It's finally here! I may be a fast reader…yeah, I finished the Death Note Manga about…uh…2 weeks ago…I've just been extremely lazy. And I want a good start to things.

As for the um, context…well, considering I have to involve all the characters, most of which, L, Mello, Matt, etc. are dead, it'll require some suspension of disbelief. Particularly in how everyone actually begins meeting.

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Near was bored. Don't mistake him, he was very glad the whole Kira thing was over with, or at least Light himself was. Kira's followers were still rife.

"He certainly did change the world, I do have to hand him that." Near mused. Near had an endless supply of toys, though. Such was the way of the genius, to have some quirk to go along with the vast intellect. And so, he looked around, and happened to find a Jack Sparrow action figure.

"But why is the rum gone?" Near imitated Jack as best as he could. Of course, no pirate mischeif would be complete without a hat. Unfortunately, the only paper nearby was some sheets of Death Note paper Near had saved. He didn't tell anyone, and he in fact worried about the temptation to use it, but a trump card like THAT was worth having around. And so, Near, taking a sheet, began folding it into a paper pirate hat! Very proud of himself, he placed his new headgear on his, well, head. Suddenly, the room began to spin, and Near felt nauseous, and his vision became so blurry he couldn't tell WHAT he was looking at. Hindsight, Death Note's probably had uses Near wasn't aware of…

When Near came too, he couldn't believe his eyes. There was L, His predecessor, standing over him! Or rather slouching. With a slice of cake in hand.

"Don't look so surprised." L spoke up.

Near, with great reason, was concerned "Am I dead?"

Matsuda piped up "Nope!"

Near was obviously curious then. "Then what's going on?"

"You put a hat made of Death Note paper on your head. Your hallucinating!" Spoke up Ryuk between huge bites of apple.

Light, AKA Kira, spoke next, strangely pacified. "Strangely, we'll be saying things you weren't aware of. I think the Death Note has something to do with it."

Near Sweatdropped. "Is Mello-"

"DAMN RIGHT I AM!" Yelled Mello, furious at Near as usual, eating a chocolate bar, also as usual.

Near backed up, slightly worried that he would be attacked. Sure, in brainpower, he could outwit anyone, but physical activity was not his strong point! "What's going to happen, then? And why aren't you all fighting?"

Matt took his cigarette out of his mouth and tapped it, ash falling ot the floor. "We've found a common enemy."

Near was startled, though he didn't show it. "A common enemy? Who? Or what?"

"THIS." Light said, pointing to a computer which had several windows open. DeviantArt, Youtube, etc. All the major online media websites.

Near took a closer look at them. "Oh…OH…oh…is that what I think it is?"

Ryuk Nodded. "You humans call it Yaoi, right?"

Near Gulped. Light swore. L….kept eating sweets as usual. Matsuda was asking Ide questions. "Ide, Ide, Ide! What's an Uke?"

"I'll tell you when your older."

Light took the lead at that point. "We've decided we're not going to take this anymore. We're going to show these stupid, mindless 'fans' what we think of them. We're going to…Yell at the Fandom."

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First Chapter complete, yayz! I really have nothing to say here. Rate, Review, Recycle!