next, another mass execution?"
"More than likely." Sitting opposite of the commando, Irissa looked thoughtful. "If these speculations are true, that is. Random ships picked up erratic transmissions coming from Rannoch's surface as they passed by, but there is nothing being said publicly."
"Imagine that hitting the news. VIs that Quarians created for practical slave labor turning into AIs due to excessive tweaking. To top it off, they are revolting."
"Not terribly unforeseen, is it?"
"No." Hearing laughter from the open window above, Lidanya shook her head. "They don't know yet, and I'm very tempted to tell them." Dropping her voice slightly, she went on. "They don't know much of anything that's been going on lately."
"Have things between you and Alana worsened?" Leaning forward and dropping her voice as well, the other asari's eyes were filled with concern. "I thought you two were attempting to work it out."
"We were, until this last assignment. Since she has been off-world, every conversation with her seems to be interpreted as hostile." Raising a hand to carefully massage her temples, Lidanya heard more laughter from above. "I thought things would get better after she returned from that one assignment in the Terminus. Her squad was sent to take down a branch of the Blood Pack that was starting to torment one of the asari colonies out there, and she wound up stranded for a week while reinforcements were sent."
"I remember reading the reports on that incident." Pulling up said reports on her omni tool, Irissa looked over them again. "Didn't she return with a head injury?"
"Yeah, a moderate one. She was paranoid when she got back here; always looking over her shoulder. She didn't sleep all that much either; that went on for the first few weeks."
"You don't think the injury had anything to do with that, do you?"
"I don't know." Tone more resigned, Lidanya let her head fall into her open palm. "The paranoia eased off, somewhat, but then everything we discussed turned into an argument. A few times, it got physical; thankfully when the girls weren't here-"
"A fight broke out between you two?" It was hard to imagine anything warranting that between those two. Irissa's concerned frown eased off a bit with Lidanya's next words.
"It didn't come to blows, or at least not with me." She hesitated slightly before speaking again; the events playing back in her mind. "I… I had to restrain her twice. Both times, she walked it off and we didn't talk for a day or so afterwards."
"You say Selyna and Alestia weren't home at the time?"
"They weren't, thankfully." Both women looked up and saw the backs of the girls' crests near the open window. "I know they're forty years old, but I don't want them to have to worry with this."
"They don't know that you two are arguing again, and they have no idea that you'll both be leaving for the Veil in two weeks." Irissa sounded almost skeptical. "You'd think they would at least figure out the former."
"They probably have, to be honest." It was a reluctant admission, but Lidanya had to agree with Irissa on that one. "They probably just don't know how to handle it. As for the Veil, I'm telling them tonight."
"Alana didn't want you to."
"No. I assume she was going to when she spoke with them next, but I'm not sure. Either way, they need to know."
"I couldn't agree more."
"So, aside from all this, how's your life going?" Deciding to lighten the mood a bit, the commando leaned back in her chair a bit, while still keeping a half-rigid posture. "Got to be more interesting than this."
"While still with the commandos officially, I'm being handled as a political attaché as of late, so it's hardly interesting."
"You're getting into politics now?" This caused Lidanya to laugh in earnest. "I never would have imagined that."
"There are times where I'd rather be doing ship maintenance…" Laughing at the idea herself, Irissa went on. "It has its benefits, however. How else do you think I found out about this?" Motioning to the datapad in reference to the mission to the Veil, she saw Lidanya nod. "I will easily admit that I did not want this. I was content with the Asari Navy."
"You did look pretty good in a commando uniform."
"You would know." It was an innocent sounding statement, but there was more to it, which Lidanya exploited.
"Would I?" The playful tone she used caused Irissa to lean forward again, interlacing her fingers as she did.
"Ah that's right, you weren't concentrating on the uniform." The smirk that formed on her lips made her blue eyes spark as she went on in a lower tone. "Too distracted thinking of being off-duty."
"Maybe." Leaning forward as well, purple-skinned hands surrounded Irissa's blue ones. "Those were probably some of my better years."
"Ah yes; going through daily routines aboard ships and maneuvering between the thin lines of protocol just to find more time to ourselves…" Irissa's gaze held more than a nostalgic memory. Looking as if they were stained with gold due to the setting sun that shone in them, Lidanya found she couldn't bring herself to look away.
"What ever happened to what we had?"
"I think some would call it hitting the matron stage," There was an uncertainty lacing Irissa's tone, and it too was reflected in her eyes. "But I cannot be sure…"
"Would you go back?" It was an impulsive question, and given the situation with Alana, the commando had no conscious idea as to why she posed it, but the answer she got set her heart ablaze.
"In an instant." Seeing the microscopic facial tick, Irissa redirected the question. "Would you?"
"I would." The admission was instantaneous, and Lidanya couldn't stop her thoughts from forming her words. "Even if only to relive it, I would." Hearing her omni tool chime again, she looked down. It was a notification of a call coming through. "Damnit. I'll be right back."
Seeing Irissa's nod, Lidanya rose and returned to the terminal in the office she had left earlier. Tapping the console to receive the call, she sat down and saw the holo of her bondmate appear again. Straightening her posture, she addressed the teal-skinned asari. "Alana? I didn't expect you to call this soon."
"They basically told us we still had several evaluations to do and that if we wanted a break, we'd better take it." Turning briefly to nod toward a passing coworker who handed her a datapad, Alana placed it somewhere out of the camera's view and faced Lidanya again. "I just found out that I'll be here until two days before we deploy, by the way."
"They were hoping to see you sooner…" Having heard both Selyna and Alestia mention that earlier in the day, Lidanya didn't look forward to the conversation she planned on having with them that night. "I found out a few details about that assignment."
"Any idea where and why?"
"Yeah." Lowering her voice as she saw a few people still in the background, Lidanya continued. "We're being sent to the Perseus Veil. There are some rumors that the Quarians took things too far with the Geth and we've been asked to do a sweep and investigate."
"So they've accidentally created an artificial intelligence… What does that have to do with us?"
"From what I hear, it's the council, not high command." Seeing Alana's eyes widen in recognition, Lidanya spoke again. "Bottom line, they want us for a shadow op."
"Who's your source?"
"Irissa."
"Ah yes," The minute bitterness that found its way into Alana's tone caused the other asari to frown. "The commando that sold her soul to become a politician."
"Really, Alana? Come on…"
"What did you have to do?" Brow furrowed at the slight glare she received, Lidanya kept her voice low and reasonably calm as she responded.
"I put in a request for the information a few days ago. We talked about this last night, if you'll recall."
"I know what we talked about last night." The shortness in which she spoke was a clear sign of her mood. Alana's light blue eyes returned to their usual sharpness as she went on. "They don't just give out information for nothing."
"What are you suggesting?" Keeping her voice down, Lidanya worked to keep her emotions down. She had hoped for one day, if not only one conversation, where they didn't wind up arguing.
"We both know that you two have a history-"
"Our history has nothing to do with this." Rising in volume slightly, the contempt filtered into the commando's tone. "That was years ago, Alana. What are you implying?"
"She's there now, isn't she?" Recognizing the familiar accusatory tone, Lidanya was prepared for it.
"Yeah, she is. I just found out about the assignment minutes before you called-"
"Then I'm not implying anything." Leaning back in her chair, Alana crossed her arms. "I'm gone two months and this happens?"
"What the hell?" Not bothering to keep her volume in check, Lidanya glared back at her bondmate. "Where is this coming from?"
"I'll leave you two. I have to get back to work-"
"No!" Leaning forward slightly, the commando's tone was sharp as she spoke. "You tell me where you're getting this. You've got some issues to work out if you think-"
"I'm not discussing your indiscretions here-"
"Your paranoia is out of control!" Slamming her hand against the steel desk, Lidanya didn't care about the resounding smack it made; the pain was momentary, but it faded.
"I am not paranoid!" Tone just as sharp, her voice was reduced to a forced whisper.
"Yeah you are," rising from the chair she had occupied, Lidanya saw the camera following her movement. "And if you can't figure out what's going on in your head, I'm done." Preparing to leave, she heard Alana's response.
"Don't turn your back on me-"
"I'm not going to fight it anymore." The slight break in Lidanya's speech as she faced Alana again didn't faze her; neither did her unreadable expression. "Figure out your own issues before you start inventing mine." Not waiting for a response, she turned on her heel and strode out of the room. Heading for the outer landing, she didn't even see the two asari by the stairs; both were wearing matching worried looks.
Three emotions raged within her like a vengeful storm; anger, indignation, and hurt. The last one took a moment to figure out, but it was only a matter of admitting it to herself that that was what she was feeling. The thought that Alana, her bondmate of just over two centuries, would accuse her of such a thing caused a growing pain in her chest. Stopping for a moment to press her hand against the cool glass of the door, the commando attempted to steel her emotions, but it was failing miserably. Meditation took too long, peaceful thoughts were non-existent, and she could just hear the connection between terminals breaking. This led her to simply give up on the attempt. Opening the door manually, she saw Irissa ending a call over her omni tool.
Cool air hitting her in brisk waves as she exited, Lidanya stepped forward and placed her palms flat on the smooth stone waist-high ledge that separated her from the drop down to the grass below. Focusing her gaze straight ahead, she felt her facial muscles twitch involuntarily and mentally swore. Clenching her jaw, she didn't hear anything but Alana's accusation repeating in her mind. A hand on her shoulder nearly made her jump, and when she turned, she couldn't help but feel her muscles relax slightly.
"I haven't seen you like this in ages." Regarding the commando with a worried expression, Irissa went on. "What happened?"
"It didn't go well…" It was all she could say while managing to keep her voice and emotions in check.
"Alana." It wasn't a question, and they both knew why. When Lidanya nodded slowly, Irissa closed her eyes momentarily. "What happened?"
"You won't believe it." Having half a mind to retake the chair she had left to answer that call, Lidanya realized she didn't want to put forth the effort to reach it. "She thinks I've gone behind her back with someone."
"She actually accused you of that?" The disbelief that registered with that statement was nothing compared to the commando's answer to Irissa's next question. "With whom?"
"Who do you think?" Having lowered her head momentarily, Lidanya looked back up and saw the expression Irissa wore. "I told her what you said about this assignment, and she starts questioning where I got the information. She referred to you as the commando that "sold her soul" to become a politician. Then, she asks me what I had to do, because "they don't give information out for nothing". I called her out on it, but it only made it worse."
"Please tell me you're joking." Shaking he head in continued disbelief, the other asari couldn't even process what Lidanya was saying. She had known them both for centuries, and this was far beyond anything she could have imagined. "I can't even think of a response appropriate for any of this…"
"You don't have to say anything." Raising a hand, Lidanya placed It on Irissa's shoulder. "She was way out of line. Hell, she even went on to say that we both knew that you and I had a history."
"Yes, we had a history, and that has no bearing on your getting this information-"
"-and somewhere in her head she knows that, but you wouldn't have guessed it by how she talked." The frustration that had built during her conversation with Alana returned momentarily, but Lidanya moved quickly to suppress it. "All of this is just… unreal."
"How do you feel about all of this?" The question had been at the forefront of her mind since she had seen the commando exit the house and make her way to where she stood currently. Knowing her as she did, Irissa could make a safe guess that Lidanya's mind was racing.
"I've fought this for nearly a year now… I've had to practically lie to our kids and tell them that she's getting back to normal, when she's really getting worse. Hell, I've had to restrain and keep her from using her biotics twice! What's to stop her from going off on them one day?" Lowering her head again, the commando felt her breath hitch in her throat, but she hid it well. Chest muscles tightening again in response, she released the breath she had been holding. "I can't do this anymore…" Thinking on Irissa's question, she realized she hadn't really answered it directly. "How do I feel about it?" Leaving her left hand on Irissa's shoulder, the commando stepped closer, so that there was less than a foot between them. "She accused me of stepping out on her…" Extending her right arm so that it wrapped around Irissa's waist, Lidanya pulled her closer. "For the first time in over two centuries, I feel like proving her right."