A/N: Thanks to Vilannh! You are so awesome to take the time to help me with this story!
And thanks to AlphaEN as well. Not beta'd so mistakes are still mine ;)
DISCLAMER: I do not own SVM character's the Brilliant Charlaine Harris does and Alan Ball has TrueBlood… Please don't sue, I have no money I'm not making any money on this and I'm just bored and kinda just mixing it up ;)
Rated M for Language
Double-edged Sword
SPOV
I really didn't want to go into the club proper and see all the disgusting Fangbangers but I thought it might be a little entertaining so I went out to Eric's booth. As soon as I sat down I got a gin and tonic from the new bartender I didn't know her name so I just told her thank you and she looked at me like she was terrified of me and bowed. I was dumbfounded I never had a Vampire bow to me before. I was about to ask her what the hell she was doing when she said.
"Sookie Stackhouse, my name is Felicia. Pam informed me that you belong to the Master and that I should introduce myself. She also told me that you have a habit of killing the bartenders at Fangtasia and told me to and beg for your mercy." She looked up at me and I just blinked at her with my mouth hanging open. I didn't know what to say to that. I never killed any of the Bartenders here.
I started thinking about all of the Bartenders that had finally died since I first stepped foot in Fantasia. Longshadow, Eric killed him. Chow he died in the Witch War and I didn't do it. Clancy nearly got drained dry, but he survived (wait was he a bartender?). I didn't kill any of them. Then I remembered that one Vamp that tried to pose as Dracula okay him, but that's just one. I looked up and she was still looking at me. I felt a tickling in my head. Oh hell no! Did this bitch think she could actually glamour me!
"Um… okay you got it." I smiled my 'Crazy Sookie' grin she looked relieved but a tiny bit weary and bowed once more. I grabbed her wrist hard be for she shot off. She hissed and her fangs descended. I gave her my meanest stare down and said "But… if you ever try and glamour me again, you will be begging me for it." Then threw her wrist aside. She paled and her eyes got shifty like she didn't know what to do next. "You can go now, and keep the drinks coming." I said and waved her off. She shot back behind the bar like she couldn't get away from me fast enough. I looked around the club to find Pam she was standing three tables away and clearly watching the whole exchange. She was laughing, laughing! I have never ever seen her laugh. I gave her a look to say "WTF!" She came over to the booth I was sitting in.
"Sookie, I must say… my undead life is never boring when you're around." She said in her usual tone contradicting her statement, but was smiling. I wanted to laugh but I really wasn't in the mood. I just shook my head I couldn't believe her.
"Pam, why are you causing trouble?" I asked a little worried.
"Why… whatever do you mean, Sookie? You know how much I love to amuse myself. Life can get a little dull after a few centuries." She said and winked.
"I thought the point of all this bullshit was to keep me safe. What if she tries to kill me? She acts like she's afraid of me." I said perking up a little at Pam's jovial mood. This was rare for Pam. The most I get out of her is a smirk and sarcasm.
"Don't be absurd, Sookie." She tsked. "No Vampire in this Area will lay a finger on you…." she tilted her head to the side looking at me like I was dinner. Normally I'd be offended, but hell that's just Pam. "…but to answer your question, Sookie all the Vampires of Area 5 will fight to death to protect you, by Eric's orders." Her face softened and whispered "Myself included."
"Better watch it Pam, people might get the impression that you might actually care for a 'Breather'." I said a little loud and winked at her and she scoffed for show.
I started to sip on my drink when a skinny blond fangbanger walked up to Eric's throne. Eric didn't acknowledge her, but that didn't stop her. She bent down to his ear and whispered something then pulled back to look at him. He looked back at her and smiled that breathtaking Eric smile and said something back to her.
Pam followed my gaze and said "You know Sookie. If you don't want to be with Eric any longer…physically, I mean." her fangs slid down "I would be most willing to accommodate any 'needs' you might have." She finished with a lick to one of her fangs as if to get her point across. 'Gotcha loud and clear, Pam' I thought, but out loud I said…
"Ah, Pam… I'm glad you're having a good time at my expense, but I'm really not in the mood for you lesbian shit tonight." and she lost her smile she actually looked like I hurt her feelings. "But if I decide to swear off men completely, you'd be the first to know." I said jesting.
"Oh Sookie, how lucky…for me." She said being sarcastic and good 'ole Pam was back. I just smiled brighter at her and she smiled back then disappeared.
While Pam and I were goading each other I couldn't help to feel incredibly jealous with the show happening in front of me. But who am I to try and stop Eric from having a feed and fuck, especially since I won't be on the menu. I continued to watch Eric and the slut. She looked like she was ready to jump him right here in front of the entire crowd. Eric stopped talking to her and she walked away from him. She looked so blissfully happy. I couldn't help myself I had to hear what he told her. I dipped into her brain and all I got was white noise. I then looked at Eric. He was watching me and smiling. I quickly turned away from him to stare straight ahead of me. With that Vampire speed he was sitting right in front of me.
"Lover" Eric said still smiling.
"You don't get to call me that" I said sulking.
"Why can't I? We were at one time were we not?" He asked still smiling. I didn't respond and he just chuckled as he followed my glare to the fangbanger he was talking to earlier.
"I glamoured her into believing that we had sex and that I fed from her. Then told her never to approach me again." He said still smiling. My head snapped back towards him.
"Pam say's I've been bad for business since I regained my memory. She suggested that I glamour them into thinking they got what they wanted instead of kicking them across the room." He said and he chuckled again.
"What makes you think I even give a shit if you fuck or kick any of them?" I said with distain but I couldn't help but to be happy that he wasn't fucking fangbanging whores.
"Sookie" was all he said while he shook his head and this time wore the sexy Eric grin. My heart took off like a hummingbird and my lily started to get warm. Eric stood up right next to me and inhaled deeply towards me and sighed. Then he kissed my cheek and said "We'll be closing in a few minutes and I'll take you home." Then walked away.
As we drove back to Eric's I thought about the events of the evening and was so torn. Eric pulled his vette into the garage I thought to myself, Why am I being such a bitch to him? I snuck a peak at him and he is so beautiful. I want to spend the rest of my life with him I do, but with My Eric, not this self-serving asshole. But I can't un-separate them. I think if I want to keep my sanity I'll have to. I should separate my love and remember who Eric really is and stop clinging to my short lived fantasy. I sighed, as I reached to open the car door to get out Eric grabbed my hand closes to him and said.
"Sookie" I looked over at him right into his beautiful eyes and saw such desperation, a need. I sighed again… damn him. He's so fucking confusing. I was so tired from shielding all night not to mention all the stress from Jason and the Queen. All I wanted to do was go shower, crawl into bed, and pass out. I really didn't need or want to have a conversation with him right now, but looking into those eyes gave me pause.
"Eric?" my brows raised in question. Then my blood boiled as I remembered where I was and why I was here. Then it was his turn to sigh.
"Nothing" he said coldly as he let go of my hand. WTF! I thought to myself.
I followed him into the kitchen and he stood there looking at me. I ignored him as best I could and almost ran into the bedroom that was my gilded cage and slammed the door shut. As much as I crave Eric, as much as I want him to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything is going to be okay I just couldn't be comforted by him. I was still so bitter at him for my current situation. I tried to reason with myself. He cares about me, he's doing this for my safety, I thought about that look he gave me in the car. It was so confusing. I remember what Eric offered me when he stayed with me. He would give everything he built for himself up, would marry me, and take care of me. Is that what is trying to do? Does he remember the week we spent together and doesn't want me to know? Is this how he plans to keep his promise, without having to give everything up? Damnit! What is it with him? He's so kind and gentle one minute and a cold bastard the next. I thought all this as I shed my clothes, adjusted the water temperature and stepped into the shower. That first shower with Eric and all those that followed flooded my mind and I collapsed onto the floor and cried while the shower head streamed water down my back.
EPOV
The drive home from Fangtasia was quiet. I looked over at my Lover and she looked deep in thought. I did not want to interrupt her because of all the emotions that was rolling through her. Anger, lust, sadness, helpless, confusion all these and more just kept going through her as if on a loop. I so desperately want to comfort her, but I need to keep my distance and let her come to me. As we enter my garage I feel a surge of remorse, love, resolve and determination coming from her. So I take a chance and grab her hand. I want to tell her that I love her, that there is nothing, absolutely nothing I wouldn't do to keep her safe and with me. But I know Sookie. It will take time and patience. Maybe I should just tell her I love her.
"Sookie" I said as she looked at me and what I felt from her love, confusion, lost, anger always anger it seems. Though she has every right to be angry with me.
"Eric" she says with such contempt it makes me my resolve falter.
"Nothing" I say and drop her hand. I can't stand the way she treats me.
I made my way through the door and stood to watch her enter, she's confused. I decided not to push her into anything and wait from her to come to me. Every time I tried to reach out she pulls away and lashes out at me with her anger and contempt. I promised myself I would be patient, but she is wearing it very thin. More so when she ignores me and runs into her bedroom. I feel her chaotic emotions flare again. It takes every ounce of my strength not to follow her, scoop her up, tell her that I love her, that I will be here for her, take care of her, do everything in my power to make her as happy as she can be staying with me and beg her to yield to me. But I will not do it. I need her to do it. I need her to say that she loves me and wants to be with me. I do not think I can take anymore of her spiteful rejections.
I wave of sadness sweeps through me. I fall against the kitchen counter and I grip the sides so tightly that it starts to indent and contour to my hands. I hang on for all I have to stop myself from rushing to her. I listen and I hear her crying. That was all it took. With vampire speed I almost breakdown her door and rush into her shower still clothed, pick her up and sit her into my lap.
"Shhh….I'm here my Lover." I rub her back and hold her in a rocking motion to soothe her. She continues to cry into my chest. I kiss her forehead her cheeks. I tilt her chin up and place a shadow of a kiss on her lips struggling not to attack her and ravage her like I really want to. She took my face into her hands and started to deepen the kiss parting her lips and allowing me entrance. I took advantage of her gesture and kiss her passionately, I am so lost in her I am shocked when she quickly pulls away.
"What are you doing Eric?" she asked confused and scared.
"I felt your sadness; I wanted to be sure you were okay." I tell her.
"Well I don't need your pity." She says as she pushes herself off of me.
I stood and said nothing. Will she listen to anything I say? How can my needing to comfort her be confused as pity? Damn this stubborn woman. She's driving past me the point of my sanity. Why do I even bother? Maybe I should just let her go to the Queen. She is so broken and it's my fault. I mentally chide myself. She is to be protected at all cost. I just have to be patient she's been through so much tonight and has suffered great loss throughout her life. I'll just give her more time. I let myself out of her bathroom and room and go into my office to do some work before I rest for the day. I strip off my clothes and toss them into the trash. I sit at my desk and try to regain my calm. As I go through my emails and Fangtasia paper work I feel my Lover's tenuous calm as she slips into a deep sleep.
Later I feel the slight hum of her life that is connected to me through my blood. As I finish up with my work I feel the pull of the dawn and of Sookie. I feel as if she is calling to me. I go to her and find her peaceful form, she is smiling. I wonder what she dreams. Are they of me? Part of me wants to wrap myself around her and just hold her. But that is a small part that I do not understand or even want to tolerate right now. More of me wants to bite her, fuck her, and rub myself all over her. I am in awe of this woman she makes me feel so many different things that are new and things that are primal and in my nature as Vampire. Since I regained my memory and returned to my Sheriff duties I've not properly fed and nor had any desire to fuck any of the pathetic rabble that throw themselves at me every night. She makes me feel weak and I hate it.
A/N: Double-edged Sword. . . Do ya'll get the correlation? I always felt like Pam got cheated out of witnessing her high jinks with Sookie and Felicia. I love it when Pam messes with people. LOL. And I just couldn't help myself with Eric's most infamous line. :P